Staring at Breasts Is Good For Men’s Health? And Women’s?

Staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health and increases their life
expectancy. According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the
study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years. She added, “Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out.”

Sorry fellas, Snopes says this “study” is a hoax.

A male friend of mine sent me this article.  He thought it was hilarious. I
wondered how staring at breasts affected the men’s wives’ and girlfriends’
health. Or how men’s health would be affected by their responses?

Really, how do women feel about ogling lovers? A Google trip through the internet revealed feelings that ranged from discomfort to distress. A couple samples:

  • Should it bother me that my boyfriend admits he likes looking at other women and can’t help it if a “hot” woman is in his view? He says just because you chase a car it
    doesn’t mean you want to drive it.

  • Throughout our relationship, he was constantly observing other women and then would make comments about them. I’ve had more occasions ruined, like my latest birthday out for dinner, a fun night at a concert to my favorite artist and lots more occasions.

Ok, but women who are troubled by the behavior are more likely than “it’s no biggie” types to vent on the web. How does your average woman feel?

Lucky for me, I have classrooms of captive students who are ready and willing to fill out surveys. So I sampled my “Women’s Psychology” students, along with my “Intro to Women’s Studies” course. Forty-seven students in all. My findings aren’t based on random samples, so I will only discuss very strong patterns.

Here’s the bullet point version. I’ll expound more later.

  • About half of the women had experienced ogling boyfriends.
  • The behavior bothered nearly all of my straight students at least a little. Some said, “It drives me nuts.”
  • One bisexual woman said that she and her partner both enjoy ogling, and that she usually noticed her first.
  • About one third attributed the behavior to “boys will be boys,” perhaps making them feel better if guys “can’t help themselves.”
  • Ogling dampened nearly all of the women’s sexual attraction to their lovers, for at least a few hours.
  • Men may think women dislike ogling because they’re afraid they’ll cheat. Yet few women said that’s what bothered them.
  • Why don’t women like ogling? Simply feeling like a man is “as attracted” or “more attracted” to other women.

Details to follow.

Related Posts on BroaBlogs
Men: Erotic Objects of Women’s Gaze
Men Are Naturally Attracted To Unnatural Women
Men Watch Porn, Women Read Romance. Why?

Ogling posts on BroadBlogs
Is Your Partner’s Ogling a Turn-Off?
Ogling: Boys Will Be Boys?

 

About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on June 3, 2011, in gender, men, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, women and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 56 Comments.

  1. I think it’s healthy for both men and women to enjoy the pastime of people watching. Although staring too hard is rude, I see nothing wrong in letting my eyes and brain appreciate a beautifully put together man or woman. I’ve no desire to leave the one I’m with or have every beautiful person I see, but looking at someone who stirs my senses simply makes me feel good. How can I deny a man the same pleasure?

  2. It may be surely true that males can feel healthy by ogling many women even while he was with his girlfriend/wife. However, such ogling distracts a healthy good relationship between a male and a female that if a female feel distracted by the fact that her boyfriend/husband is attracted by the other women even if they knew that they really cheat on them, which causes a fight between the couple so that it eventually makes them to become unhealthy. Some males cannot suppress their apparent sexual libido towards strangers to ogle females and even if they could suppress their ogling behavior, it is not sure that if it is healthy to suppress their interests toward females, which may eventually accumulate their untamed sexual libido. It is important that the couple concern about each other’s feelings, and have a conversation with a better understanding about each other in order to build a better, healthy relationship.

  3. Jennifer Barry

    Personally, I think ogling of any kind by male or female is disrespectful and rude. Of course we all look or glance at other people around us, but there is a clear distinction between ogling someone in a sexual manner, and looking at them in a curious human nature way. If my husband were to ogle other women, I would be embarrassed. This would be disrespectful to those women, and also to me. Does he notice attractive women? Of course he does. We all notice attractive, or not so attractive people. I know he wouldn’t like it if I was “checking out” other men in front of him. Let me add that a lot of men don’t ogle women in front of their significant others, but the minute they are alone or with other male friends, they do. Somehow they think this is okay. I wonder why that is? Any thoughts on that?

  4. I agree with the general consensus that ogling is somewhat appropriate in the case of lovers. If a couple is in the moment and they are experiencing each other, then they need to see everything they are truly experiencing to complete their mental picture. I don’t really see anything wrong with ogling in this fashion. However, if two people have just met up and are making love for the first time then it would not really be appropriate in my eyes to be deeply ogling each other, and would probably make me uncomfortable too. I think if one lover is uncomfortable with the other lover staring at their parts then maybe they are feeling a little self conscious or have some internal issues in some cases.
    ~Rebecca

    • The women I surveyed would probably love having their lovers ogling them.

      The students I surveyed were talking more about what they either didn’t like or didn’t mind about their lovers ogling women other than themselves.

  5. For off the article about men staring at another womans breasts is pretty funny, and a little sad that some people may actually believe that could equal a 30 minute cardio work-out. I agree with the majority of your students. I think that when a boyfriend looks at other women in front of their girlfriend it is disrespectful. Once or twice fine, but if it is often enough then I think that is rude. I also agree that it doesn’t have to do with the fact that they are thinking the boyfriend will cheat it is just the principle of it. However, it can be o.k. if the boyfriend is joking about it once in awhile, again not often though. The two people in the relationship need to express how that makes them feel and if it bothers the boyfriend or girlfriend the other needs to respect the other one.

  6. Hannah Ervin

    A close male friend of mine claims that males look at other women and their breasts because “humans were programmed to spread their seeds; it is completely natural for both women and men to stare and even desire multiple partners.” Whether I believe him or not, I think it all has to do with how an individual handles her boyfriend/girlfriend ogling other women. I do think that it is part of nature, so for me I tend to not let it bother me when it happens. However, I will admit, I cannot always convince myself that it is no big deal, so I do on occasion get upset. But, I think its all apart of nature.

  7. I agree with the previous posts that feel that ogling is rude. I think most people like to “people watch” and enjoy seeing what others are doing, wearing, and how they interact with others, etc. But, I think there is a huge difference when you stare someone up and down in a sexual fashion. Most of the time, when this is done, it feels like an aggression. For example, a guy who ogles someone usually turns as the person he’s staring at passes and sometimes even makes gestures or sounds. And, the more guys in a group, the less discreet the actions, in my experience. As a (small) woman, I find this incredibly uncomfortable, and in my opinion it is yet another way in which men display their dominance in society. You don’t often see a woman openly ogling a man unless she is with a group of her friends. I think this is because in general women are more vulnerable than men, and if she does overtly ogle a guy, and he makes an aggressive move on her, then she was “asking for it” in the eyes of society.

  8. The title of this blog definitely caught my attention and the study show in the article was rather funny. How could staring at breasts be a good cardio workout? That seems very inaccurate to me. I do agree with your students though, it is very disrespectful for a guy to stare at another girl’s breasts when they are with their girlfriend. People watching and staring are two different concepts, which can be distinguished easily. “People watching” is just a social thing that can be shared between two people, bringing an interesting conversation. While staring and ogling are very disrespectful, men are known to do this for than woman. In a relationship it would cause a lot of problems if this is done a lot, but it may also be something that their partner is into. Different relationships bring different views on things, like staring at women’s breasts.

  9. As a man I know that it is very difficult to not look I’d say is pretty much impossible. Yes their is a line that should not be crossed for example talking to a woman and staring at her breasts rather than her face. That would be crossing the line and disrespectful. However just looking from afar is done by men and women and I believe there is no harm to it. As long as a line is not crossed I do not think men or women’s partners should be upset by this as it is a part of life and inevitable.

    • Derrick Schoby

      I have been in a couple of long-term relationships where the women didn’t condone ogling very much. I would be accused of being attractive to the other women. I would say that women/men get upset about it because of there insecurities. It is nature for me to find other women attractive but out of respect for the women whom I am dating, I will not allow her to see me ogling another women. It damages your partners ego, also cause questions to appear throughout the relationship. Yes, it is true that we are just looking but with the right opportunity we will allow our temptation to get the best of us. So, I say men and women stop ogling over the opposite sex especially when your partner is around.

  10. Corrie Townsend

    While I am not a big breasted individual, I have always had trouble with guys ogling me. There is a distinct difference in how one feels if they are being noticed as beautiful or examined as a piece of nice tail. A neighbor down the street and I are having issues with this same concept right now. He is around 65, was married for over 30 years although his wife passed away 7 years ago, and helps my mom out with fix it chores around the house. We became friends because of this connection with my mom and I would go down to help him out with his cleaning every now and then. My best friend has always said that “beautiful girls cannot truly ever have just friendships with a man no matter what his age.” I had hoped to find her wrong. Although I am thirteen years younger than his youngest child, he has begun to do things such as buy me bikinis when he goes out and about, without my consent or request. I now try to wear my most modest clothes around him, sometimes wanting to just pull on a huge bathrobe the whole time he’s present. He definitely ogles me. The uncomfortable feel of someone elses eyes looking almost greedily at me makes me feel small and like I’d like to hide from them. If I feel horrible when someone looks at me this way (stranger or neighbor) why shouldn’t someone’s partner?

  11. In my opinion, I think anybody who is in a relationship, to some extend would be jealous if their partner was checking out the opposite sex. And that is cause the more you love a person the more easy it is to get jealous and if you don’t, you should ask yourself why it is that you are not jealous of the fact that your partner is checking out the opposite sex. Some people may say, it is because they know at the end of the day, their partner would be coming home to them. It is very good to be confident in yourself and your relationship, but being the other person, would you question your partners love for you if they didn’t get jealous when you were checking out the opposite sex ?

  12. The idea that men “can’t help it” that they ogle women if, of course, ludicrous. Women are expected to refrain from such “masculine” characteristics such as ogling others. This is because they would then be considered slutty and less feminine. However, when women do ogle men, there is a difference. The average male isn’t scared that the woman staring at him is going to rape him, while most women see men as potentially dangerous; the male gaze can bring about the fear of rape. While men weren’t put on this earth for the sole purpose of pleasing women, vice versa is also true. Yes, looking at a beautiful painting is normal. Looking at a colorful peacock is fine. Glancing at the beauty of a woman is normal and okay. The problem lies with the line that’s drawn between peaceful glancing and a threatening/uncomfortable stare. Staring at a woman’s breasts can also bring up severe insecurity issues. Whether a woman feels her breasts are too small or too large can be accentuated when brought to her attention again and again by men.

  13. Melina Yousef

    I believe staring at women’s breasts is disrespectful to a woman. And if men are in a relationship then not only he’s disrespect his partner but also the other women that he’s staring at. Men need to think about how their partner would feel about them staring at another woman’s breasts. I have few friends that have big breasts and they get so mad when a men stares at their breasts. Whether if it good for men’s health or not I don’t believe it’s healthy for a woman what so ever.

  14. Demi Battaglia

    I work at a restaurant in down town Menlo Park and I can not stand it when I’m trying to check a costumer in and he keeps trying to look down my shirt. It makes me feel uncomfortable and unfortunately I cant do anything about it because I’m at work. This also happens when woman are just walking down the street. Its one thing if men do it, but if the woman become completely aware of what they are doing then it just is awkward from then on. Men need to be more discreet about where they are putting their eyes.

  15. Sometimes men aren’t discrete at all. They look at women breast or butt because it is part of the selection process. Whereas women look at other women to compare themselves. However, I think women also look at men’s butt for the same reasons, though they might be more discrete. I found this video pretty relevant for this topic. Check it out:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYVT4176ONc

    • The video speaks volumes, but in a unexpected way. The video producers are called “rear view girls.” But they are so discrete that they don’t seem to focus on men’s rears at all. Or an any particular part of the body.

      Men are becoming a bit more sexualized in our culture. But nothing approaching the way women’s bodies are consumed.

  16. RideHandsomeBlackCowboyBrett1953

    From eight to 108-I’m 58-it’s we lads’ birthright to ogle large-breasted ladies!!!!(Girls,if you didn’t enjoy us men’s attention,you wouldn’t bounce about in low-cut,often bra-less tops!!!!)

    • You may feel it’s men’s birthright, but your partner may feel differently. And therein lies lies the rub. I’m addressing men’s partners here, not the women who dress sexy. I’ve done a separate survey with them, which I’ll post later.

    • If you like seeing women’s nice breasts bouncing and jiggling, don’t stare. Just look for a second, then at her face with a mild smile. She wants to be looked at but not drooled over.

  17. LustyFirstBlackLaddieBrett1953

    At 58,and still regarded a libidinous lad by a lot of (especially buxom blonde) ladies,this boyishly handsome black 58-year-old Canadian man ALMOST ALWAYS ogles well-endowed women because I’m proud to be considered an aging lad!!!! How ’bout it,girls?

    • Hey there cowboy, it seems you have fairly narrow notions of what you find attractive. Buxom and blond. So I’m curious. Do you think that women are similarly narrow in their preferences? Do you think these women are as likely to be interested in all the men who are only interested in buxom blonds?

  18. LustyFirstLaddieBrett1953

    Well,maybe,but as long as I can remember,I’ve been captivated by bosomy women-white,black,Latina,etc.-but buxom blondes are my faves.Perhaps it’s because,as a black man who,rather than a prototypical “urban”-read:”stereotypically black”-dresser,music fan-for me,it’s mostly garage rock,heavy metal,Country-and speaker (a fellow black man described my intonation as “good ol’ boy Woody Allen”,plus my braying tenor belies my age-58-and muscular,beefy build-I’m 5’8″,210-225 lb.,and sport 181/4″ biceps),plus my still-boyish good looks mke me more likely to relate to non-black women than black women

    • Ok. The preference is likely due to socialization (buxom blonds are the most prized by society — though it’s odd, most actresses have bond hair, reflecting the preference, yet a recent survey found that most men, world-wide prefered black hair — I’ll probably write more on that later)

      But I doubt that being narrow is good for anyone. When only a few people are highly valued, those who want them are continually frustrated (due to supply and demand) while many other wonderful people, who may actually be a better match, end up out in the cold. I don’t see that anybody benefits.

      Still, socialization is extremely powerful. Being made aware won’t necessarily have any effect in most cases.

      Hmmm, I think I’ll write a post on this. Thanks!

  19. LustyFirstBlackLaddieBrett1953

    O.K.,but to stand the premise on its head-I am often eyed-EVEN TODAY,AT 58-by the ladies,though strangely mostly WHITE rather than black women?(Might that be because,rather than R&B/soul,jazz,Gospel,”urban” and other “traditionally black music,I’m a HUGE garage rock,
    heavy metal and Country fan who can sometimes be seen in cowboy garb,and whose voice is far from “identifiably black,” but rather a tenor bray which seems to betray my age,colour AND
    build-I’m a muscular,beefy 5’8″,210-225 lb.,181/4″ biceps?)

    • Fine. But I think there’s a double standard among men leaving them with a narrow focus on what they think is attractive (I want buxom + blonde), but they expect that women won’t be, or shouldn’t be, as narrowly focused as they are.

  20. It doesn’t seem like much is said about the other half of the equation. What about women who ogle men in the company of their boyfriends. Although I don’t know how common it is I do know that in my relationship I am definitely the partner that ogles. Although after reading this article, and realizing the negative effect that ogling has on a person’s partner I may think twice about my ogling actions in the future. I can honestly say that in the almost three years I have been with my boyfriend I have never seen him “check out” or look twice at another women. It’s almost to the point that its frustrating for me, its like he’s trying too hard not to look or something and that made me even more insecure about the situation, that I would actually confront him and demand to know whey he wouldn’t even check out that super model that just walked by us. He’d simply say that “nobody is as beautiful as you”. Well I know that’s a lie because I am looking at the women and can see that she is so much more beautiful, so then I feel like I am being lied to and that is probably my biggest issue with it. There have even been times that I wished that my boyfriend was the type of guy to ogle at least then I would know that he was at least being honest.

    • Ogling seems to be much more something that men do. If you google it, you’ll find lots of complaints from women, but I’ve never seen any talk about it from men. But women are much more the sex objects in our culture, and women aren’t taught to look at men the way men are taught to look at women. There are exceptions.
      For more on this, see for example:

      Men, Women React to Male/Female Nudity
      https://broadblogs.com/2011/10/12/gendered-reactions-to-male-and-female-nudity/
      Men: Erotic Objects of Women’s Gaze
      https://broadblogs.com/2011/04/14/men-erotic-objects-of-women%e2%80%99s-gaze/
      Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze
      https://broadblogs.com/2011/10/24/man-as-object-reversing-the-gaze/
      Women Learn the Breast Fetish, Too
      https://broadblogs.com/2010/11/29/women-learn-the-breast-fetish-too/
      Women Seeing Women as Sexier than Men
      https://broadblogs.com/2011/01/10/women-seeing-women-as-sexier-than-men/

      I wouldn’t worry about your boyfriend. Check out Meyers-Briggs personality test. Some people (apparently you) are very focused on the world around them. Others (like me) are more introspective, and hardly check out anything. We’re focused on our thoughts and what’s “out there” can be a bit of a blur. However, some who are very aware of their surroundings do so with a critical eye, and they’ll be less likely to be enamored by what they see.

      Different people have different personalities.

      Others simply feel it’s rude, and don’t want to hurt others. First time I was with a man who ogled (and only 4 of the men I’ve been with have behaved that way, most don’t) I couldn’t believe anyone would be so rude. I wouldn’t treat others that way, and I expect not to be treated that way, myself.

      Actually, most people with partners don’t ogle. Often, they are “relationship-guarding.” Check out this post: Ogling: Boys Will Be Boys?
      https://broadblogs.com/2011/08/15/ogling-boys-will-be-boys/

      Just wondering what you think your guy could be doing that would be so much worse than staring at women (or men).

      • “Ogling seems to be much more something that med do. If you’ll google it you’ll find more complaints from women but I’ve never seen any talk from men.”

        This is very interesting.
        Women ogle too, maybe not as much as men do but they do it as well. If men were more sexualized or women weren’t afrait of being called “slut” they would do it more.

        Anyway, why there is no talk from men complaining about their girlfriend’s ogling?

        I have seen attractive women holding the hand of their attractive boyfriend and looking over their shoulders to ogle at another man! Even wives being with their husbands and giving ‘up and down’ looks to another man. Their men never noticed that.

        It’s because women are better at understanding subtle behaviour pattens. If a man does something like ogling, she will noticed it for sure, but men are oblivious at these things.
        That’s also why when a woman sees a man she likes, she may try to get his attention by giving subtle signals, like walking righ past him, or standing next to him or saying something to him etc. Most of these times, men are missing those subtle “moves” and don’t realize that the woman is interested in them.
        When I was younger, a girl was talking casually to me, I didn’t think anything of it. When she left, a girl-friend of mine who was with me and hear the conversation she announced to me “she’s into you!” It surprised me. Ever since I was paying more attention at how men and women behave.

        Women give subtle signals who believe themselves that are obvious and they feel frustrated when men don’t pick up those signals.
        But women, you should know this. Men are oblivious to subtle signals.

        That’s why women can catch their boyfriends ogling but men never catch their girlfriends ogling. Women are more “sensitive” at understanding this kind of things.
        Of course men are more likely to ogle because it’s considered to be a “man thing”.

      • why there is no talk from men complaining about their girlfriend’s ogling?

        First, women are way less likely to do it than men. Largely because there’s nothing that has been fetishized on the male body and so nothing about the male body “takes” women in the way that fetishized female body parts “take” men.

        And since men are more likely to do it they are less likely to complain when their partners do, I suppose. Because they “get it.”

  21. What did the male students say about this…or are there none?

    And have you never had anyone who completely goes against the expected pattern (such as a straight woman who points out hot women to her boyfriend, or who doesn’t mind him commenting about other attractive females)?

  22. A man may experience the breast fetish so he is ogling at breasts.
    He has no intention of cheating his girlfriend but that’s not what she bothers her.
    She thinks that he’s more attracted to that other woman.

    But women also experience the breast fetish.
    So when a woman is experiencing the breast fetish and she is ogling at another woman but she has no intention of cheating her boyfriend, the boyfriend should be ok with that?

    Isn’t that a kind of double standard?

    As for the distiction between noticing beauty and staring/ogling we should “thank” evolution and biology for that.

    Men have “tunnel vision” and a bad “peripheral vision”. When they want to watch something they give the idea that they are staring it because they really can’t help themselves. That applies to everything, not only ogling at women.
    Women on the other hand have a great “peripheral vision”.
    They can check out something or someone out of the corner of their eye. A woman can check out someone and noone will ever notice her.

    • First, just because women can experience the breast fetish doesn’t mean that they ogle anyone. I never have. I mean, if a woman were topless I might stare. Although I would probably have the good sense not to. (Having been to a topless beach in the south of France, I know that I did not. It’s not polite.) But just walking around I never even notice women’s breasts. It’s a breast fetish, not a cleavage fetish. I’ve never understood what the big deal about cleavage is. Wow, a line! I don’t know whether other women are interested in that sort of thing but I’ve never seen any studies on it.

      What evidence do you have that men have bad peripheral vision?

      Here’s what’s more likely going on with the staring (something I explained to a woman who was concerned about her boyfriend’s ogling, so I’m quoting what I wrote to her):

      It’s not that uncommon that men who ogle don’t even realize they’re doing it, and they feel they have no control over it. They kind of get into an altered state. It’s similar to what guys can experience when they watch porn — because they are having a pornographic experience watching these women – and I will write a little bit about this in a blog post sometime, but here are a few paragraphs that might help you to understand it. I’ve simplified some of the wording.

      And you can go to the link at the end to read more:

      Pornographic images seem to activate a man’s visual system in a manner that goes beyond just looking at trees or even people. It’s almost like a high-definition signal compared with a standard signal. Once this signal—Tori Black in the nude, say—hits the male antenna, the brain’s reward system kicks in, producing a rush of feel-good dopamine. This can reinforce the behavior much in the same way that drugs like cocaine would.

      At the same time the part of the brain that makes judgments is shut off. 

Essentially, the decision-making system is turning itself over to the experience; it’s almost like the men are hypnotized. This is the classic male stereotype: When men think with what’s below, they don’t make good decisions. Or, the decisions are made for them.

      http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/porn-debate?fullpage=true#ixzz2C51rt6US

      That said, men can make decisions to behave differently. I can’t tolerate being in a relationship with a man who ogles. Very few men I have been with have behaved that way. And of the four who did, one of them stopped doing it because I couldn’t tolerate being in a relationship with men who do that.

      On the point that most men don’t, see this:

      Ogling: Boys Will Be Boys?
      https://broadblogs.com/2011/08/15/ogling-boys-will-be-boys/

      • @BroadBlogs
        @Potis

        BroadBlogs, it seems from your point of views that you’re hetero or at least I’ve only ever read about you dating/being attracted to men. For those of us who are different (bisexual, for example), cleavage is not really about just looking at “a line”. It is more of the idea of two well formed breasts being pushed together nicely/sexily. Even when they aren’t a “line” of cleavage, seeing a shapely pair of breasts is just something the eye is drawn to…how big or small they are, how they bounce, whether it’s a pleasant ratio vs the hips and/or waist. It’s not a matter of “wow, that’s quite a nice line above her shirt collar”, but rather “wow, this part of her body is amazing, and really compliments the rest of her physical beauty”.

        I don’t know about the tunnel vision vs peripheral vision…haven’t heard that before, and I’m physically female anyway, so I can’t weigh in.

        You are right about the viewing of porn though. It really does give you a sense of “other reality” or trance, as you said. I know that when I’m watching a regular movie vs watching porn (or even reading it sometimes) it goes from being passive entertainment to feeling like an actual activity. Maybe this is the difference between the majority of male/female brains? Women tend to watch adult movies as they would a typical movie, but men immerse themselves into it more?

      • Men having pornographic experience makes sense.

        But men watching full clothed women in real life situtations doing nothing sexual is the same as watching porn?

      • It depends on the guy. Most guys aren’t going to be this way. But I’ve talked about the article I linked to with some guys who say that it is similar for them. Those guys have said that they actually get more turned on by the hiding and reviewing than a naked woman.

      • Breasts don’t naturally have much cleavage. Cleavage is caused by clothing squeezing the breasts close together.
        As for me, I like breasts that splay apart when she is standing straight. But I don’t really care once I get in close.

  23. Oh, and to head off the question: No, I don’t look at mine the same way. I’ll wear a low cut shirt if my FwB asks, or if I want to purposefully flirt with him in public, but most of the time I wear normal tshirts or at least ones with a higher neckline. I don’t really like being reminded that I have them…and if someone makes a comment or points out the fact I am “curvy”, I’ll just crack a joke about them.

    That’s probably why I don’t get angry or upset when I catch guys staring at my chest. I sympathize with how difficult it can be to stop looking sometimes, though I agree that subtlety is a foreign concept to some guys, lol. I’m not offended at all, unless someone tries to touch…That’s just rude, and a gross invasion of personal space.

    Again though, I know better than to think that other members of the female sex think as I do, and would never blatantly stare myself. Just because I don’t care does not mean that others feel the same, and their comfort zone should be respected too.

  24. Women have wider peripheral vision, men have tunnel vision

    http://roman-online.net/node/82

    • This isn’t an authoritative link.

      • he is a doctor

        http://www.sharecare.com/health/eye-vision-health/vision-different-for-men-women;jsessionid=E412B76F6938C0639A50BAB51507FBED

        The pornographic experience applies only to men or it is also apply to women? or at least some women

      • The biology of the eye is not something that I have been trained in. I did Google this and it sounds like women do have better peripheral vision. However, you are exaggerating how much is taken in that way. When I was in Nice and saw topless women I did want to look, but I didn’t because that would be rude. And I can assure you that I didn’t get a good look through my peripheral vision. That was completely useless. So I simply chose not to stare.

        And I don’t think women experience the pornographic experience in the same way that men do for a number of reasons. I read one book called “the male brain” and another called “the female brain.” When it comes to sexual stuff men’s brains tends to place an intense focus in a way that women’s do not. So in bed, for instance, women are more likely to multitask – think about making the kids lunches the next day, a grocery list, or worry about whether she might be called a slut the next day, etc. even while she’s having sex. Not all the time, but men don’t seem to do this.

        The other thing is that almost all of the sexual imagery in our culture is directed towards men and that socializes them differently from women. And due to homophobia, and more repression generally directed at women, women are more likely to repress it. I’ve repressed it so much that I really experience it anymore. Also, women are more likely to be in competition mode: how big are her boobs compared with mine? If her boobs are bigger, I hate her. That will destroy any erotic experience of seeing a woman’s breasts.

        Finally, not all guys get into that hypnotic trance. Based on my experience with them, and the study referenced below, most don’t.

        Ogling: Boys Will Be Boys?
        https://broadblogs.com/2011/08/15/ogling-boys-will-be-boys/

      • @Potis

        I think the pornographic experience that BroadBlogs is talking about is mostly a “male brain” occurance. I know that I have never met/spoken to any women who share the experiences or feelings that my male friends and myself have. I may be physically female, but I consider myself male in respect to my mental persona.

        It would seem that women don’t think about sex the same way. Like Broad said, there’s vastly higher rates of them “multitasking” during sex…whereas I can’t even do that if I consciously try for more than a few seconds. And it’s true that a majority of women see breasts, not as a body part that is pleasant to look at, but as another way to compete for attention. I (unfortunately) have fairly large breasts, and I’ve noticed that the women who come in with their boyfriends to my store will wrap themselves around his arm, kiss him, or otherwise get a LOT closer when their men talk to me. At first, I thought it was humorous but now I think it’s just sad…giving public affection solely due to a perceived competition and personal jealousy is NOT cool.

      • Looking body parts is indeed rude. But I am not talking about that.
        The difference in the vision applies also to flirting or noticing an attractive person.
        You wrote in another post that “the mere sight of a man doesn’t do whole lot for most women”. If you are talking about male body then you are right, but if you are talking about a good looking man, then I guess that could be different. Many women react to the sight of a good looking man, I don’t know if that applies to many women or just some women though. I guess that would be more women that we would think, since women can check out a good looking man without getting noticed whereas when a man is checking out a woman he always gets noticed.
        Mind you that I am talking about singles, not persons in relationships.

        So women can spot men admiring her and that makes her feeling sexy.
        But women can be more sly about checking a good looking man, so he is oblivious to the fact that women are attracted to him and thus he doesn’t feel sexy.

        I guess there are many reasons why women don’t ever tell a man that he is good looking. Fear of rejection, they don’t want to boost his ego, they are afraid they might appeared to be “needy”, they want him to make the first move, they believe that the man would take that compliment as a sexual invitation.

        There is strange dynamic in the dating world. Men are always expected to make the first move, but some guys get awkward around women they really like, so women believe that they aren’t interested in them. But on the other hand when a woman is interested in a man, she never makes a move like a man would.
        She is either sitting still “hoping” he will notice her or could try a “passive” approach, like smiling or standing next to him but she will never make a bold move like asking him out or telling directly he is attractive – these all are things that a man must do, right?-

        It’s a little bit of topic, but that’s what all sums up, only men staring and approaching women, women being the sexy gender don’t have to do anything, just sit still and men will go after them, some men believing that every beautiful woman they approach should say “yes”, some women playing hard to get, some men learnig to be “players” to cope out with women playing hard to get, basically most of the people becoming more selfish and trying to fullfill their personal needs disregarding the needs of their partners.

      • Okay but I don’t think that our peripheral vision has anything to do with checking out guys. If are going to check them out it’s not going to be with peripheral vision.

        I’m pretty sure the main reason women don’t tell men that they’re attractive – though some do – is that they don’t want to seem too aggressive. Women are taught that they are supposed to *attract* men passively, so they get all dolled up, focus on clothing, make-up, hair, dieting, liposuction, breast implants, wonder bras. And they think guys will be turned off if they are the assertive ones.

  25. Being stared at makes me very uncomfortable, I must say…there is a “good” and “bad” way of looking at other people.

    We all notice people that we find attractive in some way…and with all of the different types of people in this world, variety is the spice of life, so what one person likes another doesn’t.

    As a woman who happens to be married to a man, I feel that my husband staring at another woman would be very disrespectful. I notice other men, I’m not blind, but I respect my husband…therefore no staring, no flirting, no inappropriate behavior on my part and I expect the same from him in return.

    I have small boobs. I won’t deny that I often wish I were more well-endowed. But I’m not and since breast augmentation costs too much money, I try to find other special qualities about myself that I can play up to my advantage.
    While large breasts are definitely attention-getting, there are plenty of other things a woman can have if she isn’t “stacked” on top.
    So it all depends, really.

    I believe that in Western society, there is a lot of emphasis placed on large breasts as the epitome of femininity…this can make small-busted women feel like something is wrong with them.
    I enjoy looking at other women’s bodies because there are so many different shapes and sizes. And I have no problem with complimenting another woman, but I try to do it in a way that doesn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable.

    @tarnishedsophia…I see what you’re saying and I agree that it shows insecurity on the part of those women. But allow me to share my thoughts on that. Are you 100% sure that these women are acting this way because of your cup size, or is it that they are simply insecure in general when their partner talks to another woman?
    Another possibility is that for some of them, they might have been cheated on with a girl who has large breasts so anyone with big boobs around their boyfriend/husband triggers their insecurities.
    I will be honest…I feel a bit uneasy sometimes when my husband is around certain women, not necessarily because of their looks or breast size, but because some women give off a vibe that makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes it is unconscious flirting or the way they laugh or their body language in general, towards me versus how they act with my husband. But if you know you haven’t done anything wrong try not to worry about it too much…it might just be that they are possessive and they would act this way toward any other girl.

    I don’t know about those women but I have no issues with busty ladies at all. The only time I would have a problem is if somebody were constantly bragging, showing off or pushing her boobs in my husband’s face. You don’t sound like that type so all you can do is simply understand that their behavior isn’t about you, it’s about them.

  26. LOTS of bosomy women ENJOY being their girlfriends’ envy and we guys’ desire!!!!At 61,I’m a cover boy handsome,muscular,beefy-five-nine,210 lb.,boasting 181/2″ biceps,though like a lot of older chaps,I’m trying to shed about 25 lb.-black Canadian lad who slobberingly ogles and pursues chesty gals,and am FREQUENTLY approached by the ladies!!!!!

    • I have surveyed my female students on various sides of this issue.

      A smallish percent feel exactly as you say.

      Women with boyfriends can get turned off by their guy’s ogling, though. So a guy may have to think about his priorities. The woman who loves him and has sex with him or the woman who gets a boost to her self-esteem with your look.

  27. Both men and women look first at a woman’s crotch if she’s wearing pants, and at her breasts if she’s wearing a skirt or dress.
    It’s rude to stare if the object of your stare can see you doing it. Also if your woman (or in the case of a woman, her man) is near or can see you doing it.

Thoughts? (Comments will appear after moderation)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: