Conversationally I have many traits of a romantic in said places as I have to be where I can be myself or feel comfortable. But I have the outgoing ness, charm and flirting ability as a Casanova. I’m not cocky outwardly or like that way, but have or can have a cockiness to my humor that I know how to blend. Like theses a month mix of wit with the cocky humor, like slight smartassery ha. But not much as I often find people who are too much smart ass as obnoxious or if they aren’t funny as they think it gets annoying.

Growing up in different culture things have been different from my points of view. In fact, in my culture people tend to tell if a man is responsible if he has a wife and children and can provide for them. In my mind, it is already clear that I don’t have to play and at the opposite settle down which is great. But this can also lead to bad things. Instead of looking for love you look fro a woman just to please everybody. There is too much pressure on both sides to find love and be happy. especially for women. In my culture, it can be okay to have sex without the close circle of marriage if you are a man. I mean by that, that everybody knows what everybody does without really talking about it. But for women, it is really different. In fact, they don’t have to show that they are having sex if they have sex before mairage.

During the holidays a few of my family members and I sat down together and had one of our random debates that eventually lead to the topic of “Hooking up” and having a casual partner with no strings attached. My Aunt expressed her sympathy for the younger generation including my generation that no longer dates, but instead seems to “hook up.” This family discussion reminded me of the Casanovas of the world. It lead me to ponder, are the number of Casanova’s out there increasing while the Romantics of the world are slowly disappearing, or at least on break for a while? My brother who is in high school, has told me constantly how everybody or nearly the majority of his classmates start out their relationships with casual hook ups, that will eventually turn into a relationship or sizzle out. I have casually hooked up with a few boys and it never worked out in my favor. I now, know I prefer to start out my relationships with communicating that I do not want to “hook up”, I want to date, and then go from there.

So based on what I’ve read, I’m a romantic guy. I’m not sure if romantic is a right word since I’m not quite romantic. I don’t feel the need of getting girls, I just let things go naturally. If I find the girl that make me love her. I’ll go for it. As I mentioned, it looks like a nice guy like me often be friendzoned but I don’t care much. I just have a simple thinking, go for it, tell her whatever I feel about her even I fail I wont regret. There is nothing to regret since I haven’t owned her so I can’t “lose” her anyway. If she doesn’t like me, she will just gently walk out of my life or I will walk out of her way. So overall, the categories are pretty accurate about types of men. In addition, it’s also true about every guy wants to have a relationship rather than one night stand. I know a guy that he was too nice and got turned down by many girls. Then he acted like a player and got tons of girls just for fun and just to revenge for women for turning him down when he was a nice guy. All those 3 categories have a link somehow, like before being the players, some men were a good guys.

This article is actually really thought provoking for me. I guess perhaps it’s just how the media portray guys it seems like most guys in college are casanovas.Well I guess that’s the stereotype of what guys are like in college. However I’m discovering that more guys are actually Religious or Romantic. Perhaps it’s simply because I don’t go to bars to meet guys so I’m straying away from the casanovas. Through out this quarter I noticed that more guys were actually saving themselves for someone special or marriage. Partly for religious reasons and personal morals. Which for me was not something i guess i expected from guys. I think because the media portray them in a certain way that it makes us, the viewers, believe that it must be true for the majority of the people. But in today’s society I guess it’s more okay for guys to not be really masculine so they’re not all trying to get laid. However I think it’s pretty funny how a way to know where the guys fit is to know how many sexual partners they’ve had. Which I suppose isn’t a normal question to be ask in a regular conversation.

I think that some of these classifications of men – as mates – rely on several generalizations that can easily cloud one’s judgment., but to be fair a man should not be called a player. But, like you stated, it takes all kinds. Ultimately, these stereotypes can be applied to women and men, but remain just that: stereotypes.

That’s not to say that there is no truth to these. My husband very clearly fits into the Religious category. But I have had ex-boyfriends and male friends who developed from one of these to another, and I think there comes a point where each can change (if necessary or desired). It saddens me how often we (women) blame ourselves for being “incapable” of inspiring a Cassanova to become a Romantic, when this change has to happen organically.

I found this blog to bd very informative for myself in my younger years. If only I had been able to read this post then. I was raised by a very religious aunt and a very promiscuous and party going mother. I was so very confused as to how sex and relationships would fit into my life to say the least. I had one telling me I would forever be tarnished if I even thought about a man and the other bouncing around from man to man. When I finally decided to date I went after all the wrong ones. Now that I read this blog I find that I gave a lot of my time as a young woman to a man that was a cassanova. He had be at the palm of his hands and he was so smooth about everything. I was too afraid to listen to my gut because I thought I “loved” him. I found out later down the line and now that i am reading this post that he was not the one for me.

This blog reminded me a lot of the different friends I had growing up, people I’ve dated and my current boyfriend. I couldn’t find this to be more true. I completely agree with the Casanova statement about how they are more likely to cheat although they do care and like the person they are with, they aren’t committed to them. I don’t believe they will be like that forever, but until they want to stop being that person, I’ve usually heard “I’m just having my fun for now”, unfortunately the whole condom thing is very true and for some reason these people seem to think they are immune to such STDs or aren’t educated enough to really care about the consequences. I don’t have any religious friends but I do have some who do want to wait for marriage to have sex, not because they are told to but they just want to save their self for that special person which is highly respectable, it doesn’t mean the girl has to be a virgin herself, but I think in those cases they have a better chance if they are one. I consider my boyfriend a romantic. He was very shy when we first met and although I knew he liked me, he respected me and made it clear that his goal was getting to know me, not get into my pants. I think it’s unfair in some cases where if a male makes a compliment or does something nice for a girl, we usually label them as creeps, or they are all players. I’ve seen too many women complain about not being able to find the right guy yet a lot of the time they are right in front of you, as this blog says, they’re usually friend zoned

There’s a price to pay being a player and sometimes why promiscuity is or can be risky even for men. You say how it’s stupid for players to not wear condoms, which it is. But I think they don’t because overconfidence and feeling immune and because of the fact that condoms do suck. A lot of men aren’t comfortable wearing them and they do lessen a man’s sensation as far as feeing with sex. But it’s still not enough of a reason to not wear condoms as the consequences are too big to not wear condoms. But condoms don’t do everything though to the person above.People seem to think condoms make them immune or they can be just randomly have sex with anybody or as many without their being a chance of consequences. People forget that condoms don’t prevent herpes, which is one of the worst stds because its uncurable. People can still get herpes even if using condoms, Don’t forget mono from making out with a bunch of random chicks, that’s not something to take lightly either,.

I do believe the categories can over lap or maybe one can lead to the other and the other and so forth. However, in my personal experience I have been mostly on the category of the romantic. I was never very religious, spiritual yes, but not religious and therefore, although I strongly respect people who think that way, I never saw the necessity of giving too much importance of saving one’s body until marriage. I always felt that when love is involved and it’s mutual that is all that is needed in order to give one’s self to another person. Also the idea of the “Casanova” (Again I respect everyone’s choices) always seemed so overwhelming. For example, trying hard to impress a woman by exposing over confidence, having as only goal to sleep with her without the intention of getting to know her or even seeing her again sounds exhausting and wrong. I believe intimacy is far more interesting and fulfilling that just plain sex. Also, we live in a society that tends to praise more that life style and we often fail to realize that this is part of the reason why we might be less likely to respect women. This is not to say that women do not have a saying if they participate in encounters like this and it’s only up to the man, of course not, because women have the absolute right to do this as well, however when this happens we judge men and women different. For the most part, society encourages and praises this life style in men and tends to be very judgmental to women.

This definitely has some truth in it, but also consider that a lot of guys don’t fall into one particular discrete category. A “casanova” isn’t always a compulsive lier, but may be honest about his intentions despite them being superficial. There also not necessarily any conflict between a romantic and a casanova. A guy may be a player until he finds a woman to fall in love with and chooses to have fun until he finds her. Also, I’d say you have a category in between namely guys choosing to have “friends with benefits”, typically relationships that have more substance than casual flings, but less than a “full fledged” romantic one.

You also have romantic guys that are confident in themselves but don’t want casual hookups and at last guys who “fake it until they make it” that appear to be more confident than they really are. From a guy’s perspective it’s often necessary to put some belief in yourself on the pedestal in order to attract the woman of your choice. I’m not saying it’s the most honest method, but with the risk of ending up friendzoned I can understand their perspective.

I do of course understand that this is based on generalized research but it would be interesting to see the variance between these strictly defined categories.

when depressed, I’m more yearning a relationship. I guess when upset or sad, there’s more of a desire to be around or with someone you care about or love which makes sense for me wanting a relationship during such time.

It’s kind of like when sick or not feeling well there’s a natural human desire or tendency to want someone that loves you to be there and help take care of you. That isn’t happening if with a friend with benefit. Some people like to be left alone when sick, but others like comfort and love and affection.

And there is guy like me, not interested on sex or dating, Just being single and living life doing a lot of thing not related to sex 🙂