Do women worry about “doing it right?”
Women concerned with pleasing partners
I asked women and men in my classes if they ever worry about whether they are “doing it right” when they have sex.
I recently wrote up my survey of young college men. Now let’s turn to the women, all of whom are 1st and 2nd year students, and almost all are in their late teens/early twenties.
I asked 80 of my women students who had sex with men (straight/bi/pan/flex) this question:
In sexual situations do you ever worry about whether you are “doing it” right?
Answer: YES: 73% NO: 27%
Their answers were similar to the men’s. Most students did worry, at least sometimes, with 73% of women and 71% of men saying they did.
Next, I did a qualitative survey of 52 women, asking them to talk more about their answer. (Among this sub-group 71% worried about “doing it right.”)
While the women and men I surveyed were about equally likely to worry, the women sometimes described their concern a little differently from the men. Read the rest of this entry
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Do men worry about “doing it right?”
Men concerned with pleasing partners
I asked both women and men students in my classes if they ever worry about whether they are “doing it right” when they have sex.
Let’s start with the men, all of whom are 1st and 2nd year students, and most of whom are in their late teens/early twenties.
I asked 69 of my men students who had sex with women (straight/bi) this question:
In sexual situations do you ever worry about whether you are “doing it” right?
Answer: YES: 71% NO: 29%
So most do. And then I did another qualitative survey of 26 men, where I asked them to talk about their answer to see what their concerns revolved around. (Fyi, 65% of this sample worried about “doing it right.”) Read the rest of this entry
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Seeking Men For Self-Esteem
By Maria Infante
For as long as I can remember I looked to men for approval.
Why? Maybe it was my absent father who was only around for dinner and bed. He paid the rent but didn’t show me much interest. And he favored cousin Daniel over me.
So I made it my mission to become his favorite child. Read the rest of this entry
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Men, Welcome to the Sisterhood of Womankind
Would you experience yourself differently if our gendered language flipped?
Let’s try talking about humans and the human experience as woman, womankind, sisters and sisterhood? Not man, mankind…
Welcome all, women and men alike, to the sisterhood of womankind. Read the rest of this entry
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Sexual Objectification and Me
By Annie Figueroa
I cut my jeans into skimpy shorts, befriended the weed-smoking troublemakers in detention, and ditched the classes I once cared about.
That’s how I rebelled in frustration over a learning disability that I eventually overcame.
In the meantime, my self-esteem came from self-objectification: Reducing myself to my body while neglecting the rest of me. Read the rest of this entry
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Being A Man Doesn’t Mean Looking Down On Women
Real men respect women.
By Luis Castro
Middle school boys can be fierce. Not all of them, but most of them are.
That’s when they start getting exposed to the dirty side of life, like gangsta rap and porn, or just bad influences which teach boys to disrespect girls. So they come to think that they are better than girls just because they are masculine.
I know from experience. Read the rest of this entry
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Men, Women Are Not From Mars, Venus
Men and women aren’t so different, after all.
They have similar levels of interest in sex with multiple partners, willingness to have sex outside of a relationship, closeness with a best friend and interest in science, for instance. Read the rest of this entry
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My First “Sexual Experiences” Felt Demeaning
Stop sexual assault
By Fe Hmelar
I’ve never had a boyfriend, never gone on a date, or even been kissed. But I have been sexually assaulted. Twice.
And that is partly why I have never dated. Read the rest of this entry
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How Sex Is Used To Create Patriarchy
By Brittany Beall
Sex is used to create male dominance (patriarchy) in a number of ways. Just take a quick look at these:
The double standard
In the double standard when a man has sex with many women that’s fine. Even celebrated. He is seen as a “the ladies man” or labeled “cool.”
But if a woman does the same thing she is labeled as a “slut” and men will find that unattractive.
Men are free, women are not. Men are celebrated, Women are humiliated. Read the rest of this entry
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She Wants An Abortion. He Doesn’t
A man asked me this question:
If a couple are in a safe, sane, and committed relationship I think that the women should not have all the say in whether or not to have an abortion.
It would be a shame for a guy to have his baby taken away from him because the woman didn’t want to grow the baby inside of her.
I think that entitles him to at least a conversation. Read the rest of this entry
