Category Archives: psychology

Elliott Roger Blames Women For Patriarchy’s Problems

Elliot Roger

Elliot Roger

Women have control over which men get sex and which men don’t. Feminism is evil.

And so Elliot Roger blames women for his own problems — and for problems created by patriarchy — as he justifies his sad, horrifying, screwed up human hunting spree.

But then, if everyone else weren’t to blame, he would have to feel bad about himself.

Ironically, patriarchy — and not feminism — is the source of the particular problem he cites above.  Read the rest of this entry

Anything Good About Being A Sex Object?

cans1When I ask my students if they can think of anything good about being a sex object they think there must be something positive, since so many women put a great deal of effort into being sexy, with some aspiring to “sex symbolness.” Here’s what they say:

Sexy women get attention. They feel attractive and admired, so it’s a source of self-esteem.

It’s nice to feel wanted and desired. It’s easier to attract mates or just get sex.

It can be fun to feel sexy.

Sex is a historic source of power for women. Sexiness can gain women resources, whether through marriage or getting men to do favors. It puts women in control over men.

Then I ask if there’s a downside. More comments:  Read the rest of this entry

Don’t Be Kind To Everyone

By Sandra Arias

novoiceWhat did your parents teach you that you won’t teach your kids?

A young woman answered, “My parents always told me to be kind to everyone. I won’t teach my children that. It’s not always good to be kind to everyone.”

She was so young, but she knew this. Why did it take me so long to learn?

That’s from Debra Anna Davis’ piece, “Betrayed by the Angel.”

It takes me back to a time when I too was young, shy, and intimidated by boys. I didn’t know why I was a target. I was polite, spoke when spoken to, and never caused a scene. I thought being a good girl would keep problems at bay. But it made me weak.

I am a different person today.

If only I had known then what I know now.  Read the rest of this entry

Under Patriarchy Women Can’t Eat

anorexia_gene-4-26-11By Victoria King

Under patriarchy women may not be allowed to vote or hold public office, own property, or make choices that stray from their husbands’ inclinations. In the modern Western world we don’t have those problems anymore. But in modern patriarchy we can’t eat. Well, we can eat a little. But not too much. The current ideal that is slapped all over billboards and fashion mags is thinner than is healthy.  Read the rest of this entry

Porn: Making Men Want What Women Don’t 

movie-director

Did the porn industry figure out that by creating male yearnings for things women don’t like, they could make more money?

Sometimes it seems like it.

It would make sense: If porn is the only place guys can get a lot of what they want, you keep ‘em coming back for more.

Sure, some women are up for pornified sex, whether enthusiastically or not. But an awful lot aren’t.

Dr. Robert Jensen, a University of Texas professor and feminist who lectures on pornography says women constantly ask him what they should do when their partners want things they find upsetting.

And I’ve given my students surveys to compare women’s and men’s sexual preferences. Here’s a small sampling of what I’ve found (more later!):  Read the rest of this entry

My Experience with Sexual Assault: The Epitome of Common

SexualAbuse2By Alexandra Greene

I have been sexually assaulted three times in my life.

I am sharing my story not because it is fun, but because it is the epitome of common. I hope to help others who have been hurt, and who might be at risk for further harm.

Around age seven, fresh off the tails of my parents’ messy divorce, I became close friends with a neighborhood girl just a few years my senior. I was vulnerable and in need of guidance. Over the next six years I hung on her every word, and believed she wanted the best for me.  Read the rest of this entry

Why Guys Think They Almost Got Laid

A man with Marian, the librarian

A man with Marian, the librarian

You walk into the library and there is an attractive woman behind the counter. You check out books or get a library card and you dare to “connect” with the librarian by chatting a bit about something other than books.

Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, in this scenario, the guy might think that he just almost had sex. He thinks that he not only could have her but that he almost did. That isn’t, of course, how the librarian probably views it. She is just doing her job.

That’s Male Sexuality Myth # 3 as Jerry Stocking described it at The Good Men Project. Jerry’s a spirituality author and blogger who helps people eliminate fear, stress and worry. He thinks Myth #3 distracts from reality and real relationships.  Read the rest of this entry

Did You Score Last Week? 

couple in bedHow many times did you have sex last week?

If you are a 20-something American, the longer your relationship the more times you probably “did it.”

Sociologists, Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker studied young US adults for their book, Premarital Sex in America. Among other things, they wondered how often couples had sex.

Check out these numbers: 63% of couples who had been together at least four months got it on at least twice a week. That number bumped up to 72% if they’d been together seven months. After a year, 80% got laid at least once a week.  Read the rest of this entry

Do Women Objectify Men?

Men in thongs

Men in thongs

When I talk about objectification, every now and then someone — it may be either a man or a woman — protests that:

  • Women do it too!
  • Women check out men!
  • Playgirl exists!
  • Young girls love teeny-bopper Tiger Beat
  • Etc.

Do women objectify men?  Read the rest of this entry

Girls Hit On Guys Like (Some) Guys Hit On Girls

Luckily, most men already know that when approaching a woman you’re interested in, the best move does not involve leering, catcalling, groping or acting the know-it-all.

Here’s a video for those who don’t. Reversing sexual come-ons:

Also, The Guardian’s Leah Green reverses gender roles in London. Each gender-flipping encounter is based on real experiences women have tweeted about on @EverydaySexism, a project chronicling women’s everyday encounters with sexism.  Read the rest of this entry