Women Are More Sexually Fluid

sexual fluidity-2Women seem to be more sexually fluid than men.

Queens University Prof. Meredith Chivers found that when women viewed naked bodies in foreplay, they  spent more time looking at women. 

Their bodies also responded more strongly to nude images of women than men — regardless of what they claimed on surveys.

Yet straight men were into women and gay men were into men. Whether measured by survey, blood flow to the genitals, or goggles tracking eye movement.

And have you noticed that risqué Las Vegas shows are filled with nearly-nude women, even though the audience is evenly divided between women and men? University of Nevada Prof. Marta Meana, who studies sexuality, has.

And University of Montréal researchers found that:

  • Only about 15% of women identified as non-straight, yet more than double that number —37% had fantasized about same-sex sex.
  • And if they only have to watch women make love, and not participate themselves, 42% of women had fantasized about that.
  • But only 21% of men had fantasized about gay sex — just slightly more than the roughly 15% who said they weren’t straight.
  • Only 16% of men fantasized about watching two men make love. About the same number as non-straight men.

Why is women’s sexuality more fluid? More on that soon.

Related Posts

About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on October 5, 2015, in psychology, sex and sexuality, women and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 67 Comments.

  1. Yep, it’s interesting Georgia. I wonder why.

  2. Interesting findings, overturning commonly entrenched notions… I am with those who admire Venus more than Adonis…

  3. I read a similar study to this a while back. And it tied in to bigger research concerning how beauty is perceived. It said that while women are just as observant of other women as men are, their perceptions of women as “sexy”, quite similar to a post you wrote a few days ago, are also similar to how men perceive them. That is, heterosexual men are unlikely to substantially engage in assessing the sexual attractiveness of other men, while heterosexual women tend to make such assumptions about other women, even if they may not be interested in having sex with them. In your previous post, you had talked about the idea of a woman “making love” to herself through the man’s eyes, and this research shows that women, by virtue of being the more beautiful and hence attractive, attracts the attention of other women too.

    • Yeah, this research very much ties into the post I wrote about how women often make love to them selves vicariously through a man’s eyes. I suspect that she can only do this if she is using that sexual fluidity. In order to be able to be turned on by how hot she is, she would need to have that fluidity.

  4. Wouldn’t that mean that these women are bisexual or lesbians in denial? After all they are sexually attracted to women. Isn’t that the definition of bisexual/lesbians?

    Besides that fluid sexuality doesn’t seem to apply to lesbians but only to heterosexual females.

    • Depends on whether they want to actually have sex with other women. If they are sexually fluid but have no desire to have sex with another woman then it makes no sense to say they are lesbian or bisexual. For instance, if the way it works for them is to get aroused by their own body as they have sex with their male lover – seeing themselves thru their lovers eyes – But don’t have any interest in having sex with another woman, then they are straight.

      But thanks for your comment. Another blog post idea. Lisa diamond talks about your question when she studied the issue. I’ll report on what she had to say.

      • I find this interesting because well, I think women responding to women naked as far as genital reaction. Sure some might be about women being turned on by being sexy and living through another woman’s sexiness. But the percentage of women wanting a threesome with another woman or watching, being as high as it is makes me wonder. I understand why it’s not so high for women to want a threesome with two men, because frankly, there’s just a different with two men having sex with a woman than her with two women. There’s just something overpowering when two men are havint their way with a woman.

        You said if they get aroused by their own body as they have sex with their male lover, but don’t have interest in women, then they are straight. But what about women turned on or fantasizing about women like your study shows? And remember how we talked about lesbian porn. Atleast for lesbian porn it’s probalby a small percentage of women since like you said, just a small percentage of women watch porn in general compared to the general population or compared to men. Either way, you bring up how if they don’t desire or want sex with a woman, that it’s the indicator of her straigtness regardless of her fantaszing or being turned on by naked women or love checking out or looking at naked women like the las vegas shows? To me though it doesn’t really necessairly mean a woman is straight just because of that. I look at the reason of it. For examples, I’ve seen on yahoo answers or women admitting attraction or arousal of women somtimes and bi curiosity, but they “dont’ think they’d ever have sex with a woman” or don’t want to. To me, that seems more like they don’t see the point in delvinginto something they aren’t interesting in, because of them being more attracted to men, they like how men are less emotional and lower maintenance. I’ve seen it how women nto getting involed with other women, because of saying such things.

        I know there isn’t the taboo for women romance and it’s kind of a trendy thing unlike gay men. but that doesn’t mean women will still think or want to even if some attraction. The reason I think is an emotional reason. That’s why I’m like, these women not wanting sex or not desijng women, does that really mean they actually aren’t bisexual? The reason is because I look at the factors for the no desire. I think for many women the desire for sex to a person is from a very mental, emotional stand point. Thye like the persons personality, and the characteristics, the masculionity, maybe how men have the strength and the opposite to them and the dick, etc. So they romantcially emotionallly see that and not wanting the opposite or can’t get emotionally attracted to women because of that, despite them being turned on or attracted to women’s bodies. That’s a big difference for men toward men. Like this to me when I seee the fantasies makes me think women find women’s bodies sexually attraction, if you find the same sex sexually attractive, sexy, or arousing, there isn’t really a “barrier” from you having sex as why would you be turned off or repulsed touching a naked women’s body in a sexual manner, when you find it sexy, sexually attactive and arousing? You’d probably enjoy if getting over the mental barrier or assumption.

      • One thing to keep in mind is these numbers were all about *fantasies* of having sex with woman, as opposed to the *reality* of actually wanting to do so. Many of the women in the study I cited said that they didn’t want to do the things they fantasized about in real life (that was usually in reference to domination and submission, though). And having fantasies about sex with another woman doesn’t necessarily mean she would be up for threesomes. Some of the bisexual women in my class weren’t interested in a threesome when I surveyed them — maybe jealousy and other distractions get in the way?

        So you’re wondering how a woman could get turned wrong by looking at a woman’s body and yet not be bisexual or lesbian? I just don’t know how a woman could be considered either if she had no desire to actually have sex with a woman. She’s not interested in the woman, Her body has just learned to respond to a certain signal. Maybe like men who get aroused by shoes but don’t want to have sex with the shoes? (at least I assume that don’t.)

        The emotional reaction seems to be a big thing in women determining what their sexuality is. Lisa Diamond often found that women determined their sexual orientation based on who they Felt more emotionally attached to. In some cases Women who call themselves lesbians actually enjoyed sex with men, But didn’t feel emotionally attached to them, And so didn’t think of themselves as straight or bisexual.

        A strong emotional attachment even seemed to be the thing that brought two previously straight women together.

      • You see men the emotion doesn’t matter for men. I’m not attracted to men or straight men aren’t not because simply the emotional mental part, but the physical part is the huge and I think a more true indicator of sexual orientation. Guy’s don’t want to touch otehr men sexually, because while a secure man can tell or see another is good looking or fit,men aren’t sexually attractiv rto other straight men. I don’t care if the media were to suddenly show sexualized men everywhere. It’s the reason why men are’t arousing or sexy and not sexually attractive, which is the obvious reason the thought of having sex with another man or fantasizing about a men is repulsive or a turn off for most men.

      • So culture seems to be playing a role both in terms of allowing women greater emotional depth and connection and by sexualizing women’s bodies.

  5. I wonder if part of the staring that happens is women assessing their own bodies in comparison to other women’s bodies. There does seem to be more of an acceptance for women being sexually fluid within the culture. I have male friends who actually find it a turn on if their significant other had been with a woman before, my female friends are generally less okay with it if their male partner has been with a man previously. Look forward to hearing your perspective on this.

    • Sometimes when women are staring at other women they are doing so for purposes of comparison. Probably a lot of the time. (After all, women are the sex objects in our culture and they are figuring out how they stack up.)

      But a lot of the time the staring seems to be coming out of sexual fluidity. Some of the researchers I cite did research to take account of that possibility. I’ll have to write about that in a future blog post.

      So I just made a note of that for a blog post idea. Thanks!

      • Once again if women are sexually attracted to women aren’t they by definition bisexual or lesbians? It seems that “sexual fluid” is a cutie term for bisexual/lesbian

      • It depends on how the sexual fluidity plays out. If women find themselves sexually drawn to Women and want to have sex with them then they are lesbian, or perhaps bisexual (or pansexual). But maybe a woman only learns to respond to the breast fetish but has no interest in sex with women. or maybe she has learned to find the female body eroticized in a way that is a turn on, without any accompanying desire to have sex with a woman. It doesn’t make sense to call her lesbian or bisexual.

  6. I am inclined to think that women pay more attention to naked women in a photo or video than they would to a man out of admiration rather than attraction. They identify with that woman’s body and sexuality. They admire her body and her perceived sex life, more as a vicarious thing.

    • I’m sure that what you are describing is what is happening a lot of the time. We are all a mix of our culture, Our social interactions, and our biology, so how a Woman will respond varies from person-to-person. And it does seem to Play a role in the excitement that women often feel by feeling desired by a man — a Woman can get aroused thinking about how turned on a guy is by looking at her body. If she has internalized the notion that her body is really sexy, she can feel it in a similar way to what he feels — even if she has no interest at all and having sex with a woman.

      Despite the fact that different women will experience this in different ways, overall, women’s sexuality seems to be more sexually fluid than men’s. Partly due to biology and partly due to our society. I’ll write more about that later.

  7. So that means that patriarchy teaches women what they should find attractive or not. Even though these women are straight, men are interested in seeing sexy women, so women are conditioned to want to see sexy women too and they follow it. The men want to go to see female strippers so women follow them. If the women ever wanted to see male strippers the men would never follow. If the men want a FFM threesome then women learn to want that too but if a woman wanted a MFM threesome they would never have one because the man wouldn’t want to.
    Some theories why women are more bisexual than men:
    A man having sex with two women would lead to more pregnancies, so women would have to have that fluid sexuality to want to be with another woman too. A woman with u two men wouldn’t lead to more pregnancies so there’s no point in that.
    All through history there were numerous examples of men having a harem of women. These women must have learned to be attracted to women too.
    There have never been a case where a woman had a harem of men.

    An hypothetical question:
    Is there a possibility that women could learn to sexually attracted to the male body if the media oversexualized the male body or women can’t do that?
    The tribal men show that men can learn not to be aroused by naked women. But there is no paradigm that women can learn to be sexually turned on by the male body. Could that be Nature’s safe trigger to unwanted pregnancy. Because if women were visually/sexually turned on by good looking men then they would approach men leading to many unwanted pregnancies. So women were evolved to be attracted to men’s personality but not to men’s bodies. That’s why men have to approach women and prove that they are good enough.

    • I’m not terribly convinced by evolutionary psychology. Because the reasoning can go so many ways. Some evolutionary psychologists take the exact opposite view: Women would enjoy having sex with lots of men because in such an orgy the Best sperm would win.

      I’m pretty certain that women would learn to find the male body very sexually attractive if the media eroticized it. As the media does so increasingly — even if still at a low rate — I think women are finding the male body more attractive than they had in the past.

      And it’s not that tribal men have learned not to be aroused by naked women. That’s the natural situation. You have to do certain things to make a body arousing: selectively hide and reveal, say that something is hidden because it is so sexy and then tell people don’t look, and culturally obsess over it.

  8. Very interesting study and post. Of course, being very biased as a guy ~ I think women are so much more sensual…anybody and anything would be foolish not to be attracted (no matter what their preference). Even if I say this with a little humor, I really do think it is true 🙂

  9. If men don’t have a fluid sexuality then how can it be explained that in ancient times it was very common and acceptable for men to have sex with men and the fact that the male body was considered to be the epitome of beauty?

    Besides modern society is against anything that would jeopardize men’s heterosexuality. So men could very well learn to suppress any possible attraction they might have to other men. Men learn from a young age that they have to be macho and womenizers. A man admiring another man: that could destroy his reputation. So male bisexuality seems to be non existent. If a man ever showed some fluid sexuality that would be enough to labeled as gay for life. I bet that no male students of yours would admit having fluid sexuality and statistically speaking there should be some. Only gay men are coming out.
    I know several gay men but no bisexual men.
    I wonder if society had oversexualized the male body and the male bisexuality could men be sexually fluid.
    Remember we are talking about two extreme situations. Female body and bisexuality is oversexualized and desired whereas the male body is ignored and male bisexuality is bashed.

    • I’m wondering how many of those Greek men actually had sex with other men, or if those who did were just more open about it. And, after all, the term “platonic love” Comes from Plato who was adhering to the ideal even as he said “No thanks” to actual sex with men. But some gay men have had sex with women and had children with them. Not sure how many of these guys were imagining having sex with men at the time? Just don’t have enough information to know.

      But when wired-up men looked at gay and straight porn, men who said they were gay were turned on by gay porn but not by straight porn, And men who said they were straight were turned on by straight porn but not gay porn. But women were all over the place — suggesting culture (the additional sexualizing of women’s bodies) was having an effect on the women but not the men.

      • How about the fact that the male body was considered to be the epitome of beauty in ancient times?

      • Isn’t the same thing as it is today about women seeing the female body as more beautiful than the male?
        If men didn’t have a fluid sexuality how could they possibly learn to admire the male body as more beautiful than the female body

      • I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some sexual fluidity among males. And part of the reason that women are more sexually fluid is because of the culture. And from more than one source: both the sexualization of women’s bodies and the encouragement girls get to feel connected and express emotion. I’ll write more on that later.

  10. I have wondered may times why Victoria Secrets advertises the way they do. It would seem they a are appealing more to men than women – but women have bought into the VS brand. I think women are much freer in their emotions. It is ok for women to be out of the box, to explore – apparently it is a rite of passage to have at least one g/g relationship in college – or at least acceptable to say – I had a g/g relationship in college.

    For guys- not so much. We are bound by different rules, stricter and with harsher penalties. We loose “man” points if we get out nails done, our hair done in any way other than crew cut or maybe a ponytail. Expressing an interest in anything “not male” labels us less than male and therefore – lower in status.

    I don’t agree with it – i would love to have more freedoms in fashion, expression, color – men do not excite me – but maybe one experience to say – yes, did that – not so much.

    If we had gender equality – would any of this be different?

  11. In my opinion, I think that women are more sexually accepting and more open to things than men are. When I was in high school, I would always see the so called “straight” men try to avoid the gay men in our class. Or constantly make fun of them because of their sexuality. But you would always see that these gay men were always surrounded by a ton of girls. I think that when men are asked about their sexuality, they are either accepting and open about being homosexual, or are completely trying to prove that they are straight. When they did this survey to see how men and women would react to different images it doesn’t surprise me that women would be more curious and stimulated by what you first might think.

  12. So straight women are attracted to males personality and females body?

    And if women like looking at other women then why do they get upset when their boyfriend does it?
    Isn’t that hypocritical?
    After all they like looking themselves so they should know that guys would like looking too

    • Some women describe it that way, not all of them. And that doesn’t mean that women walk around wanting to look at other women. I have experienced the breast fetish when I was younger, but don’t anymore, and I never wanted to look at other women. It’s just that if I was flipping through a magazine and I saw a naked breast I would find it titillating. But for some reason my mind never connected the breast with anything else about her. I’d just notice the titillation and move on. Nowadays the breast fetish doesn’t really affect me. And it never in my life occurred to me to look at actual women in that way. Just never thought about it. Not interesting. I think I already told you this before, so I feel like I’m repeating myself. Like you don’t get it so it’s sort of a waste of time to keep saying the same things over and over again.

  13. “So you’re wondering how a woman could get turned wrong by looking at a woman’s body and yet not be bisexual or lesbian? I just don’t know how a woman could be considered either if she had no desire to actually have sex with a woman. She’s not interested in the woman, Her body has just learned to respond to a certain signal. Maybe like men who get aroused by shoes but don’t want to have sex with the shoes? (at least I assume that don’t.)”

    Well men who are aroused by shoes, some weirdos, I think can do weird stuff with shoes, because it’s tocuhed a woman’s feet and get off on that. I think men who have a shoe fetish most often have a foot fetish. It’s like how some guys get turned on or look into women’s panties, because of their fetishy obession with women’s bodies that something touching, attached or represntijng women’s bodies or that clothing touches their favorite female body part, because an symbol or erotic image itself. So yet this attraction to shoes is all about women and their bodies.

    That’s why the lesbian porn or female fantasy doesnt make sense. Men don’t get turned on or have fantasies for shits and giggles. What a man fantasizes about is usually somethijng that turns him on and he’d love to do it, but might not because it is socially weird, or that he’d be judged for by the woman he is with or by society, so is kept underwraps and just a fantasy. Not because he wouldn’t want to do it or love it, but not worth doing with the judgment he’d have or scared of having. It doesn’t have to be what is socially unacceptable either. Many men won’t try to have a threesome even if fantasize, because they realize it could damage their relationship or hurt their SO’s feelings so not worth going through that fantasy. It doesn’t mean they don’t want ir, that’s why its a fantasy, but it;s a fantasy because it’s something that turns them on which creates desire.

    The emotional reaction seems to be a big thing in women determining what their sexuality is. Lisa Diamond often found that women determined their sexual orientation based on who they Felt more emotionally attached to. In some cases Women who call themselves lesbians actually enjoyed sex with men, But didn’t feel emotionally attached to them, And so didn’t think of themselves as straight or bisexual.”

    That’s my point. Who women felt more emotionally attached to. That’s why I can’t take it as serious when women say they are straight just because they don’t want sex or don’t desire sex with a woman. Well my mind doesn’t just stop and day “ok she doesn’t want sex with a woman, she’s straight” “It’s why does she not want sex with a woman, if it’s emotional more so like I suspect than that seems less concrete of her being straight than say a man not wanting sex with a man for the more physical reason or the main reason being physical. A man finding a man’s body not sexually attractive and not sexy and therefore, not having any desire and actually repulsed of the thought of having sex with a man, seems more legitimate than a “straight woman” not wanting sex, because a more arbitrary reason of “not feeling it or not desiring women, you know…just because”.

    Remember how they brought up accelerators and brakes to women’s arousal. Well I wonder if women’s bodies are sexy and arousing and turn her on, what is the actual “brake” from her not wanting to touch? Shouldn’t there be a brake where it would be a turn off to touch a woman sexually, because of “not being into women”, because the aesthetics of a woman’s body, is not sexually attractive therefore, a turn off to do something sexual and not interested? Like women who called themselves lebian, but were able to enjoy sex with a man? That doesn’t make sense and why I have more doubt about the labels women give themselves for their orientation. I mean they can call it what they want. But I’m more likely to take a man being straight or gay or going by the label, because it’s less arbitrary. A lesbian should be repulsed by a man’s body to like never consider or try having sex with a man if she is, That’s weird. Seems more like bisexual with a heavy leaning toward women.

    • I just talked about the shoe fetish hoping that it would help to explain. But maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know enough about shoe fetish to know for sure. All I know is that when I was a young kid, maybe nine years old, I happened to see a playboy and I found the images arousing. But it never occurred to me to want to have sex with the women. So no need for a brake. And the thing is that the breast fetish is separate from sexual orientation. Tribal men want to have sex with women but don’t experience a breast fetish. Whereas a lot of western women respond to the breast fetish yet have no desire to have sex with a woman. And I don’t know how to describe how it feels other than my guess about a shoe fetish. So I give up.

      • Tribal men want to have sex with women but don’t experience a breast fetish. Whereas a lot of western women respond to the breast fetish yet have no desire to have sex with a woman.”

        Well the difference is while these tribal men aren’t aroused from seeing women’s breasts or just from seeing naked breasts themselves, I’m sure tribal men still find breasts sexually attractive to go with the rest of the female body that they find sexually attractive too. I’m sure these tribal men probably don’t find other men’s bodies sexually attractive. So for the fantasy part, maybe arousal is conditioning in the way you described, but would fantasizing and finding women’s bodies and visually seeing the sexiness and having such a strong visual liking, kind of suggest some “sexually attraction” to women’s bodies and finding women’s bodies sexually attractive.

        To me, finding someone attractive is different than finding someone’s body sexually attractive. So if the argument is “well women are beautiful, doesn’t mean a woman is lesbian for noticing and appreciating that”. Well yeah,, true obviously. But it;s one thing seeing that, it’s another to find women sexually attractive, which would cause one to fantasize I think about them, women find other women sexy and alluring, and getting off on th e”visual” and being so visually into women’s bodies “sexual attraction” that same sex women action doesn’t repulse them but is visually pleasing and arousing. For such contradiction, my logic is that one has to find the same sexes body sexually attractive to just stare and in a way ogling the body while it’s being pleased by another woman. So what I was meaning is that what’s the basis for women not wanting sex with another woman?

        It sounds like semantics, but like a straight woman who is turned off or has no interest in lesbian porn. Doesn’t find women sexually attractive and the thought of making out or touching a woman’s body sexually and stuff, not just her vagina as a turn off. She sounds more legitmately straight and genuine if she’s not lying. A woman turned on by lesbian porn, had many fantasies of sex with a woman, but sex she’s never had sex or nor desire sex with a woman. But her reason is left out and vague, leading to what would seem like an emotional, arbitrary reason, then the reason being about not being attracted to women’s bodies and repulsed or something. That seems less concrete. It might be because I’m a guy, but I’m always going with the person who doesn’t have sexual attraction for the visual physical reasons are legitimate than emotional reasons. The reason being should be obviousl. Gender is constructed, but sex is biological right? A man can act like a girl, and woman can walk and act like a man. If I have to choose sex with one or the other. I’m still choosing the mascuiline acting woman right? The man could have the personality and feminine stuff that I might like emotionally from a woman, but it means nothing, beccause I like women’s bodies, faces, sounds, everything and feel the complete opposite of men’s bodies. It’s the body and face biologically that seperates men and women and the sex right? It’s the same reason I have and straigth men have no interest in transexuals, and they would have to be bisexual atleast to want sex with say caitlyn jenner.

      • “I’m sure tribal men still find breasts sexually attractive to go with the rest of the female body that they find sexually attractive too.”

        But you don’t really know. Maybe they would find them attractive in the same way that they find calves attractive. Or not.

        Your experience is so different from mine that I just don’t know how to explain it to you.

  14. I believe that the difference is cultural….

    In Ancient Greek homosexuality among men was a daily thing… and it was more common than lesbian relationships….

    Despite that, there could be also neurological elements involved here…
    I have just found this online…

    “Men have as much as 20 times more testosterone in their systems than do women. This makes men typically more aggressive, dominant and more narrowly focused on the physical aspects of sex” .

    “Women have a variety of sexual responses… Female sexual response may be much more complex than anyone ever guessed.” Men, she notes, tend to view sex-like many other things-in a linear way. To them, a sexual encounter is like descending a staircase that leads step by step to only one endpoint: ejaculation. Woman’s sexuality, like our ways of taking in and thinking about the world, is more holistic” .

    Source. https://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/165/

    I wonder if it could be related with a patriarchal model of expected or desired behavior when it comes to Manly models …

    A great discussion here… Thank you… Aquileana 🍀

    • I suspect that the reasons why men’s sexuality is more straightforward is both biologically and culturally based. Women face much more sexual repression and for biological reasons they seem to be more susceptible to it — more affected by repression. (I’ll talk about theories as to why later.) But when you have all of that month to step through, That’s going to create more complexity.

      Testosterone is a little less straightforward than it might seem. Men can have all of that testosterone yet not be terribly aggressive. In fact I know a lot of men who are less aggressive than their wives are. Including in my own family. And boys have less testosterone than men and yet boys are typically more aggressive — because they haven’t been civilized yet! Plus, Women are more sensitive to the testosterone that they have. And estrogen also it is related to aggression. I guess that’s not surprising since a mother bear will become very aggressive defending her baby cubs. Meanwhile our socializing forces encourage aggression in men more than women. From the time they’re little, boys are less punished for being aggressive (He’s just being boyish!). And most of our action movies and action cartoons star males.

      But you have some interesting thoughts there. Thanks for sharing.

  15. I find this particularly fascinating, honestly. While the answer to this question is incredibly open-ended, I find that some of these statistics could stem from mutual appreciation of and comfort toward other women. I’ve noticed that at slumber parties I’ve been to in the past, other (often straight or male-prefering) women have been much more okay opening up to each other when talking about sex, as well as with more intimate behaviors like squeezing each other’s breasts or commenting on how nice another girl’s thighs are. I feel like there’s less of a stigma toward intimacy between women, even if it’s without romantic or sexual intent. And yet, we see men freak out at the sight of another man’s wayward nipple. I wonder why?

    • Culturally we eroticize women more, women are allowed to be more emotionally connected and closer, and were less homophobic with women (probably because male superiority is more threatened by gay men “acting like women” than lesbians who are objectified. So culture plays a role.

  16. It’s very interesting that women were more likely to watch and experience heavier attraction to other women than men. Although men are more visually influenced than women when it comes to sexual attraction, women do experience visual attraction. I remember reading a study that most straight women were turned on by watching heterosexual and homosexual intercourse in people and animals (like bulls and cows mating) and respond higher to the images than straight men who responded less to the images, mainly those portraying human heterosexual and some homosexual intercourse. This is explained that women evolutionarily respond to more sexual stimuli and cues than men do not have, most likely as a self-protective response to avoid injury/death or infertility from unwanted penetration
    (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-sex-and-babies/201105/why-do-women-get-physically-aroused-and-not-even-know-it). This could partially explain why women respond higher to sexual stimuli, regardless of their subjective response, which could also be more likely to experience female attraction.

    Women tend to experience a lot more cultural acceptance in America to be more sexually fluid or bi-curious. Women do not have to consistently prove their worth like men who are taught to “prove their masculinity”, which homosexuality contradicts due to stereotypes taught about gay men. Homosexual women are stereotypically depicted as a masculine “butch” or a “lipstick lesbian”. Women are also statistically more likely to be bi-sexual (though they may not necessarily be out of the closet) and perhaps by naturally being more curious about their sexuality that is often repressed, along with more social acceptance, creates a healthier environment for women to research more about sexuality than men.

  17. Truly interesting findings. Chanelling a straight female perspective: Could it be that females have suppressed their sexual urges towards other women; but have naked women bombarding their everyday lives that they feel compelled to have an interest? It would make sense that because of the constant use of female nudity all over the media that women would subconsciously want to explore what is ‘forbidden’ to them. Women are told to suppress a lot of other emotions towards sex that it wouldn’t be to odd. Men also have this pull in society noting to women that any female on female sexual interaction is considered sexy and makes the women more desirable if she were to partake in that. I also think that it is because women are so publicized as sex objects that, that is all society makes people male or female desire, a woman.

    • Since men have to learn the breast fetish, too (you don’t find it in tribal societies) I suspect that this is what happens: both women and men end up learning it, but then a lot of straight women end up suppressing what they have learned. Or, they get into competition mode which makes it completely disappear as it’s overtaken with thoughts of, “I hate her, she looks better than me” or “feeling superior, I look better than her.”

  18. I am glad I came across this post. I am a straight 20 year old women and I have only ever been sexually attracted to men. With that being said I have found this article true to me, even though I am straight and only have been in a relationship with men, I do find women very attractive and when there is a naked women and man on the screen I tend to pay more attention to the women. I always thought it was strange because I am straight but I do get aroused by girl on girl action. I do not find boy on boy action attractive and when it is a female and male doing something i still pay attention to the female. In general, I get more aroused by the female with pictures or videos than I do with the male body. But in person I do not get aroused by the female body but I am aroused by the male. I find this very strange and I am curious why my body response the way it does.

    • You are most definitely not alone. And I went through the same thing: unable to figure out why I found the images of naked women a bit titillating when I had no interest in having sex with a woman. Very confusing until I was trained sociological social psychology which teaches that for humans most of the world is symbolic (learned) — as opposed to innate — meaning. It probably helps to explain why women so often are focused on themselves — how they look — more than how their partners look when they are in bed. But there is a symbolic-biological interplay in that there appears to be biological reasons as to why women’s sexuality is more fluid. I’ll talk about that more later.

      • that for humans most of the world is symbolic (learned) — as opposed to innate —”

        A lot is innate. Is sexual attraction, heterosexual attraction not innate? I don’t believe it’s choice for people who are truly straight or gay. You can teach me since a child about guys and I’ll still be attracted to women and not men. I know it since I was a child, didn’t have to be taught it. Anger is an innate natural emotion, how it’s used can be conditioning. But there are biological reasons for such specific emotions and a lot is due to survival. The fight or flight response ingrained in humans to take on a threats. I think culture ‘exaggerates” natural tendencies to where they can be fetishsized or obsessed about but still there or just exaggerated more.

        Like boys and girls are taught by colors and toys, masculine and feminine so there is conditioning that divides boys and girls and men and women. But I do believe there is a natural inclination though it wouldn’t be as exaggerated or a part between men and women between masculine and feminine traits. But I do believe there is a natural biological tendency for boys and men to naturally have more masculine tendencies and personaloty and women feminine regardless of conditioning. There was a study where babies or toddlers of boys and girls were given toys to play with, both “boy” and “girl” toys. Sure some liked both. But generally more boys did naturally gravitate toward boy toys and girls, girl toys. These kids were not trained previously by parents of girl and boy stufff and it just happened naturally.

        It makes sense with hormones and being different sex that men and women aren’t exactly alike. Think of how women and men walk and talk, lift things, mannerisms, speech, body language. Some is learned or maybe what is expected, but also other is just is innate.

      • Some things are innate, but then society shapes them, for instance:

        The sex drive is innate, but what is considered sexy varies from place to place: pear-shape, Popsicle shape, skinny versus plump versus obese, various fetishes: breasts and shoes, Spike heels… Women’s clothing is thought of a sexy but it doesn’t need to be for any innate reason. And then there’s the double standard which represses female sexuality. Women’s sexuality appears to be more fluid and it’s probably for cultural reasons, Which I will discuss very soon. So those are just a few examples.

        Looking at sex/gender, testosterone creates more muscle in men. But then we exaggerate the difference by encouraging women to be skinny and men to be muscular, we encourage men to participate more in sports, And we celebrate the sports that men are best at (Women are better in some sports: 24 hour races, Marathon swimming, many gymnastics events like balance beam and anything involving flexibility.) And that is all based on our symbol of what it means to be a man: Strong, muscular, Athletic — a symbolic idea that we reinforce via all the things I just discussed, And more.

        If you look at mannerisms, Even those are influenced by our symbols. Men are expected to be confident and assertive, and men take up more space in the way they sit, stand, and walk. Women learn to take up less space. Even though they’re perfectly capable of standing, sitting, and walking in the way men do.

    • What’s the difference for you? Why is are women’s bodies a turn on in pictures and video, but not in person? Aesthetically it’s the same is it not as far as visually? As man it’s hard for me to see the difference or why there is a difference? Can you explain it? Like what it is. The women enjoying themselves and what they are feeling and maybe imagining yourself or the “sex symbol” or the sexiess of lesbian action as far as what you imagine how it stirs up a man watching that turns you on and the bodies themselves aren’t turning you on? If that’s the case, why are women eating each other out and such, not a “brake” for you arousal and the sight of that, when they aren’t supposedly sexually attractive?

      For me, how can something be appealing on pictures and tv, not be appealing in person? Usually the two are related. A person who likes hambugers, well there’s the visual aspect of them being appetizing or loooking it when seeing one right in front, of you and it can bring on hunger of not present for that moment. But also, because you like burgers, and the visual representation of it. I’m pretty sure what is shown on tv is pretty similar to the real thing and even though it’s not literally in front of you, do you not want it? Well yeah, because the only difference is one is right there in front of you literally and one is on screen, but visually they are the same so they create the same response. What’s the difference seeing a naked women on tv vs in person when the bodies are the same as well as the body parts?

  19. I agree with this article one hundred percent. Women are more likely to sway both ways compared to men who are normally either one or the other. I believe this has to do with the stereotypes that our society has of both men and women and how they are suppose to act and think. Men are thought to be: manly, strong, aggressive, “pervy”, and powerful; where women are thought to be: sensitive, kind, caring, emotional, weak, and classy. Since there is this difference of characteristics, I think that society has molded each sex to think differently about what is attractive and what isn’t. The female body is shown as beautiful where as the male body is not shown as much; this could be why women are drawn more to women because women are beautiful. Another reason I think this could happen is because women will look to other women to see what they can do to make themselves better looking.

    • Yeah women can look at women for both reasons you mentioned. One of the researchers set up a study to see if comparison was the only thing going on, and she found evidence that often times it’s not just comparison. I’d have to we look at her research to remember how she separated out the two possibilities.

  20. You know I just brought up the Ancient greece thing and how it’s more of an ego thing. But maybe a lot of it is due to culture and men could be as fluid, but recent culture has shaped men to be more rigid with their orientation and women more fluid. But there are some hints that I see, which make me wonder with some guys. This fluidity in men doesn’t show up with porn or visual stuff. But there are plenty of things where guys do some quenstionable stuff, but like sport or competition or hazing is a “guise” to their homoerotic action, and where it’s acceptable as long as in a macho instance or to humiliate, due to homophobia. Ironically homophobia and homoerotic stuff are intertwined and some of the homophobic guys ironically due some interesting stuff. Well a worker I was talking to, well he;s not homophobic, but we were talking about college. Neither of us are in college anymore, but he was talking about a frat game he was part of. It’s a real thing, he was serious, luckily me not being part of afrat never saw it or part of it. But I know it;s legit because I talked another dude from another job I work with talking about this game and he’s only 20 and he knew what it was.

    I doubt all colleges maybe just some did it, but it’s enough to make me think about some guys actions ha. It’s popular enough for people know of it. Anyway it’s called “soggy crackers”. To me it’s pretty much a “hazing” game. But it doesn’t matter. Apparently because for men as long as their “gay action” results in humiliating another, well for a frat it’s an initiation thing for new comers. But I won’t get into detail but I told him, it’s gay. I didn’t judge him, and I don’t care, but seriously it’s gross the game. And that’s why I brought it up, because for what I can see he’s straight but played a game with other straight dudes, doing gay stuff to in pov and others guys I talked to when bringing it up. Anyway so you have this, not to mention what paddling another dudes butt, that’s an old frat thing. I think of all these things where women are the bisexuales and fluid, but guys invented these things. I know it;s just sportsmanship, but the butt slap in sports. Women do it too now, but guys in sports do it much more often. That’s tame though, but its interesting that you brought up the speedo thing on recent post. I was fliiping through channels the other day and came across WWE, that pro wrestling stuff. I haven’t watched it since I was a kid, but I just watched for a quick moment and saw the wresters. I always found it interesting how men in speedos is gay at beach and most times, but for whatever reasons there are exceptions. WWE wrestlers are essentially wearing speedos and sexualized, but women and men aren;t botheed and don’t see it as gay. Swimming is the other exception to with speedos, because people undestand the performance aspect of men wearing speedos and them helping.

    but back to WWE, which millions of people watch worldwide, kids of course, but also men and women. More men obviously, but many women too. Anyway, I say this not because it bothers me or a diss to it, as I stopped watching it along time ago, because it’s silly to me, not because it’s homoerotic. But I understand and do feel there is definitely a homoerotic undertone. Not what simply the men are wearing, but thinking about the “flamboyancy of the outfits like Ric Flair, Shaw Michaels. Their flashing, sparkly outfits and personalities. There are straight men and I always felt these straight men get in weird positions and holds with each other and pins, etc. They aren’t gay, well some might have kink in their arrow atleast or in the closet gay. But It makes sense even tho the real sport of wrestling is actual competiton, the real sport of wrestling has a homoerotic origin. Ancient greece and let’s not forget I believe sports in ancient greece and olympics were competed in the nude. So yep, ancient greek men who competed in wrestling were wrestling each other nude…homoerotic stuff there, though there was no such thing as gay straight thenm which points probably to as much male fluidity but more rigid in modern times as homophobia came over and religion condemning homosexual acts, etc. Some say you could see that in most sports. but I don’t agree, Sure football guys are tackling and stuff, but they are hitting each other and it happens they fall on each other. I think the biggeest difference is men playing pro football are not only wearig clothes, but completey covered up. It pro football was played with men in nothing but speedos then I’d agree. I mean women play in all these sports, but still now and then, it’s men who decided out of competiton, but still it was men who had a strong desire to having this close contact with each other.

    • If you want me to comment on this you will have to be more concise.

      • I’ll try to summarize. Women seem more fluid, But a couple things came to my mind about the “gay things” straight guys do, that’s social acceptable because it’s a sport, a masculine act or in humiliation.It’s weird, because even though women are more affectionate to each other and more comfortable, in other ways there are things that guys do that girls don’t do. Guy’s kind of invented the butt slap for sports though some girls do it on teams, it’s still much more popular for men. Hazing things guys do to each other. Ok so there’s somethijng called “soggy crackers” popular or apparently popular enough in college or frats that I’ve asked others about it and they heard of it. I won’t give the detail it’s a gross, definitely “gay” game played by straight dudes because it’s a fun hazing oriented game. I believe there are other gayish hazing frat rituals too.

        And what I was getting into is wrestling. Not now, but the origin and homoeroticism to the origin. Ancient Greece is where it originated as well as other sports and men competed naked in these sports and the olympics. So there’s something to think about, even though it might have been “competitoon” ancient greek wrestling was men basically wrestling each other naked. But then though I don’t watch WWE wrestling, I remember as a teen I did a little as many teens have. And I know the guys are straight most of the stuff I saw was for entertainment andsuch. I always found some stuff of it as “peculiar”

        There is an homoerotic undertone for WWe wrestling or stuff like that. Though ironically most viewers are straight boys or men and many probably homphobic. Though I think there is a decent number of women who watch too seeing from the audience, etc. We brought up how speedos look gay yet nobody thinks it is,and it’s an except for WWE wrestling for most men to wear speedo like trunks, If that wasn’t peculiar enough. Thee flashy, sparkly outfits from the men and “flamboyant” personalities of these straight male wrestlers. And some of the pins, and wrestling moves too. So it’s more discreet and while women have this fluid visual aspect with porn, it makes me think about it being that way more so because of innate. But like I said I’m doubting it, considering the stuff from men in the past and even homoerotic stuff nowadays, that’s more hiddenr or discrete, but undertones in somethings wheter symbollicaly or literally.

      • You make some interesting points. Reminds me of something I read in Michael Kimmel’s Guyland, where he talked about homoeroticism and fraternities – their hazing. I’ll have to go back and see what he had to say about it.

        And culture does seem to be part of the reason for the sexual fluidity of women in modern society’s.

  21. “I’m sure tribal men still find breasts sexually attractive to go with the rest of the female body that they find sexually attractive too.”

    But you don’t really know. Maybe they would find them attractive in the same way that they find calves attractive. Or not.

    Your experience is so different from mine that I just don’t know how to explain it to you.”

    Fact of the matter is tribal men still find women’s bodies sexually attractive and sexy visually and most likely not men’s bodies. So there’s still a visual attraction, and apparently more clear for men and still more straight forward legit visual attraction regardless of fetish. How can women be “straight” and I’m not talking about breast fetish, as you described, because that can just be a reaction to something. I’m not talking about like vaginal lubrication whihc can be due to a response not related to mental. But fantasies and other stuff where women mentally turned on, like you know how men are when seeing a women, which then can cause a boner.

    But these women obviouslly find women’s bodies sexually attractive for that mental turn on and sexually attracted to women, yet are straight because they don’t want sex? Well it has to be for other arbitrary reasons, because a key thing that someone needs if they ever can or want to have sex with anyone is to find that person, opposite sex or same sex, is their body to be sexually attractive. Women are already halfway there. For men, we don’t ever want sex with a man, not for some arbirtrary reason that we don’t want sex, but because men aren’t sexually attractive to us. And no it’s not necessarily a homophobic thing. Homophobic guys can’t admit a man is attractive or good physique. But I’m talking about sexually attractive, not attractive.

    Because men don’t find men’s bodies sexually attractive. So that would repulsive for a straight man, because the thought of touching someone not sexually attractive is like thinking about drinking piss, or doing something you are completely not interesed in or don’t want to do. Why do women get visually into women’s bodies like lesbian porn and “enjoy” it when not desiring women? Like what is the “brake” as in actually having sex with a woman? Because that brake for a man is the visual,as in simply seeing his body, not finding it sexy or sexually attractive or not all that attractive and knowing he wants nothing to do with it and the same reason he doesn’t enjoy gay porn or watch male nudity, because the reason he’s not sexually attracted to men, is because well, men’s bodies are not sexually attractive to him. It’s like very straight forward and logical, and no contradiction. Why are so many things of women like contradictions and complicated where they make no sense? I don’t think culture could cause this from men even if things were reversed. There would be more men appreciative of the male form and less homophobic, but still men would still be aroused by women and still find women sexier. Just men would be able to find men more attractive and pay more attention to men’s physiques than before.

    • But what you say is the fact of the matter is not a fact of the matter.

      As to the rest of your question, I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it. Anything I come up with would just be a theory/Guess.

    • Your repeated assertion that all hetero men are never attracted to the male physique and universally find other males “repulsive” gives the impression you are protesting a bit too much. Sexuality is not nearly as uniform and predictable as some insecure straight guy might want to insist it is. Within all of us reside specific preferences, fetishes, turn ons and tastes. The more tjose deviate from what is socioculturally acceptable the more we hide or deny them, even when promised anonymity. As a gay man who is perceived as highly masculine due to my size, voice and demeanor, Ive been with enough straight males (closet cases, too, and I can easily tell the diff by now) to know that you are dead wrong in your self serving assumptions that legitimately hetero guys are never drawn to nor experiment with other guys. Completely false. I have had sex with many women and none of them individually nor collectively have done a thing to make me anything other than a gay man. Likewise, the straight guys Ive been with were not “turned gay or bi” simply on the basis of their sexual contact with me. A horny guy can and will get it on with just about anyone regardless of there being zero capacity to have romantic or intimate emotional feelings. Women who experiment with each other, on the other hand, often do so because it makes them “hot” in the eyes of males, not because theyre horny. Truth is, behind closed doirs males are the more genuinely sexually fluid gender.

      • I’m not an insecure straight guy. If I was, I couldn’t or wouldn’t acknowlege if another man is good looking or handsome or has a good physique. I can, but many guys can’t or not secure to seeing that. But despite that, men are not sexually attractive to me. Many secure straigth guys I know feel the same way. Those guys do have bisexual tendencies if they had sex with you, a man. You look at it from the wrong perspective. You see, well if a person is otherwise living a straight or gay life, they are that. Not true. It just means they have a straight or gay preference and stick with that, because that’s what they prefer and want, but it doesn’t mean they don’t have sexual attraction to the same sex, they just have more to the opposite sex so they have no need to go back or just carry on with their straight life. By definition sexual attraction is part of sexual orientation.

        And that’s messed up to say, like men are animals, that a horny guy can and will get it on with just about anyone. I have been quite horny and would never do anything with a man, my eyes tell me all the information I need in that regard. Doesn’t mean I would have sex with any woman either. But I could have sex with a woman not my type and who I’d otherwise ignore if horny enough. But I still wouldn’t do just any woman, and definitely not do any man, no matter his looks.

  22. I do not believe female sexuality is inherently more fluid than male sexuality. Any study claiming that it is is not sufficiently factoring in sociocultural influences. Humans seem unique in that it is the females who adorn and “puff up” their physical appearance to compete for male attention. Because hetero males are the dominant population worldwide in terms of power, their perspectives and preferences are most entrenched, pervasive and influential. This is why all society is bombarded by sexualized images of females far more often than males resulting in all people including females finding the naked female form more arousing than that of a male. As for sexual fluidity and same sex experimentation, it is particularly condemned among males not only because hetero males fear that if they acknowledge and accept it that they are by default admitting to being capable of same sex experimentation themselves but that condemnation is then doubly intensified by hetero females who have been conditioned to believe that their greatest most powerful asset is their ability to attract and arouse males. The truth is hetero males particularly when young experiment sexually with other males at a rate they themselves will not cop to even anonymously. Society’s double standard which allows females the freedom to be sexually active with each other with little to no threat of being labeled lesbian while males are unable to admit to even a single incident of the most benign same sex contact without being hostiley labeled as definitively gay or bi keeps these staight guys on the down low. Being hetero must be miserable. So many lies between the genders, all that mars venus bullshit.

    • I don’t know for sure whether women are inherently more fluid. And I do mention social factors. Just exploring what is known so far. The only thing that makes me think that women could be more inherently fluid is that Women seem to be more likely to learn the breast fetish then gay men. And that could be because of men’s sex drive being higher and stronger on a more constant basis. Which is likely an actual sex difference. Although because nurture affects nature, And women’s sexuality is more punish and repressed, maybe women’s sex drive would be higher and stronger in a different, More sex-positive society.

  23. Jean Claunde

    If men have a rigid sexuality because of biology then how can one explain that in ancient times men were attracted to the male body and they considered it more attractive than the female body?
    Where were the biological rules that make men more rigidly heterosexual?

    • I didn’t say that is impossible for men to have flexibility. In our culture we don’t seem to have enough stimulus/incentive to create flexibility in men. It does seem to be harder for men to experience flexibility. Due to biology.

  24. Before I go into my thoughts, I just want to say I immensely appreciate your blogs; you have indicated a lot of credible and relatable information that sharpens what I once found to be a haze of confusion about my own sexuality, and many other topics you have talked about clear up what most people don’t realize in terms of how culture can affect one’s sexuality.

    I’ve read a few or a couple of your topics about sexual fluidity (I think I may have commented on one of them before, but possibly didn’t submit it at the time). I’m familiar with the Meredith Chivers experiment, and the reason for women being aroused by every sex signal they see indicated as a means of the body protecting itself, lubricating for particular situations, like rape (if I remember correctly). It sounds weird and irrational when I explain it that way because it jumps from stimulation to that the stimulation is for protection in a non-threatening situation — but you’ve explained it much better in a way it makes sense. I just want to add my own speculation on sexual fluidity between men and women, because I definitely agree with a lot of what you say in regards to why men may not be as sexually fluid as women. I think what you have indicated is true, but another thing I think you acknowledge very well is how culture and social expectations affect how we respond to the way we perceive things in the world.

    So to start off, while women may respond to all sex signals, I do see the difference in how our culture treats fluidity with men and women. It’s not necessarily directly noticed or “taught” and it’s complicated in a way, but when you think about it, our culture accepts women being sexually attracted to women and it’s funny, because the moment a girl or a woman indicates she’s sexually attracted to a woman, it’s accepted much more and in fact, depending on who you’re sharing that with, it’s seen as normal or okay (because for one: it’s seen as sexy or sexually arousing, two: it’s one of those things our culture encourages (outside of religious views) or accepts from a woman because for some reason male homosexuality is shamed much more than female homosexuality). And in this way, funny as I said, it’s okay for women to experience lust for a woman but not a man.
    Now with male sexuality, it’s inadvertently taught that men’s sexuality must be fixed and directed to only one gender, otherwise their sexual orientation is questioned. (I say inadvertently because it’s not something we really can notice and I’m not very sure “taught” is the right word, but it’s somehow and somewhere in our culture, presumed). But with women, we see that if a woman is straight but is sexually attracted to a man, it’s normal and nothing to ponder on because (I have heard and have been told) women are naturally bisexual, or it’s simply okay for a woman to explore her sexuality, espcecially toward another woman rather than a man (in real life for that matter). Men don’t really have that privilege. So when it comes to gay men not being affected by the social constructs of the fetishization of women, it could partly be because that there is this internalization that if you are in any way sexually attracted to a woman when you are a homosexual man, you can’t claim to be gay. Also, I would like to share that some gay men are turned on by women, but similar to hetero women who respond sexually to women, they don’t desire a sexual or romantic relationship with them. I’ve only seen a few incidences of this. But I think it’s a result of these different cultural expectations and forms of conditioning; depending on who you are and what you’re exposed to in your life determines what you learn, if that makes sense.

    I also would like to hear more on your take to gay men being visually stimulated by male bodies. Personally, I think it’s due to how male sexuality is treated. Sure, gay men get shamed for being sexually attracted to men, but they are not shamed for having sexual desires. And when the male body is eroticized or sexualized, it’s obviously directed to homosexual men, not women.

    I’d like to know your thoughts!

    • Thanks! I hope I can help.

      I agree with your thoughts in how you have described them.

      You mentioned that our society shames male homosexuality more than female homosexuality. I think that there are a couple of reasons for that. First, it’s similar to accepting tomboys more than sissies. Because we value men and masculinity more than women and femininity, When a woman or girl acts “like a man” (being assertive, showing leadership… And in the past, wearing pants) She is lifting her status if anything. But when a man “acts like a woman” (wearing a dress, acting in a feminine way, Having sex with men) he is seen as demeaning himself. Second, female homosexuality seems to turn a lot of men on, keeping them as sex objects. That’s not threatening.

      So yeah, we as a culture make a much bigger deal about the notion that men’s sexuality is fixed. And then that can’t have cultural effects: men less likely to admit bisexuality, And more likely to be in denial about it, And everyone simply being less accepting of it.

      And if we think that all women are naturally bisexual, that can benefit men with #2 above.

      And it’s interesting that you point out that some gay men do seem to be turned on by women. Maybe her sample size was small and didn’t capture those men. But one gay man did tell me that he had experienced arousal toward breasts. And I have talk to and also read about women who say that gay men will come up and start fondling her breasts, And act like that is okay because “They are gay.” The women certainly don’t think that this assault on their bodies is okay. But getting back to the point about men learning the fetish, Even if they’re gay, Why bother to fondle women’s breasts unless you had learned the fetish to some degree? Still, they have no desire to have sex with these women. The interest is focused solely on the breasts.

      You make a good point about the fact that women, but not men, are shamed for sexual desire, which has the effect of lowering desire for women. Also, it could be that man perceive sexualized images as being for themselves, Whether those images are Male or female, Which could help explain why gay men seem to get more aroused by the male body. Especially until just the last few years, sexy men were often perceived as “gay” by women. So it may be hard to get aroused when you get distracted by that thought. Instead of hot it seems weird. On the other hand, Men are taught to eroticize bodies.

      Research has also shown that lesbian women’s sexuality is more repressed than gay men’s. So that could also have an effect.

      Someone else was asking me to write more on this topic and I might incorporate some of your points and some of mine. So thanks for your thoughtful comment!

Thoughts? (Comments will appear after moderation)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: