Hooking Up Deprives Women of Marriage?
Women should stop hooking up because it stalls men’s maturity and keeps them from getting married. A lot of young women will never marry because men can get sex without commitment.
That’s what what a young man told me a few weeks ago.
If he’s so worried, why not tell MEN to stop hooking up because their behavior stalls their maturity and the stability of family life in America? Leaving men deprived of marriage, too.
Why doesn’t he want women hooking up?
The fact that he only calls on women to limit themselves reminds me of other calls for women to practice self-restraint:
- As women gain power and status in India they face higher levels of sexual harassment and rape — along with warnings to stay out of public space
- An Indian official told women to stop using cell phones to protect themselves. (That wouldn’t actually protect women. But it would limit them.)
- As women increasingly demand their rights in Egypt, sexual harassment and rape are on the rise there, too
- Around the world women are told to dress modestly to protect themselves. Conforming teaches them to obey
Gee, I see a pattern here.
Telling women, but not men, to restrict themselves from casual sex says something about who is free and who is not. Men may have as much sex as they like, but women had better watch themselves!
Lest they wind up lonely old maids.
Really, he needn’t worry
But he needn’t worry his pretty little head anyway, since:
- Hook up culture is a myth. (College students think everyone is hooking up every weekend. Yet after four years students average just seven different hookups — and only 11% of them enjoyed it.)
- 84% of Americans feel that having a successful marriage is “very important” or “one of the most important things” in life. And men and women don’t rate the priority of a successful marriage differently.
- Both men and women want to get married. But they want to wait until their 30s, when they’re financially stable. They see their 20s as “me-time” and their 30’s as “family time.”
- A desire for soulmates is nearly universal these days, says history professor Stephanie Coontz.
And if you don’t want to marry, it’s only a big deal if there’s a big gap between women and men, and I don’t see that.
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Posted on July 29, 2015, in men, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged hookup culture, men, psychology, relationships, sex, sexism, sexuality, women. Bookmark the permalink. 40 Comments.