Sexual Fluidity & Emotional Connection
Women seem to be more sexually fluid than men. Why?
One reason might involve the way we tie sex and emotional connection together for women.
Not to mention that women are more likely to become deeply connected to same sex friends.
When University of Utah Prof. Lisa Diamond studied sexual minority women (i.e., non-straight), she found that women’s same-sex relationships often grew out of close friendships.
In her book, Sexual Fluidity, she points out that love and desire are separate systems but they come to be associated together. And culturally, that’s more true for women because they are taught that they should feel an emotional connection before becoming sexual.
We assume that sexual desire turns to love. But why not the other way around, she asks? Love has no sexual orientation. So might you love someone and find desire emerging?
Meanwhile oxytocin, a bonding hormone that women have more of, influences arousability and satisfaction. So when emotional bonding increases oxytocin, might it sometimes trigger sexual arousability?
(I’m not sure how gender-specific this process is because she doesn’t make a comparison with men and vasopressin.)
Now consider that our culture says it’s more okay for women to express emotion and to be closely connected. Men must be tough, stoic and independent. And relationship research shows women’s relationships to be more emotionally close and connected.
Put it all together and this could be another reason why women’s sexuality is more fluid.
Posted on January 13, 2016, in LGBTQ+, psychology, sex and sexuality, women and tagged LGBTQ+, Lisa Diamond, psychology, sex, sexual fluidity, sexual minority, sexuality, women. Bookmark the permalink. 44 Comments.