I’ve often times looked into the whole stereotype of guys being rude to win a girls attention. It traces back to elementary school when a boy would tease a girl and her mom or teachers would explain, “If a boy is mean to you it’s because he likes you.” This idea that has been plunged into girls is toxic. It also goes into the “Beauty and the Beast” concept of a girl “changing” a difficult boy. I think men have gotten away with being rude to impress a possible interest and it really is a problem. But the opposite isn’t any better. After the rude approach guys is the self piteous man who claims “Girls only like bad boys and no one wants a nice guy” which is both manipulative and entitled because they believe their kindness is entitlement to a woman’s body. Essentially the way I see it is boys need to stop the games and tricks to win a girl’s attention because either way it’s a sign of entitlement.

I think guy’s like that are sad and jerks. There is also something I read, well not actually read, but saw posted on a dating site of another tactic. It’s not mean like the “neg” pua thing. I can’t say it’s actually mean, but a tip of what attracts girls. But I don’t care for it, because I think it’s fake, meaningn guy’s are prefending or putting on an act which they aren’t. I only think it works if the guy is nice, but it’s naturally a part of his personality. I think some things can be worked on but others a person naturally has. What I’m talking about is this “cocky, nice” thing that some deangelo guy wrote about.

I believe him in the sense of that i can work and what not, but it’s if a guy is actually a nice, funny, charming guy, who when he is cocky, it’s in a grain of salt, playful way, and can tease himself too. Some use “swagger”, but I don’t like that word either. My problem with this approach though it usually doesn’t cause a man to be a jerk or mean to a woman, unless he’s an idiot. I think it’s a lie that this deangelo guy is selling. The reason I say this is because I think thing work best when naturally done. When a person tries do put on an act or act a certain way to attract a girl, then it’s fake and doesn’t work as well. The reason is because it puts pressure on the man in the situation and even the woman when not done naturally. For example, women like guys who are funny.

But a guy on a date or meeting a girl at a club, etc and who is “trying to be funny” and conscious of it, then usually he’ll often not be funny or she can see he’s trying too hard to be funny and a turn off. A man emphasizing cocky and funny, that will be his objective and then not natural and therefore, not real and fake. I see how the cocky and funny can work, as It’s one thing I do sometimes when flirting or being playful and girls like. But it’s only in certain contexts, and basically me not tryijng to be that way and simpy talking and just letting convo goes where it goes. If something she says creates something funny in response to be said, then I say it. If not, then I don’t force it or what ever. If something comes up, timing and context wise and my mind catches humor or something to tie in a smartass, cocky in a playful, funny way remark then it happens. But I’m not waiting for that moment to do that or thinking to do so. But yes the negging thing is just stupid and guy’s don’t need to be jerks to girls. While I think the guys are jerks, in a way it seems like a bi product of society too though of guys having to approach women and prioritize that, that finding or using “tactics” even if mean would be devised to help men try to attract women or use to sell books to lonely man having trouble and profit off these men.