Men Wanting Magnetic Power Over Women
If you’re straight, at some point you realize that,
The opposite sex has enormous power over you. They can break your heart, control your actions, completely dominate your thoughts, and (let’s be honest) basically turn off your brain.
So says Noah Brand.
He makes me think of guys who have complained on my blog that women don’t find men attractive. And they yearn to weld the same magnetic power over women that women have over them.
Brand says that because men are seen as utilitarian instead of attractive some guys turn to a magic book of spells, like pickup artist manuals:
Just as it’s easiest to sell quack remedies to people without access to real medicine, it’s easiest to sell magic charms to people who can’t believe they have any charms of their own.
The problem may lie in understanding “attractive” only as “objectified” and “fetishized.” Women certainly can — and do — find men attractive. But since the male body isn’t “ified” or “izied” in either of those ways, the draw isn’t quite so intense. (This is one reason why porn sells a lot more to men than to women.)
But men might be surprised to learn that plenty of women wish that they were magnetic, too. Because 80% of women have poor body image and beleive they are nowhere close to holding the power of the “knock out” that men find so “stunning.”
But these women and those men don’t get that really, there’s a huge downside to the one-dimensional draw. Even if it’s powerful.
Marilyn Monroe complained that she was often seen as just a body, when she yearned to be so much more.
Or, I recently posted thoughts from one of my students who liked her breasts, but who often covered them because she wanted men to like her — not just her boobs.
Therapist Mary Pipher specializes in treating adolescent girls and believes that the luckiest ones are those who aren’t overly or underly attractive. The latter are ignored, while the former are used for their bodies and status.
And many of us don’t get that we needn’t be fetishized to be attractive. Or that better lives and relationships come when we aren’t objectified.
It’s a bit like the wayfarers of Oz. We actually do have what we need. Men have the power to attract women. And women have the power to attract men.
Posted on July 11, 2016, in body image, men, objectification, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, women and tagged body image, men, men are utilitarian, men aren't attractive, objectification, Pick up artists, psychology, relationships, sex, women. Bookmark the permalink. 34 Comments.