Gay Marriage Protects Marriage

The rainbow White House

The rainbow White House

Mamma, don’t let your daughters grow up to marry gay cowboys.

That’s from a headline I once saw.

You could reverse that:

Mamma, don’t let your gay sons grow up to marry girls.

I get that. Because some of my friends have tried it. Except for the cowboy part.

One of my friends married a man, only to come home early one day to find him in bed with another man.

A gay acquaintance, raised in a religious family, married a woman in hopes of living a good Christian life.

They’re all now divorced.

Gay marriage is a threat to marriage?

Actually, gays and straights marrying each other does not help the divorce rate.

Rainbow flag over SCOTUS

Rainbow flag over SCOTUS

After my friends’ experiences I became paranoid that a gay man would try to marry me, trying to pass, or trying not to be gay, or something. I wished that gays could be out in the open and simply marry who they wanted so I wouldn’t have to deal with that.

And they didn’t want to have to marry straight people, either.

Some still insist that marriage was meant for procreation.

In that case, everyone from my birth family, except for my brother, would have to get divorced immediately. My father and his wife, whom he married late in life, never had children. My mother and her husband married in their 60’s. I’ve suffered fertility problems, myself. My brother, who sired three children, is the only one who’s safe from these folks.

Please, protect my marriage from these “marriage protection” types!

Fortunately one year ago, on June 26, 2017, a divided Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples could marry, nationwide.

Good.

Gay marriage is good for marriage.

This piece is updated for the one year anniversary of the Supreme Ct ruling allowing gay marriage.

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on June 24, 2016, in feminism, LGBT+ and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. It makes me sad that it’s so hard for gays to come out. It’s the 21st century!

  2. The legalization of same-sex marriage was a great victory for LGBT right last year. But coming from a very conservative culture in China, I know there’re still so many places where same-sex marriage is not legal, and even now in the US, lots people are still very afraid to come out. One of the issues comes that, which affects lots of women, is “gay-straight marriage”. Because of family, religion or society pressure, many gays not only are too afraid to come out but also have to marry to straight women in order to look “normal”. However, people put so much attention to blame the society for not accepting same-sex marriage that they seem ignore the fact that gay men in this kind of marriages should also be blamed. I totally understand why one would do this (because I’m gay and I come from a very conservative family and society, I know the struggle), but I’m strongly against gay men marring straight women not only because he is being dishonest to himself but also because he is ruining the other person’s life. This is an extremely selfish behavior.

  3. I can personally relate to this because one of my close family members is gay. Many of my other family members ask him if he is ever curious go out with girls even though he has made it very clear that he is not interested in women. The key difference here is that he is not socially influenced to marry a woman because it is “the normal thing to do.” I think what really contributes to this is that my family and his friends do not tell him its wrong to be attracted to men or that the “normal” thing to do is marry a woman. I think that men or women who marry the opposite sex just because it is the “normal thing to do” struggle with acceptance because of their personal life and/or society. I believe that same-sex marriage being legalized was a huge step in acceptance of the LGBTQ community but there is still a long way to go to reach acceptance.

  4. Jose Antonio Buenrostro

    My view on most things related to liberties is quite simple. If what you want to do is in no way potentially dangerous to you or anyone else, than you should be free to do as you please. Gay marriage is one of those things that always made sense to me and it has been more difficult to really understand anyone who apposes it. It is marriage. It may not the traditional form we grew up learning about, but the meaning, what it entails and the reason people should want to do it is all the same. We should want people to be who they are and not feel pressure to be forced into a lie of a life. If you’re gay, that’s great, nothing wrong with that. If you’re not, that is just as fine. We should all feel free to live a truthful life and not feel the need to hide who you are from other people. Sure I understand why people have hid from their reality in the past, but we are in a different age now. If you are gay, you can freely marry who ever you’d like and if anyone opposes it we must understand that those opinions simply do not matter.

  5. Even with the law passing in the US that made it legal for same sex couples to get married, it is still difficult for gay people to come out of the closet and be proud to be gay. There is still a great deal of people, religions, families as well as society who are against gay people. This makes it really hard for gay people to be free and be who they are, and for the ones who are not afraid, they are affect by stupid people who decide to do horrible things to them for being themselves. Look at the recent shooting in Orlando at a gay nightclub that left 49 or so people dead and another 49 or 50 people seriously injured. This was a sick hate crime that was commented, simply because people were out enjoying being who they are. I will be so glad when we live in a world where we can freely express ourselves and be who we are without judgement being passed upon us. We have a long way to go, and hopefully everyone comes to their senses and just love people and let them be.

  6. When I first read the title, it leaves me with many questions, specifically, I wanted to ask, how? This is a very controversy topic. Whether gay marriage is beneficial or not, it really up to the reader’s background and acknowledgement on same-sex marriage. Since I am a Christian, being taught by marriage should be between men and women is what called the right thing to do, and anything else besides one man and one woman marriage is wrong and sin. Therefore, one year ago, I was really angry about the legalization on same-sex marriage. My irritation on this is solely based what the bible says. As time pass by, although I personally insist that marriage should be between man and woman, but I am more open-mined on this now, and your article leads me to find some reasons to agree with you. As a result, I read an online article named 7 Ways the U.S.A. Benefits From Gay Marriage. Lipp listed some important factors that same-sex marriage actually makes a better society (Lipp, 2016). Lipp stated that there were positive psychological, physical, and social wellbeing amongst LGBT people, and it reduced politicization of LGBT rights, and the fact that the legalization of same-sex marriage gave equal rights to all human beings really strengthen national identity and international reputations. Although some may still attack same-sex marriage using some strong evidence and extreme cases, if women were once being nebulized, and now having the same rights as men, why shouldn’t LGBT people get the same right as well?

    • And marriage between a straight woman and a gay man, or a straight man and lesbian woman, is not healthy. Who wants to be with someone who would rather be with someone else? That’s not good for marriage.

  7. The same-sex marriage just approved in Washington last year, the shocking new was speared all over the world rapidly. However, in some Asian countries, the topic related to the LGBT group still very sensitive towards the public. More specific, the traditional Chinses family tends to let their next generation to get married as soon as possible for the purpose of procreation. So more LGBT people choose to marry by pretending they are straight. Since none of them want to be treated unfairly and discriminated. The distinguished culture gap between nationality results in big threats towards the female.

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