My Don Juan: A Blessing and a Curse
Don Juan
By Yesenia Herrera
Latino men in my community are stereotyped in the following ways:
- Men are level-headed leaders of the home.
- Machos are unkept, domineering, impulsive, aggressive, and often high status in the community.
- Mariposas are the equivalent of “fag.” They show “too much” interest in their looks and, perhaps, speak or walk without the signature Latino macho streak.
- Don Juan’s also take great care of their looks, but they are so busy bedding women that they avoid being seen as gay. In other words, Don Juan’s are mariposas with roses and women — which frees them from stigmatization.
I’ve been blessed (is a curse not a blessing too?) to cross paths with several men who fit at least one of those categories. Read the rest of this entry
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Body Image: What Guys Don’t Get
Mila Kunis
Do you ever worry that you’re too fat, too thin, or that your breasts or derrière might be too big, too small, too droopy, too lopsided…?
Men are often surprised when they find out that their partners are worried about such things— “You’re beautiful!” they think. Read the rest of this entry
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Women Are More Responsive To Repression
Women’s sexuality is more hushed-up and punished in our culture:
- Sexual women are still called “sluts” and “ho’s”
- Parents — especially fathers — are more open about sexuality with their sons. In fact, dad may brag about his son’s sexual prowess but not his daughter’s
- Viagra is openly advertised but products aiding women’s sexuality are not
- Ever seen a movie about girls trying to lose their virginity?
- The fear of sexual violence — or actually experiencing it — makes sexuality seem fearful to women and girls
- And be careful girls, or you may get f’d or screwed
AND women’s sexuality is more responsive to punishment.
Why? Read the rest of this entry
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Once and Future Gender Equality
Most people don’t realize that the world wasn’t always male-dominant.
Even today a few egalitarian societies remain. Like the !Kung of Africa or New Guinea’s Tchambuli.
Going back in time, when Europeans first set out to conquer the world, they were surprised to see how gender-equal some of the peoples they met were. Like American Indians and Pacific Islanders. Read the rest of this entry
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How’s The Double Standard Make Sense?
Emma Stone in “Easy A”
People often ask:
How does the double standard make sense?
Men can’t have sex with women unless women have sex with men.
And, how is it fair that guys can have lots of sex — and be rewarded, in fact — but women are shamed if they behave in the same way. It’s crazy.
Logically, it doesn’t make sense.
But if you want to create a patriarchy that values and privileges men over women, the double standard helps to create that world. Read the rest of this entry
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Religion Shutting Down Sexuality
Religious sexual repression
Harmful messages about sexuality are too often transmitted by conservative religions of all stripes.
The Christian woman quoted below is talking about how much she shares with another Christian woman’s experience:
“I suppressed most of my sexual urges.” YES. Hell yes, I did. “I was more or less asexual.” YES. I didn’t have a sexual thought, didn’t have a sexual fantasy, didn’t have a sex drive. I’d suppressed these things out of existence. Read the rest of this entry
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Feminist, Emma Watson
Feminist, Emma Watson
Hermione Granger of Harry Potter is a strong-girl-turned-strong-woman.
Smart, strong, sassy.
And so is her alter ego, Emma Watson, who has spoken before the United Nations on the need for feminism.
A few of my favorite quotes: Read the rest of this entry
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Tampons Are A Luxury But Viagra Is Not?
“Free bleeders” like Kirin Gandhi, running a marathon.
“Free bleeders” like Kirin Gandhi don’t use tampons. Or sanitary napkins.
Some of the time.
Just to show that they are luxury items.
Because it’s just fine to bleed all over yourself and your clothes. And the furniture.
And then spend hours washing out the blood. Or buying new clothes. And new furniture. Read the rest of this entry
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Sexy = Sexual?
Paris Hilton, “That’s hot!”
When people talk about sexuality, they sometimes confuse looking sexy with being sexual.
At least when it comes to women.
You see a sexy woman and assume that she is sexual. When you don’t know anything about how she actually enjoys her experience in bed. Maybe she is just looking hot but not feeling hot. Read the rest of this entry
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Virtually Attack Women, But No Nudity
Boys playing video games.
A gamer creates an avatar resembling himself and plots to kill a three-dimensional, lifelike woman. The avatar grasps an axe and raises it to strike. He hears the thud as the axe slices her head. He hears her cry out in pain. He sees her split skull and feels the sensation of blood on his hands and face.
I’ve just paraphrased one part of Supreme Court Justice, Samuel Alito’s opinion on whether video games of this sort should be protected as free speech in sales to minors.
Yes, he uncomfortably concludes. Read the rest of this entry
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