Category Archives: sexism
I Made Fun of Feminists… Before My Abuse
Rape Awareness
By Anonymous
I used to make fun of feminists because I wanted boys to like me. Back before I met a boy who abused me. Before realizing that I lived in a culture that supported my abuse, and that kept me from questioning it.
TRIGGER WARNING May be triggering for some survivors of sexual violence
At seventeen I met my ex-boyfriend. It was small things at first. He’d put me down and laugh it off.
The first time he raped me I didn’t cry. I was numb. I asked if he realized what he’d done and he had said, matter-of-factly, “All girls get raped at some point.” Read the rest of this entry
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Why Some Guys Want to Screw You
It’s really confusing. Every week you have some dorm seminar on sexual assault, and a constant buzz about what’s appropriate. Then you go to a party on the weekend and it’s everything they said to avoid. Get girls drunk so they’ll have sex with you. Lying to them or telling them how interested you are in them and how much you like them, when it’s completely not true. All you really want to do is have sex with them and then get the hell out of there.
– One man’s take on male/female relations on college campuses
While there are a lot of really great guys out there, unfortunately for women today, some guys still want to screw you. Read the rest of this entry
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I Overate Because I Felt Guilty Eating
What if I just have a small slice of raspberry cheesecake? I was good today, I deserve it. Maybe a bigger slice would be okay if I eat celery later? They would cancel each other out, right? Or I could eat the cake while jogging in place?
These are the musings of a young woman’s mind in a Yoplait yogurt ad. Sound familiar?
Does to me. Evokes the mantra that once ruled my twenty-something brain. Back then, food was both magic and evil. That’s a noxious combination, known to create obsessions and addictions. Read the rest of this entry
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The Allure of Bad Boys
Why do women fall for bad boys?
My students ask that question all the time.
Michael Kimmel, who studies men, asked his women students to choose between the charming rouge, Rhett Butler and dependable Ashley Wilkes.
Do I have to choose?
They groaned.
Are those my only choices?
They pled.
Because the women liked — and disliked — characteristics of both.
Forced to choose Read the rest of this entry
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Saying Yes When You Want To Say No
Many women agree to sex that they aren’t too interested in. University of Texas, Austin researchers say the reasons vary. Some want to nurture relationship. Some are doing what they think is expected. Others feel pressured. A few want to avoid a fight. It can be a problem. Or, unexpected benefits may arise. Today, let’s look at the downside.
Some women are pleasers and feel uncomfortable saying no. Ironically, one woman’s religion got her saying yes to premarital sex because her church had kept her naïve and encouraged passivity,
Persistence from a partner, emotional games, alcohol, passivity, and difficulty saying no were all important factors. I felt nervous, unsure and confused. I didn’t want to make the other person angry with me. When things didn’t go the way I trusted them to I didn’t know what to do. These experiences all occurred before age 19, after which I got stronger and wiser.
Some fear rejection. As another woman explained, Read the rest of this entry
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Reclaim the Sacred Feminine Via Venus
By Yo Mama
For too long feminine energy has been ignored, sidelined, or maligned: we have forgotten that this energy, like male energy, is sacred. It is not to be bought or sold, disrespected, abused, or tied up with a pretty bow and left on a shelf to slowly dissolve, like cotton candy or false dreams. It is not to be dressed up or dressed down for the purpose of enhancing male power. It is time for us—men as well as women—to reconnect to this energy, and heal.
While there are many manifestations of the sacred feminine, the one we need so that women may fully own their sexual power is Venus. That’s right, the goddess of beauty and love. Read the rest of this entry
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Frozen Hearts Thaw, Grow Empowered
How does the evolution of Disney Princesses reflect evolved notions of women? Let’s take a look at “Frozen” sisters, Anna and Elsa. (Spoiler alert!)
We meet the young girls as joyous, inseparable friends. Until the day Elsa discovers a surprising power. In a state of heightened emotion, she unwittingly zaps little sis, freezing her.
Luckily, a magic troll heals Anna and erases the scary memory. Read the rest of this entry
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Burqas Don’t Stop Harassment, Rush
Walk up to the woman and say, “Would you please ask your breasts to stop staring at my eyes?”
That’s Rush Limbaugh’s advice after University of Nebraska researchers said it looks like men can control their objectifying behavior as they gain awareness of it. (Btw, objectifying and appreciating that someone is attractive are two different things.)
And that’s a good thing, they say, because objectified women are seen as less friendly, less intelligent and competent, and less moral. That, in turn, leaves women silencing themselves and it undermines their work performance.
Yet Rush insists,
Some of these babes, I’m telling you, like the sexual harassment crowd. They’re out there protesting what they actually wish would happen to them sometimes.
Hmmm. Take a look at a Public Service Ad that puts you in an Egyptian woman’s shoes (where harassment is rampant):
And you know what? Women can’t please Rush whether they look attractive or not. (And most don’t want to please him.) Read the rest of this entry
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Vain, Fashion-Obsessed Women
Women are silly creatures who worry their pretty little heads over fashion and vainly adorn themselves in color, lace and ruffles.
But maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe fashion, lace and ruffles are thought trivial because they are associated with women.
In fact, men were once fashionistas, too.
Many of our serious and revered Founding Fathers wore color, lace, ruffles, embroidered vests, and silk stockings with decorative garters. They also donned wigs, curled their hair and hired tutors to instruct them in the elegance of sitting, standing and gesturing.
Thomas Jefferson was particularly fastidious, his fashion sense costing him a pretty penny. Or, as historians Barbara Clark Smith and Kathy Peiss explain, Read the rest of this entry
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Criminalizing Abortion Doesn’t Stop It
My born again friend worries about me. I want to keep abortion safe and legal. But she wants me to shout down sinners and demand restrictions. I’ll go straight to Hell, for sure.
Truth is, I don’t really like abortion, and I wish that no woman ever felt a need to get one. At the same time I know that accidents happen, mistakes happen, that women become desperate, and that one third of American women have an abortion at some point in their lives.
I also know that criminalizing abortion doesn’t stop it.
A global study by the World Health Organization (WHO) and the Guttmacher Institute found that abortion rates are about the same in countries where it is legal and where it is not.
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