If Men and Women Swapped Roles in Porn
By “Peter”
I wonder how people would respond if men and women swapped roles in porn?
Would it seem funny? Or even ridiculous?
Especially changing out men’s role. Because of gender ranking — we value men and masculinity over women and femininity — women can be tomboys but men can’t be sissies!
That’s why women can wear masculine clothing without anyone thinking much about it. They may even look more powerful. But men can’t wear women’s clothing without looking like wimps or ridiculous.
But if porn were reversed men would be the sex objects in a female-run world.
Men would be the noisy sex, moaning at his partner’s sexual finesse, and stroking the female ego. “Yeah, she knows how to do it right!”
Women would be quiet and stoic, because it’s not a woman-thing to express emotion.
Most porn would be produced and directed by women, as well as the camera operators. And some female porn stars would have directing input.
The men would be super-hot, and super-excited to have sex with less attractive women.
Female stars on camera would be in control and “directing” the sex, what’s to come and how it’s done. Now it’s the woman who’s in charge.
Suddenly men are banged aggressively and violently by women. “Wham bam, thank you man!”
In fact, females dominating males would be a major theme, and not just a niche fetish of the milder dominatrix genre. No, this would be more aggressive and brutal with women pounding men, humiliating them, calling them whores, and forcing them to do disgusting and degrading acts.
It would all feel like men are “serving” women.
Like a woman might be on a couch coaxing (non-verbally) “Come on guys, let’s do it.” Kind of like the men don’t have any agency. You’d get the vibe that they are pleasing the women, instead of f*ing them.
When the man’s on top it’s just filler until the woman takes control and goes hard on him. Her attitude would be, “I’m coming down on you because I want to f*#k your brains out.”
And of course, women — who think with their vaginas instead of their brains — would be high-fived for nailing as many men as possible while guys who succumb would complain about being used for sex, and women would put them down as sluts and hoes.
On this topic, some woman on Reddit suggested this:
All the focus should be on the guy and instead of looking like he’s enjoying himself he should be constantly looking at the camera and awkwardly adjusting his position so it gets the best view of his junk.
The camera should always be focussing on the guys cock and balls, and the woman’s disembodied hands should occasionally come into shot and rearrange the guys genitals in frankly weird ways while the guy pretends this is the height of sexual pleasure.
The guy should be making ridiculous fake noises and asking the girl to do things to him in the most degrading way possible.
It should finish with a close up of the guys face, tongue out, making weird nasal moans as if he’s still getting off, while the girl finishes herself off off camera.
I bet the guys will love it!”
It’s actually really hard for me to imagine all of this, though, which may show how I’ve internalized our culture.
What do you think?
“Peter” wrote this in a blog comment that I edited into a blog post.
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Posted on October 16, 2017, in pornography and tagged gender ranking, gender-swapping, porn, sexism. Bookmark the permalink. 131 Comments.
BroadBlogs 
I think if the roles of porn were switched, it would require society as whole to make a switch as well. oddly enough you can get a taste of what society expects, enjoys and desires based off of the fantasies that are played out in these films. Of course you can see how the dominance of male figures runs the industry as well as society because of the roles that each gender plays in these films. I find this interesting because you can see an increase in this sort of category and is slowly becoming a more prominent genre rather than just a niche. I wonder if this is a direct result of the progression of women’s rights and equality, or is it just another creative idea to continue pumping out original content.
After reading some other comments of the blog I agree that the porn might not be taken seriously. I myself am ok with sex talk and have talked to some guys about porn and what they watch and I don’t think watching porn is something we should hide. But 9/10 the guys said they watch it for the women if they were watching straight porn. So making the women the main character is something I completely agree with. There is lesbian porn but its not 100% the same and if the roles were complete switched I think it would be more enjoyable for people that watch straight porn. Plus women are gorgeous.
If men and women swapped roles in pornography I dont believe it would be taken serious, people would probably take it as a joke. When a woman does something that is considered normal for a man to do, oftentimes women do not get taken seriously. Porn is not realistic, it creates an unreal expectation that is expected of women. So if the roles were swapped it would be interesting to see men in a position where they are objectified.
“If men and women swapped roles in pornography I dont believe it would be taken serious, people would probably take it as a joke.”
And that right there tells you something too, doesn’t it?
Well it would be hard for them to be popular because ultimately what has to be popular would be what most men would watch since much more men watch porn than women. Even if it’s something some women might like…if most men would not watch it, it would not sell or be mainstream. It might be like you said, because women’s sexuality is suppressed, women don’t get to really have the taboo of male body or sexual tension as well as freedom to really enjoy or treat male body as purely sexually arousing. It’s easy for women to have the hangup or perhaps even if sub consciously can effect women. I think it’s because women aren’t visual like that, that it wouldn’t sell. It’s not because it couldn’t be sexy or men’s bodies aren’t sexy. But a woman would kind of have to be visual like a guy is, instead of passive visual desire she’d have to have a more sexually aggressive visual desire toward male body to be turned on by such porn. And most women aren’t geared that way. There may be the bell curve in which this would be really hot for them or perhaps visual women with more male mindset or sexually dominant mind because of being freed from the hangups most women have.
I think women are thought to be less visual BECAUSE we eroticize the male body less. Women can learn to find the female body more erotic than the male, so they must be visual. You probably remember this: Women Learn the Breast Fetish, Too https://broadblogs.com/2010/11/29/women-learn-the-breast-fetish-too/
But for sure women’s sexual desire is also repressed, as you say, so that has effects, too.
Does women being able to learn to find the female body more erotic than the male, mean women have this visual potential like men? Or women’s bodies are so insatiable that even straight women get turned on because women aren’t made to have a clear cut sexual orientation? Most are straight-ish?, I still would like to see to believe where you think women have this visual potential toward male body, just because of how women can learn to be turned on by female body? Maybe it doesn’t mean a visual potential women could have toward male body, but women just don’t inherently have a strong visual desire to male body itself, and nothing could be taught to make it more, whereas female body is more sexually superior to even have this over women. Maybe women have some inherent ability to be somewhat attracted to women. Gay men aren’t affected by women’s naked bodies or learn to be turned on by women’s nudity despite women being sexualized and gay men seeing all that erotic stuff of women all over ads just like straight people see.
I don’t think that women naturally find women’s bodies attractive since neither man nor women experience a breast fetish in places where women are topless all the time. Instead, because women have a lower sex drive their sexuality seems to be more fluid, latching onto what the culture says is sexy. And actually men latch onto what the culture says is sexy to since you don’t find a breast fetish in all cultures.
Here is a theory on why women’s sexuality seems to be more fluid: https://broadblogs.com/2015/10/19/sexual-fluidity-images-biology/
This explains why women but not came in learn to find the female body attractive, too.
Our culture strongly sexualize is the female body but not the male body so both women and men learn to find the female body sexually attractive.
Doctor, don’t you think that adult movies of such a genre already exists? I mean the milder and the aggresive versions, both. Would like to learn from a woman how she would react to such a film (assuming that it’s produced, filmed and directed by women only)?
They may be out there but aren’t prevalent or main stream. I would also be interested in knowing how women would react. I don’t personally like it in the common way or in the gender switched way..
I see.. I believe nobody knows about the preferences of the target audience and the demand for this genre of movies, which might explain why they aren’t mainstream yet..
If they were popular and making money they’d be mainstream.
Interesting, but if it’s a woman ravaging a man, nothing actually suggests it’s gender switched, just the perception. That’s the thing though, it’s only the perception that men ravage, not women or men don’t express themselves sexually to suggest they are being ravaged which makes it gender switched. It’s only just one being the aggressor and other passive, but not like dressing a certain way. So that’s the interesting part. Technically it seems to me, what would be gender switched it stuff where like a dude wears women’s clothes or lingerie or something like that. Or is like penetrated by a woman with a sex toy or strap on. or something like that. So it makes sense since it’s very clear and obvious, that it’s not like a masculine manner because of being in literal female, feminine positions or representations. There’s nothing, inherently feminine just perceived that way to express sexual enjoyment or just being submissive with regular intercourse or being desired like a sex object, but is assumed that and why it still is seen funny by people. It’s interesting that it’s very easy even if nothing downright feminine by a dude, to be looked as “a bitch/’ from just moving a little way from stereotyped masculine behavior in the aspect of sex or dating.
“but if it’s a woman ravaging a man, nothing actually suggests it’s gender switched, just the perception. That’s the thing though, it’s only the perception that men ravage, not women”
Yeah, there are a lot of levels to think about this, aren’t there?
To be quite frank, this isn’t hard for me to imagine, but it is a bit weird to think about, probably because I too have internalized out culture in a similar way (something I’m constantly trying to be more aware of). Personally, I don’t believe porn is beneficial to women in any way. If anything, this reversed point of view emphasizes the degrading nature of pornography towards women, but it seems more extreme because men are never put into such a vulnerable, inferior role. If a pornographic film like this were made, it might just open their eyes, but I highly doubt it something like that would ever be taken seriously. They would claim it wasn’t the same because “women like it.” I believe pornography gives young women and men many false expectations about sex. Teenage boys don’t realize the women they’re watching are getting paid, so they go on to expect this behavior from their sexual partners. Many young girls don’t yet have the confidence to say no to strange sexual acts or requests, and pornography can make them believe it’s expected of them.
So what if men and women swapped roles in porn ? I strongly believe our society would find this as some type of sex comedy. Not porn. Men would mostly like find this to be “gay”. Of course the average man doesn’t want to hear another man moan, much less excite him. Yet, the act of seeing two women together is considered hot, by most men. The “proper” porn would be a female being feminine and a male acting like a macho.
Over generations we have been taught that a boy wears blue and a girl wears pink. So of course, when a man dresses up in women clothing, it’s frowned upon. However if a women dresses up in male clothing it’s normal. Men clothing is know to be comfortable. I don’t think our society would consider it normal for men to wear women clothing anytime soon. They’re just not ready to accept the fact that we, the people, are changing.
Well, you can look at this in a couple of different ways and both are revealing.
One is the way you see it which reveals so much about gender in our culture and how we eroticize the female so much more than the male. And how we demean women sexually so much more than men.
Or You can actually also put yourself in the role of seen it as a complete mirror image, and that reveals much too
This was a study of adults in Montreal. Here is the research:
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/how-common-is-your-sexual-fantasy-9835480.html
Nothing showed up on the table as far as the results of sex fantasies on that page. I could see the article, but nothing below. I thought the differences werent’ that great though between the men and women with dominant andf submissions fantasies going from my memory of seeing this study or similar study in the past. Like submission for women was more, like almost 60%, but men was like almost 50% at like 49 or something. So not that big of a difference. So more women submissive, but men not that far behind. And for dominace it was like reversed with men 60% women either 40 or 50%. So like 60/40 ratio either way, which is fairly close to me, as that’s not 50/50, but 60/40 or 40/60 are pretty close to 50/50 or in the middle range as far as ratios. That says a lot especially considering how romanticized female submission is and how encouraged male dominance is by society. So you’d think it would be more lopsided, but it’s not and makes me wonder if women weren’t socialized or female submissions sexualized as well as male dominance or socialized differently. If it would be about 50/50 between the sexes.
Men were more interested In every sort of fantasy than women were. Maybe that’s what evens it out?
Well you are seeing a lot of social construction throughout. What people tend to see is what they tend to think is natural and normal even if things are very different in other cultures.”
Is it that women and men see men being rough and aggressive so expect or prefer men to be so? I keep hearing how rough sex or women talk about it like they like to be rough too. But it seems like 90% of the time it’s the man being very rough. A woman can be on top, but she rarely conveys this aggression or dominance or going hard like that. I know it’s easier for men to be rough since we’re stronger and perhaps our anatomy below too. But I know it’s not impossibly for a woman to fuck roughly, but more often than not, rough sex almost always has the man on top and in control and dominating and women not so. So I think rough sex used as a gender neutral term is misleading, because it almost is synonomous with male dominantion, and not female domination. I also find it interesting, it must be culture. That female dominance almost more often is seduction based, like having a man serve or basically act a fool ha.
Or degrading himself, but it’s like in a very specofic partifular form, Like there may be bdsm aggression to him with being hit or such, but it’s in a “you’ve been bad” punishment way. Or like cock teasing way. Holding off from sex or making it like he’s going to or he begs or they have sex and she stops him or stops sex just before he orgasms so more mental stuff. There is a definite gender difference with male domination and female dominantion. Like a male dominant might do some teasing or bdsm stuff, but almost most or all have the man ravaging the woman or piston fucking her. Hard pounding, there might be choking, physical. But that’s seemingly quite rare for female dominance, even though I know there are woman who can go quite hard and might be able to fuck a man in a brutal like way. I don’t want this stuff, but I know from being gullible and searching stuff before thinking there would be female dominantion in the way I described male dominance, but could see based on the thumbnails, what was there. I wonder if there’s sexism too underlying based on perceived notions of men’s dicks and women’s vaginas, like this feeling of superiority or something. Because if there is rough sex that’s female dominant….what is it? Yep a woman with a strap on….hmm something phallic. So a woman can only be dominant based on using her sexual power ( sex appeal, the mental dominance, him serving her) you know all that I said. Or if she fucks a man not by her body, her weak sex organ, but the powerful one…Women don’t have dicks, but a strap on mimmics a dick, and thus a phallic symbol. If and when a woman is to dominate through intercourse, she can’t be dominant from her pussy, but only can she be dominant if well using something like a dick, because society sees that as the powerful anatomy. I wonder if a lot of this domination difference is because of these pre conceived notions.
Social constructions certainly affect what people are comfortable with.
I surveyed my students on BDSM. I may have even written about it on this blog. I can’t remember the exact numbers other than that man bought that women were more into it than women were. In terms of men being dominant and women submissive.
I also saw a survey of men and women in Montreal where men and women were almost equally likely to have fantasies about being submissive themselves, with women slightly more likely than men but it was about half of each group as I recall. I wrote about that too. Have to look up the data.
So when it comes to social constructions once you have an idea out there you can turn it around. I will have to look up data on how women felt about men being submissive I think I surveyed them on that. My memory is that they were not so comfortable with it.
Interesting. I wonder why with so many men having submissive desires, not far off from women. Why, despite that, porn and most porn is so lopsidedly male dominant. I means that it’s more than a minority of the male population who likes female domination. Which femdom stuff that’s more like a niche genra. You’d think female dominance would be more mainstream as a result. Not to the extent like male dominance, but more than it is.Do you remember or did it have a survey with men and women as far as results with dominant fantasies as far as men and women fantasizing about being dominant? I’d be interesting to see if there was a big difference with men having fantasies of them being dominance vs women having fantasies of them being dominant.
This was a study of adults in Montreal. Here is the research:
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/how-common-is-your-sexual-fantasy-9835480.html
No, is not cultural, it’s biological. If we talk about animals, people can dispassionately figure this out, but as soon as we talk about humans, suddenly we become all stupid. You can find rape in the animal world.
I don’t know how accurate that is but several points can be made, Regardless:
You don’t find rape among the vast majority of species. In fact it’s very common to find a meeting ritual. Or to only find sex where of the female is in heat and willing. Or to not have sex at all, the egg is fertilized outside the females body.
More importantly humans are not animals. Among humans the rate of rape is correlated with how patriarchal a society is. In gender-equal societies like the Indians of the east coast of the Americas rape was virtually nonexistent. And even in a patriarchal society like ours the vast majority of men don’t rape.
This post poses an interesting perspective into the world of pornography. As we well know, most porn is made to please men and make them feel as if they are all power and definitely the object of women’s affection. I think that the role reversal in porn would be very intriguing to watch, but I assume men would be uninterested in it very quickly. I think the majority of men wouldn’t enjoy seeing the man act sexy and show his junk on screen in a sexy manner. I imagine that men who enjoyed this type of porn would even be construed as gay. Additionally, I wonder what type of men would want to play these parts in porn. Women can pretend to be turned on while men at some point show clear signs of being ready for action…Sadly, I think this sort of display would NEVER be the mainstream, but as the writer said, a sub-genre of domination.
YES! I would love to see gender swapped porn! Lets have realistic women in domineering positions with super hot men eager to please. We need more men giving women head and more female POV porn. I think that this is a super missed opportunity in the porn industry and needs a little attention. also these dominant women should be able to not look like a BDSM fantasy doms. Let them be your normal everyday woman! I think it would boost the porn industries profit considering how many women are now watching porn compared to when porn first became a thing.
Well it would ultimately have to sell to straight men even if more women are watching porn for this porn to streamed. As it’s something that would have to get enough views and interest to make a profit based on people paying or views which free streams get paid by ads from the multiple viewers. Our culture has ingrained notions too though. Even though there are women who like a change up and seeing a woman dominate a man, it’s often in a very confined, feminine way, thus still set divide in masculine and feminine. It’s really the sub genre of femdom where a man is more in a feminine role, though that’s still often in a fetishsized, male arousal gaze type of way. And because of our culture, I wonder or suspect that many women would be uncomfortable with this porn because they could see the male as less masculine and internalize such stuff about men and as a result be a turn off.
Kind of like how, even though women find men sexy. They find it making a man feminine or find it gay or uncomfortable seeing a man posing sexy or in too much of sexualized state because that’s how women are almost always portrayed. So seeing the man in a feminine role. There’s so much left out though or untapped like you said with porn. It seems like that’s crazy talk considering how much fetishes and kinks there are in porn, from benigh silly stuff, to gross stuff to quite extreme stuff and seemingly odd thing in between. But what I find interesting with porn is that it’s really just adding more to usual positions, but just amping the aggression and props, etc. It’s like a movie that’s not any better, but just adding more explosions, but the plot is still the same boring plot. It’s not a think outside of the box plot. I think concepts of sex and what could be fun is how good stuff comes from, it’s the wrong point of view I feel.
Like what peter is bringing up is not just the aspects of how women are used and degraded and pulverized in porn and such. But also spinning sex on it’s head and why women can’t fuck men thru piv sex, and the expression that goes with it and why it’s inherent men are stoic or in the role they usually are without having to go to the whole other femdom side. It seems like instead of some middle part, porn jumps from one end to the other. Think of this. Rough sex is nothing new and never seemed to be. Yet you’d think it was sex specific considering, it seems 95% of the time, it’s male dominant. type rough sex in pornhub, and it will be brutal fucking by the male to the woman and that’s not just mainstream porn, but amateur regular couples. There will be stuff with women riding fast on top but rarely is she aggressive to where it looks or seems like she’s roughly ravaging him,
thoughts geogia?
Well you are seeing a lot of social construction throughout. What people tend to see is what they tend to think is natural and normal even if things are very different in other cultures.
What stood out to me as a cisgender male was how disconcerting the imagery was for me when imagining the gender roles being swapped in porn. To have men be objectified and dominated by women, to have men be seen as mere vessels to the woman’s pleasure and be the center of attention: it all just seemed so unorthodox and strange to imagine in my mind. I think this goes to show how I myself have internalized the patriarchal cultural systems we as a society abide by.
Reading through this post forced me as an individual to recognize the baffling expectations of women in porn; also creating a sense of empathy for the dehumanizing objectification of women that occurs in pornography. As stated in the blog post, if we were to swap the gender roles in porn, “the men would be super-hot, and super-excited to have sex with less attractive women.” I found that this quote really highlighted how egotistical the porn industry’s leaders(producers, photographers, etc.) can be. Consequently, this made me think about how demeaning this industry can be for the women involved. Especially the ones set to star in the films themselves. It’s a vicious industry that preys on beautiful young woman, cycling through hundreds of young women each year.
It makes you have empathy. But I also wonder how this gender divide also hurts men but men don’t even know it, because of this privilege? Like men can be turned on I think, from male privilege and feeling invincible and maybe because how it’s rare for women to be sexually forceful like guys. Like you’ll have guys trivialize a man, though extremely rare, raped by a woman in the drugged, forced sense and see it as less bad. Or like the female teacher having sex with the underage male student and the statuatory rape. Where guys can think and not have any empathy for saiid boy and be jealouse and which they were him or maybe be turned on or wished women forced themselves on them. I can see this male privilege in effect here too, where this porn scenario could be a turn on for some guys…
yes it’s true that due to the fact that masculinity has been viewed to have higher place in society than feminism .it’s more acceptable for women to dress and act manly than for men to do the same .I think part of the problem is that Americans tend to be more judgmental than for example Europeans and we look at a person ,we often rush to label them and put in a category .For example ,its not always that easy for any girl to act or dress more manly because then she has to be a lesbian and if she’s in a relationships ,then she is the one in charge and that comes from the fact that we are used to think that men are more fit to be in charge.I would very much like to see how people would react to switching roles in porn and in order to see the real impact of people’s behavior ,this is new idea should be seeing as part of the new main stream porn and not just seeing as a category of sex that is there to serve those with fetishes .the main outcome of switching roles will be for guys to feel what girls experience when they are objectified and humiliated in porn .it’s an important step toward equality because it will show guys that treating girls the way porn does is harmful and it’s not natural .it’s crucial to educate men that are there is no such thing that you are a guy and there is what you are supposed to do to maintain your masculinity .
“Well there’re some things that are aggressive regardless. there are other things where context makes the difference. One person opening the door for another. It could mean that they see the person they are opening the door for as weak. Or as special. What’s the context?”
I shortened:
-Yeah I think it’s like you said that society and people often attach aggressiveness as a male thing. So that’s what could make a position seem masculine or what men do, not just because more often done by men, but how men and society sees how men are to act and be during sex.
-I think body positions and sex positioning like I described with thrusting and how one is laying down can make a difference with impact and sex which is why people see and I can often see how missionary can more easily be seen as more aggressive and come off that way because of how it enables more a man to pound hard and the effects vs how a woman rides and a man’s position.
But yeah it shouldn’t be seen as feminine or masculine regardless of one being more aggressive as far as position than another position typically. Because missionary often is done more aggressively and something about direct hip thrusts seems more aggressive, it makes sense for a woman to do a position that is the role reverse of missionary (reverse missionary, amazon position), it will look dominant or more so than typical woman on top positions like cowgirl. Perhaps despite this, it’s not a big deal and still plenty of women who don’t see anything wrong or less masculine about it and another position(s) open to try to add further fun in the bedroom or wherever place.
Makes sense.
btw, I won’t be working with my blog much until after Thanksgiving. Hope you have a good one.
thanks. Have a nice thanksgiving
My first thought when I read the question, “I wonder how people would respond if men and women swapped roles? Would it seem funny? Or even ridiculous” was that it would be funny and ridiculous. However, it does seems hard to imagine if they were to swap roles since we are used to the society’s role in gender. Though, if I were to imagine, if they were going to swap roles, I would think that it would depend on what kind of body type people have since most people are between underweight or overweight. I’m thinking that if a guy were to be underweight or just skinny, he has long hair, and he would tie his hair up, it would be easier for him to pull of being a girl in addition of wearing girl’s clothes, but the problem would be how broad his chest would be and there would be problems if he were to wear a skirt. On the other hand, it would be easy for a woman to dress up as a man since their clothes doesn’t really reveal much of the skin. I’m not sure about this though, but this is what I could come with when I think about it.
There probably is porn like that in femdom stuff. I don’t know if Peter meant porn role reversed as in what they dressed as. It would be role reverse as far as the sex objects. Men would be the sex objects and women the one’s ranked above. And the way they have sex. In porn especially, most porn, the man is ultra aggressive and on the edge of violent, and a woman but in positions and roles that can be degrading or for the fact of dominance and getting himself and her pleasure means nothing.
This realm, the women would be banging the guys hard, aggressively and I perhaps positions that would be role reversed in our culture would be the norm in this realm to add to the aggressive fucking from women. Many people are different body types, but just like in porn that has the hot women and that top percent of body types and big tits. I’m sure the men in it will be fit and handsome and adonis, while women average janes. Just like a lot of porn has hot women, but average men or atleast men with builds and looks many women aren’t that fond of.
When men and women swap roles in porn, I’d hope to see a more realistic version of what sex is actually like for a woman. Not the constant pounding and moaning and degrading requests that they are made to do in the current porn universe but a more honest picture of what sex is. Porn culture emphasizes on male dominance and power over the girl. And I say girl purposefully because they always aim to show only younger girls who look just old enough to not make you think of yourself as a pedophile. But yes, this is the industry that so many are obsessed with from such a young age. Boys start to think that that is what it means to sex with a woman when in fact it’s almost never the case.
If women were put in the director’s chairs, I’d hope they showed that sex is not about the woman pleasing the man. It’s not just about his sexual orgasm but hers too. Alot of these porn videos will show a man thumping a woman up until he cums but not the woman and then she’s supposed to be grateful to him for having pleased him and praise him for his giant cock. Where is her pleasure?
I get confused as to where the notion of all of that degrading business became arousing that it was made the norm for porn standards but it has opened a doorway to something entirely sinister. We excuse the dominatrix as milder but there are some extremes in which people are completely and utterly defiled in the name of sexual pleasure.
Granted too if women made porn through my suggestions, we’d probably watch the porn slowly die out and wither away. But who knows, maybe there is a place in this world for a porn industry dominated by women and they take charge and all the torture is left to the men to endure. We’re already too far gone, so why not?
“more honest picture of what sex is. ”
Which brings up a question I have. So what is sex to you or the honest picture of it? I agree that what is typically seen in porn especially the mainstream stuff, is not what real sex is. However I don’t know if it’s all porn from young boys watching. If guys having sex with girls try the moves and go hard like in porn, then yes its easy to see how some porn can influence boys.But I don’t know, couples still can like rough sex and want that and it just be from horniness and passion, and not porn. Let’s not forget regular sex, not even rough sex, it’s not crazy pounding like in porn and couples with mutual pleasure and respect. But despite that, generally guys will still be fairly vigorous in their thrusting, it’s like hard not to with how it feels and the horniness and maybe conditioning too, not from porn, but just how women are sexualized.
So you said what sex is or the honest picture. Is your view of it influenced by out culture and gender expectation too? I bring this up because let’s go outside of porn, but sex generally. More often men still generally do more “work” than women and are on top more or more positions and for more time and more aggressive even if not going in hard “porn manner”. If porn directed by women goes in the way you described, wouldn’t that just as much be women having sex in the “gendered expectation” of how women have sex just like mainstream porn is the gendered expectation of men? If both men and women step back and try different things, the sex can be less of “women having sex this way” men having sex that way and less of a divide and more equal as far as aggression or non-aggression, positions and acts. I’m sure Georgia will respond to you, but she can chime in to this too if she wants.
” don’t. To the extent that people do it could be because they are used to man on top and men in our culture being dominant. So they put the two ideas together, But I don’t think it’s necessary to do so”
But there are sex positions, one called reverse missionary. The same name for whatever reason can be different positions, but the one I’m talking about actually fits the name literally. Where a man is on his back and woman on top. She’s in between his legs though, he can just keep legs down or legs around her calves or butt or back. Or she’s on her knees between him and his legs up and she’s on his thighs kind of. Or pillow propped under his butt , like variations. She can be lying completely on him or more upright, but I don’t think squatting or completely upright though some positions have that is ideal. That would be uncomfortable and could hurt the man as it could bend his dick, but the variations I said would be easier.
But you said that’s not inherently submissive. But in that position, it’s literally reversed PIV and she’s thrusting and more or that and more in control than most or other woman on top positions. There’s a position called the “cowboy”. And yes, it’s the reverse too. Some are like, how does that work? Well I believe the woman’s legs are apart and the man penetrates and once so, she brings her legs together and his apart to straddle hers. He’s thrusting still, but it’s more like he’s in movement and positioning like woman on top “cowgirl” this cowboy.
Ok. Doesn’t seem male or female dominant to me. What do you think.
I’ll answer that in another post, but my first post was a question back. You said neither sounds male or female dominant. So with the positions I explained, does or would a male seem “girly” gay or less masculine having sex in said positions? What’s your personal opinion on that as far as that specifically?
My personal opinion is that it could simply because we are used to it the other way. So as we will see in some upcoming posts my women students were sometimes uncomfortable with male nudity because it seems feminine. But there’s no reason why it should. We have just come to associate nudity with femininity.
And I’ll add this, in case you felt you answered that by saying the positions were neither female or male dominant to you. For example, something doesn’t have to be dominant for people to see a man as acting less masculine. For example, a woman licking or sucking a man’s nipples. I think many see it as something normal that can go with sex, and the act isn’t dominant or submissive, but because women’s breasts are sexualized and the focus and pleasure acknowledged for women to have that done to them. Some may see a man a strange or less masculine for liking it done, even though it can be an erogenous zone for men too. I think it’s stupid to have such a connotation to it, but I realize why or where that perception can come from for men and women.
If you are used to seeing a particular conceptualization of masculinity, And you associate dominance with masculine, switching places can seem dominant even if it doesn’t need to.
Do you feel a man is gay or less masculine though who would try reverse PIV sex. I know you said why society or it could be seen that way, but is that less masculine to you? I don’t think so, but I know why society would think that. Like if you really think about it’s just different body arrangements or different sex motions, and for whatever reason people never thought about it, but just got stuck in their ways of men have sex positions like this and women like that, even though technically either can fuck different ways. Yet it’s easier for women to straddle and ride and more natural probably to get in position like that and same for men in missionary thus why the usual positions, but either sex can fuck similar to each other or different positions.
I feel missionary is often more dominant than cowgirl, and it’s not simply because men penetrate, but maybe because of hoer men and women express themselves differently and maybe socialized to have sex. Men perhaps because of being stronger, but it might be because of socialization and horniness where men typically are more aggressive with fucking on top and “go harder and faster” than women and therefore, when men fuck on top in missionary it’ more “impactful” and harder pounding. Plus women in cowgirl often don’t pound and more “grinding”, which seems “softer” to me than the pounding from missionary or doggy style guys do, which therefore seems more aggressive and as a result dominant. Then you add in body positioning, when a woman is straddling a guy, his legs are straight and its like he’s just lounging. Seriously that’s like the casual position I am when lying down on a recliner lol. I’ve never put my arm or hands wrapped around the back of my head, but some dudes do sometimes. Like nothing looks submissive ha. Like I wrap my arms around the back of my head when lying back on a recliner and relaxing.
The body position and pose is more like she’s giving him a fun ride, whereas’, a woman’s legs wrapped around a man’s back or butt, and he’s thrusting in and out and she’s moaning and like it’s not like a casual ride for her, she’s bouncing from the thrusting and I don’t know something about legs apart is like one seems more in a vulnerable or at least slightly submissive position because they are propping their body to “take something”. She’s taking his dick, he’s dicking her down, whereas often with riding, it can look like she’s still “taking his dick”.
It’s like the same thing, but when a woman is between a man’s legs, and as described, it’s like she’s in that presence for once where he’s taking “her pussy now” And maybe it’s my own male bias of this, but just a position that’s more “thrusty as in up and down and in and out instead of back and forth (grinding is back and forth) and more pounding. I’ve named a term, that might show up on urban dictionary ha. It’s like a dude is getting “pussy-fucked”. Some don’t think women can fuck a man, maybe because they see fucking being synonymous with penetrating, but positions like that role reverse is where woman is like fucking a man with her pussy which is why it could be seen as female dominant, male submissive. Women can dominate from cowgirl and such, but because of anatomy maybe, body position and how men are socialized to express, it seems like she has to be extra aggressive to come off that way, whereas a man doesn’t have to be as aggressive to look more dominant.
I know I wrote more, but it explains my perspective about why it would seem female dominant to me and why male submissive. Maybe just skim through quickly for the overall gist I’m talking about? If too long, let me know I’ll rewrite them. thanks
Please shorten
-Women via how they express themselves vs men (cultural expectation?) seem to have to ride more aggressively especially in usual cowgirl style
-Body position does make a difference in impact I think and how it might feel and look as far as aggression and dominance between positions. Woman on top, a man is legs together and straight, like how you’re positioned when lounging on a recliner ha. Some might even have their arms wrapped around back of their head when she’s riding. He’s not bouncing, jiggling, shook up generally from this position for many reasons as explained and because women are less aggressive? Or socially constructed to be so?
-Man on top, look at the position she is in and difference, the impact from his movement, how legs apart seems more submissive, vulnerable and you aren’t or can’t just relax and have arms behind head and instead position sets up for a hard fucking. When women get in role reversed position, guys have said how it makes them more vocal than usual, the woman can pound on the the man or moreso so than cowgirl or usually and something about “thrusting” just seems more aggressive and dominant. What do you think?
Well there’re some things that are aggressive regardless. there are other things where context makes the difference. One person opening the door for another. It could mean that they see the person they are opening the door for as weak. Or as special. What’s the context?
If the the man opens the door for a woman it could be seen as either her being dominant or him being dominant. One could say he’s bragging about how strong he is (wow! He can open the door). Or, like the President of the United States, the more powerful person has their door open for them.
Same with intercourse. With PIV is he being dominant or is he having to do all the work while she is being served? Or is it just a mutual coming together?””
Well isn’t a woman more vulnerable from PIV sex than the man? You even said why trust is more important for women. Plus sometimes ordering someone around can be dominant and doing all the work submissive or sub servant but I look at the “impact” upon the sex with PIV which is why it can be seen man on top especially the position can be dominating. Like standing or doggy style and pounding her hard or her legs back to her ears pile driving the woman. Even if she orders it, it just seems dominant from the impact and positioning from the sex.
And then with rough sex or it seems many women like that dominance and like admit their submissiveness and can show how PIv can be or why it can be seen as male dominant sometimes. For instance when women brag or talk about the passionate sex with bf, husband or lover they are in love with or strongly attracted to and insinuating the rough PIV sex and him ‘doing the work and doing it hard” made her ‘walk funny” after. Women referancing their pussy (consensually of course) feeling a bit sore from the good hard fucking they got from their man. Ariana grande wrote a song for crying out loud about this bad boy she’s really drawn to and they have so much sex and he bangs her so good, that he got her “walking side to side)/
She’s more vulnerable in some ways, like she’s more likely to get a sexual disease. But if you choose your partners well and use protection the actual act in a trusting situation need to be thought of as male dominant. I never thought of it that way.
Some of the ways you describe doing PIV sounds male dominant, but not the act itself outside of that sort of context.
We also live in a society that eroticizes male dominance which gets unconsciously internalized into our heads so it’s not surprising that some women would find out erotic.
I’m wondering how often women actually do this because I’ve never heard any women talk this way:
women brag or talk about the passionate sex with bf, husband or lover they are in love with or strongly attracted to and insinuating the rough PIV sex and him ‘doing the work and doing it hard” made her ‘walk funny” after. Women referancing their pussy (consensually of course) feeling a bit sore from the good hard fucking they got from their man.
On Ariana’s song I wonder if she would actually like that or if she’s just playing to cultural ideals that you get from hearing meant talk?
To get to my last thought, you said you don’t think PIV sex is not inherently dominant or submissive? You said the one’s I explained in that context could be more male dominant.
But it sounded like you didn’t think sex positions via PIV sex doesn’t make it inherently submissive or dominant. So you wouldn’t think a man on the bottom through PIV sex, but in a role reversed sex position looks submissive or girly or atleast less masculine? I guess that’s good to know for guys not wanting to be pidgeon-holed with what they are supposed to do in regards to sex and positions, etc. It seems like many people, men and women could see it that way with a woman dominant or more dominant in a role reverse on top position and man submissive on the bottom for role reversed sex positions.
So you wouldn’t think a man on the bottom through PIV sex, but in a role reversed sex position looks submissive or girly or atleast less masculine?
I don’t. To the extent that people do it could be because they are used to man on top and men in our culture being dominant. So they put the two ideas together, But I don’t think it’s necessary to do so.
So u believe what Peter described femdom sounds more tame other than phallic stuff used? And what did u mean with not thinking reverse piv sex is dominant? U mean metaphorically or literally? I guess that’s good for guys self conscious bout bringing up with their SO.
I haven’t seen femdon, I just heard it described and it sounds like it’s less hostile and described and it sounds like it’s less hostile and Myrtle. Pirtle hurtful. I don’t see how PIV would make one or the other sex dominant
Well like I said, I’ve come across it out of being naive many years ago. Not watched, but across thumbnail images. Some were disturbing or gross; as in not what I thought I’d see or want to lol Like I said if anyone wants more female aggression or dominance viewing from porn, femdom or female dominance will more likely bring up some bdsm stuff or what was explained ha. Well some see, maybe because it relates to women? Of penetration as dominant?
I don’t know, because I don’t think one is dominant necessarily over the other with heterosexual sex, but then I do see a man being penetrated as in a submissive state (probably think he has atleast bi-curiosities if from a transsexual or a woman using phallic object) (It’s obvious he’s gay or bisexual if from a man) whether it’s a gay man from another man or from a transexual or woman doing it to a man with a strap-on. You said reverse PIV and how you don’t think one is dominant over the other. What I meant with reverse PIV is sex positions via PIV but role reversed positioning. You said you don’t think one become dominant or looks submissive or a difference? Did you know I meant that and still thought that or thought I meant something else?
Well, any particular thing can look a number of ways depending on what notions you bring to it.
If the the man opens the door for a woman it could be seen as either her being dominant or him being dominant. One could say he’s bragging about how strong he is (wow! He can open the door). Or, like the President of the United States, the more powerful person has their door open for them.
Same with intercourse. With PIV is he being dominant or is he having to do all the work while she is being served? Or is it just a mutual coming together?
True things have changed and for the reason you say: “people get bored easily.” That seems to be why it has changed in a more violent and humiliating direction since the immersion experience of Internet porn.”
Which doesn’t seem to always make sense. The only reason this would be it seems is because of our culture where many boys and men learn to want to conquer or dominate, so even if most of what is out there is men dominating women, guys only knowing this way or internalizing it, will just want more extreme male dominance to spice it up. Whereas, you would think when something is redundant or one way, often people veer and want the opposite. I like pizza, but if I worked at a pizza parlor, I’d probably want anything but pizza and people I know who have worked at a pizza shop even if they love pizza, they are interested in other food instead of that. Even if you like man dominating or being in control, it would seem logically that one would lose interest or get tired of it, because it’s so lopsided as far as what’s out there with porn and it mostly or often male dominance and violent and degrading.
I don’t like how mechanical it is and how the women can be treated. But also, it’s just bad sex, because there’s no passion, it’s formalic, one-sided, and always the same script. Like it seems like it would push a person to want more sex that’s neither dominant or some female dominance. I don’t like femdom or whatever I came across from being naive. But women being on top or control is something that seems more attractive, not because I’m submissive, which I’m not. I say balanced is the correct way of it. Submissive and dominant people may want each thing sometimes,but it’s more a blue moon and the preference is usually very strong with one or the other. For me, it’s because of how one sided porn is. I feel if in an alternate universe and the majority or mainstream porn was female dominance, and male dominance rare, I would probably be more interested more in male dominance as long as not violent or degrading like a lot is nowadays.
This sounds much tamer than what Peter was describing. Thanks!
When the PIV is reversed is that seen as female dominant? I personally don’t think it should but if it is I think it says something about the cultural viewpoint”
Yeah I thought it was tamer, the femdom if that’s what you mean, well except if a woman uses a phallic prop which I think femdom on the more extreme one’ can. What did you mean with reverse PIV? Like metaphorically or literally with reversed PIV sex positions? I think many women and men do see it that way just because how sex normally is between men an women and positions. And it does look and I think would feel more submissive for the male maybe because he’s not usually in it or his own ingrained view of sex. And it’s a position where a woman can thrust more and pound more, thus more aggression than usual woman on top positions, so I think feel more power in it and the man or men who’ve commented saying they are more likely to moan more or loud or louder from the feeling they get from it unlike usual woman on top positions.
But it’s good you don’t see it that way and could help men who are self conscious and get in their own heads and who would be scared to want to spice something up with their SO ,but afraid she’s think he’s less of a man or a “bitch” as a result, when maybe it’s a more self conscious, over-over thinking projection by a man. I wrote this shortened version because I thought I’d see your response first and what you mean and can use the longer stuff I wrote to insert if responding to your reply here. So if you can leave the longer posts I just did earlier, but you don’t have to read as I know you want a rest from your eyes, but I can pull some for it in another short post if I need to, to respond back.
And to add In a reverse position like amazon, reverse missionary, the woman pounds the guy hard especially in amateur like porn. And maybe it’s dominant women doing it, but often such clips are more like what peter described as from the hard pounding the guys are more expressive and louder and the woman may be, but not the big difference and often the guy actually moaning more.
I know it sounds gay. But I’ve seen comments where guys would say those positions cause them to make noise which other positions don’t cause. Not mainstream but I think once scene is fairly popular on pornhub regarding it. BG has seen femdom he’s said, If he typed in amazon position on pornhub, he might get what I mean where it’s not femdom, but fucking wise, more dominant and aggressive than typical femdom stuff (minus the phallic use stuff).
If Peter’s porn were a reality, those positions would be the mainstream common ones from the female porn stars ha and something like cowboy position perhaps by the male actors ha. I guess it’s good knowing it may be dominate but nothing bad, because I think straight guys who would want to be dominated or aggressively banged like in said position, might be scared to ever bring up to their SO because being afraid their gf or wife might think they are less of a man. BTW did I click on something or you just changed something because the oldest posts used to be on the top and newest on the bottom and now it’s reversed?
This sounds much tamer than what Peter was describing. Thanks!
When the PIV is reversed is that seen as female dominant? I personally don’t think it should but if it is I think it says something about the cultural viewpoint”
You’re welcome. You mean what I described as femdom sounds more tame than what Peter described? Or reverse positions? That stuff doesn’t seem to be in femdom, but as far as fucking goes, I think that’s more dominant than most femdom excluding where women may use a strap-on on a guy. I believe there is that stuff in the more extreme sense. Were you asking if reverse PIV is seen as dominant meaning a woman using something phallic on a man or reverse PIV sex position? I see the first as obviously dominant because of the position it puts the man in, plus it would be anal sex. But yes reverse positions can be dominant to with PIV sex. The reason is because in some it puts a man in a more vulnerable, submissive state, like surrender state than other positions and sets up for the woman to pound him or harder. I’ve seen woman comment who wanted to dominate how some positions they wanted to do because it would set it up so they can pound their boyfriend hard for once.
Male centric or thru porn makes it seem women can’t dominate thru PIV sex and just hard sex.
Femdom the woman may ride a man tied down, but she expresses herself really not that dominantly still, maybe some, idk, but many I think like you can see the difference with a man fucking a woman and dominance and it’s just not carried thru that way or she has him sub servient, but he ends up dominating her under her command, and banging her hard to orgasm.
In femdom are men treated as hostility and in as degraded a way as in mainstream porn that is targeted to men?
i think the genre already exists ,its called femdom 😊
So have you watched it? Is it as violent and humiliating as what’s described here? Curious. Notably, this (Peter’s post) is reflecting mainstream porn whereas femdom appears to be a small niche genre. That says something doesn’t it?
yes, and i would say yes , especially to the humiliating . your right that its niche and i would guess that kind of role reversal would remain niche due to the demographic that porn is mainly marketed to. 🐴
Thanks for your thoughts on this.
-Femdom,and reflection of society. Women dominate thru sexual power and mind control. And even then with restraints and stuff, it’s just not the same. Women in that stuff I think also may have mind control but at time will still under their control have the sub-servient male fuck her, and pound her. Thus to me negating her dominance and because perhaps of how women and men express differently and maybe more because of gender roles. Even when the woman is on top she could be much louder than the dude.
-The most dominant thing and why I think most would see the man as acting gay and I see that and wonder if bi curiosity But i think an extreme part of femdom is using phallic objects on the man and wonder if this is the culture view of women and ranking of men. The women can’t dominate from aggressive PIV sex on top, but has to mimmick, the symbolically powerful male and phallus thus acting like a male and the man in the position of “a woman”. Women can dominate from their bodies, but I wonder if patriarchal culture has to do with less of of that and when female dominance happens it’s either like I said mind control, sexual power or the man in a woman’s position and her mimicking a man.
-There is an exception though yet ironically not considered femdom, but where women doing aggressive sex in more dominant positions and causes more submissive expression from the male even though PIV and where she may often express more dominance. But this still isn’t literally like Peter wrote as the porn will be showing the woman’s body and other stuff. But I think if this porn were a reality such positions would probably used often and be the mainstream ones.
This sounds much tamer than what Peter was describing. Thanks!
When the PIV is reversed is that seen as female dominant? I personally don’t think it should but if it is I think it says something about the cultural viewpoint
Not the same. A woman has to tie a man up in femdom and humiliate him or make him sub servients or whack him. But she often isn’t fucking his brains out or violently. If she does go on top, because of our culture perhaps, she still can sound or seem submissive because of her being loud or louder than the man, though she’s supposedly dominating him. Or a woman ties the man up and rides or whatever only to order him to fuck her and he goes hard and she’s moaning. Some will say she’s dominant, but to me the “fucker” is dominant if the one on top is going hard, the one being banged, gets the moans/groans/grunts banged out of them and their body bouncing from the pounding.
I haven’t really watched it but being naive have come across or seen thumbnails. Sure a man may be abused, but it him being whacked or hit or torture like stuff. The only aggressive fucking is where a woman might use something phallic on the man and shows our culture. Women can only dominate through sex power, abuse or acting like a man. No wonder it’s rare,a straight man might want dominance, but not where he’s literally put in a female role. What do you don’t see, including femdom is where the woman dominates from from hard intercourse. It can be done, it’s the mindset and attitude which our culture might ingrained in men and women for the difference.. Ironically it’ not considered femdom, but I think would be the closest thing or if this porn scenario happened this would be the positions done probably where it would be like Peter explained.
It wouldn’t be the same because it’s still more men watching, so the view is still on women’s bodies and women making sound, but it seems to make men express more than usual cowgirl or such positions, perhaps because of the dominance of the position, maybe it’s aggressive women doing it or brings a dominant mindset or attitude on the woman banging the guy. The name sure sounds dominant lol, I brought it up to the OP since wonder woman was brought up and it’s relevance to wonder woman. It’s becoming more popular though or I guess always was a kama sutra position. But the amazon position ha, I think kneeling amazon is more practical and would more relate to this porn scenario and reverse missionary/inverted missionary. They are all like similar or same positions though reverse and inverted missionary for some reason can be the same name for different positions. I think reverse missionary is actually the best name or would make the most sense for this one and not how it’s used to mean for different positions.
all good great to read your perspective Bob ☺😎☺
It’s not the same man as I think I know what Peter is talking about. I explained it below, but I’ll shorten the explanation if it’s too much written.
all good , wasn’t that long , I enjoyed the read ☺😎☺
“all good , wasn’t that long , I enjoyed the read ☺😎☺”
I’m just copying your response just so you see what I’m responding to, because I couldn’t reply to your recent response to my response. Anyway, I think people like fantasy can like something but never want to try it or watch something but not want to try it or do a milder variation or version of said sex position or action. But I’m only bringing it up. Well you know how things can go viral or how friends and people can post something or show with their phone that’s funny, outrageous or interesting, etc.That can happen with porn stuff too even though it’s not due to people watching porn, but what is shown because it’s seen as outrageous. I know a guy who wouldn’t watch porn like a porn site but just scroll the porn part of reddit and see the outrageous gifs.
Anyway, it was something that always came to my mind before such stuff showed up on porn even though it’s not technically new. But Georgia, you don’t have to post or I can change it if you need to be. I’m just saying it for if someone wants an example, maybe something they didn’t think before and probably will have mind blown ha. Mind you, I don’t watch much porn, but have seen stuff from friends and then found some interesting and because like Peter says, most porn is violent and degrading and horribly degrading and just not good sex. Yes it makes the dude look like a bitch even though it’s PIV lol, but it’s because it’s an extreme or exaggerated version of such position. But there’s something amazon position with nacho vidal and brooklyn lee, “how a girl fucks a guy the nacho vidal way” . True it’s the female pornstar being able to move unlike many women, but also due to the position. But this would probably be what you see in peter’s reversed version. They say women can ride aggressive, but usually the guy in porn that does or can go like a piston. Well it was crazy, she was going hard like you don’t see women typically able to do or just do. I’d say it was very aggressive and violent. I could see how another dude or some dude could have had a penile fracture from the angle and aggression.
Crazy and right here just brings up another point perhaps that I’m showing how I internalize our culture too and this can backfire with men. Men being ranked and internalize to be invincible or think that you can’t be vulnerable can perhaps be like sexism men can put on yourself or men and backfire. I wouldn’t be nonchalant in talking or in regard to porn where a man goes hard on a woman and say how another woman could be hurt from the man’s aggression. Mind you the porn I’m talking about is consensual, but just bringing up the fact how it’s unusual aggression and what could happen from it. It’s like how men can be outraged about a man raping a woman, but think either a man can’t be raped by a woman or he’s fine, etc. I’d hate to be that (thought very rare) boy or man who has been raped by a woman and it’s traumatized him, but everybody and guys saying it’s not bad or he should suck it up because he’s a man.
As many others have mentioned, there are many pornos that have the roles reveresed (BDSM). Many people that par-take in BDSM or enjoy watching it are very hush hush about it. Usually the men are blindfolded or disguised one way or another. This could be because of how “degrading” and “weak” the men are portrayed. There probably are a lot of people that are into it, but may be too ashamed to admit it due to the backlash they might get from others. Something else to think about when talking about having the roles reversed is arousal. I’ve heard plenty of times that a penis is not as attractive compared to female body parts. Watching a video that is basically a penis shot may not have the right affect on the audience as the producer might want.
I wonder if the role reversal in BDSM goes to the extent of what Peter was talking about in this post? Seems like it might be tamer.
I think I know what he’s talking about. I wrote something first that partially answered this. Check my shorter post under the response you had to MB, which your response to MB was “May be able to find it? Interesting. But also interesting that it’s so rare that there’s uncertainty about its existence”. Not the long post, ignore that but there’s a shorter one right under it, which you did approve. Read that and then to add to that.or relation to it. Having come across or seeing an ad pop up before like that, and my sense of it. I believe that bdsm stuff, to me, I always found interesting and I think perhaps a reflection of patriarchy too which is ingrained and people who practice might not even realize the difference.
For example, there’s that stuff like fifty shades of grey where the man is dominant and it’s bdsm stuff. But for example, sex and porn doesn’t have to use restraint or commands or anything and just rough sex for the male to be and look dominant. Part of the physical size and strength a man has as well as his appendage, but also I think how a man perhaps more often expresses himself too so which further bring it out and on the other side negates when women in porn even bdsm try to be or look dominant and not fully coming across that way to me. Which makes me think of hierarchy and culture, because when a woman is on top in such porn even bdsm, she expresses herself whether simply maybe being vigrous but “grinding” instead of going up and down or moaning loud despite being the one who’s fucking or supposed to yet the dude is lounging back arms crossed, and fairly quiet, so it like negates this feeling because I think women internalize how they feel and express more than men and maybe sub conscious to where it feels natural and same for men in not expressing how they feel or letting go. Sometimes it is where the woman is acting strong and dominant. But it seems female dominance is through a male centric lense.
Thanks for filling in the details here. I agree with this: often ” it seems female dominance is (understood) through a male centric lense.”
I don’t think that type of porn would penis focused. Straight main stream porn, shows the vagina in depth but that’s in relation to penetration. Like Men like looking at boobs and ass more than the vagina by itself. And the ironic thing, because of penetration being a focus and the male pleasure being a focus. Oddly enough straight porn, shows an awful lot of close up dick shots despite it being for straight men and because of the reasons. The man and the dick is the prop which is why it’s shown close up.
For men to envision I guess being that man fucking the woman or feeling the pleasure from a blow job. So if anything, if reversed it would probably be women’s vaginas close up shot whether in humiliation sense and forcing it on a guy’s face or for women too perhaps envision being the woman banging the guy hard. If anything the visual stimuli I think would be the man’s chests and butt, because those body parts though not fetishsized, are often found sexy or sexually attractive by women unlike the penis. So I could imagine those could be the body parts that would get the focus and be fetishsized if men were sex objects and where the camera POV would often go to and not his dick.
Not the same thing. There’s bdsm stuff, but how much does the woman really come off as rough and actually ravaging him and it expressed that way? More often the dudes aren’t really that much more expressive than amateur porn stuff, so doesn’t seem really that role reversed or dominant from the persepctive of noise goes and fucking. Plus it’s more often about mind control and humiliation for female dominance. How much femdom has a woman pounding a man’s dick like as other positions different form cowgirl? Like inverted missionary, amazon position, kneeling amazon or “‘clasping” or swimming positions, or pussy cat control?
Hey Bob, haven’t heard from you in a while. What’s up?
While reading this blog post, the first thing that came to my mind was the fact that it is by “Peter”, and “Peter” is the main character in the Adult Swim series, “Family Guy”. (I’m going to side track a lot here, but only for the purpose to being another point of view on this same topic) In Season 12, Episode 3 of the series, Quagmire, one of Peter Griffin’s closest friends, gets tied down to a woman who is exactly like him. Sonja, Quagmire’s girlfriend, is his exact twin, having the same sexual appetite that Quagmire always had in the series, fantasizing about nearly everything, until things get a bit wild. One day, Sonja uses public humiliation on Quagmire and even kidnaps him, and is then labeled as a crazy female dog. What this brings it back to, tied to this blog, is that not only men would look as the weaker sex if roles were switched in porn, but women would also seem outrageous and out of their minds.
The sexual appetite that men naturally carry in the bedroom has to do a lot with the fact that they are almost always the dominant sex, and being the submissive one would be a turn-off for them, and would probably even make them feel a little uncomfortable. Especially if another man were to tune in to watch a good video, only to find out that the victim was one of their own kind.
Interesting! Thanks for relating all this back to the TV series.
This makes a great point. What if men and women did switch roles in porn? From my perspective I don’t think people would watch it as much as they do, due to the fact that the man is the one now being submissive. I think that especially men would not be as aroused as they get because they see themselves as more dominant. So watching that on screen would probably turn them off or they may see it as a joke. Its part of their ego. But in truth I guess it just depends on the own individual. But in my mind I feel that it would be very unusual only because the norm of today is what it is. That is the girl being the one, as said in the article complaining that they are being used only for sex and the man wanting praise for being able to bang any girl passing his way. Girls are known to feel more less of a person after sex sometimes, and this could be true for men as well. So to see the roles reversed it might be for women more of empowerment because of who is in control in these sex scenes. Imagine being a women and being able to be in control of something where the world thinks that men should have the most control, would definitely make some men feel overruled, even if it is a pleasurable moment for them.
Thanks for adding your thoughts to the conversation.
The idea is actually pretty funny to think about because it demoralizes men the way women are in porn. Women are always seen as just this thing to have sex with in porn and a video like this might actually change the views of people. Porn has been known to influence men in particular because it affects the way they view relationships. Problems arise when there is no communication and the male seems to think that its okay start doing things that he saw in a video without consulting his partner first. So a video like this might actually be pretty helpful because it might actually change someone’s view on women.
Thank you.
It could also help some maybe jump out of their gender box for a moment and feel they can express themselves how they want or more so if seeing things in a different light. Men perhaps wanting to feel the high of being a sex objects during sex and women in a more power role. Yes there is stuff like that already, but it’s not just what’s done, but how either sex may internalize and feel how they are supposed to express themselves during sex whether sounds or positions or actions.
Yes, right.
Once you see it reversed and imagine that, more questions come up in this scenario. Men’s dicks aren’t usually found attractive, so I don’t think or could see how they would be a focus from a visual stimuli sense even if men were sex objects and female values ranked above in this hypothetical realm. It actually wouldn’t seem much different as far as what stimuli is for men. Common body parts women seem to find sexually attractive are men’s chests and butts, but they aren’t fetishsized or sexualized to get turned on by in casual context or from being shown. But it would seem they would be the body parts if men were sex objects and bodies sexualized where they would be the focus in this reversed porn.
In main stream porn, a lot of the scenes are blow job heavy and why women also don’t like most porn is little on the cunnilingus, but yet a decent focus on women’s breasts. It’s funny thinking of that reversed but literally if the porn was reversed based on that, that’s how it would be. A lot of cunnilingus, a big part of it on that, little or none with blow jobs, but attention on the guy’s chests. The more you see the elements on regular porn and spin it, the more you may acknowledge whats wrong with mainstream porn, but also see the humor of if it is the other way. Perhaps the humor because of men not being sex objects and how we rank men above women, so anything women do or done to women, will be seen or could be seen as either feminine or less masculine by people.
Gender bending makes for some eye opening perspectives
If you explore a bit into femdom subject of BDSM, you may find porn that is done the way you described. Where men are hardly raped and physically tortured. Moreover, there are many men who crave it.
May be able to find it? Interesting. But also interesting that it’s so rare that there’s uncertainty about its existence
That’s mind control stuff and if the dude is raped, it’s probably use of a phallic attachment. That stuff is also I think is mind control, humiliation related more often and even when a woman is in mind control she may still get “drilled” by the man serving her. She still can be loud and moaning. So there still are submissive aspects too. I don’t recall most porn, including femdom where a woman is fucking the guys brains out making him make noise and being the one in control emotionally and pussy-fucking him. Well most anyway, there might be more stuff that are getting noticed but not a concept or definitely not a mainstream concept.
So men like watching male dominant porn, and the market responds.
And women like watching female submissive porn like 50 shades of grey, and the market responds.
I guess everything is right in the porn world then. Nothing to see here, move along, move along.
No, you completely missed the point. The pattern you just mentioned is exactly what you would expect to find in a patriarchal domination culture that women and men unconsciously internalize. What’s interesting is what you see – that had been invisible – when you flip genders.
Yep. It’s not men inherently like watching male dominance porn, but just ingrained in them at a young age. It crafts or sets it up when boys see it at a young age and then that’s what they get accustomed and want. So market research results see in the first place. Boys are kind of groomed into porn like this, plus it’s the easy and lazy way for the porn industry to sell it without being creative or extra work. Just show tits and ass and how women and have them banged hard, like the men are robotic pistons and thats it. Just have the same ingredient for most of these porn scenes, but just different women and costumes, but same positions, same pounding, and ever so aggressive and ever so redundant, No wonder not just women don’t like most porn, but many men are starting to see not just the bad side or porn, but how boring it is. I don’t believe it’s lopsided like that. Men might prefer more dominance than women, but I don’t believe it’s biological in the sense of the disparity. I believe the differences there are, are closer than that. The fact that real couples and sex in the bedroom is not lopsided with dominance like in mainstream porn displays that.
Though I think that can be part of culture too. But seriously people are complex and intelligent beings get bored easily and have a nature to explore, be curious and like different things unless they are influenced consciously or sub consciously to feel ways about sex. I believe that’s why many men may like typical aggressive,, male dominant porn because of this. Just think of it like this. I like steak, I like steak a lot, but despite that, I don’t fucking want steak every night and would get quite tired of the same damn thing a majority of the time. It seems human nature for people to like variety, so if anything that would suggest it’s natural for men to have interest in the opposite and submission stuff sometimes along with domination and women domination to be the variety to submission. Just things about humans often shows how a lot of people even if they prefer something, they like to try different stuff and something that’s the opposite to spice things up,so that doesns’t just apply like in real life, but I’m sure visually too with what they would watch too. For it to be lopsided suggests more so ingrained influence than inherent preference.
“It’s not men inherently like watching male dominance porn, but just ingrained in them at a young age. It crafts or sets it up when boys see it at a young age and then that’s what they get accustomed and want.”
True things have changed and for the reason you say: “people get bored easily.” That seems to be why it has changed in a more violent and humiliating direction since the immersion experience of Internet porn.
To be frank, I do not think I will enjoy it that much. I have never really enjoyed an extremely rough sex and I preferred an easier going theme where no one is dominating each other but understanding and taking care of each other. However, this makes me think what would happen if men were treated the same way many women were treated in porn. It would surely be something new to everyone and would make some men who prefer that kind of porn realize that they should treat women with more respect when having a sexual intercourse. The question of whether someone will like it or not, I do not know. But it would be fun to see both males and females’ reactions to it. At the end, I cannot picture what it would be like to see women dominate men in such a way because it is so rare for me.
Thanks for your thoughts on this. Helps to see why women might not enjoy it so much, doesn’t it?
This blog is very interesting. If men swapped places with women in porn it will set off a new tide. I think the reason why porn always focus on woman not man， because porns are always serve for men, and they want to show their power in the porn. I don’t know about gay video， but might have some porns in GV that man is the noisy sex, and can looks sissies？ If this works for man with man’s porn, people might can accept man swapped places with woman.
Yep. That’s the sort of thing you get in a patriarchy. (And “patriarchy” and “men” are two different things. Both women and men unconsciously internalize patriarchy and re-create it. Both women and men who are against inequality fight against it.)
The poster might be right that it’s not impossible for some women to find or his if things were reversed in our culture for women to like porn like this. And the reason being is like the poster said with gay porn and there’s going to be a male in a submissive role with that or probably noisy and as you had in a post before. There are women who watch and like gay porn
That’s true.
This article was interesting to me because after I read, it gave me a different view of how men would feel if the role was changed. I think most men will understand the physical and emotional aspect that most woman goes through on a day to day basis. Most guys in this world, not all only view woman as just a sex object or just a phase of there life. I think this article gives men a shoe to put themselves in and to appreciate a woman more than just what society for years are portraying them to be. If a woman dominates a man, most men will resist because naturally, men have more strength and physical advantages. Men dominating a woman is easier than a woman dominating a man. However, the most critical point of this article is the fact that it gives both women and men a reason to relate and to understand the feeling of being used for a sex object.
Yes, exactly: “the most critical point of this article is the fact that it gives both women and men a reason to relate and to understand the feeling of being used for a sex object.”
“It’s actually really hard for me to imagine all of this, “… Men don’t have the goods to carry it off no matter how hard they try
Well, using your imagination anyway can be enlightening to understand more how others perceive and experience things.
I’m curious what does “goods” mean? Like body or body parts? As a straight man , yeah it’s easy for me to see as women having the goods and myself not so much. But idk perhaps if men were in a state where they were sex objects and women ranked above men, maybe men’s bodies or body parts would be seen as goods or really sexualized thus not impossible for porn where men’s bodies are the focus of visual stimuli
I think we’ve largely socially constructed the “goods.” But regardless, the point is to ry to put yourself in another’s perspective. Gender-flipping helps reveal things that would otherwise be invisible.
This idea actually sounds kind of comical and outlandish to me, but that’s only because I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about how weird it is that men treat women like this in porn. I feel like the examples given here depict the main stream genre of directed pornography, which is often times a more violent and ridiculous form of porn than something a little more amature and natural. Thinking of men in these situation however, brings to light the problems with the industry and highlights how negative the treatment of the actors/ characters is. It’s not that I couldn’t see that before, but it’s that it just seemed less weird to me that women do more of the moaning and pleasing in porn. Honestly, seeing a man do the same thing might turn many people off but all of the poor women who watch porn have to deal with the fact that many of the videos are targeted towards men so the focus of the video is often times placed on the female actor.
It’s interesting how gender flipping can help us to see things that can be invisible.
If there were people who might be interested in that then the porn industry would have already exploited that to make profit. There are so many different kinds of porn to catter every single kind of fantasy from vanilla to some very twisted things but interestingly enough they have not done anything like what’s described in the post.
Porn industry makes a lot of research on what people actually so they could use that so they must know that no people would be interested in seeing something that would resemble a gender swap porn otherwise they would have already done it
I think it shows how uncreative they are. There may be a ton of fetishses and different stuff but I think they are based on extreme stuff or body parts. So I think a reflection of our culture. I think boys grow up with the porn and they are just happy seeing naked tits and sex. They like it since they are easy to please and as they get older, they just grow to like that porn and since most porn is like that they grow to get accustomed to or want to see porn like that or more extreme.
But it’s not popular because mainly this porn would not be geared toward men but women. As straight men don’t want to see men’s bodies and want to hear women’s sex sounds or more so than the man. Since women watch much less porn than men this isn’t an interest like most porn isn’t for women. And men’s bodies aren’t fetishsized or sexualized to where men are sex objects. If men were, who knows this porn wouldn’t be so rare perhaps and if women were ranked above men.
So… You never heard of BDSM Peter? There’s tons of porn out there like this.
The post did say not like those niche fetish dominatrix genres. There may be a lot but they still are a niche and not mainstream , plus different . And the dominance I think more about restraint and mental dominance. Like typical porn the dominance is really in regards to rough sex
This blog was very interesting to read because a lot of the things the Peter says is very relatable. If men swapped places with women in porn it will be a completely different story, men would feel like they lost their masculinity. The women would be in charge telling the men what position they want, the loud yeller, ect. In porn i’m assuming the men over exaggerate to the max and it shows they are in charge while the women listens, imagine it the other way around, not your average porn, something different, depend on the person watching it and how they feel about it. If porn is usually focused on the men’s penis then the opposite will be the ladies vagina, the women would be going hard while the men would make moaning sounds acting like if he’s enjoying it. It seems a little strange that way but maybe other people would want to see that or not.
Thanks for your thoughts on this Rose. 🌹
Yeah, luckily today’s lecture is on sex!
what a coincidence. It would be funny if a female student said she wouldn’t mind this version or it would be a lot better than what there is ha
I like the pictures lol, it does make sense or adds to this blogpost though. Perhaps some of your students might comment on this post, but I’m curious to what they said if anything when this post was brought up. Any of the male or female students make a comment or have questions? Any eye brows raised? ha. Anyway, I think this would definitely be porn not for the male straight viewer like most main stream porn is not for women. I’m sure the visuals would be all on the male body or body parts while the woman’s body would just be the prop for straight women to imagine being that woman, but the visual stimuli and focus on the male body. So with what’s already been stated with the other stuff, to add to that, in reality, straight men would not like or be interested in seeing dudes bodies and little of the woman’s.
I think it’s an interesting post and would be good to see what the male and female students thought and their comments on this realm. Is it weird? Cool? Hot? gay? silly? Would be interesting if a difference based on the sex of the students or their personality or political leaning with more conservative female students seeing it weird or more liberal ones kind of interesting. Thus how much is internalized according to the students deciding their reaction.
Good point.
As usual, a fascinating aspect on sexuality. I like it and I agree.
As I see it, certainly society’s nurturing is mostly to blame on a number of levels. Virtually all early carnal “education” comes after puberty in the form of peer pressure (kids teaching kids), some cartoons even in prepubescence, and many movies, but virtually nothing from parents besides ,consciously or unconsciously, setting a patriarchal stage perpetuated through centuries of male dominated religion. According to the many unenlightened men who wrote the “holy books,” that’s the way the gods want it. Thus, in a sense, it’s all hereditary (society wise, not genetically for the most part).
However, on this and other subjects, this is my favorite quote:
My bottom line is that men and women should enter a sexual relationship under the greatest of all tenets, give (as opposed to “do”) unto one’s partner as one would have the partner give to you.
I firmly believe that mutual respect should be strongly encouraged in children before they reach puberty and learn “their sexual roles” on their own. Unfortunately, the forces aligned against any wide spread effort make it, I believe, virtually impossible.
I agree. I really like this: “men and women should enter a sexual relationship under the greatest of all tenets, give (as opposed to “do”) unto one’s partner as one would have the partner give to you.” Thanks!
Somewhere there is no doubt a producer manning a set of videos exactly like this.
Should be interesting!
We should sponsor a porn company to make this.
Ha! Yeah.