Your Pain: A Small Price for My Pleasure
Police in Salinas, California conducted a home welfare check after three children, ages 8, 5, and 3, didn’t arrive for an unspecified appointment. What they found was gruesome. The isolated children, who were ostensibly being homeschooled, were malnourished and bruised.
But the eight-year-old girl seems to have gotten it worse than her brothers. She was periodically locked in a closet or chained to a wall, 4 feet off the ground. She was sometimes shackled by the ankle, and other times by a collar around her small neck. And starving, she resembled a concentration camp victim.
It appears that the little girl, who was adopted by female domestic partners, Eraca Dawn Craig and Christian Jessica Deanda, had been tortured for their pleasure.
The traumatized little girl was hospitalized for five days. Monterey County Sheriff, Scott Miller, says that when children are rescued from such terrors, they are not, “jumping up and down in joy. They may have forgotten what joy is like.”
I worry about living in a world where abuse is eroticized. I worry, regardless of whether the victim is unwilling or has come to crave her own abuse. Pain exists to warn us to stop doing something that is harmful, after all.
And I worry about people who, seeking unlimited pleasure, expect their partners to undergo pain – if on a much lesser scale than the little eight-year-old’s trauma.
Some men have commented on my blog, insisting women should undergo various ordeals they find uncomfortable or torturous, just so that these guys may know no bounds to their pleasure. I also know a guy who put his wife through emotional turmoil in pursuit of his own unrestrained gratification.
I don’t get it. If I wanted to do something that I knew someone else was hating, I couldn’t possibly enjoy it.
Perhaps the lure arises from sexual objectification. If you see someone as a thing that exists to sexually serve you, then you needn’t worry about her feelings. And if she is in pain, that might just add a little spice.
Surely partners can find things to do that they both enjoy. And hopefully we can connect with our own humanity to feel the humanity in others.
Posted on March 28, 2014, in feminism, objectification, psychology, sexism, violence against women, women and tagged Christian Jessica Deanda, Eraca Dawn Craig, feminism, objectification, psychology, sexism, violence against women, women. Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.