Women, Objects of Desire (Even for Women?)
Women bombarded by Victoria’s Secret models
Sexy lady’s bodies have been the focus of pop culture for decades.
Maybe that’s why even straight women were more aroused by a nude woman than by a nude man in one study, when measuring blood flow to the vagina. Some research suggests culture may be playing a role.
Is this true? A student of mine wondered.
And do the rules of religion collide with sexuality? My student, Laurelle, garnered a peek at both matters with a simple focus on threesomes.
Laurelle surveyed her friends, family, and coworkers, and had a friend post questions on his forum. Twenty-five women and twenty-five men of varying ages, races, and religious perspectives responded to these questions:
- Would you like to do a threesome with two women?
- With two men?
- What religion do you belong to?
- What’s your sexual orientation?
It’s not a scientific study, but I found the results interesting, and with permission I’m sharing her findings.
Eight percent of the men and sixteen percent of the women were bisexual. The rest were straight. No gays or lesbians, which surprised her. (When I survey my students I usually receive far more “bi” or “pan” responses than gay or lesbian, as well. Also surprises me.)
Now, on to the first survey question. Let’s start with men. Not because they are numero uno, but because the women’s answers are (slightly) more surprising.
Men like threesomes — especially if their religion is anti-gay
First, about three-quarters of men think threesomes are hot. But none of them – even those who were bi – were interested in sex with two men. Interesting.
But does belonging to an anti-gay religion make men less inclined toward a three-way? No. While 72% said they’d enjoy a ménage à trois with two women, the number rose to 78% of men belonging to a religion that disapproves of homosexuality. Are they ignoring their religious tenants? Or do they think lesbians don’t count?
Laurelle found it refreshing that 28% of the guys wanted just one partner. (Better than the 90-plus percent she’d expected would crave threesomes.)
Are women into threesomes?
How about women? Those who belonged to an anti-gay religion were less likely than men to want threesomes.
But women were also less likely to want them, overall.
- 40% were interested in trying a threesome involving two women
- 16% were interested in two men
- 48% of those belonging to a religion that disapproves of homosexuality were up for a three-way
So once again, homophobic religion correlated with higher desire for homosexual behavior. Hmmm.
Laurelle’s sampling of women showed a higher interest in threesomes than student’s I’ve surveyed, or national samples — which both run at about 10% interest among women. But her sample comes from family, friends and coworkers, while mine comes from women’s psych and women’s studies students. Maybe she runs with a more experimental crowd.
Sexual fluidity
It’s interesting that these straight women were more interested in sex with two women than two men. And that even bi men felt the same way.
The results lend support to the notion that women have come to be seen as the sexier half of the species. Biology may play a role. But since the bias held for both men and women, culture looks pretty important, too — maybe more so.
From the time we are small we are bombarded with sexualized images of women, but encounter relatively few such images of men. Some call it female sexual alienation. When we live in a world that is more controlled by men (who are usually straight) than by women, on some level we all end up seeing the world through straight male eyes.
This is a rerun. I’m on vacation.
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Posted on September 5, 2016, in LGBTQ+, men, psychology, sex and sexuality, women and tagged female bisexuality, homophobia, LGBTQ+, men, psychology, sex and sexuality, sexual fluidity, threesomes, women. Bookmark the permalink. 68 Comments.
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I find the question of female sexuality to be an interesting one because it seems that it is often portrayed as more fluid than male sexuality, perhaps because of the primary concept of women being viewed as “sensual creatures” who are therefore “versatile” enough to be inserted into any sexual context. Additionally, the existence of toxic masculinity seems to quash the notion of an analog spectrum between the heterosexuals and homosexuals, thus making bisexual women seem far more commonplace. This is actually confirmed by a 2011 Williams Institute study which found “bisexuals comprise more than half of the lesbian and bisexual population among women” whereas “gay men comprise substantially more than half of gay and bisexual men.” Whether this is due to the societal pressures of coming out as a bisexual male or actual physiological differences between the sexes is not clear, but based on personal experience it seems much more common to meet bisexual females than outright lesbians and gay males than bisexual ones, thus mirroring the results of the study.
With that said, I’ve always wondered if the greater number of females who are aroused by other females is because of this unseen bisexual majority where perhaps some women who identify as straight are on the LGBT+ spectrum without knowing it. Of course, the oversexualization of women definitely has a role to play in creating the notion of females as primarily “sexy,” but as a gay male I have zero to negative sexual response when it comes to seeing women portrayed in this manner. Shouldn’t I find them as “sexy” as straight women do?
You might be interested in reading these:
Women Are More Sexually Fluid
https://broadblogs.com/2015/10/05/women-are-more-sexually-fluid/
Sexual Fluidity, Images & Biology
https://broadblogs.com/2015/10/19/sexual-fluidity-images-biology/
Sexual Fluidity & Emotional Connection
https://broadblogs.com/2016/01/13/sexual-fluidity-emotional-connection/
Women Are More Responsive To Repression
https://broadblogs.com/2016/04/18/women-are-more-responsive-to-repression/
Really interesting facts and quite surprising as well!
“So once again, homophobic religion correlated with higher desire for homosexual behavior. Hmmm” – this also made me hmmm… 😀
Ha, ha! Humans are fairly good at holding inconsistent beliefs, aren’t they?
You bet… 😀
An example how the people who are supposedly trying to help LGBT be accepted are actually hurting bisexual men.
Ι was watching a movie, the plot was, that two straight guys were trying to take advantage of some law or something and they pretented to be gay and got married. Their friends and family supported their boldness of coming out and getting married. So we have a movie that presents the rights of gay people? Not so fast.
There was a twist in the plot. Because these were are actually straight men, there were some hints and indications that they were involved with women, so the judge called them to clear the things, whether they were actually gay or they were attracted to women and the marriage was staged. So the definitive question by the judge to decide if the marriage was real or not, was “are you attracted to women?”
Wait a minute, I was mind blown by the lack of common sense. So what if they were attracted to women, they could still be bisexual. In the entire movie, which was supposedly gay-friendly, noone ever mentioned the possibility of them being bisexual. The entire movie was about them being macho straight or super gay.
People don’t believe in the existence of male bisexuality
“But what do I know? All these are just assumptions”
I’m planning to take your ideas and write them up as a post from your perspective. You can go by Jean Claunde or something else. I’ll run it by you after I do the edit. But I won’t be writing this for a few weeks because I’m trying to get something else done right now.
We can include this:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/going-with-the-flow-male-_b_6642504.html
This also is very interesting
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/07/29/bosom-buddies-a-photo-history-of-male-affection/
You don’t really have to run it by me, after all these have already been posted. You could just write that they were comments by user(s) on your blog.
Ok. Thanks!
A few more thoughts. Even though nowadays society can accept gay guys more than it used to, that’s more harmful to bi guys. Because gay guys have to come out, they can’t pretend to like women, that would hurt them and any women they would try to marry to.
But bi guys don’t have to come out. They can just ignore their same sex attraction and just go on dating women. After all they are attracted to women too since they are bisexual. In matter of fact it’s in their best interest to hide their bisexuality because people still don’t want to accept the difference between male bisexuality and homosexuality. How many straight women would willingly date and marry a bisexual man?
I know a few gay guys but I haven’t met anyone who dared to identify as bisexual.
I bet that my posts on this subject would make someone suspect “oh he’s writing about male bisexuality then he has to be one”. But I am not bi. I am just pointing out the obvious. There’s a bimale-phobia
You had a post about reversing roles.
Imagine if society and the media viewed female bisexuality as unattractive as male bisexuality then I bet that women would try to hide their bisexuality because that wouldn’t be attractive.
But the media has demonized male bisexuality and has fetishized female bisexuality.
Female bisexuality = cool and sexy
Male bisexuality = uncool and gay
I agree that there is a double standard.
If you want to write something longer on the topic, I’ll be happy to post it.
I don’t think that I am the right guy to make a post on this topic. I am a hetero guy, I don’t know how bi guys who repress and ignore their sexuality must feel. But I just don’t like double standards. Every other day there is an article or a study about female bisexuality plus the music videos and movies and porn whereas there is not a single word about male bisexuality.
Have you noticed that in movies if a male character is attracted to men then he is always appearead as weak, femine, unattractive?
Perhaps it would be better to ask your students their thoughts on why everyone is talking about female bisexuality but noone is talking about male bisexuality.
I recall a girl saying that girl-on-girl doesn’t compromise a woman’s womanhood whereas guy-on-guy would compromise his manhood.
It seems that our society has ingrained the notion that bisexual men are less of a man, and even scientists don’t bother to ever make a study on male bisexuality.
But then again what do I know? I am just a hetero guy.
Sexuality is defined by sexual attraction or sexual behavior?
There are many people saying that’s attraction that defines sexuality and not sexual behavior. That’s why we get self-identified straight women having sex with women and still claiming to be heterosexual.
So if it’s sexual attraction and not sexual behavior defines sexuality then all these self-identified straight women who are sexually attracted to the female but not to the male body are actually “lesbians who are dating men”.
Just because they are dating men it doesn’t make them heterosexual because it’s not the sexual behavior that defines sexuality.
Bisexual women would be sexual attracted to the male and female body.
Heterosexual women would be attracted to the male but not to the female body. Isn’t that the minority of women?
What I find odd is that there are countless studies and researches about female bisexuality or sexual fluidity or however they want to dub, also music videos and movies are full in bisexual/lesbians, there is a also a small represantation of gay men in the media, not likely as positive but still there are some gay men on the media but never ever there was a study or a research about male bisexuality.
Just because they have concluded that men are less bisexual than women they went all the way to actually erase the possibility that some men could actually be sexual fluid. How many researchers have you seen about male bisexuality.
Then if a study finds out that a self-identified straight men is turned on by the male body then everyone concludes he is gay in denial. Whatever happened to the male bisexuality? Wasn’t there a time in ancient greece where male bisexuality was common?
I’d like to ask you, how many studies you have seen about female bisexuality? Countless
How many studies you have seen about male bisexuality? Probably none
Aren’t bisexual men the most ignored people based on sexuality? Everyone dubs them as gay.
So the bottom line of all these reaserches are that men are more heterosexual and polygamous whereas women are more bisexual and monogamous.
That makes sense from an evolutional and reproduction point.
Men going after many women would lead to more offsprings.
Women desiring to have sex with a man and another woman would also lead to more offsprings.
Women not being turned on by the male body works as a safe trigger so that women won’t go after men and avoiding unwanted pregnancies. That’s combined with women wanting to get to know with the man first. They need to trust him before having sex.
That’s why there are numerous cases of powerful men with a harem of wives but never was a case of a woman with a harem of men
Even in nature, the strongest male gets all the females.
This seems to make sense to, and the question of whether society and norms create this I do not know, but even the women I know believe women are more attractive (and not even in a sexual manner, but a more pleasing manner).
Right. What you just described is probably extremely common. Women who say that women are the sexier sex but who neither get aroused by women’s bodies nor are interested in having sex with them.
The Oscars presents a typical situation. The men are in suits and definitely attractive. The women are in body hugging clothing that reveals cleavage and legs, and are also attractive but in a more sexualized way. I’m guessing that most women would find both the men and the women attractive, but would find neither sexually arousing in that context — and would say that women were sexier. Their clothing is designed to make them the sexier sex. Even walking around in street clothing women tend to wear more body hugging and revealing clothing than men.
But then, we grow up in a world that creates the sense that women are the sexier half of the species by sexualizing and fetishizing their bodies.
In tribal societies no one’s body is sexualized and fetishized.
Women who say that women are the sexier sex but who neither get aroused by women’s bodies nor are interested in having sex with them.”
If a woman gets turned on by lesbian porn or desires a threesome with another woman, then she probably is aroused by women’s bodies. You said many women feel this way and I’m sure a decent number of those women are also women who get turned on by lesbian porn or desire or fantasize about a threesome with another woman.
Some women who call themselves straight both find women’s bodies arousing and want to have sex with women, Like in a threesome. Why people label themselves the way they do can be confusing. Like if they are only romantically interested in men but have some level of desire for sex with women they might still call themselves straight. Or vice versa.
Other women who call themselves straight can find new images of women arousing, and yet have no interest in having sex with women.
Times are changing and labels become confusing.
Ok, most women are sexually attracted to men and women and interested in having sex with men and women. That’s not just arousal, it’s actual sexual desire. So by definition that’s bisexuality.
Then why do most women keep claiming to be heterosexual?
It’s interesting that most people are in denial of their true selves
University of Utah Prof. Lisa Diamond spent about a decade interviewing Women who weren’t straight. I think she reinterviewed them every two years. About two thirds of them had changed their self labeling after a decade. But not by a lot. It might go from lesbian to bisexual to unlabeled.
At first she was only interested in sex with women. And then she fell in love with a man and figured she must be bisexual. But over the next eight years she was never interested in another man so “Bisexual” didn’t seem right since her interest in men was unusual. Yes she knew that she could find men attractive so lesbian didn’t seem right either, So she calls herself “Unlabeled.”
Most women needed to be attracted to both sexes at least two thirds of the time — I think it was two thirds — to think of themselves as bisexual.
Sometimes they were emotionally drawn to one sex and sexually drawn to the other, and that affected how they saw themselves too. But the labeling wasn’t necessarily consistent. If a woman only wanted sexual + romantic relationships with men, but didn’t mind an occasional romp with a woman who she was only sexually interested in, she wouldn’t see herself as bisexual because the weight was so much more heavily toward men.
It’s confusing, I know. But their self-labeling reveals how they understand themselves. It probably reveals something about our culture too.
Lisa Diamond is a lesbian but just because she can find a man attractive that means that she is no longer a lesbian?
Then with the same logic all the straight women who find other women attractive that means that they are no longer straight?
Do you see the double standard?
Straight women can be attracted to women but lesbians can’t be attracted to men
We have a society that is more homophobic toward men desiring men than women desiring women. But we also have a culture that encourages the sexualization of women. As a result Women appear to be more likely to have flexibility in desire, which might be boosted by biology, as I’ve written about before: women’s lower sex drive most of the month leaving her not actively seeking out sexual stimulus but getting bombard buy it instead. And all of those micro-hits unconsciously treating the idea that women are the sexier half of the species. And actually changing the brain in someways.
I’ve seen some argue that man can have flexibility too, and I am sure that is true.
Why do women give themselves this leeway? Like it doesn’t count? I could understand if being bisexual was taboo or this was past times, but people are much more accepting of homosexuality and such acts. Especially in regard to women and sex acts. Society is more accepting of women being intimate with each other than men and it most likely probably because of how society is set up from the straight male gaze perspective. I mean people can label how they want, but everything has a meaning and definition as a way for us to understand, compare and relate. I mean if we don’t go by definitions and such, then words and labels are meaningless and in that sense than other labels or words are pointless in defining what each thing or person is. The human brain needs things defined or else everything is muddled and jumbled.
Think of it like this. These women doing this but identifying as straight is like a person who touts themselves or tell you that they are a vegan. But they told you or you saw they were drinking milk the other day. Not almond milk, but actual milk which comes from a cow.. You’re like “I thought you’re vegan?” And they are like “well I usually have non animal drinks and foods, except for milk once a month”. Sure they are mostly going that way, but not completely vegan action. If you’re labeling yourself a way, but not staying the way of that definition, are you actually that? When you are labeling yourself that, but not keeping up with what the definition means as in all the way…are you being dishonest or just making up things as to how you see fit? And then, what’s the point of defining yourself in the first place? If the vegan likes going the non vegan route sometimes, why still labeling themselves as vegan or like they are a diehard vegan when actions say otherwise?
In that sense it makes more sense just going without a label even if trying to go the vegan route. Why are such women hell bent on defining as straight when having non-straight actions every once in a while, instead of just not labeling their orientation? A vegan means having no animal product food or drink. bisexual means sexual attraction to both men and women, it doesn’t say how much to men and women, but simply implies a sexual attraction to both. so it could be 90% to men and 10% to women, but that 10% still means sexual attraction. Therefore, that would go along with the definition. If a woman is doing something sexual with another woman or find herself doing so at some points in her life. There has to be an underlying sexual attraction to women somewhere or else it;s not happening, and if there is, than that goes to what the definition of bisexual means. It never states how much attraction there is between the two, but there being sexual attraction for both men and women.
I can see why it’s hard to understand why a person wouldn’t feel bisexual if she were only attracted to women one-third of the time. So that the balance doesn’t feel right to say “bisexual” and the preference was for “lesbian.” But that is a key. Lesbian isn’t necessarily considered any better. So there’s something about the experience that just doesn’t feel right saying bisexual when a woman is almost always attracted to other women. But she has this flexibility.
I am not talking about men. I am talking about lesbians that find men attractive. Just because Lisa Diamonds found a man attractive that means that she’s no longer lesbian?
I don’t know whether she has ever found a man attractive or not. She was studying other women who are non-straight.
Also keep in mind that while something like two-thirds or three-quarters of these women changed their label at some point, These are sexual minority women. I doubt you’d get that high of a number with straight women. Maybe sexual minority women are in newer territory where things are more confusing? And where society is less likely to bolster and even pressure an identity.
So these studies are telling us that women can change their minds about what they like or not. What else is new?
Well, it’s not a conscious thing, Other than trying to fit a label to one’s experience, Which can be confusing. I don’t doubt that men have some sexual flexibility to.
How many studies and researches have been conducted about male bisexuality and how many about female bisexuality? What’s the ratio? Is it something like 0-100?
On the one hand, female bisexuality has been fetishized and it has become almost fashionable and on the other hand male bisexuality is ignored and even being rediculed. No wonder why men almost never admit they could have some sexual fluidity and try to hide it. Because even the slightest sexual fluidity would make other people dub them as gay.
So men try to hide whatever fluid sexuality they could have. Mind you that I am not talking about gay men that get married and try to pass as straight. But about bisexual men or straight men with some fluid sexuality. They still prefer women and they can just ignore whatever same-sex attraction they have so they won’t be rediculed by other people.
If a woman comes out as bisexual then she’s considered to be sexy. Singer Nicki Minaj admitted that she’s not bisexual and she had just said that to appear more sexy.
Now imagine if a guy would come out as “straight with fluid sexuality”, would that make him more popular with the girls? Of course not, the girls would categorize him as gay.
There’s a new TV show Constantine. In the comic book, the character is bisexual. But on the TV show they erased his bisexuality and turned him to heterosexual.
Have you seen many studies about male bisexuality? It’s like even the scientists don’t care and prefer to ignore male bisexuality. It’s like, even the scientists treat bisexual men as gay men. And perhaps the reason why studies haven’t found many things about male bisexuality is because nobody has ever bothered to make a study for it.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not bisexual, but I don’t like double standards.
You could ask your students their thoughts about male bisexuality . I bet the guys would respond “that’s gay” and almost none of the girls would be interested in dating a bisexual guy because “that’s gay”.
See if you want to add something to this and I’ll edit and post it — with you as author.
I don’t think I am the right guy to write something on that topic. I am hetero guy. I have no idea how bi guys would feel repressing their sexualities. Feel free to use it if you would like though.
A straight girl once said that it’s ok for girls to compliment other girls but if a guy compliments another guy then he is gay. I can’t believe how much a double standard could be ingrained in people’s thoughts.
Wouldn’t be better if you asked your students to write their thoughts on male bisexuality anonymously of course so you would get honest answers.
I don’t think that bi guys would publicly admit being bi because then girls would categorize them as gay.
You don’t have to be bisexual to write this, You just have to care about the issue, and you care about it and have put a lot of thought into it. I’m guessing that John Claunde isn’t your real name, anyway. But if you want a different pen name we could do that.
I haven’t really put any thought to it. I just point out the obvious. It’s strange though that neither scientists nor the media ever make efforts to represent male bisexuality. It’s kind of ironic that the same persons who are trying to help gay men to be accepted have accidentally demonized male bisexuality.
There all kinds of shades for female sexuality but when it comes to men, they are either macho straight or super gay.
I mean, even you were surprised that in this survey that you mentioned in this post, bisexual men prefered a threesome with two women. Why did that surprise you?
Bisexual men are still very attracted to women. They can live all of their lives as heterosexual and noone could ever tell that they are actually bisexual. And I bet that’s happening. They repress whatever sexual fluidity they could have so they won’t be seen as gay by women and men.
I have read comments by bisexual women saying that “bisexual men are actually gay and I would never date or marry one”. Isn’t that ironic?
But I could see why people prefer to ignore the existence of male bisexuality.
You have made a post about women feeling jealous when their partner is ogling other women. Imagine how women would feel if their partner was ogling men as well.
How many women would be willing to marry a bisexual man?
But what do I know? All these are just assumptions
Women’s sexual fluidity, turned on by images, taboos, women, sexual images, except men. Straight Women easily influenced by culture, society, but not all out turned on by men or lusting at men and only men. It sure makes it seem like women don’t have a sexual agency. You can say culture, but I wonder if women are biologically less straight than men. Because it seems like things effect women much easier away from men, than men toward women. Or like media has to go out of it’s way to make men’s bodies sexually appealing.
Why are women so dictated on presentation with the media on people’s bodies? Men don’t need women sexualized from magazines, tv, commercials as long as women aren’t walking around nude all the time and wearing clothes. Women’s bodies will be sexual to men and have an arousing aspect though not hyped up like it is from the teasing and tension from media. But women simply wearing clothing creates mystery and intrigue just from that and it’s just all about women. Why aren’t women hardwired toward men like men are to women in the visual, physical sense?
Maybe you already know this, but it wasn’t clear for me from your comment, but have you seen this which suggests why women’s sexuality might be more fluid? Sexual Fluidity, Images & Biology
https://broadblogs.com/2015/10/19/sexual-fluidity-images-biology/
Otherwise, men aren’t hardwired to see women’s bodies as super sexual either. They don’t in tribal societies where women walk around in the equivalent of a G string.
But men and women both live in our culture which sexualizes women’s bodies and pretty much ignores men’s — the male body is beginning to get more attention, but still dwarfed compared to women.
Everyone has a sexual orientation, but the degree to which a person is sexually fluid is a separate variable that operates alongside orientation. Some people are highly fluid, while others are less fluid. Sexual fluidity can be expressed as a change in which gender a person is drawn to. Straight — yet fall in love with your best friend. This shift happens only one time in your entire life, so your basic orientation is heterosexual. Or it can occur simply as a shift in sexual response.”
http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2014/10/13/debunking-myths-about-sexual-fluidity.html
I must’ve wrote too much or too long, but I was right about the female prison thing despite writing it before reading your article. I felt it does seem like women being amongst each other are more likely to do something intimate or sexual than men who are with each other and stuck with each other for a very long time or say for life (excluding rapes sometimes, though that doesn’t really count and still I believe and as the study showed women more often behaving in lesbian experimenting in female prison). So doesn’t that study or women’s sexual fluidity if not just culture but also biology in effect, mean men are just strong preferences for women?
Men in prison can start having sex with men after a while, too. I was reading about this and some of the imprisoned gay men try to make themselves look as feminine as possible. Grow their hair out long and take the pockets off of their jeans to better show off their butts. At first straight guys are put off by this, but after a while these guys start looking pretty good. One difference is that the gay guys do try to look feminine whereas I don’t think the women try to look masculine.
Still further evidence of how disconnected most religions have become from the people for whom they are supposed to provide some support.
Funny, isn’t it?
I wonder if the physical aspects of sex have influenced people’s decisions. By that I mean, men penetrate and for anyone to be involved in a threesome with two men, it is something to be considered!
Maybe. I sometimes wondered if that is part of the reason why women are more reluctant to have sex. You feel more vulnerable being penetrated than doing the penetrating, so women might want a higher level of trust. At the same time I suspect that culture is a much bigger influence for a couple of reasons.
A lot of research has shown that women are more a sexually fluid in terms of arousal, which is different from desiring sex (But these two things can certainly overlap). Women seem to get aroused by naked images of women than men, even if they have no desire to have sex with women. I’ll be in writing more about this later, But you could take a look at this if you like:
Women Are More Sexually Fluid
https://broadblogs.com/2015/10/05/women-are-more-sexually-fluid/
Regarding interest in casual sex, women are much more punished in our culture. You don’t see that type of punishment or reluctance in sex-positive cultures.
Repression: Not What You Think It Is
https://broadblogs.com/2014/10/27/repression-not-what-you-think-it-is/
Sex-Negative Societies & Non-Orgasmic Women
https://broadblogs.com/2016/01/04/sex-negative-societies-non-orgasmic-women/
Repression Shutting Down Sexuality
https://broadblogs.com/2016/04/11/religion-shutting-down-sexuality/
Women Are More Responsive To Repression
https://broadblogs.com/2016/04/18/women-are-more-responsive-to-repression/
I’ll be writing on women in sex-positive societies later. But you could take a look at the !Kung and Oceana for instance.
I think that might be a reason or play a big role with why a woman could also fantasize more like for a threesome with another woman, than another man. And maybe same reason a bi man has the same or more like want to two women for a threesome instead of another man. And I think it’s because if you think about threesomes with two men and a woman….they are pretty rough ha. The girl is kind of like a rag doll with two men, and even a bi man can be if it’s with two other men instead of two women. And that’s the penetration aspect like the poster above you implied. Two women having sex with a man is just “softer” than two men with a woman, as the fact of two men penetrating the woman at the sametime, (london bridge).
Yeah, even the fact that men are on average bigger and stronger could make a three-way with two men and one woman seem maybe a little more threatening to a woman. Not always, of course. Someone wrote into my blog saying she had done just that and loved every minute of it.
Interesting. I’m not usually surprised by ironic findings like this, but several of these points really are unexpected. I would have expected bi men to be interested in threesomes with other men. It might be worth it to see if a more thorough study would produce similar results.
I would have thought that bisexual man would have preferred threesomes with other men too. Like I said this wasn’t scientific but it’s interesting to see what she did find. The number of bisexual students I get isn’t high enough to do a study just with my own students. Maybe someone at a university who can get some funding could do the study.
I was surprised that you would find these numbers with any sampling.
Perhaps the reason why women are more bisexual with fluid sexuality has to do with how humankind was evolved
A woman having sex with two men has no benefit for reproduction. Whereas a man having sex with two women has a benefit for reproduction, since they can be more offsprings. Perhaps that’s why women were evolved to be more bisexual
http://www.medicaldaily.com/evolutionary-theory-sexual-fluidity-women-men-387194
Who knows?
We don’t know for sure why people become sexually fluid, or why women appear to be more fluid than men (a notion that some contest). Looking at the broadest expression — by which a woman who is normally straight might find herself actually desiring and enjoying sex with another women — evolutionary psychology has a couple of theories. Maybe our earliest mothers could gain more resources for their children — from both their male mates and their lesbian lovers — if they were sexual partners with both.
Another theory coming from this discipline suggests that an interest in sex with women may have reduced tension among co-wives in polygynous marriages, which are typically strife-filled. Where women were drawn to both their husbands and their co-wives, maybe they would have been more likely to stick around and keep reproducing.
Yet polygyny does not seem to have been common during any part of the human experience. And with regard to either of these theories it’s not clear that sexually fluid women today actually want to have sex with women. They may simply find breasts arousing without any accompanying sexual interest. Evolutionary psychology comes up with many stories to explain why things are the way they are. As I’ve written before, the theories are sometimes contradictory or even clearly wrong.
Are Women Naturally Monogamous?
https://broadblogs.com/2010/12/20/are-women-naturally-monogamous-2/
Are Men Really More Polygamous?
https://broadblogs.com/2013/06/03/are-men-really-more-polygamous/
Why We Lie About Sex Partner #’s
https://broadblogs.com/2013/06/05/why-we-lie-about-sex-partner-s/
Chimp Study: Assault Aids Procreation?
https://broadblogs.com/2014/11/21/chimp-study-sexual-assault-aids-procreation/
Racism: Genetic or Learned?
https://broadblogs.com/2013/02/01/racism-genetic-or-learned/
Black Isn’t Beautiful Claims Evolutionary Psychologist
https://broadblogs.com/2011/06/06/black-isn%e2%80%99t-beautiful-claims-evolutionary-psychologist/
impressive, detailed and informative…
Yeah, I thought her research was pretty interesting.
That’s really surprising. I was expecting to see more women wanting two men than two women.
That makes more logical sense given sexual orientation, doesn’t it, specifically that most women identify straight? But when you add culture to the mix and sexual fluidity — see the references to “happyfree…” — what Laurelle found starts to make more sense.
I don’t think having a threesome with two women and a guy makes the women gay. I would be interested in that and I don’t even identify as bi
Yeah, it can be confusing but those who study the issue say that fluidity is about arousal, Which is different from orientation. I’ve written more on the topic in these posts:
Women Are More Sexually Fluid
https://broadblogs.com/2015/10/05/women-are-more-sexually-fluid/
Sexual Fluidity, Images & Biology
https://broadblogs.com/2015/10/19/sexual-fluidity-images-biology/
Sexual Fluidity & Emotional Connection
https://broadblogs.com/2016/01/13/sexual-fluidity-emotional-connection/
That makes sense to me. I didn’t see that differenciation in the article, that’s why I was wondering
The article is a rerun, which I wrote before I knew much about sexual fluidity. But since I try to keep posts to around 500 words sometimes I and up discussing the subject through more than one post, anyway, so who knows if I would’ve included it.
Yeah much to discuss concerning topics like that
Sure is!
Well the question to me is if a woman who is interested in a threesome with another woman. If she’s kissing, touching, being sexual with said woman or her and the other woman are basically both having sex or something sexual with the guy or taking turns. The former to me is bisexual action, tendency, whereas, the latter sounds like straight to me where a woman I guess feels it’s hot pleasing her guy or something like that or playing into that fantasy. So that’s my view about happyfreeconfused’s post about being interested in a threesome as far as intent with it.
Maybe. It’s confusing. All I can do is look at how people label themselves. And how people label themselves can change over time, depending on what’s going on.
She is not talking about arousal but about sexual desire having sex with women.
If it’s not bisexuality then what is?
All I can say is take a look at my other comments. I realize that it’s confusing.
How is that possible?
That has to be bisexual in denial. Wanting to have sex with women is by definition bisexual.
In your opinion what would make a woman bisexual if not wanting to have sex with men and women?
University of Utah Prof. Lisa Diamond did groundbreaking work on sexual fluidity. She makes a distinction between “sexual orientation” which appears to be biologically-based and stable, and “arousal” which is more flexible and fluid. Dr. Dylan Selterman, a psychologist who lectures at the University of Maryland, explains it this way:
Everyone has a sexual orientation, but the degree to which a person is sexually fluid is a separate variable that operates alongside orientation. Some people are highly fluid, while others are less fluid. Sexual fluidity can be expressed as a change in which gender a person is drawn to. Straight — yet fall in love with your best friend. This shift happens only one time in your entire life, so your basic orientation is heterosexual. Or it can occur simply as a shift in sexual response.
http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2014/10/13/debunking-myths-about-sexual-fluidity.html
I’m not saying I want to have Sex with women. What is the definition of a threesome? Does there have to be Sex between all parties? What about the guy only having Sex with both women and not the women with each other?
I’m arouses by women sometimes but much less than from men. The article somewhere said something about the difference between arousal and the sexual orientation. I found that very fitting
But if a straight man wanted to have sex with another man I bet that everyone would concluded that he was gay even if he identified as heterosexual
I guess perception is not the most important point here