Don’t Bully: The Kind Campaign

Lauren Paul and Molly Thompson

Lauren Paul and Molly Thompson

My junior year in high school, there was one girl who didn’t want to be my friend. She turned my whole group against me. We were also all on the dance team, so on water breaks, I sometimes had fake phone conversations so they thought I had friends.

That’s how Molly Thompson endured high school.

Lauren Paul was tortured every single day of high school by a group of girls who were angry because a boy liked her instead of one of them.

Lauren and Molly met while studying at Pepperdine University. After sharing their stories, they founded The Kind Campaign:

A global movement, documentary, and school program rooted in the simple, yet life-altering, notion that KINDness is the change agent required to heal the pejorative effects of “girl-against-girl” antagonism.

So what can girls who experience bullying do? Paul and Thompson have some tips (via IBTimes):

The Kind Campaign

The Kind Campaign

It Gets Better

When girls and boys are going through bullying, it feels like they’re never going to get past the school hallways … but high school is such a short chapter of life. There are so many more experiences to be had. Having that perspective can help them move past the hallways and see that there are so much more amazing things ahead of them.

Ask For Help

If anyone is ever going through something like that, it is so important to reach out to your parents or another adult and get help.

Try Talking To The Bully

Try to have a conversation with the person they’re having a conflict with. Sometimes, she might not know she is having such a profound effect on another person.

Source: International Business Times

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on October 22, 2014, in feminism, psychology, relationships, women and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. I don’t recall ever being bullied in middle school, I had an accent but no one said anything or I luckily never paid attention. Thankfully once I got to high school I knew better and never took people seriously when they did make fun of my accent although they were or my own race. Being able to ignore people was because my mother always told me that people will talk even if you do good things. For those who get affected this is a great thing, I saw problems in which people got bullied and didn’t know what to do. People who have gone thru this as i see it are the ones that should help those in need because they understand. For a bullied person, its important to know that it will get better and that there is help. Help to make it better and to talk, because of the lac of programs like this and the accessibility there have been fatalities but luckily education regarding bulling is now more available.

  2. Marilyn Jauregui

    When it comes to bullying it is important to speak out if you’re the one being bullied or if you’re seeing someone getting bullied. There is so much bullying that goes on now-a-day’s, especially because social media is so popular among teens and rumors can be easily be started. I think this is a great campaign for young girls who don’t know how to seek for help. I think its also important for the admin at the school to feel like students can speak up. There was a program at my high school that was called Challenge Day where students would talk about their own battles outside and inside of school to teachers and parents as well as students. Its important for schools to have activities like these to show kids they care and can speak up when they’re going through issues like these.

  3. I remember being bullied in middle school by girls that were my so called “friends”. Since I was always the smallest of the group they would boss me around and say terrible things to me. I always put up with it because they weren’t always bullying mean, their were days when they were completely nice to me and made me feel good about myself. I felt like I had good friends and that perhaps I was doing something wrong to make them lash out on me they way they did. This is why I never told anyone about it or did anything about it, and I probably felt like I would lose them as friends if I did. It wasn’t until one day that I felt they took it too far that I decided to stand up for myself and walk away. We were out in the playground and I accidentally stepped on a chocolate milk carton and splashed milk all over one of their shoes. She looked at me and told me to clean it by licking it off. I was so shocked and felt so insulted that I simply said no and walked away. The next day she apologized to me and we continued being “friends”. Being bullied feels terrible and messes with our self-esteem. I completely agree with these girls, being kind to someone is definitely the key. I do recall that in high school I made it my goal to be nice and kind to everybody. I said hello to everyone no matter what “social group” they were a part of. And I was happy to know that all over my yearbook I found notes saying that my “hello’s” comforting and made them smile everyday. So yes, we should all try to a little more kind to each other, it can be as simple as just smiling and saying hello to someone you walk by.

  4. Bullying seem to be a big problem many students are facing in their daily life although, not many of them tend to speak up about it. Cyberbullly is another form of bullying via the social media and had led to many suicide attempts and incidents. Many people whose experience bullying many feel like it’s their fault, that they did something wrong to cause them to seem uncool or for the others to hate them. For example, my little cousin used to experienced bullying by other girls in her kindergarten class because she would always bring her favorite panda bear around with her everywhere. She would always come home crying to her mother about it and wouldn’t want to go to school the next day. She eventually no longer carry her favorite panda bear around with her because of this problem. I found this to be very unfair for my baby cousin because she’s just a little girl still. If she want to bring around something she adored so much then just let her be. I don’t see no reason why she’s getting bully over it. But research had shown that the bulliers are often jealous or have low self esteem which result in them taking it onto someone’s else so I guess it kind of make sense. However, I feel that bullying shouldn’t be exist if people know how to get the help they need and don’t take their anger out on another person by making their life a living hell. That is unfair and sometimes could cost the other person their life.

  5. It’s the worst situation for a teen being bullied in the high school since teen doesn’t have a chance to get rid of this situation. Sadly, I think there is no good solution so far. Adults hardly can help for their kids since they can’t control teen’s life in the school. In addition, the situation may be worse than before, if the adults conflict with the bully. Talking to the bully also may not help a lot, because the bully want to make the teen suffering in order to demonstrate their power and privilege. They know the consequence of bullying. Therefore, there is no efficient way to solve this issue so far. I hope there will be some campaigns to discourage the bully

  6. I was bullied before and I can still remember what the bullies did to me. From my experience, bullies know exactly what they are doing and they know they are making someone feel bad. Therefore I think talking to them doesn’t help the situation at all. It even makes them feel better because they enjoy seeing others beg them for mercy. Talking to parents or adults is not a bad idea though. Even they may not be able to stop the bullies, they can give some good advice like how to think positively and the right way to deal with the people. It is very important because teenagers brains are still developing, they are kinda vulnerable. For me, I ended up with depression as I had no one to talk to. But one effective way to get over it, I believe is to change the environment. Though some people would argue escape from reality is useless, have a fresh start, meet with new people who don’t know your past and start things all over again may not be a bad solution.

  7. I learned early on in life that if someone tried to bully me, the best solution was to attack them fast and hard. It also sent out a message to other people that I did not tolerate bullying.

    • That seems to be common among boys. And a dilemma for anti-violence types. Because it seems to be effective.

      When I was in fourth grade I moved to a new school and didn’t fit in fashion-wise, and was teased by the most popular girl. I tried to get others to join me against her, But hey, I was the new girl. So I told her what I thought of her. Seemed to scare her enough that she wanted me to be her best friend for the rest of the year. But after that I always stood up for kids who were bullied. Not in the moment, But afterwards I would talk to bullies about why they were doing what they were doing. They never seemed to know. Not being able to figure out why they were doing it, they stopped. (Bullying is based in insecurity — feeling that people don’t esteem you as highly as they should — and who wants to admit to themselves the real reason, if they even manage to have any awareness of it?)

      In middle school some big girl came up to me and told me she was going to beat me up. My life is so nonviolent that I couldn’t even imagine it. I kind of rolled my eyes like, “Are you nuts?” She never bothered me again.

      Also in middle school there was a boy on the bus who harassed me. I indicated that I couldn’t care less and he got bored after a while.

      So I have used a variety of techniques.

      • Life is just an extension of the school playground with people trying to oppress or subdue other people, or animals for that matter.

        I have found it quite amusing at times in my adult life, when I have come across people who actually believed they could bully me. I think some people misinterpret my nature of being “nice” as being “soft”. Whatever it is, they are foolish.

      • Yeah. Been there done that.

  8. wish them the best success in their campaign! Bullying can threaten students’ physical and emotional safety at school and can negatively impact their ability to learn. The best way to address bullying is to stop it before it starts. There are a number of things school staff can do to make schools safer and prevent bullying.

  9. Some days it seems scarier to be a kid than it does a grownup. I’m glad that what we used to refer to as “just bullying” when I was younger is now seen for the serious act that it is. Reaching out for help and not being ashamed to or even when you are scared takes bravery. I hope outreach such as this film and your post here and other articles help victims to realize it’s okay to speak out, they’re not ratting on anyone or being a bad sport, etc.

  10. Bullying can have tremendous effect on adolescence minds…but as it has been said, talking can sometimes solve the problem.

  11. I have to disagree with the suggestion of talking to the bully. If you go that route you are only making yourself more vulnerable to them by admitting that they hurt you. They are only going to take that information and double down on you.

    It is so tough / impossible to remove yourself from a bad situation if you are a kid / teen. You are all in school together so you are basically trapped. You don’t have the options that adults do of switching jobs or moving – extreme options, yes, but they ARE options for adults in a way that they really aren’t for kids.

    I just want to underscore that it DOES get better. High school will end, and then in all likelihood you will NEVER have to see those people again. Hang in there.

    • Yeah, maybe it depends on the situation. Some people may not get that they’re being bullies, and if it’s milder maybe it would make sense. But as you say, maybe not.

      And more importantly, it’s about the bully. They reveal themselves through their behavior. It’s not about the person whose being bullied. I think that’s really important for people who are being harassed to get.

  12. I wish them lots of luck with their kind campaign. I was bullied relentlessly in high-school, though by boys not girls, I don’t think I really ever got over it.

    • I’m so sorry. That happens to too many of us. That’s why this campaign is so important.

      If it’s any consolation, the bullies don’t feel that great about themselves either. Some are jealous. Some are projecting their own shame onto others. Some feel a need to put other people down in hopes of building themselves up. Some of these folks just don’t think that they are adequately worshiped, and try to create a false sense of power and status by putting others down.

      It’s all pretty pathetic.

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