Sexy Men Can Seem Gay

Men in Speedos. Sexy? Or gay?

Men in Speedos. Sexy? Or gay?

Imagine men in Speedos plastered all over billboards, drawing your attention to this product or that.

Sexy? Or does it seem kind of gay?

A lot of women think it seems kind of gay. But why is that?

“Sexy” and objectified images are almost always meant for the male gaze in popular culture.

So when a woman sees something sexy or objectified, she’s grown used to thinking (unconsciously) that it’s meant for the male gaze.

So as she views a sexy man from this male perspective, it will seem gay.

When sociologist, Lisa Wade, attended Tale of the Cocktail, an expo themed “Seven Deadly Sins” illustrated lust this way:

What lust looks like

What lust looks like

Interesting that what is thought to be sexy to straight men is defined as “sexy” for everyone, she says, adding:

Thought Experiment:  If nearly naked men had been dancing in those columns, do you think the audience would have thought “hot men for the women!” or “how gay!”? I think many, if not most, would have thought “how gay!”

A female gaze that validates women’s sexual subjectivity and the sexual objectification of men is simply less accessible for both women and men.

I think if men were dancing in the columns, an objectifying male gaze would still be at play, except this time the gaze would have been aimed at men.

Sounds about right.

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on October 28, 2015, in feminism, men, objectification, psychology, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 59 Comments.

  1. So I was catching up on your blog posts and decided to revisit this one. I was surprised to see how many comments continued to arrive & over time. So what is the most replied to post of 2012 or 2013, 2014 or 2015? This particular subject clearly needs to be delved into more deeply. Which blog entries have the most comments? Top 10? What subjects gather the most response? I don’t really need a reply but I think we all might like to know what subjects have motivated your readers to participate in a dialog.

    • Well, here are a list of the most commented-on posts, which I got from WordPress stats:

      Post Comments
      Men Who Hate Pretty Women 388
      Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing 360
      Who Falls In Love Faster? Men or Women? 342
      Can Relationships Survive A Threesome? 327
      Women Learn the Breast Fetish, Too 214
      Real Women Competing With Porn Stars 188
      About 157
      Does Provocative Dress Ever Cause Rape? 155
      Why Women Dress Sexy 149
      Women Seeing Women as Sexier than Men 147
      Do Women Objectify Men? 142

      They are largely based on Google. People type a question into their URL and end up on my blog, and these are the posts at Google is most likely to direct them to. In turn, they are the most likely to end up in my top 10 (since I only post three times a week, most of my top 10 come from Google). So people are more likely to see these posts — and then comment on them.

  2. I feel that culture and stereotypes are ruining the beauty of women and men. In this case men, I have friends that they show their “macho” wearing clothes that make them feel powerful. And there are some other people, like my cousin that dresses like a Ken. Even though Ken is male, he is still a figure created by the view of the perfect men that a women wish for. But in the eyes of the GI Joe guys, they are effeminate not showing what a true men looks like. And they associate these type of men with faggots and insults them. A true men can dress as it likes, same as women. But we get judged at same, girls who dress like men are called lesbians tomboys and guys who dresses not so “macho” as sissies. It’s a crazy world :/

    • Interesting to write on this in terms of G.I. Joe and Ken dolls.

      I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of grown-ups (Women and men alike) would look at the Ken doll and think of him as seeming sort of gay.

  3. What if men were in dresses & heels and not speedos? I do believe women have the better body shape to be sexy. Not sure how guys can be sexy in this culture so tied to male dominance.

    • Maybe women have a better body shape for it? And maybe we have just been socialized to see things that way? Hard to say when you are inside the box. But I think that men’s butts and legs are just as sexy as women’s. But we sure don’t act like they are.

  4. This is really interesting and funny. I’ve never thought too hard about this before, but I do agree, the male gaze does seem to render any “sexy man” to “so gay!”. It’s interesting how much of seeps into people’s unconscious pespectives. The other day I saw a commercial for one of those fancy athletic watches that keep track of your calories/heart rate/miles ran etc, and the athletic guy was running in these really tiny shorts. I was a little wierded out at first because media usually paints “guys in super shorts” as “gay” or “awkward”. I actuallu don’t know why I was wierded out; I’ve seen quite a lot of men wear shorts like that when I jog or in marathons. Then I spent the rest of the time admiring his legs ( and objectifying this man)–they were damn great legs, so beautifully defined and muscle-y. I was envious of those legs. After the commercial, I actually realized what I was doing and how I was thinking about him. It was definitely an eye opener for me.

    Maybe we need more Magic Mikes.

  5. Hi, one more comment this issue is frustrating to me… I have two boys and one daughter – all teens. American society needs an upgrade to larger thinking. My son is a cross country runner, in his school and many, male runners are teased for being gay. It is hilarious to me. It is one of the most physically and mentally grueling sports in high school. It’s year-round. The average GPA for his senior class of runners is 3.8. BUT.. they are the most fit and they are not big.. or muscular… or loud. So society labels them.

    I have tried to raise my kids to reject ridiculous constructs and ideas. I am sure I am in the minority of parents who say we follow only the good rules and ideas. I also teach them to like what they like and that someone’s sexuality is only that person’s business. I have been called liberal.. um ok, thanks another label.

    I am hopeful that over time, we can just be individuals. Handsome men in tiny speedo’s are gorgeous, it’s so simple. haha.

    • And that’s a newer thing. That didn’t happen when I was in high school or college. I wonder if it’s because the shorts are shorter for aerodynamics, but back when I was in school everyone wore shorts about that length.

      It can be pretty strange the way symbols change from time to time. And pretty sad that there are still so many people who are insecure with themselves or their sexuality that you get this kind of comment.

  6. “He’s pretty darn hot here. Just not as eroticized as the female form, Or as allowed to heighten the eroticization thru his bodily movement.”

    But you see how his shorts are pretty small, and yet he doesn’t look gay or he doesn’t look gay. And it doesn’t get in the way of women ogling him? I think it’s because of the cut, something about speedos, maybe make people think of panties or something or how they are shaped, where it looks gay. Whereas trunks that are not much more covered than speedos, but just a little to the leg more and how it makes more of a different of it being masculine. Interesting huh? I think it’s the same reason like I said many women don’t find me wearing under wear briefs sexy, but don;t mind and like boxer briefs.

  7. Interesting how the standards shift, when the one being objectified or use for sexual purposes- is a man. We have grown accustomed to seeing images of women in limited articles of clothing- our brains automatically identify women models, existing only for the enjoyment of and pleasure of men. When a man is modeling, with limited articles of clothing, the question about his sexuality comes into play. We never question a women’s sexuality or who she is attempting to be attractive for. A man has to fight the stigma of “being gay” if you are a model, who chooses to take photos- with little to no clothing. Similar to a man that is “well groomed”, has to fight the stigma of being gay- men are not supposed to be self aware and conscious of their looks, says society. Double standards exist for both men and women, only difference being- women are effected negatively by double standards, while men deal with minimal backlash.

  8. I found this topic very interesting and it reminded me of a similar topic that goes hand in hand with this. In my first couple of years at University I was a cheerleader and we would attend nationals in Daytona Beach every year during sprint break. I would assume all the “sexy” guys on the beach were cheerleaders (99% correct) and that they were gay. This touches on that if a guy does something too feminine or show off-ish that society usually writes those people off as gay. I tend to think the same sort of thing of male models. Which it is very interesting to think why is that? When I see female models I don’t automatically think they are gay.

    I was reading in one of the comments above and a lot of people were bringing up the point that men control a lot of the media which would explain how women are just sexy yet men are gay if they are sexy. We are seeing media from a straight mans point of view.

  9. I love your post but I am also bothered. Here is why, the human body can be a beautiful thing, male and female. It’s a great topic to discuss and it makes me see how simple-minded and indoctrinated we are as an American society. If you pictured the sculpture of David, would people think he was gay? I mean he is completely naked, gasp! Come on people. A human is a human is a human. A persons sexuality has nothing to do with their form. That we as people, can accept that nude women are beautiful and nude men are deviant is preposterous. It’s time to stop being infantile. How about we let go of it and see what we see.
    Some of the women are likely gay, but for some crazy reason they same people can’t accept that in men. Maybe objectification of anyone is really not okay.

    • I’m bothered for the same reason as you.

      And I don’t think that objectification is good for anyone.

      By the way, because this is all symbolic context matters. So probably no one would look at the sculpture of David and think he looks gay. The sculpture is within the context of fine art, which has a very different meaning for men walking around in Speedo’s in America. And men walking around in Speedo’s in parts of Europe has a very different meaning: sexy and not gay.

      In the US sexy men need to be portrayed in a very narrow context to be seen as sexy and not gay. You might be interested in looking at this post: Do Women See Sexy Men As Sexy? https://broadblogs.com/2013/07/16/do-women-see-sexy-men-as-sexy/

  10. I think we’re just still accustomed to , ( probably unconsciously ) seeing a female image being on exhibition as a tool for entertainment purposes or coursion for what ever the media is trying to portray as sexy or sell , not usually a male . Even though we are seeing more male images being used as sexual objects in media now . Maybe people also see a woman’s body image as more beautiful than a male , so that it captivates our attention more , whether your male or female . Men are supposed to be the strong silent type , and more the dominant feature , or the one in charge , not the one whipping off all their garments and prancing around in their speedos , not to mention usually with most of their body hair shaved off . So when males put themselves on exhibition , it seems to give off that undercurrent of being , or behaving in a feminine manner .

    • And you have to wonder if part of the reason people see women’s bodies is more beautiful is because are they are more beautified. Or just symbolized this more attractive. I think men’s legs and butts are just as attractive as women’s, but the images are all that women’s. And no doubt people get distracted by “crossing over” to the other gender. Even if that merely means showing a lot of skin.

  11. The posting says that when a woman sees something “sexy” or objectified, She’s grown used to unconsciously thinking that it is meant for the male gaze. With the example of comparing women figure’s dancing at an event compared to men’s figures, I too like the rest would perceive the dancing figures of men would seem gay. Our genders are constructed at an early age where cultural elements shape our ideas. As adults, we shape our perceptions of what is “out there” on the basis of the ways in which we have learned to interpret reality. We see more advertisements that show us that women’s figure’s are “sexy,” while there are fewer advertisements and figures of men that represent “sexy”. Society in general is used to only seeing the woman’s body as being “sexy” that we see the opposite as being deviant.
    The media portrays the ideal women should be gentle, beautiful or sexy, and etc. , while men should be strong and masculine. The word “sexy” describing a man can be considered deviant and therefore may be the reason why individuals would perceive a man dancing “sexy” on stage as being gay.

  12. I find this very interesting because this idea that sexy men are gay plays a big role, not just in news, advertisements, and popular media, but in our every day’s lives. I see this notion reflected and inflated in my Latino community in a very peculiar way.
    We have machos, men, “mariposas” (fags), and Don Juans; machos are unkept, all domineering, impulsive and aggressive, men are levelheaded leaders of the home, mariposas are any men who show “too much” interest in their looks and, perhaps, speak or walk without a macho streak, and Don Juan’s are mariposas with poetry and women to free them from stigmatization.
    “Sexy men” are Don Juans in popular Latino Media and while women ogle them –even in front of their husbands (who typically refer them them as “mariposas”) these men’s status is raised but they are not desired in the home. From my understanding, this isn’t even a fear of cheating mainly, but rather because the women fear they won’t have the respect of other men or lack the dominance to lead a home. In other words, sexy men are also not suitable husbands.

  13. That is rather unfortunate actually. I actually just watched Magic Mike XXL with Channing Tatum who appears as a male entertainer, and when I watched it gay was the last thing from mind. I think men can be sexy without being judged as gay. And they should not be judged in the first place, because that is just holding double standards. We should be able to celebrate men being sexy and thats it, no name calling or judgment of any kind.

    • Yeah, I’ve written on this point before, but not in this post: in order for a sexy man to seem sexy he must meet a narrow criteria like seeming hyper-masculine, Which Channing Tatum does. (And yet I think he has recently come out as bisexual! Which doesn’t count as hyper-masculine in our culture.)

  14. After reading the short blog I was truly fascinated by the women calling men “gay” when there just trying to be sexy. But I think a reason why when men are seem as gay to women than sexy would probably have to be because women/society probably have an ideal definition/visual of what a sexy man looks like, such as big and tough, blonde, colored eyes etc. And I also think of what we define as masculine plays a role in defining what sexy is for a man. But I guess sometimes the way its physically put in a different way on a man, a women sees it as gay. And well also, as I remembered in our women’s studies class, in our society “sexy” is defined and titled mostly on women and they receive most of the attention rather than men.

  15. Diane Perez Arredondo

    I think this subject is very interesting. I just think its crazy how whenever a guy shows their feminine side girls automatically think that they are gay. So many times I have seen girls judge guys because they do their eyebrows or their hair. They think that the guy is gay just because they care about their appearance. If a guy is seen doing something that is known to society as “girly” then those men must be gay since they are doing it too. In a lot of cases this is not true just because a guy does something that is feminine does not mean that they have to be gay.

  16. Late to the table but this reminds me of how I found your blog. I was searching for an answer to the question, “Do men FEEL sexy?”

    If I feel sexy, that is, to my mind a healthy bit of narcissism. I know women feel sexy, at least most do at some point in their lives. We do things to feel sexy & sensuous. But do men feel sexy and if so, what defines a man feeling sexy? I think gay men have a sense of feeling sexy. I also think Black & Latino men more easily embrace trying to “Look” sexy to increase attraction but does the act of creating the sexy “look”, conjure a narcissistic intimate feeling of “I feel sexy” and do the enjoy or indulge the way that makes them feel.

    • I suppose that the legacy of the Latin lover would help Latino men. And black men are considered hyper masculine, which would help them out, too (hyper masculine man aren’t seen as gay).

      But a lot of guys do complain on my blog that they don’t feel sexy. Some men cross-dress because they want to feel sexy. And I was reading a cross-dresser’s blog and one guy specifically said that he sometimes dresses like women so that he can get some attention and feel like others find him (as her) sexy.

      On the other hand, some men send out crotch shots, thinking that that’s sexy. And flashers often think it’s sexy to flash. But in either case, women don’t seem to agree, so much.

      It might also depend on how you define sexy. Women will often find a well-dressed man sexy, so if that could work! I imagine that some guys must sense that women find them sexy when they look really attractive. (But not overtly sexy in the way that women are expected to be.) More like Don Draper. Have you seen this? https://broadblogs.com/2015/05/06/do-women-see-sexy-men-as-sexy-2/

      Have you seen this post? https://broadblogs.com/2015/05/06/do-women-see-sexy-men-as-sexy-2/

  17. Seeing those pictures… don’t think, just enjoy…. simple 🙂

    • Easier said than done. Unfortunately, a lot of us will look at those pictures and think it looks gay — without really thinking.

      But the reason why so many of us do that is really interesting. And problematic. It tells us that something needs to change.

  18. Interesting- I’m going to have to percolate on this one and see what my experience is like the next time I have the opportunity to see sexy men- how much does my internalized male gaze kick in? You definitely have me thinking…

    • I noticed that when I was he sexy men they would often appear “gay” to me. And I sometimes when women would look at “sexy me” they would say, “how gay!” My students still often nod their heads when I talk about men in Speedo’s all over billboards. So I was interested to see what was going on. The theory makes a lot of sense to me.

  19. Right, his picture strongly embody what we think of as masculine.”

    I’m talking about his pose as far as sexualized images, not related to a speedo but him in say underwear or whatever. But him in a speedo would work, not because of his masculinity, because he doesn’t “look” any more masculine than other masculine looking, guys who the speedo doesn’t work for, because they don;t have the body to wear it. Beckham posing in a masculine way or masculine looks means nothing if he doesn’t have the body for it. My point isn’t about the “Gay” thing, but why speedos seem “funny” or funny looking on men, because if a man is to wear something so skimpy, he has to have that lean toned body and good looking, to be the exception to pull it off. Otherwise, he just looks funny wearing one.

    • I don’t know. Because we associate skimpy clothing so much with femininity even Mr. Beckham may not be able to get away with it.

      • Or is it because the build and masculinity is more important to allow a few men to be able to pull off a speedo or briefs? But then, it might be the cut, because I have an example, in which the swim wear is fairly skimpy for a man, but no one or women didn’t think it was gay or weird and swooned at the actor wearing, because it’s cut not so short as a brief, but short enough to show his legs and body. I don’t know if the speedo cut just reminds people of a panty brief or something, but there really isn’t a huge difference as far as clothing cut, but it makes a difference for a man in shape to look sexy and be sexy in this more skimpy attire compared to the same man wearing a speedo and not being sexy. Here’s an example that works since you have just writted about Daniel Craig and him being a feminist, as well as him in the latest bond movie. It seems like you and other women are a fan of him, because of his support for women, which is always good.

        I don’t watch much bond, movies, but I thought the first bond movie Daniel Craig played in was good, the action and story. I think it was in like 2006 or 2007 when it came out. But there was a scene, that people were talking about how it was a role reversal. In all the previous bond movies the women the women are usually sexualized and scantily clad and in bikinis or something. Bond was the dressed up, womanizer basically and used his charm and wit and the women were the arm candy, the bond girls. But in that movie it was more equal, the women had more character and layers to their character and bond had more depth too than simply a cheeky, smooth operator, with daniel Craig. Anyways, I remember a scene and seeing in like E entertainment and yahoo and online how women gushed over a scene with daniel craig coming out of the ocean in a beach scene, shirtless and just a small swimming trunk. It wasn’t a speedo, but it wasn’t also a typical board short or typical longer swimming trunk, but pretty short. Usually it was women doing a scene like that, but women swooned over it and it was pretty skimpy and yet no women saw it was gay and like it apparently.

        https://www.yahoo.com/movies/how-james-bonds-sexy-swim-scene-from-casino-155942525.html

        Some female comments from in response to article

        “For the first time – ever, gifs didn’t annoy me in this story. ; ) In fact I may have to *eh, hem* read this story all day.

        LightandSweetLightandSweet8 days ago
        “I plan on doing the same…LOL”

        “Wow…he has a VERY nice body. It’s about time us women get to enjoy some eye candy!”

        Laurie C8 days ago
        “Exactly, mmm mmm good.”

        Ave Maria L7 days ago
        Thirteen seconds TOO SHORT!!! This man has sex appeal plus and I’ve never been one to go gaga over an actor.”

        It kind of brought Daniel Craig into a sex symbol status and it got quite a bit of a decent amount of female attention.

      • He’s pretty darn hot here. Just not as eroticized as the female form, Or as allowed to heighten the eroticization thru his bodily movement.

  20. How can many, or at least some women get turned on by guy-on-guy porn?
    There are no female bodies on the picture to feet attraction to.
    Besides these guys are hot for each other so women can’t fantasize that these men desire her and feel turned on by their desire.
    Also guy-on-guy is very unwanted on the media so there is no social conditioning for that.

    So then how can these women get turned on by videos with men’s only naked bodies?

    • Maybe they were exposed to hot guys in porn (straight or gay) from a youngish age, which socializes them differently from most girls? Or some other difference in their experience or personality? Or, they watch it for reasons other than being turned on specifically by their bodies — more the sex? Or the watch not to get turned on but to figure out how to be better lovers… We are a mix of culture + social interaction + natural personality.

      Have you seen this series on why women watch gay porn?

      Gay Porn Stars Have More Fun

      Gay Porn Stars Have More Fun


      Women and Gay, Hot Bods

      Women and Gay, Hot Bods


      Gay Porn as Sex Ed for Women?

      Gay Porn as Sex Ed for Women?

  21. Women see women as sexier than men through social conditioning. The male body is ignored so women don’t learn to be sexually turned on by the male body.

    But then how can it be explained that many, or at least some women are.turned on by guy-on-guy porn?
    There are no female bodies on the picture to feel sexual attraction to.
    The male bodies and guy-on-guy are ignored and even unwanted on the media so there is no social conditioning for that.
    Besides many women get turned on by imagining they are the object of desire.
    But on guy-on-guy these guys are hot for each other so these women could not imagine that these men desire her.
    So how could these women get sexually turned on by videos of men’s only naked bodies?

    • Maybe they were exposed to hot guys in porn (straight or gay) from a youngish age, which socializes them differently from most girls? Or some other difference in their experience or personality? Or, they watch it for reasons other than being turned on specifically by their bodies — more the sex? Or the watch not to get turned on but to figure out how to be better lovers… We are a mix of culture + social interaction + natural personality.

      Have you seen this series on why women watch gay porn?

      Gay Porn Stars Have More Fun

      Gay Porn Stars Have More Fun


      Women and Gay, Hot Bods

      Women and Gay, Hot Bods


      Gay Porn as Sex Ed for Women?

      Gay Porn as Sex Ed for Women?

    • I’m a heterosexual female who likes guy-on-guy porn, and women have nothing to do with it for me. Women can be just as visual as men are. Because I’m not attracted to women, I prefer if they aren’t in the video at all. I’d rather look at men, because men are beautiful and sexy to me. I’m not pretending to be in the video or fantasizing that I’m the “object” of desire.

      In my experience, the straight/bi women I know who have bad reactions towards sexy/scantily clad men have actually trained themselves to be that way because of the male gaze, and because they have larger hang-ups about sexuality in general–that for a woman to take initiative sexually is improper, indecent, or even comical. They’ve internalized the male gaze, and as a result their sex lives aren’t fulfilling. The male gaze, in a heterosexual context, enforces the idea that sex takes place on men’s terms, and that women are simply the recipients of whatever men want to dish out. It takes sexual agency away from women by objectifying them.

      • Every now and then I get a note from a woman who is turned on by seeing naked men. I’m wondering what is different in your experience from average. Since our society does nothing to sexualize and fetishize the male body, but does a whole lot to sexualize and fetishize the female body it is much more common to see things go the other way: Women appreciative of the male form but not being sexually aroused just by looking at a male body, but then finding women — often, themselves through their partners eyes — surprisingly arousing.

        But we are all a mix of these three things: culture + social interactions + biological personality

        And these things mixed differently in each individual.

        You may not know why you see things differently than usual. But if you have any insight, do tell.

  22. Nice post, but I wouldn’t consider every man like a gay may be!

  23. I wouldn’t necessarily think of it as gay. I personally don’t believe someone can “look” gay, man or woman. I’ve seen underwear adverts all my life of men, and they never seem gay to me. Just trying too hard, as a lot of such adverts for women do too. I think it is possible for women to objectify men in underwear. However, it’s more to do with context (like the quintessential lifeguard scenario) than an isolated female body in underwear, as it is for men.

  24. I wouldn’t find that sexy, period. Ugh.

  25. Maybe, but maybe it’s because unfortunately the male body is not versatile like the female body and can’t look sexy in scantily clad clothes like women or need to be either nude or something in between. People laugh or joke about “banana hammocks”, because maybe it’s “gay” . But also because I think they look funny on dudes and it’s just too much for the guys. You have balls smuggled in the smallest clothes. Women don’t have “outies” or balls and have innies and more discrete genital area. Though there is such thing as “camel toe”, but usually clothes have to be pretty tight to see that. Anyway, for me, I don’t think they look “gay” in that picture, but they kind of look funny. but like I said not because it;s gay, but the male body not equpped to look good generally in speedos.

    I don’t know if’s the narrow hips, the balls smuggled like I said. How it makes a man’s belly look chubbier even if he’s not. Like it doesn’t look bad for male swimmers, because they are so toned and thing from being top athletes that they are the exceptions. Having a slim, but muscled and lean and toned body seems to be the only body that works. Then again the wwe wrestles wear them. But many do look funny wearing them. It’s only the super fit that look acceptable and why male strippers are more acceptable, becxause they have bodies. But many or most guys don’t. Whereas, women don’t have to be nearly as perfect to wear a bathing suit or bikini even though they think they do. Women just apparently wear scantily clad revealing clothes better. It’s probably those oh so lucious curves again.

    • Don’t think so because as I said to someone else, there are exceptions. Hyper-masculine men like David Beckham and there are a couple other exceptions. See this: https://broadblogs.com/2015/05/06/do-women-see-sexy-men-as-sexy-2/

      • It works for David Beckham, because of how he’s posed. But also he’s not in a speedo either, plus like I said his body, very thin, lean, toned, but muscled, is the exception to what can work. Most male body types look funny in a speedo or have to be really really fit, but in a certain way to pull it off.

      • Right, his picture strongly embody what we think of as masculine.

    • Bob, your point of view is just confirming everything said in the original post. You are obviously heterosexual, so of course you don’t find the male form sexy.

      “But also because I think they look funny on dudes and it’s just too much for the guys. You have balls smuggled in the smallest clothes.”

      You could say the same thing about pushup bras and cleavage. Breasts naturally hang, but modern women in the West contort and squeeze them into padded pushup bras and the tiniest of shirts, pushing the breasts up nearly to their chins. The sexiness of clothing is completely arbitrary and socially constructed.

  26. Your onto something here! 🙂
    Oh no, I’ve just realised I’m prejudice to the male species! Haha
    I would have gone, GAY! Sorry straight guys out there!
    Hope your having a great day. Hugs Paula xx

    • Seeing sexy men as gay happens with some frequency. Done it myself and many women do to. It’s probably because men have been in charge of media and portray what THEY find sexy. (Men aren’t bad, they’re just in a position to define sexy, historically). Then we’re all bombarded with that view of what sexy is.

      And as I note, “Sexy” and objectified images are almost always meant for the male gaze in popular culture. So when a woman sees something sexy or objectified, she’s grown used to thinking (unconsciously) that it’s meant for the male gaze.

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