‘Curve’ Modeling Eases Media Curse

Iskra Lawerence, curve model.

Iskra Lawerence, curve model.

By Caroline Bliss Duffy

I went on my first diet in 2nd grade.

Forget that fruit roll up, unless you want a big belly that other kids poke at and yell “Blubber!”

By age 13 I was playing soccer and taking kickboxing classes. And I hardly ate.

At 5’8” I weighed 123 lbs, but still felt “fat” — an obsession that continued until I was 16, when I started doing some modeling in the city. By then I was a “hefty” 132 lbs. My agency took me but said I should get down to 125 lbs if I wanted constant work. Read the rest of this entry

The Trouble With Fetishes

feetFetishes can be fun.

Shoes. Feet. Cabbage. (Or so I hear.)

Women’s breasts and butts…

Women’s breasts and butts are fetishized? Yep. The arousal they spark is not universal.

But here’s the problem: a fetish can actually harm our sex lives. Read the rest of this entry

A Girl Who Was Raised Like A Boy

Sondos, as a little girl.

S. as a little girl.

By S. Abu-Coush

Men are men and women are women?

We don’t learn to be. We just are?

But I didn’t learn gender the way most girls do. And even less the way most Middle Eastern girls do.

And I don’t see myself the way most girls do, either. Read the rest of this entry

Grandpa Told Grandma: “Make a meal for my mistress!”

Humiliating abuseBy Yesenia Herrera

One stormy night as my grandmother, aunts and uncles all slept, my grandfather crept into the house with a dead cow.

He jostled my grandmother awake and told her to help him unsaddle his horse in the middle of a Mexican rain storm.

Afterwards, per usual, he demanded she remove his muddy boots.

What followed, however, was not usual.

After drying off he told my grandmother to skin the cow and cut it up for consumption, with no time to waste.

His intention, he said, was to take the meat to his mistress. He laughed at the humiliation of his demand. Read the rest of this entry

Men Enjoy Themselves When Women Do

Sasha Grey

Sasha Grey

A lot of women think that their partners’ enjoyment is more important than their own.

It’s likely unconscious. But you see it every time a young woman gets distracted, focusing on how she looks, or what he wants, and how he feels…

… while completely ignoring how SHE feels.

But men actually enjoy themselves more when their partners are enjoying themselves.  Read the rest of this entry

If Not Hillary, Who? A Libertarian?

LibertarianHillary got the Democratic nomination but some progressives still cry, “Never Hillary!”

If not Hillary, who?

Some pledge to vote Libertarian. Odd. Libertarians are nearly the opposite of progressives. Read the rest of this entry

A Sex Object Not Enjoying Sex

body image poorIt’s not unusual these days for a young woman to become preoccupied with how attractive she looks, habitually seeing herself through her partner’s eyes, and judging herself based on what she thinks he thinks. In other words, to self-objectify.

Instead of enjoying sex.

I’ve talked with friends about the phenomenon and a couple of them have opened up and told me their stories. Like “Sophie,” who let me relate her story in my blog. Read the rest of this entry

Men’s Pleasure Is More Important?

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Peggy Orenstein, Girls & Sex

Many young women are now engaging in sex acts with men that prioritize the man’s pleasure, with little or no expectation of reciprocity.

So says cultural theorist Jackson Katz.

Sounds about right.

These young women are focused on how they look and what they do — and how their guys feel about how they look and what they do. Read the rest of this entry

Hating On Sex Ed & Gay Wedding Cakes

Gay wedding cake

Rainbows and roses wedding cake

Religious conservatives have fought gay weddings, trans bathrooms, civil rights, sex ed, contraception, a woman’s right to terminate a pregnancy, and even battered women’s shelters.

Some of this is recent. Some of this is in the past. Some feels like a bit of both.

But why?

“God” comes up a lot in arguments against all of these things.

But is the real motivation something else? Read the rest of this entry

Losing Virginity Is Good… No Biggie… Shameful

Artemis, the virgin goddess

Artemis, the virgin goddess

By Anna Oseguera 

About a year ago I was talking with a friend of mine, “Maria,” and the topic of sex and virginity came up. Maria said that when she was 18 years old a male friend of hers offered to “do her the favor” of taking her virginity.

That puzzled us. “Do her the favor” of taking her virginity?

Did he think that she couldn’t find anyone to have sex with because he thought she wasn’t attractive enough? And why would she want to lose her virginity, anyway? Isn’t virginity a good thing? Something to be saved until marriage? Read the rest of this entry

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