Sexy Women Only Want Attention of Sexy Men

Blake Lively walking down the street. (She's an actress, she probably wants everyone to notice her.)

Blake Lively walking down the street. (She’s an actress, she probably wants everyone to notice her.)

Sexy women don’t want attention from me. They only care about attractive men.

Guys sometimes complain about that on my blog.

To the extent that this may be true, the sexy woman and the unsexy man are actually just two sides of the same coin.

She may only care about sexy men.

But he probably only cares about sexy women.

Both seem to believe that conventional beauty makes for a person better, whose opinion actually matters. In this way (again, where the behavior is true):

  • If an attractive man gives a sexy lady an approving glance, that boosts her ego and she feels validated as a woman, because his opinion matters. But an unattractive guy? That’s just annoying.
  • If a man gets a positive reaction from a sexy lady, that boosts his ego and he feels validated as a man. Because her opinion matters. Other women? What other women? I don’t even notice them.

Funny how people get angry when others do what they do, themselves.

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on March 23, 2015, in men, psychology, women and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 29 Comments.

  1. A great post and so true. I will have to share this with my 19 year old daughter. Thank you. 🙂

  2. You always have interesting post – I agree with your concept – just like me playing the piano…Have you ever thought to have a show on Radio Internet????

  3. It’s weird and coicidences that you just posted this like right when I made a post on your “power of men blog”. The one where you wrote about this lack of power women have, has a power over men and men complain about. You know sexual power. I just wrote in that one about how it would be good if men and women could feel and experience each other’s side and view point to know and feel what its actually like and the pro and cons men and women face.

    Anyway, I don’t know. about this “Because her opinion matters. Other women? What other women? I don’t even notice them.”

    While I like and prefer the looks and attention from women I find sexy and pretty. It can be a turn on and flattering and make me feel good. Attention from average looking women I notice too and it can be flattering too and feel good, though its more flattering of course from hot women. I think more men can be turned on or flattering by average, less sexy or not sexy women than woman toward average men. True, I probably won’t get flatted by the attention of a fat woman and with that, I don’t mean a woman who is thick or chubby or some extra weight but fat. There are thick, heavier women I can find attractive. An ugly woman probably wouldn’t do it either.

    Though like I said she doesn’t have to be “pretty”,hot or sexy to get guys flattered or me either and we can and do notice average women too. Just will notice the prettier one’s more of course, but average one’s don’t go unnoticed. But women notice the good looking guys or betterlooking guys more so than average ones too. So it goes both ways, whereas, I don’t know if women take it was a compliment from average men as much.

    • Sorry it took so long to approve this. It got lost, somehow. A lot of average looking women notice that they don’t get noticed. So like you say, it works both ways.

  4. Great post! Never thought about it that way!

  5. And then there’s the issue of what people think is sexy. Those are ridiculous shoes. Since I find intelligence sexy, and since I find it hard to believe that it’d be smart to wear such ankle-breaking apparel, I don’t find the actress’s photo to be sexy at all.

    • Yes, thanks for bringing that up.

      And I have written about that: Anything good about being a sex object? https://broadblogs.com/2014/05/26/anything-good-about-being-a-sex-object-2/

      I make a distinction between being sexy and being a sex object, And then expand the notion of what sexy can mean. I talk about how for me that includes intelligence. (Most importantly emotional intelligence.) And I don’t think the picture I used on that post is even sexy – although she is clearly objectified. And I’m sure that many people would find that image sexy, too.

  6. There seems to be a ‘stage’ when one is young, when this ‘sexiness’ matters the most, but as one gets older, I’m not sure whether it continues to matter, or if ‘sexiness’ acquires another dimension. I guess the social media here is to be held responsible for all this “physical beauty” cult worship, instead of remembering the old quote “beauty is only skin deep” by Thomas Overbury. If one were blind, I guess there would be no issue.

  7. cultural conditioning runs both ways- impacting both men and women.

  8. Ah yes and then there’s the connotations of the word “sexy.” I think intelligence is sexy 🙂

  9. Can’t agree more with your points. You nailed it in the last line. 😀 Great post…

  10. It’s funny, I do it haha. When I dress up cute I often expect cute or good looking guys to check me out. But when a no-good looking guy look at me flirty, I feel like “Ho noo”. But sometime the look is not important, the heart and personality matter the most.

  11. Marissa Martinez

    I think that is one hundred percent true for both genders. Women that want attention, but to me it does not matter who it is from. They put the make up on and the sexy dress to see the men ( attractive or not) notice them. As for the men it the same thing. They fix their hair, put some nice clothes on, and if they want some cologne. That the thing about men. All they want to see the pretty, sexy women to look at them. As for the women that notice them, and are not attractive are wall flowers to them.

  12. I must agree with you on this one!

    I know so many guys who feel they should get attention from the sexy hot women. Then get annoyed when she ignores them. Well, guess what: she has options. Lots of them.

    Same goes for attractive men. They can ignore most women and only go after the hot ones too. They have options too. Lots of them. Some even have harems.

    What I find rather baffling is how sexy men and sexy women rarely marry one another. Hmmmm. I wonder why?

    I avoid sexy hot women like the plague. I much prefer an average woman with above average intelligence, who is kind, and has a good solid values AND loves to f**k.

  13. Oh, definitely.
    You never see Nice Guys TM hovering around the plain girls, always following the hot girls around like a swarm of bees. Seems like only hotness can bring out “niceness” in men. Makes you go hmm…
    I’ve yet to see the same Jekyll & Hyde personality from women tbh.

  14. Yes, I think that this is totally true and I find this article interesting because many hot girls or sexy girls don’t care about the guys opinions whose looking is not cool. I also feel like girls or guys who think themselves cool, hot, or sexy only want attentions from hot people even though they don’t look hot or sexy enough.
    I think that I am the one too because when I go out with my boyfriend or when I went on date with a guy who I thought attractive, I tried to make up every time, to dress up as much as I could, and prepared well, but if they are not attractive or even childhood friends, I don’t care about their attentions. Even though they say that I am ugly or I seem like a boy, I DO NOT care at all.
    This situation happens a lot in our daily life and even among my friends, but I had not noticed or cared about it too much since I read this article. Thank you for giving me the interesting article!!;)

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