When We Don’t Teach Boys About Sex

A shaming sexual culture

A shaming sexual culture

By Jayson Gaddis @ The Good Men Project

To not teach children about the sacredness of their bodies and their sexuality is one of the CORE abandonments of our time. This post is about the mess we are in around male sexuality. I am here to name it and simply put it in the open for all of us to see.

I received ZERO training around sex or my body until age 34. None. Fortunately for me, I now have excellent mentors and friends who are helping me grow up my sexuality and dive into its headwaters with open arms. But it was almost too late. Read the rest of this entry

Rape: Not as bad as seeming prejudiced

Children raped, trafficked

Children raped, trafficked

Around 1,400 children were beaten, raped, tortured and trafficked for over a decade in the lower-class town of Rotherham, in north England.

As authorities stood by. Or fined parents of the missing children for wasting their time.

Some of the girls were splattered with gasoline and told they’d be set afire if they reported the abuse. Some were forced to watch other kids being raped. Others were told that their parents or siblings would be killed or gang raped if they went to authorities, according to the New York Times.  Read the rest of this entry

What If Men Menstruated?

A visit from Aunt Flo

A visit from Aunt Flo

Society has taught us that a girl on her period is weak, bitchy and occasionally psychotic… That time of the month is basically a pissed-off uterus.

Stacey, a student of mine, made that observation. She continued to talk about her shame-filled sister:  Read the rest of this entry

Nude Men Seem Less Intelligent

Justin Timberlake, showing some skin

Justin Timberlake, showing some skin

The more skin women reveal, the less men see them as intelligent or empowered.

Instead, nudity promotes the notion that women are sensitive, “feeling” creatures.

Turns out the perception runs both ways with women seeing men as less intelligent and less competent when they show skin, too. In fact, simply “taking off a sweater — or otherwise revealing flesh — can significantly change the way a mind is perceived” say researchers.

And as psychologist, Kurt Gray of the University of Maryland observed: Read the rest of this entry

Before Killing, Pistorius Resembled Abuser

Reeva Steenkamp, Oscar Pistorius

Reeva Steenkamp, Oscar Pistorius

South Africa’s Olympian sprinter, Oscar Pistorius, stands accused of murdering his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp. She had locked herself in the bathroom of their apartment when he shot her. He claims he’d mistaken her for an intruder. A verdict is due next week.

I can’t say for sure that he’s a murderer, but abusive men are more likely than others to kill their mates. And he definitely sounds like an abuser, as suggested by text messages sent in the weeks before the killing.

The warning signs could caution others in similar circumstances. Read the rest of this entry

Do better looking people have better personalities?

Beauty: Just skin deep

Beauty: Just skin deep

By Lisa Wade, PhD @ Sociological Images

Do better looking people have better personalities?

People seem to think so.

At one time OkCupid gave users the opportunity to rate each other twice: once for personality and once for looks.  The two were strikingly correlated. Read the rest of this entry

Men: More Likely to Separate Love & Sex?

sex v love

sex v love

Men are more likely than women to separate love and sex, right?

Men are more interested in no-strings sex, and they are less likely to be distressed the next day.

A while back a New York Times piece advocating open relationships discussed how it’s typically easier for gay men, compared with straight or lesbian couples, to open their relationships — for that reason.

But is it true?  Read the rest of this entry

Yes Means Yes: There Oughta be a Law

Yes Means Yes

Yes Means Yes

Should “no means no” be upgraded to “yes means yes”?

The California Legislature says state-funded colleges should do just that when determining whether a complaint constitutes rape. By a 52-16 vote in the State Assembly and unanimously in the Senate.

Because:

  • Rape is rampant on college campuses, where 1/5 of women are assaulted
  • Rape charges on campus almost always involve alcohol
  • When people are drunk, they often can’t say anything

Read the rest of this entry

Men Have Torpedos; Women Have “No-No’s”

A Rhetorische Torpedo

A Rhetorische Torpedo

By Raissa Mbassa

Have you ever thought about slang for our privates?

Some of my guy friends call theirs a “pocket rocket” or a “torpedo.”

Let’s see, a rocket is an incendiary weapon, while a torpedo is a tube-shaped bomb that’s fired underwater. Both cause tremendous destruction to whatever they’re aimed at.

It’s all painted in glorification. Victory. A magic stick of supernatural powers. A man’s best friend.  Read the rest of this entry

Guys Just Want One Thing

Guys want just one thing?Guys just want one thing.

The belief is so widespread that we needn’t say what the one thing is.

Yet the truism isn’t true.

You may have heard that since there are more women than men on college campuses these days, women are pressured to do sex the way men like it: No strings attached.  Read the rest of this entry

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