There’s lots of good thoughts here over the years, to the effect that nobody should have to do something in the bedroom that they don’t want to do. Love doesn’t insist on getting it’s own way. Some of the guys see this, and some don’t, depending on how selfish they are.

What pornography has done, is to introduce impositions on one’s partner that would likely have never been under consideration, had the idea not been introduced through porn. How can something that humiliates, hurts, or causes physical, spiritual or psychological pain or lasting damage ever come from love?

Do you really believe for one minute that these women really enjoy having having some of these things being done to them? They are being coerced, and being made to act like they enjoy it.

Those who star in porn have much higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse, depression, suicide, STDs, and so on. If you doubt me, do your own research! This is a miserable occupation that destroys people, and my only speculation is that it is even more so for women.

Dr., are you aware of any research that would either support or contradict that last statement, above?

I think this is a very thought provoking topic. The Porn industry is huge and most people, both men and women whom I know, have watched or seen porn before. I do think that porn gives people an extremist idea of how sex work. It does give men an idea that women will do anything to please them during sex. That dynamic shown in the porn can encourage the sexism and prejudice found in our society, by promoting male dominance and women’s submission.On the other hand, some porn that is popular with men is porn where a men are being submissive to a women (dominatrix), which lets go of this idea that porn mostly paints women as submissive creatures. Overall, though porn is a large industry that is growing everyday, I agree that it can promote sexism and give both women and men a false idea of what sex should be.

I think it depends on the type of relationship one has with one’s sexual partner that determines what goes on in the bedroom. A lot of women like to watch porn with or without their partners in order to understand how men think sexually and can give great insight into how to treat one’s partner in the bedroom, if only on occasion. As long as it does not go against the universal standard of hurting someone, I see no reason as to not try and please my significant other in the bedroom through the use of porn. If what your partner asks of you is degrading, simply opt out! No one is forcing you to watch porn and learn what men like. Be yourself sexually and be happy with how you experience that. If you think porn is degrading in general to female virtue, I ask what is female virtue if men don’t have the same bind sexually? If we continue to put “the pussy on a pedestal” (movie line), then we fail to examine how the opposite sex is virtuous. Are men better off not experiencing themselves sexually with the use of porn? Or is porn viewed as an aid to better understand the male sexual psyche? Are they virtuous for not watching porn and giving into its selling capability with their girlfriends, wives or sexual partners? Or are they virtuous for being honest about their sexual desires behind closed doors? I feel men and women can be virtuous in different ways without bringing sex into the picture. We can demonstrate our sexuality through the clothes we wear, how we shave our beards or cut our hair, and how we even walk down the street. Sexuality itself can be virtuous if we take the aspect of sex and porn out of the conversation altogether, so I see no reason as to why porn is viewed so negatively by so many women. If a girl thinks that getting a men is showing cleavage and then refuses to do things sexually like in pornographic videos, she has every right. But can you blame the man that picked up the signal that the girl was somewhat “asking for it” by showing off her assets? Quite honestly, I say no. You CAN wear clothing that is both unrevealing and sexy at the same time and not once put dirty sex on a man’s mind. You can be sophisticatedly wanted and desired by showing off your sexuality and not showing off your templed body. Women need to reexamine the porn battle and see through both their eyes and men’s eyes, not just the severely feminized vision of porn is wrong. Silver lining comes into mind and I think it is healthy to have open dialogue about the uses and effects of porn on the male psyche.

Guys want their girlfriends to give them the “Porn star experience”

Ironically their is huge demand from guys asking and paying escorts to give them the “Girlfriend experience”

Well, I believe sex is about the intimacy between two people who are in love. So the level of enjoyment should be the priority concern. I do not think that female should act like a porn star during sex to offer their men a porn star experience. As after all, porn is not real, it is just acting. Men should understand this point, if your lady is not acting like a porn star, it does not mean that they are not enjoying; instead, they are just being themselves. And of course, if the woman also enjoys that porn star experience such as role-playing or whatever, it is totally okay as long as they just compromise it beforehand. Moreover, I think women should definitely not do anything that would possibly harm themselves in order to please the guy during sex.

Women should not give men the porn experience unless that is what they truly desire, and in which case they are giving women the porn experience. In general porn perpetuates women as sex objects and violence and shame is forced upon them for the pleasure of others. The saturation of porn in society and pop culture today has created an arena for further discrimination toward women.
Women are constantly bombarded with Porn inspired images in the media, like most taboo things the media slowly conditions us to further extremes. I do not believe in censorship and have no problem with hearing cussing on public television. But my objection to the perpetuation of pornographic imagery in society today is setting the bar for women to be porn stars and submit to crude violent acts. This of course physically is harmful to the individual and I can only assume has only unhealthy emotional and mental effects as well. I am deeply saddened for the women who have been apart of this world and have been affected.

I don’t think that woman should give their men the “porn star treatment”. I don’t even agree with how that sounds. I feel like a woman wouldn’t even really enjoy herself because she is so concerned with how she looks, or what she is doing to turn the man on and forgetting about her own personal needs for sex. I agree with Jensen on that if a woman wants to do these things, she should. I feel that she probably is turned on by acting that way but for women who do not like the thought, or it seems to painful should not submit to these things. I don’t think rejecting a man of these things will make or break a relationship.

i feel sorry for anybody who has had to do anything sexually that made them feel degraded and if you felt that way, that something to be discussed with whomever you are having sex.
that being said, i’ve had in-depth discussions with several female friends about things of this nature and i have to say that everyone who whole-heartedly believes that every girl who has had to touch semen are being degraded or humiliated needs to make some new friends. every human body is different and has unique sensory networks. pleasure to one may be pain to another and vice versa. sure i’ve discussed with girls who said that they only did certain acts out of a sense of obligation, but that they didn’t particularly care for them. sometimes they didn’t specifically like them, sometimes they didn’t care either way. one told me once that she “liked the pizza enuff that didn’t mind that it had olives on it”.
others i’ve conversed with (and perhaps these girls were far more open to me because they knew i was never gonna proposition them for in-person proof) told vastly different stories. for every “no girl actually likes doing that, they just do it because it makes their man happy” situation, i’ve met countless girls who actually (gasp) loves these things. one friend told me her perfect evening that consisted of watching comedy movies whilst spooning with her boyfriend on the couch engaging in a very specific penetration. she loved the movies and cuddling, but it was the whole package that made it the perfect night. another friend told me that she only ever had vaginal intercourse when her bf wanted to.she enjoyed it but she never reached orgasm from it. she told him if he wanted to get her off he had to as she put it, “handle that back door”. this,she said, was always how she was wired.every since her first bf at age 17 and not due to any childhood trauma. another friend refers to herself as the BJ queen . what she enjoys is the power of controlling the orgasm and is indifferent about the resulting semen. friend # 4 says she salivates around her bf until she can get his erection in her mouth. NONE of these girls are porn stars or porn star wannabees. none of them have ever done anything on camera or would even dream of doing so. they are simply who they are and don’t think they are any different from any other girl in the world. and you know what, i don’t think they are either.

Pornography is both for the pleasure of men and woman. Although it is mainly directed for the male audience there are plenty of women that enjoy it as well. What is done in porn is to pleasure you to the extreme and in my eyes not to humiliate or degrade anyone. It is simply up to you on watching it (if you don’t like it don’t watch it). If your boyfriend or sex partner is making you do things you don’t feel comfortable doing well that is a whole different aspect. You should never do something sexual with someone if they are forcing you to do it or just to simply pleasure them while you’re feeling uncomfortable. When in a relationship with a man there should be open communication in all aspects especially when it comes to sex. It never hurts to experiment and try new things out in bed. If you try it and don’t like it, its as simple as not doing it again and communicating with your partner on how it makes you feel uncomfortable. Communication is the key and humiliation or degrading is definitely not that route or words I would use to explain pornography.

First off i would like to clarify that a woman should not perform any sexual acts that she doesnt want to do. If the guy is not pleased with his partner then maybe he should find a new one, or stop watching porn better yet. I think that porn is degrading to women and sets a bad example of how the sacred act of sex is to be played out. although i must say i am a fan of many positions and trying new things, if it entails degrading women then i’ll pass. even though i am a firm believer that women should do all they can to please they’re partner, i also think men should equally try to please women. Bottom line is that sex should be something that comes naturally, not something thats scripted and directed with a storyline.