Fetishes are Natural – Unless Desensitized?
Posted by BroadBlogs
I get a lot of feedback on a piece I wrote called, “Men Aren’t Hard Wired To Find Breasts Arousing.”
There, I note that you don’t find the breast fetish in every culture. For instance, you don’t find it in tribal societies. So it can’t be biological.
Several men have suggested that the fetish is natural, but when you see it all the time men simply become desensitized. Like this guy:
Acknowledging the possibility that desensitization explains why tribal cultures can live without female breasts being covered, without constant male arousal, I want to point out that cultural factors can desensitize as well as fetishize.
Sure, once you have a fetish you can become desensitized to it, which happens with men who overdose on porn. Or men who find that their partners provoke less of a fetishy response over time. Leaving a lot of guys watching porn so that the fetish response lives on.
But as I’ve said before:
The breast fetish wasn’t in existence for early humans
- Genetic adaptations that affect us today occurred thousands of years ago among our prehistoric ancestors
- Our earliest ancestors — for thousands of years — lived in tribal societies
- No tribal societies fetishize breasts
- So for thousands of years no one fetishized breasts
- And yet people reproduced, anyway
- So the fetish was not created to encourage reproduction
- Today people in tribal societies still don’t experience a breast fetish — yet they do reproduce
If the breast fetish wasn’t in existence for early humans, there was no fetish to get used to, and become desensitized to.
Here’s what creates a fetish:
- Selectively hide and reveal — creating sexual tension
- Declare a body part sexy, and then say, “Don’t look at it!” — creating sexual tension
- Obsess over the body part: The camera zeros in on it. People talk about it incessantly… Because it is declared soooo sexy.
The breast fetish is actually bad for sex
And actually, the breast fetish is frequently bad for sex.
Due to our cultural fetish, women start to think that it’s really important to have the “right” breasts. Yet around 70% of them think that theirs aren’t good enough. And nearly 90% of my women’s students say that when they are in bed they can get distracted from sex over concerns about how they look.
And that makes sex anything but pleasurable.
This is likely one reason why nearly half of American women experience some form of sexual dysfunction, like one or more these: a lack of interest in sex, painful sex, difficulty with orgasm.
But really, why would a woman be interested in sex, be lubricated enough that it won’t be painful, and easily orgasm… if they AREN’T having an erotic experience BECAUSE they are distracted with concern over whether their bodies look attractive enough?
So the breast fetish is often the opposite of adaptive.
- Does Sexual Objectification Lead to Bad Sex?
- Sex Objects Who Don’t Enjoy Sex
- Being Sexual vs Looking Sexual