Are Blondes as Picky as the Men Who Prefer Them?

Jayne MansfieldI’m still regarded a libidinous lad by a lot of (especially buxom blonde) ladies, so this muscular, boyishly handsome 5’8 black 58-year-old ALMOST ALWAYS ogles well-endowed women because I’m proud to be considered an aging lad!!!! How ’bout it, girls?

That’s one of the more colorful comments I’ve received (slightly edited to include all the vital stats he’s provided over time).

“Lusty” (part of his moniker) has voiced his buxom blonde penchant on numerous occasions, so I asked:

“Do you think Buxom Blondes are as picky as you?”

“Well, maybe,” he responded. “But as long as I can remember, I’ve been captivated by bosomy women — white, black, Latina, etc. — but buxom blondes are my faves.”

Little wonder, since they are regularly presented as the most prized by our society — though the preference has been moving toward “racially ambiguous” (meaning you can’t tell what race the woman is). Still, most starlets today embody Lusty’s preference.

Sooo many men desire buxom blondes and think they’re “the best.” But if BB’s are similarly restricted in their preferences (and why not, when they’ve got so much to choose from) then few men would seem to stand a chance. It just doesn’t seem to occur to a lot of men that snobbery can run both ways, leaving them out of the running, too.

I suspect that narrow notions of beauty benefit few (mostly corporations that sell products by making people feel bad about themselves).

But when only some are esteemed, everyone else ends up feeling deprived and frustrated. Women, because they don’t fit the narrow notions, and men, because they can’t have the limited number of women who do.

Meanwhile fabulous people, who may be a much better match, and who could please us more, end up out in the cold.

And that leaves too many lonely and lacking deep satisfaction.

Instead of running about like lemmings, led around by society’s dictates, why not find beauty in the varieties of women and men around us? And in the men and women we are actually with?

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on March 21, 2012, in body image, gender, men, psychology, sexism, women and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 22 Comments.

  1. Someone said I will never get the girl. I have to get the girl of my dreams or die trying. Has this made me picky? sure.
    Why should I stop trying? Can I not date a BB because im a sub-human? Why not? I’m skinny, but I’m not ugly! I have light skin and symmetrical teeth. If I will never get the girl and all the things said about them is true, am I an inferior human? I don’t have much. I didn’t receive an education nor do I make lots of money, does that mean that I will only have to pay a fake blonde by the hour? That makes me sad.

    • Sounds like a double standard. You insist on getting some perfect girl of your dreams and yet you feeling sad that the perfect girl of your dreams has the exact same attitude as you. She wants the boy of her dreams. In any case it’s just looking at a superficial shell.

      Some of the happiest couples I know are not conventionally attractive. They appreciate what is deeper.

  2. handsomerandyblackladdiebrad

    Thanks!!!I just wanted to prove that at ANY age,a man can-SHOULD-be an unabashedly
    randy lad,eyeing bosomy lasses,without being a sexist,misogyniistic scumbag!!!

    • Ok, but the average cup size without obesity and implants in America is a B cup. The average cup size in East Asian countries is an A cup. And so a lot of women end up feeling bad about themselves. Or they get implants, which must be replaced every 10 years. All surgery is potentially dangerous. And this surgery cuts feeling to the breast in about one third of the patients, leaving them less sexually responsive. Or, they’re told that implants are inferior to naturally big breasts. So comments like yours can end up being oppressive even if you don’t intend them to be.

  3. handsomerandyblackladdiebrad1953

    I’ve kept those boyish good looks (two months before my 63rd birthday),so OF COURSE I still desire buxom blondes between 22 and 40!!!!!

  4. I’ve been a blonde, but now I’m a redhead. I wouldn’t say blondes attract more men, just that redheads attract different men. I think redhead enthusiasts seem to be more dazzled by hair color for hair color’s sake than blonde enthusiasts.

  5. goodolblackcanadianboybrad1953

    Most men can’t be picky,either.

  6. Plain women can’t be picky. Rightttt!

  7. Marcus Coleman

    Blondes get a bunch of credit as if a woman with blonde hair is on another level or somethong. Does the color of your hair really make you more oicky? If so that’s CRAY!

  8. From my personal experience I wouldn’t say that blondes themselves are more attractive then any other based on that fact alone. It is the association that has been placed on them that men are chasing after. We are told that “blondes have more fun” and excuse the stereotype, but blondes arent too bright and that much easier to sleep with. Men are raised with the idea that we need as many conquests as possible, and brunettes are more intelligent so they will take much more effort to seduce. Which to be honest, is one the dumbest things i have heard to date.

  9. Megan Aldridge

    I think that this blog makes a great point when it states “[i]t just doesn’t seem to occur to a lot of men that snobbery can run both ways, leaving them out of the running, too.” I can entirely see how men can unintentionally raise the expectations for themselves while they raise them for women. And I cannot wrap my mind around the idea of mean actually preferring “racially ambiguous” women to natural women. Women are beginning to lose uniqueness and it’s awful to see. I believe that it is only fair to put the same expectations on men if they are going to put them on women.

  10. Wu Cheuk Yin, Cherry

    Since I am an international student, I don’t really know how picky the blondes are. Nevertheless, there are many valuable, smart, and interesting black men who don’t fit in the mold that has been created by our society. The color of a person’s skin shouldn’t’t matter, nor should their ethnicity, sex, age, or weight. I think that good character of human being is always the decision for people to prefer.

    • re: “a person’s skin shouldn’t’t matter, nor should their ethnicity, sex, age, or weight”

      That’s what we’re aiming for, fighting for.

      Unfortunately we still live in a world of racism, colorism, agism, homophobia and “lookism.” But bringing this to people’s attention and allowing them to think about and critique it allows people to rethink what they’re unconsciously fed. Only then can they change their ways of seeing.

  11. Yeah i believe blondes are very picky and you would also have to be a very picky person to actually choose to be with someone that is blonde. not that there is anything wrong with being blonde but from what i’ve noticed they go for a certain type. growing up, i’ve never seen a blonde with a black guy. its very rare to me, and i’ve also never seen a blonde with any other man besides a european man . im not sure of what type of man they would prefer but cant tell you that they men aren’t so picky in who they are choosing .

    • Thanks Allen. I do know of blondes who love, and are partners with, Black men. But part of what troubled me is the “colorism” (preferring light over dark) expressed by Lusty. And Lusty is dark-colored, after all! So why that preference? Shouldn’t we appreciate a variety of colors and types?

    • I’m a natural blonde, 115lb petite and pretty, I chose my amazing Chinese husband over all other men. I never slept around either so blondes aren’t ‘easy’. Nor am I stupid I have a university degree in one of the most difficult programs. Blondes are not all the same.. And yes I think we are picky just like anyone with self worth should be. Race has nothing to do with it.

      • I’m a skinny light skinned person, I’m 6’1″ and I don’t have any luck with blondes. I made out with a blonde girl in high school, but she ended giving a friend oral and cannot stop wondering about the intention. Just about every girl finds out that I’m Mexican and they stop liking me. Do I need to get big muscles and a million dollars? I’m dying to find out why I am not allowed to date blondes. Why do I make them run away? I don’t think I have behaved inappropriately or overstepped my boundaries. Even if they laugh at my jokes I’m turned down harshly Everytime.

      • Maybe you should let go of your colorism. You have a preference for lighter skinned women and then are upset when they don’t have a preference for a darker skinned man? Why do you ask other people to do what you aren’t willing to do yourself? If everyone got rid of racism/colorism we would if everyone got rid of racism/colorism we would all be a lot happier.

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