Category Archives: relationships
What Abusers and “Pro-Family” Conservatives Have in Common
“The pill”
Birth control sabotage is a common form of partner abuse. In a report released by the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 25 percent of women callers to the hot line, who voluntarily answered questions about birth control and pressure to get pregnant in their relationships, reported some form of reproductive coercion.
The callers said their partners hid birth control pills or flushed them down the toilet. Some refused to wear condoms or poked holes in them. One woman’s partner became furious when she got her period. Read the rest of this entry
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Relationship Terms That Dehumanize Women
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Meanwhile, we do a very good job of dismissing relationships as unimportant in American culture, even though most guys value them very much. These expressions below need to go the way of the dodo. And yes, some of these could be applied directly to men by women or have easy parallels. Those expressions need to go away too. Read the rest of this entry
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I Can’t Stop Staring At Other Women
He’s all eyes.
Looking at other women has become a big problem for me.
I want to learn how to stop. I mean no harm, but it upsets my wife and hurts her. She says I lose touch with reality and become a different person — and don’t even notice her.
That’s from a 42-year-old man whose been married 16 years. He’s totally satisfied with his wife, he says, and has no interest in anyone else.
But he feels he has no control over his ogling. Read the rest of this entry
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Handholding, Hand Jobs, and Intimacy
I recently admitted my surprise that some people find handholding more intimate than a hand job.
And I admitted that, for me, the “aloof intimacy” of non-emotional sex ranges from unappealing to disturbing.
And then I asked people who saw things differently — both on my blog and among my friends — to tell me how they felt.
Here’s what they said — plus a few more thoughts: Read the rest of this entry
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When Porn Makes Your Decisions
Hooked on porn
Pornographic images seem to activate a man’s visual system in a manner that goes beyond just looking at trees or even people. It’s almost like a high-definition signal compared with a standard signal.
That’s from William Struthers, Ph.D., a biopsychologist who wrote Wired for Intimacy.
He says the signal feels a lot like a drug. Some men call porn a “drug” and say it gives them a “rush” and makes them “high.” One man called it, “More mind altering than alcohol or any drug I’ve used.” Read the rest of this entry
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Hand-Holding: More Intimate Than Sex?
Which is more intimate? Handholding or a hand job?
A young woman attending a college workshop on sexual assault was shocked to hear men say they thought handholding was more intimate than sex.
After all, they held hands with women they cared about. They could get a hand job — or even intercourse — from any old hookup.
Well, I’m perplexed, too. Read the rest of this entry
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Nice Guys Are A Turnoff?
Feminist Ryan Gosling
A lot of guys complain that being nice kills off the feminine libido.
But that doesn’t make sense to me because I’m only attracted to nice guys. So are my friends.
And plenty of women are attracted to these nice guys: Read the rest of this entry
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Libido Killer: My Man Ogling Her
Years ago I briefly dated a guy who ogled other women.
Ogle: To look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently; to eye; look or stare at.
I “get” noticing and appreciating an attractive gal. But he dissolved into her. The many hers. While I faded away.
He thought I was weird: “Most girlfriends wouldn’t mind!”
But it was a huge turnoff. Read the rest of this entry
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Introverts Are Good At Relationships
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First of all, what is an introvert?
Introversion and extroversion are some of the least properly understood terms in psychology. People assume it means whether or not you like to be around people. This is overly simplistic and simply not true.
Here is the best way that I’ve heard introversion explained. Read the rest of this entry
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Why Dating Resists Gender Equality
How to ask a girl out
Gender equality has grown by leaps and bounds. We now have women CEOs, heads of state, religious leaders, media pros, doctors, lawyers and accountants…
But dating — at least the early stages — has remained resistant.
In the early stages of relationship, most men take the lead and most women passively wait. Read the rest of this entry
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