Confidence: A People Magnet
Confidence is a people magnet. It’s also good at drawing emotionally healthier people to you.
And, it’s healthy to have confidence even when you are alone.
But how do you get it?
Fake it till you make it
Fake it till you make it, they say. It actually seems to work.
We can actually change our body chemistry, along with other people’s perceptions of us, just by how we stand, says Amy Cuddy, a Harvard social psychologist. Maybe you’ve seen her Ted Talk.
When we feel confident we make ourselves big, we stretch out, we take up space. But when we feel powerless we do the opposite. We close up, wrap ourselves up, and make ourselves small.
And it works the other way too. If you are all stretched out when you wake up in bed, you will feel more confident than if you wake up in a fetal position. But if you stretch out to make yourself bigger, you’ll feel more confident throughout the day.
Who knows why? Maybe cognitive dissonance: When behavior and attitude don’t match, one of the two will change. Take on a strong pose and the attitude comes around to match.
Some people think the technique in authentic. But I don’t know.
Maybe the “fake us” is the part that is insecure?
Get in touch with the core you
Relatedly, try to get in touch with the core you, which is wonderful and worthy.
There’s a Buddhist notion that our core self is exactly that: both wonderful and worthy. Many who practice meditation get in touch with that joyful, peaceful, at-ease self.
But sometimes our core gets scratched up by hurt people who hurt people. Parents, or the neighborhood kids, who didn’t feel good about themselves told you that you were worthless. It’s a tactic the insecure often use to feel like they are raising themselves up by putting you down.
But you believed them. Even though it wasn’t really about you. It was about them.
Meanwhile, marketers have discovered that one of the most effective ways to sell product is to make us feel bad about ourselves — maybe by setting impossible standards — and then telling us that we can buy the cure.
Again, it’s not you. It’s the marketers.
And then, “keeping up with the Jones’s” — keeps us on the buy-stuff treadmill forever.
Achieve small successes
Also, moving out of our comfort zone and gaining small successes — that grow over time — can build confidence.
And finally, develop catitude!
Cats like being cats. Whether you like them or not. Because they just know that they are the coolest.
In fact, they make any resting place look comfortable. Maybe that’s because they’re so comfortable with themselves.
Related Posts on BroadBlogs
- Believe You’re Beautiful – Others Will, Too
- Can You Fake Beauty – just with Body Language?
- Beauty Tricks To Remove Your Self-Esteem