Her Defense: I Had No Desire
Why are girls still shamed for being sexually assaulted?
And why is lacking sexual desire still seen as good… a good girl?
In a double standard that does not hold for men?
Many people tell me that there is no longer a sexual double standard, as with a conversation I had not long ago. Yet consider the defense offered by young women who were raped in the following high-profile rape cases, each occurring in the progressive San Francisco Bay Area.
Up the road from me at Stanford University Brock Turner raped a young woman. His victim chose anonymity, knowing that she might be attacked. And her statement to the judge is filled with information supporting her innocence:
She hadn’t wanted to go to the party in the first place — she had just wanted to spend more time with her sister who was visiting from out of town. And she was dressed like a librarian. She had no desire, so she was a good girl.
Meanwhile, Brock Turner declared war on promiscuity. And who has heard of a promiscuous man?
You just know that he would’ve bragged to everyone about getting sex if he hadn’t been caught raping.
Some rapists are celebrated — even when everyone knows they committed assault — while their victims are shamed.
Audrie Pott, age 15, also lived just a few miles away from me. One evening she drank too much at a party and passed out. She woke up to find that her shorts had been pulled off and that nasty comments were scrawled all over her body in magic marker. Along with arrows pointing to her genitals. One scribble boasted, “(Blank) was here.”
Boys at her San Francisco Bay Area high school shared pictures of the assault with friends — and most of the football team. Rumors flew and Facebook messages on her wall continued the attack:
- shit went down ahah jk i bet u already got enough ppl talking about it so ill keep it to myself haha. . . .
- honestly like really no joke everyone knows. . . .
- u were one horny mofo.
Her friends abandoned her, shamed her, and blamed her.
Eight days after the assault Audrie hung herself.
Before killing herself Audrie had declared,
I have a reputation for a night I don’t even remember.
Is she saying that she shouldn’t be blamed for sexual activity when she didn’t even have any desire for it? After all, she can’t even remember it. As if sexual desire in girls is so horrible — but laudable for guys.
Unfortunately, I could add several more examples.
Girls are still punished, whether they are sexual or sexually assaulted.
Meanwhile, the guys are out bragging about “conquering women” whether through sex or sexual assault.
Posted on July 23, 2018, in rape and sexual assault, sexism and tagged Audrie Pott, Blaming the victim, Brock Turner, Double standards, good girls and bad girls, sexism, sexual assault. Bookmark the permalink. 98 Comments.