Men Have Torpedos; Women Have “No-No’s”

A Rhetorische Torpedo

A Rhetorische Torpedo

By Raissa Mbassa

Have you ever thought about slang for our privates?

Some of my guy friends call theirs a “pocket rocket” or a “torpedo.”

Let’s see, a rocket is an incendiary weapon, while a torpedo is a tube-shaped bomb that’s fired underwater. Both cause tremendous destruction to whatever they’re aimed at.

It’s all painted in glorification. Victory. A magic stick of supernatural powers. A man’s best friend. 

Female “privates” are more about delicateness and purity. The vagina is a pearl. Valuable and protected inside an oyster’s shell. Oysters create pearls as a defense mechanism, suggesting they are something to protect, to defend, and to hide deep.

Or, the vagina might be called a lady garden. This is not just any garden, but a beautiful one, which must be handled with care and nurturing.

So, it’s no wonder that guys sit with their legs spread open, as if there might be a trophy between them, while women keep their legs together, their privates hidden. Maybe padlocked.

Growing up in Africa, my mom taught me to call my vagina either ‘no-no’, ‘down there’ or ‘privates’. My brothers called their penises ‘zizi’ (a slang word for penis in French).

“No-no” could mean many things. No, don’t touch it. No, don’t look at it. No, don’t play with it. No, don’t experience it. No, don’t have fun with it. No, don’t have pleasure with it.

As a girl who was taught the first 18 years of her life that her vagina was a no-no I might be more reluctant when it comes to experiencing new things with my partner, or I might be more embarrassed to be naked. Or I might learn that my vagina and sex are bad.

But even American girls often called theirs, “down there” suggesting something unacknowledged and unspeakable.

It’s all one more reason why we women experience more sexual dysfunction than men. It’s one more way that we are taught that there is more shame in our sexuality.

I can’t help but dream of a day when things will be different.

Related Posts on BroadBlogs
“Cock” vs “Down There”
Boob: A Breast? Or a Fool?
Sex: Who Gets Screwed?

About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on August 27, 2014, in feminism, gender, men, psychology, sex and sexuality, women and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 48 Comments.

  1. I believe this is 100% true. As children we grow up learning that vaginas are sacred and should always be protected. However, penises are no big deal; they do not hold the same “value” as vaginas. Men can talk openly about their penis and their hormones, but women are looked down upon even if they mention the word vagina or horny.

    I think this directly relates to women and how they value losing their virginity. I feel that most men are proud when they lose their virginity. On the other hand, women become more vulnerable and ashamed for losing it. Men are not judged for having multiple sex partners, but when it comes to women, she is called a slut and a whore. Society has given us this impression that it should be different for each sex.

    Growing up in this society, I am embarrassed if I talk about sex. Boys in high school have absolutely no shame when they talk about sex, make jokes about penises, or draw penises all over the place. Maybe this has to do with maturity, but why is it that most boys go through this phase? Or why is it that girls never really go through this phase? Our expectations for each gender are completely opposite from each other. I believe kids should be taught to value their privates regardless of their gender. Maybe this will bring us closer to equality.

  2. The words we use to describe our body parts shape the way we feel about those body parts. These terms are learned from the people we interact with, our friends or our family. Terms like “no-no” or “secret place” or “nether regions” indicate the vagina is a place not to be touched. Other terms like “coochie” or “vajayjay” or “wooha” are more abstract and seem to indicate that this part of the body is less than real. Other terms like “pussy” or “beaver” are dehumanizing, associating the vagina with animals.

    We seem to use these nicknames or terms because we are embarrassed as a society. We have learned that vaginas and penises are embarrassing and sometimes shameful. However, if we begin to use these actual terms for those parts of anatomy then we are actually empowering ourselves and our sex. There is absolutely nothing shameful about calling something by its name. And we must start teaching by example, using real terms, not made-up or slang terms.

  3. I recently read an article about slang words for genitals that are popularly used today. People were asked to provide as many terms as they could think of for a penis and vagina and they found that many of the words provided for vagina were negative in connotation. Like the above post says, many refered to the penis as a sort of weapon, something powerful or triumphant, but the vagina was likened to many ugly things. Gash, axe wound, it was all negative. It’s either a delicate, hot house daisy that nobody can speak of or, if explored, a dirty, damning thing. It’s funny to see that one gender’s sexuality can be so celebrated while the other’s is like some mythical beast or something better kept a secret.

  4. More fun terms: a la la, a Britney, and my personal favourite, the growler.

  5. Then again something just came to me. Then again there might be less or seemingly less stuff, because perhaps there is less judgment on men’s and womens role. So what is kinky to us in america, might be routine for ancient tribes. I don’t know

  6. Actually I just looked at stuff by tribal cultures and some were pretty crazy. But these were based on culture or relgious belief for sex related practices, thus, it was not so much out of experimentation, but the culture beliefs or relgion which people went through or a ritual.

  7. “Well, one difference is that Women in Western societies may well enjoy food more than tribal women, With all of the variety we have now compared to then. On the other hand, tribal women from sex-positive societies enjoy sex more than Western women.”

    That’s because women in America feel so much pressure and shamed, and repressed so it apparently has an effect on their ability to enjoy sex and have orgasms. Tribal women have orgasms because they don’t have the shaming and can openly enjoy sex. it’s not the basic sex that is causing the enjoyment,its the freedom to enjoy themselves without being shunned for being sexual. However, I think if women in america or the structure to hypothetically be equal or more equal and women not slum shamed or women able to have orgasms as a result. I would then think, women in america would enjoy sex than tribal women. Having orgasms, plus a culture not so basic and being creative with sex, would only add to sex enjoyment. Of course tribal women enjoy sex if they aren’t repressed and able to have orgasms. But it’s natural to not know something could be better when what you’re doing is already good, so you stick to the same stuff.

    It’s only then that you see other stuff and try them, that one realizes, the more fun they missed on or could have by experimenting with sex as far as kink or different positions, etc.

    • Maybe so.

      And for sure on this: “That’s because women in America feel so much pressure and shamed, and repressed so it apparently has an effect on their ability to enjoy sex and have orgasms.”

  8. Can’t agree more.We females put so much reverence for our privates as if it’s something that should never be touched, never be enjoyed…it’s a sanctum sanctorum and should be protected by every means. Aren’t we are human like our male counterparts? don’t we’ve that much freedom even to mention about our desires and feelings ? …and most importantly , why is this taboo only for us ?

    Being born and brought up in a country like India, where we put utmost value to tradition and culture, I fully can relate to your every word. I don’t have any problem with age old traditions …all I want is to get rid of this gender discrimination… world wide..

  9. I think it’s unfprtunate what gender expecations to for men and women in various ways. From regular real world life to in the bedroom. Women have pressure to be passive, and not sluts and pretty and maybe not be aggressive, and taught that men are to take charge. And men have a small line to balance between acting masculine and not masculne or feminine. But yeah it sucks because like men consciously or sub consciously absorb this. Women seem to as well and how they think men are to act or should act. It’s a disservice because women feel they have to hold up their feminine standards with beauty or not to be slutty or else be judged or show too much in bed as fear her boyfriend might think she’s a slut and promiscious. And a man to be more dominant than submissive in bed or mainly take charge as the last thing he wants is his woman to think he’s gay or less of a man, because he’s not “being a man in bed” Or to have to be dominant and take charge when he rather be submissive too sometimes. Because he’s a man or has muscles, that expectation of him from society and even women expecting it from him in bed.

    I’ll give an example not sex related, but in relation to expectations or assumption just based on appearance, Before working where I am now, I worked some retail jobs. One a hardware place like Home Depot. I have a degree and learned how to have good interviews. I applied for a job, with sales, but also some lifting required. But all these questions were about customer service and what I would do for this and that, which I had good answers. Though with all that, I think I was hired simply because of my built ha. I seriously think the manager saw “this guy is young and strong, we want him”. Since I’ve been lifting I have muscles, though not big, I’m failry toned and muscular. Not tall, but pretty built. So I worked at another placer after. This job not too bad. But I applied for cashier and produce clerk and avoided carts, as I don’t think that’s a wonderful job. After I was hired, I was put for cashier some days, but other days, full day pushing carts when extremely busy.

    It’s not tiring on my muslces as I’m strong, but it makes for a very, very long day, pushing 12 carts stacked up hill in scorching hot sun dodging people and cars, and people coming out the same door you’re pushing through and having to turn huge stack in small space. Contort your body and slide them, friction from the carpet and all in narrow hall all the way down to push carts in, inside. And then continue that 8 hours, never catching up or getting to slow down, because you have to keep pace and every stack you push in, 8 people are coming out with carts that you have to get back in. My point to this is, though I have a degree and retail experience, they did have my for other positions, but they thought they would add me, because I have a dick, even though I didn’t apply to it and because my muscles.

    “He didn’t apply for this position, but he’s a man and strong looking, we’re gonna have him to some grunt work for us of course” Meanwhile there was a young guy, boy, 18 years old. Nice kid actually, but he’s a small framed dude, and he’s doing nothing but cashier ha. I didn’t care though, as he’s a nice kid, so it wasn’t about me wanting him to do it, but I found that amusing about expectations. It makes me think of that with sex too. Because I’m strong and muscles, I have to be that dominant guy all the time. Because I’m strong and built, I have to be the heavy lifting guy apparently for jobs even though other guys work there too.

  10. “If you’re acting super interested in someone and she very much wants that, Then it’s great. If you’re hurting someone, it’s not.”

    Consentual rough sex of course. Though some people like sex that hurts too though it seems in the s/m sense, thought they have safe words and make sure things are agreed upon or not past any limits. Though that stuff is not my cup of tea. I’m talking about aggression as in passion and it wanted from the person or enjoyed. But kinky ness can be good too.

    Are primitive people basic with their sex? Does sexualizing, allow sex to be “fancied up a little?”, thus many more kinks, and stuff added and done, whereas, basic primitive view of sex, lead to basic sex from tribal people? Sure they might be happy with the same stuff, becaus they don’t know better. But then again that’s true for someone having the same food every day or not all the types of variety or creativity with food and is content. But then sees there’s much more variety and thinks and realizes “wow, I’ve been eating basic food, when I could’ve had all this variety or added this”

    • I’m not sure about men but I know that women in these sex-positive cultures enjoy sex much more then Women in our culture. They are much more interested. Probably because they are both easily and multiply orgasmic. I suspect that women in our culture need kinky, sexed up things to make up for the repression.

      Men’s sexuality is not nearly as repressed as women’s in our culture, but it is more repressed than men in those sex positive cultures. So they may need something to make up for it too. But on the other side, men nowadays have something that men have historically never had, And that is Internet porn. Now men are able to have virtual sex with such a variety of women, and such a high number of women, that many are losing their ability to get aroused by “a woman” and need more to get them going, Like violence, or other weird kinky things.

      Things for questions like these, by the way. They’re very interesting.

      • I think it’s the fact that, sex like food and living is more basic, and about survival, that’s its more basic in those tribal cultures. There’s a luxury here, powerful nation, people here have plentiful food, clothes, and sex not only for procreation and for pleasure, but fun, thus teasing, strip teases, porn, etc. The sexualizing has a lot to do with that. But I think it’s the same way in regard to differences here vs tribal cultures like that. Look how we and other nations like are with food. It’s a basic necessity and while it’s naturaly to enjoy food. Tribal cultures for the most part hunt and have their meat and cook it over the fire. They may have some cooking methods. It’s basic level stuff. Here in america with our luxury of food, we “dress” food up and all the culinary stuff to it. I mean look at iron chef america and the food network. I like cooking and what not.

        But the judges critiqueing specialized, fancy cooked foods and say it’s not that good or could be better. When you know it’s because our abundance of food,,to dress food up and critque it. Wherese, if our asses are starving, we will be going on a basic level and be happy with simply putting the meat, not flavored over the fire. Hell a ritz cracker will taste like a filet mignon if you’re starving. Here in America, high industrialized nation, dress up sex and get all creative with sex as a result, like food. Because we don’t have to live on a basic means and I guess to entertain ourselves. Hell, some erotic related books bring up, food being brought into the bedroom like strawberries and fruits, for a twist to erotic intimacy.

        I see the bad and good. But I don’t think its bad having kin though. I think tribal cultures doing the same stuff or basic sex, are missing out. Just like a person eating the same food everyday when they could try other stuff. Nothing wrong with creativity, the only downside is where some feel it has to be extreme, like some men because they can’t get off or get bored with most sex except for extreme stuff. Though many or most guys still find most sexual stuff good or some kinkiness but not needing any extreme stuff. Some guys might not get aroused because of needing extreme stuff. But it can also be from men simply masturbating so much, and become a little desensitized physically from over stimulation. But not necessarily from simply porn, but men’s libidos spiked from the sexualization of women, and same men not getting sex. Therefore, to cope guys masturbating a lot.

      • Well, one difference is that Women in Western societies may well enjoy food more than tribal women, With all of the variety we have now compared to then. On the other hand, tribal women from sex-positive societies enjoy sex more than Western women.

  11. Me too! I hope I’m around to see this.

    Interesting that guys also refer to their privates as a pocket rocket, which imo is one of the best vibrators ever 🙂 Glad you pointed out that men are taught to be proud of theirs while with women the non naming is often associated w the shame so many have been conditioned to take on.

  12. This makes me believe that there is a subtle line between victory and excitement, as I was reading about the different neurochemicals that play an important role on the emotions we experience. While victory and excitement may feel the same, they are very different as well.

  13. Sometimes, I still think this is why it takes me a while to be comfortable in sexual situations. I’m getting better, but I still feel uncomfortable with my body a lot. Using correct biological terms help, but I can’t do that in public.

    Once, I spoke about my senior thesis on FGM to a group of people. The small group of people laughed hysterically as I used words like ‘clitoris’ and ‘labia’ to describe the process. They didn’t even register what I was talking about because I had just said ‘clitoris. ‘ It’s so frustrating.

  14. “Since you don’t find aggressive sexuality everywhere, it can’t be innate for men. See Cherokee, Iroquois, before Euro contact, for example. The aggression toward women accompanies patriarchy.”

    I don’t think aggressive is bad though or men being aggressive as far as sex goes, as me being a man, understands, the desire to be dominant or rough sex sometimes. But me being an open minded person and one who likes variety, and think outside of the box, likes balance with how people treat their bodies and do as far as sex goes.

    Though I have to wonder if the primitive tribes, had “basic sex” meaning their view of sex, being pleasure and procreation, maybe more about procreation was more basic as simply sex enjoyment to get off, but the thought process not adding eroticism to it. I see the good and bad from culture of sexualizing. The bad with the taboo and how people feel about their bodies and sexuality. But also, it seems to have brought more, variety, creative sexual thoughts, kinkyness, role play, props, etc to sex, making it more with variety. I’m sure there was some different stuff they did, but any kinkyness added? I know variety is nothing new and can go back to ancient cultures. But these were patriarchal cultures and more civilization based. For example, many people know of the kama sutra, which is many positions and love making, and originated in ancient India.

    • Aggressive sex may be harmful or not, It depends on how it’s done.

      If you’re acting super interested in someone and she very much wants that, Then it’s great. If you’re hurting someone, it’s not.

  15. “I think most women want a sexually, “take charge” man in the bedroom. That does not mean jack hammering them into oblivion…But, it does mean dominance!

    Studies show this as well. Just as studies show that during the peak of a woman’s cycle, she prefers sex with a dominant, fit, muscular guy. There are even studies that show women experience orgasm more often from famous and wealthy men.”

    Which is exactly my point. It’s ironic since broadblogs here stated how women aren;t getting pleasure and men aren’t pleasing their women as often. This seems more often due to women’s repression and not telling what they like or knowing their own bodies than men. Some of it being men. But as you see, is it not men as it seems. As far as initiation and “doing” goes, guy’s are the one’s taking charge and usually the one’s aggressively, lustfully, passionately all over the woman’s body. If it’s one getting the most pleasure it should be women, because more often than not, it’s men devouring her body, not her to him. And I get it, me being a man and how horny I can be and I don’t know testosterone and how I can be aggressive and passionate with the girl I’m with and she loves it and the ecstacy she’s in.

    While, it’s great and I and men like to take charge, balance would be nice. Then again so many men, have it ingrained from the way they talk that not only they like taking charge, but dominance is what they are all about. I like to be open minded about things. I guess it would be nice for women to view their bodies and themselves or want to be more aggressive too or actually see it that way. But seeing their vaginas as passive or their bodies like that, probably doesn’t help or adds to this passive view of themselves and how they are supposed to be in the bedroom. I don;t know.

    • But what is pointed to by evolutionary psychology as dominant isn’t clear. (And it’s also not clear that this happens as women ovulate.)

      Evidence is that women like tall, muscular men. It’s often called evidence of dominance, But I don’t think it has to be. It could be evidence of physical fitness when it comes to muscularity. And women don’t like too muscular, Which would be more dominant. They prefer less muscular men you finding Cosmo versus more muscular men you find in Men’s Health.

      And then dominance is sometimes indicated by things like A man putting his hand on another man’s back. The guy placing his hand is considered dominant. Well, that’s not all that dominant.

      It’s also evidence of men dominating men, not men dominating women. And in the animal world it’s males dominating other males who get the females. And then they aren’t dominating the females, they’re having sex with them.

      Also, American men and women both tend to prefer sexual partners were confident. And all of these things are signalers of confidence.

      There’s also evidence that women prefer betas over dominant men, historically — at least to marry. Because betas stick around.

      And women actually have an odd mixture of likes. Some of which don’t seem very dominating. They like men who dance well, which seems kind of feminine — but sexy (and I saw research that found that people who can dance well tend to be good in bed).

      Within also prefer men with a good sense of humor. And that’s not dominating.

      What all of these things to have in common is that they Signal a sense of confidence. (Financial success, Too.)

      Men are drawn to status and confidence too. Like a lot of guys like anorexic Victoria’s Secret models. That’s largely about status, And perceived confidence.

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215420/What-REALLY-makes-woman-want-sleep-man.html

      • “Evidence is that women like tall, muscular men. It’s often called evidence of dominance,”

        Yup!!! Right off the bat about 80% of American men are excluded by most women. The only time many women seem to desire the “other” men is for marriage…..But NOT for sex! Perhaps this explain why the sex goes to hell in marriage?

      • And men’s preferences exclude about 80% of American women.

        But preferences don’t mean you’ll never get a date. And some studies have shown that when you get to know people looks become less important.

  16. “Yet women in egalitarian, sex-positive cultures enjoy sex more. Easily and multiply orgasmic.”

    Are we talking Scandinavia? Italy? France? etc. Others?

    Thanks.

    • I’m talking about peoples who lives before meeting patriarchal cultures, Like the Cherokee and the Iroqois.

      The Scandinavians are a lot less repressed than us, but they’re still repressed compared to American Indian tribes and Pacific Islanders before European contact.

  17. I never heard men call there junk, torpedos. Pocket rocket yeah, but I don;t think it;s used as reference to hurting, but just a sense of power I guess. Too many guys are hung up on dominance though, and I don’t get the insecurity. That’s why sex, which I think guys or some learn from porn is not as great for women. And why porn is boring, it’s always the guy pounding the hell out of the woman. Why can’t men drop their manliness and just not have to be all about dominating. That’s what I notice about sex talk, is its’ always I banged the shit out of her, I fucked her so hard, etc. And you see that with porn, even when the woman is on top, its like the guy has to have control, blow jobs, the chick looks pretty submissive. I think sex would be better if men let women be more aggressive and both sexes looked at things differently and think outside of the box.

    But is women looking at their sex, as weaker, or softer, is that simply from being taught that or I can’t help thinking women don’t simply want to or don’t see their body parts in an aggressive manner. So sex certain ways, seems like a radical concept or foreign. It would be nice for things to be looked at more equal between the two, as relationships between men and women would only be better and intimate experiences only enhanced and better.

    • These are terms she heard in Africa, so no wonder you haven’t heard them all.

      And not all guys will see sex as aggressive, but the words, and the porn, encourage the view. Maybe even on a subconscious level.

      Since you don’t find aggressive sexuality everywhere, it can’t be innate for men. See Cherokee, Iroquois, before Euro contact, for example. The aggression toward women accompanies patriarchy.

    • ‘Why can’t men drop their manliness and just not have to be all about dominating.’

      I think most women want a sexually, “take charge” man in the bedroom. That does not mean jack hammering them into oblivion…But, it does mean dominance!

      Studies show this as well. Just as studies show that during the peak of a woman’s cycle, she prefers sex with a dominant, fit, muscular guy. There are even studies that show women experience orgasm more often from famous and wealthy men.

      • What Huggy says is often true.

        Patriarchy represses women’s natural sexuality, and then bombards us with eroticized images of male dominance — one of the few ways we eroticized men.

        Yet women in egalitarian, sex-positive cultures enjoy sex more. Easily and multiply orgasmic.

        For sure I’ll. Have to write about this sometime.

  18. A beautifully written piece. Also reflects a serious ongoing problem.

    Yes, it is very sad what has occurred to female sexuality in the US. Even today, many women think of their vulvas in a negative light.

    My friend has a 13 year old daughter. The young girl came home upset and crying in April because some of other girls made the “eewwwwhh” comment about her hairy vulva after gym class.

    I have a 17 year old son who will enter college next year. Since he was in middle school I have talked to him about sex, body parts,…….He went to a Montessori School until high school. I love the Montessori approach to learning, socialization,…..

    But, there has been this 1000s of years history of sexual repression of women. It has become so internalized that women themselves are some of the harshest critics of other women.

    Nothing reflects sexual dysfunction than grown women who wish to walk around with bare vulvas. Yes, some women consider such as empowering…..But, clearly this silliness has its origins in pornography. Here in America, it has become so extreme: no body hair anywhere for many.

    Women must step up and stop embracing these dysfunctional tendencies. YOU CAN SAY NO! Until women draw a line in the sand, we men will continue our same behaviors(s) towards women.

    • Thanks for your understanding and support,

    • That is a terrible thing to happen to a young girl. Those other girls should be ashamed of making fun of another’s body. It’s unnecessary, cruel, and uncalled for.

      To give you another spin on the “bare vulva” opinion, I like to keep mine shaved, but not because of porn. I simply find it’s easier to keep that area clean during ones moonblood if there’s little to no hair, and also makes it easier to see without a handmirror. My male lover also shaves his parts since he likes the look, so we kinda match. 🙂

      Of course, if other women want to keep their hair, that’s their choice and is just as valid.

  19. Interesting. When I was growing up with my grandmothers, they didn’t really have a name for female genitals in particular. I was just taught that the area between your legs was “your special place”, and that this was true for girls and boys alike. They also taught me that it was fine for me to touch there when I was alone or in bed, but I shouldn’t let anyone else till I was grown up and loved that person.

    It saddens me to know that so many other girls, and some boys, have been told their most sacred body parts are dirty or bad. This speaks to the dysfunction of our society…

    • Lucky you! I’ve often wondered what it would be like to grow up in a sex-positive world, and it sounds like your experience was more so than most. Yes, this is sad.

      • Yes, it wasn’t till about second grade that I’d begun to realize that other kids felt very differently about their bodies than I did. It was confusing, to say the least. I recall a conversation that ended in me asking a playmate how her “down there” (her words) could possibly be dirty…I’d thought maybe she had been playing outside naked or something. I was shocked when she said “it is always dirty, even after my bath”.

        It was a very upsetting revelation, and I asked my grandmothers about it that night. Luckily, they told me that it wasn’t true, it’s just that some people have problems accepting their “special places” *as* special. It was such a relief to know I wasn’t unclean just because! I sometimes wonder if their beliefs on bodies was unique to my family, or if it was due to their European origins? I’ve heard that some countries in Europe have much better views on sexuality and genitals than us Americans…

      • For sure some Europeans are more positive. Where are they from?

      • Germany, the Black Forest area. My great grandmother and great grandfather were born in 1904 and 1902 respectively. They came over in the 1920s, and though I never knew my great grandfather or grandfather, I was basically raised by their wives.

      • Yeah, the Germans seem to be way less repressed sexually. At least my students from Germany are surprised at the level of sexual repression here.

      • Not just sexually, either. Even just in regards to not feeling ashamed of ones body in general.

        For example, my great aunt had a sauna/pool area at her house, and my grandmothers and I would use it in the summer when we went to NJ to visit her. I recall some other relatives being there, male and female, my age as well as much older…Everybody just wore towels or bathing suit bottoms, nobody wore anything over their chest. And it wasn’t sexual at all, it was just family relaxing together. After we got done swimming/relaxing, any boys or girls under the age of 8 or so would use the shower house together to rinse off, and that was not “weird” either. Again, I didn’t learn till later that some families don’t even wash their toddlers together if they are different sexes…I don’t know, it seems like the more you try to go out of your way to avoid even casually thinking about the human body or sexuality, the more you give it an absurd amount of taboo power.

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