How to Find Love After Divorce [9 Tips]

Finding love

By Christian Denmon

Ending a marriage is the most difficult period in an individual’s life. Finding love again for the second time can be more complex than the first time. Just like death, divorce requires grieving the loss of a loved one, before we begin dating again. Skipping this crucial process may bring complications when a divorced couple tries to get back into the dating scene again.

It’s important to find some quiet time in solitude to comprehend the breakup regardless of who initiated it. Perfect activities to keep the mind off the loss cycle include:

  • Therapy
  • Yoga
  • Reading
  • Bowling
  • Biking
  • Community work

All these activities provide a new way of perceiving the new life ahead. Whichever healing methods estranged couples pick, they should reconnect with their inner spirit and feel good from the inside before they begin to search for new love.

Tips to Finding A Good Partner After Divorce

It is important to release the personal heartbreak or consider going for marriage counselling before delving into a new relationship. Below is a compilation of useful suggestion and ideas to adopt before we move into a new relationship.

1. Love is Timeless

Divorce experts concur that once a couple separates, there’s no particular time granted to heal and move on to the next relationship. They should not try to find a middle ground or prescribe to “healing goals, or time frames.” It does not work that way. Understanding this will help them in coping with divorce.

Divorced men and women should not rush into temporary rebounds to fill their loneliness. Getting ready to date depends on the attachment to the previous relationship.

If they feel empty and ready to date again, that’s awesome, if not, they should hold back and address those feelings first.

Some folks believe that after a divorce, it is hard to commit to a second marriage based on their experiences. This weak mentality should not prevent them from moving on into happy, fulfilling relationships. True love and happiness is a choice. Give it time; it does not matter how long.

2. Maintaining a Healthy Relationship with an Ex-Partner

In most cases, divorce often affects children involved in the just concluded marriage. Separation legal tussles may take a toll on everyone involved if not handled properly.

What is important here is that they should show some sense of respect to their children, since both still participate in their lives in the new separation environment.

Make it easy for the children by keeping the relationship cordial and pleasant for the sake of the kids. Let the kids know that they can rely on either parent without disagreements and constant verbal fights.

3. Online Dating Works

Nowadays online dating is no longer a place for young singles to mingle and have fun. Many people have found admirable partners through online dating. When we find a soul mate, distance does not matter.

Divorcees don’t have to worry about opening up in the initial stages of getting to know one another.

The dating platforms have a pool of thousands of eligible partners looking for love and companionship. It provides an excellent opportunity for introverts, skeptical people to try their chances without the tedious physical meet and greet, and dinner dates.

Busy individuals can chat right in the middle of their tight schedules and take off from where they left off, without feeling guilty. Serious online dating gives us a wider scope to “fish” for as long as we like until the perfect person comes along.

4. Find Love through Hobbies

Another excellent way to find suitable potential partners to fill the void in our lives is through hobbies. Pick activities that involve the outdoors or that require meeting other people. Attend concerts, visit art galleries or join a local fun karaoke club.

Do anything we love within the community that will have us mingle with potential singles. It’s easier for people to meet and attract those that they share common interests.

5. Trust Friends Who Mean Well

Our friends understand best what we go through in the middle of our storms. A few trusted friends will try to hook us up with potential friends and family members just to cheer us and help us move on after divorce. Don’t try to fight it or keep off matchmakers.

A blind date organized by someone close to us provides a great distraction to experience new friendships that may develop into something deeper when given time to blossom.

6. Stop Looking at the Past

Digging through the past doesn’t help at all. It hurts and delays progress, making us feel trapped in a place that we would rather not stay. After a breakup, try to get rid of anything that reminds us of the past relationship. It will not be easy but gather up the courage to get rid of things such as:

  • Old photos
  • Facebook accounts
  • Twitter/Instagram Accounts
  • Old clothes and personal items
  • Anything else shared with an ex-partner
  • Lie low for a while if necessary, choose the future, accept it, and embrace it.

7. Rejection Hurts

Fear of rejection among divorced couples prevents them from moving on. There is always the feeling of what if it doesn’t work? Every opportunity to meet someone is a risk in itself. Stop trying to fill in the gaps with mindless perceptions.

If it’s meant to be it will work, if not, we have another chance to try again, but this time to date consciously, more carefully since we don’t want to repeat the same mistakes.

8. Define What Works and What Doesn’t In the Next Relationship

Finding love from a divorced angle provides a perfect chance to see through potential complications since we are aware of what we don’t want this time round.

If we find a man or woman with the same traits, for example, they drink too much, or work late into the night, we already know it is a red flag, and it will not work. Set boundaries and define what is acceptable and what is not.

9. Be Open to Experience New Love

Some people find it tedious to balance parenthood and to find new love. It can only happen if we let it be. Schedule dates and get involved, allow the moment to settle in the bones and begin to date again. Dating is fun and happiness.

If someone makes us happy in the middle of our next to impossible lives, go for it and don’t hold back. Avoid high expectations though, keep up with the current hustles of kids (if any) and work.

Let love find us at our most peaceful place, a place of enjoyment and fulfillment. Experience love by allowing dating moments the time it deserves.

It’s Okay to Start Dating After Divorce

Divorced singles, may not find it easy getting back into the dating game because of the baggage they may carry long after the divorce conclusion. Sometimes work, and parenting takes precedence of all other activities, and that’s normal.

However, it’s possible to find love again if we know where to look, and stay committed to a new life of dating once more. We must also learn to embrace our mistakes, forgive, and have the courage to start dating again.

Remarriage may seem a long shot off our radar after a painful divorce. However, remember, we have to remain positive and realize that we will meet far better people than our ex-partners. We have a chance to find love and happiness again and do it right this time.

Christian Denmon is the Founding Partner of Denmon & Denmon, A Personal Injury, Divorce, and Criminal Defense Law Firm. |

You might be interested in the Coping With Divorce Guide 

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on January 8, 2018, in reproductive rights and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I suspect the divorce experience is different for everyone depending upon the circumstances, but I believe it best to look at it as an opportunity. Oh, and “always” hire your own lawyer. For those of you who believe you are going to have a friendly divorce, I believe the best you can hope for is a civilized divorce. And for you ladies, I leave with the words of Zaza Gabor, who said she was a very good house keeper. Every time she divorced a man, she kept his house 🙂

  2. That is all very true, there is life and love after divorce. First we don’t believe it and then it comes and as divorcees we know more what we want, and what we don’t want, which makes is easier.

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