This is an interesting read, and I agree that there is some social commentary in terms of why women are so fascinated and involved with the Twilight series, but it says a lot about the emotional maturity of the reader. I too was totally engrossed with this series when it first came out, and a lot of it had to do with the romance between Edward and Bella, their chemistry, and the fact that he seemed completely and undyingly devoted to her. Then I grew up a little, and stepped back and examined their romance. When you truly examine their relationship, it actually reads a lot more like complete emotional abuse where Edward is an obsessed and controlling partner. Almost all of the things he does that at first seem super romantic are actually borderline stalker behavior. He creeps into her house to watch her sleep, he monitors her every move, he is insanely jealous and overprotective, and he wants to control every aspect of her life including who she sees and where she goes. This is all done under the guise of the loving and devoted boyfriend. The story also has a lot of parallels to “Fifty Shades of Gray” in terms of having a male protagonist with extremely unhealthy emotionally obsessed behavior. I wouldn’t qualify the series as completely bad, but I think it demonstrates a lot of problems that are still inherent in our society in terms of how women think about themselves and how they want to be loved. We all want to be worshipped, but we need to learn that there is a difference between devotion and domination.

This is taken from the book “The evolution of desire” by David M. Buss

A different explanation has been offered for the preferences of women for men with resources, based on the so-called structural powerlessness of women. According to this view, because women are typically excluded from power and access to resources, which are largely controlled by men, women seek mates who have power, status, and earning capacity. Women try to marry upward in socioeconomic status to gain access to resources. Men do not value economic resources in a mate as much as women do because they already have control over these resources and because women have no resources anyway.
The society of Bakweri, from Cameroon in West Africa, casts doubt on this theory by llustrating what happens when women have real power. Bakweri women hold greater personal and economic power because they have more resources and are in scarcer supply than men. Women secure resources through their own labors on plantations, but also from casual sex, which is a lucrative source of income. There are roughly 236 men for every 100 women, an imbalance that results from the continual influx of men from other areas of the country to work on the plantations. Because of the extreme imbalance in numbers of the sexes, women have considerable latitude to exercise their choice in a mate. Women thus have more money than men and more potential mates to choose from. Yet Bakweri women persist in preferring to have a mate with resources. Wives often complain about receiving insufficient support from their husbands. Indeed, lack of sufficient economic provisioning
is the most frequently cited divorce complaint of women. Bakweri women change husbands if they find a man who can offer them more money and pay a larger bride price. When women are in a position to fulfill their evolved preference for a man with resources, they do so. Having the dominant control of economic resources does not circumvent this key mate preference.]

“Now mind you, women may want to take care of themselves and their men, but they also like a man who takes care of them and who makes them feel safe and secure.” That is very true at least for me. I think the important message from Twilight is that Why worry about whether you’re a nice person, or interesting to be with, or friendly, or just the kind of person that anyone might want to spend time with? Edward doesn’t care, he’ll love you just the way you are, no effort required. Real relationships require effort and compromise. Because Bella is an ordinary girl just like them, who this perfect, rich, unique physical specimen falls for despite having absolutely nothing in common with her. He is so protective of her and never wants her to get harmed. Every girl wants a man like that or someone who loves them, not looking at her as an object.

Different women want different things, so you can’t really define what women want categorically.

Personally, I can’t do the whole devotion thing. I would have to pretend, which just isn’t me. Which is why I prefer FWB arrangements.

Samual2112 may have a point. Stereotyping anyone (female or male) dehumanizes them and makes it difficult for her/him to be a real authentic human being with flaws, issues and baggage. Nobody likes it but so many do it. I personally have never fit into the boxes that men and women have tried to wedge me into.

I personally steer clear of the “dark and silent” types. I would be perfectly happy to date flawed guys who have issues/baggage and express their emotions in healthy ways. To me a healthy man is one who is always striving to learn from their mistakes and improve themselves.

The most important thing I get from looking at the of appeal of Twilight (and most romance novels) is that the woman is central and very important to the man in her life. In real life this RARE. Most men do not define themselves by the woman in their life. He derives his self identity, his self worth by his work, his accomplishments, the obstacles he has overcome, etc. He has a life separate from her. While this is not a bad thing necessarily, many men fail see the need to show a woman that she is important to him. They go too far and focus on their own wants, goals and gratification almost exclusively. That leaves women feeling marginalized, unimportant and unappreciated. I have felt that way in almost all my relationships. Many times it was all too clear that to men I was dating , my goals, my thoughts/feelings/opinions, my existence was considered less important this his and developing a relationship with me was a very low priority. Many times it’s why I walked away.

Meanwhile many women make the mistake of defining themselves and seeking validation through the man in her life. He IS the more important to her than anything else. Many women have sacrificed personal goals, careers, friends, and their self esteem to stay with a man she loves. Many woman stay in abusive relationships partly because they believe they will lose a part of their own identity as a woman if she leaves. This is very unhealthy.

Men and woman need to meet in the middle. More women need to create self identities and base self worth by her career, goals and accomplishments and have healthy, full lives separate from men. And men need to see just how important is for woman to know that she IS important to him and that her life does NOT take a backseat to his own.