Women Who Are Sexist Against Women 

Women and men, alike, shouted “Lock her up!” and “Trump that bitch!” at Trump’s GOP Convention last summer.

Some women wore shirts bellowing, “Trump can grab my pussy!”

People often confuse patriarchy with men. But they aren’t the same thing.

Plenty of men fight against patriarchy/sexism. And plenty of women are sexist.

Why are women sometimes sexist? 

Accepting the patriarchal bargain

Some women accept the patriarchal bargain: If I promote patriarchy I get a reward.

Maybe a husband approves of a wife who accepts patriarchy.

Or maybe there’s money and status to be gained.

Camille Paglia, Christina Hoff Sommers and Mona Charen are a few women who have gained both money and fame by complaining about feminism. But also misrepresenting it as man-hating.

Kellyanne Conway gains fame, money and power by standing with men who try to eliminate insurance coverage for maternity care and mammograms.

The “Aunts” of The Handmaid’s Tale gained at least some semblance of power in a world devoid of female empowerment by brainwashing handmaids into believing they are worthless. Wives of Commanders, on the other hand, got fame and fortune for berating feminism before the revolution disempowered them, too.

It’s easier when you’re used to being secondary 

Disempowerment of women by women comes more easily when you are used to being secondary.

When you live in a world that shames women for having sex but celebrates men, and that shames women for being sexually assaulted, you get used to being humiliated and blamed.

Not to mention a world that body-shames women, leaving 80% of young women with poor body image.

Or learning a language that makes women secondary. It’s usually males first: men and women, boys and girls, brothers and sisters… Women are part of man and mankind…

I could go on…

Growing up in a world that is marked by patriarchy makes it seem natural and normal.

Yet it’s deeply harming.

Related Posts

About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.

Posted on May 10, 2017, in psychology, sexism and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 30 Comments.

      • “Plus, said he’d help workers but so far has sided w/ elite.”

        How? His cabinet is no less elitist than President Obama..I would argue it is less. It is not full of Ivy League people and Harvard cronies.

        As for the 3/4 comment…I am not surprised you did not say it was 90%!!!

        The Left is really overplaying its hand. I am loving it. Now we are seeing polls showing that many voters who did not vote for President Trump would do so now because they are totally turned off the grossly unfair treatment of President Trump by the bullshit fake media and the Democrats.

        We have Democrats who are refusing to allow ICE to deport murderers and rapists all to take a stab at the President. I wonder just how that is going to fly over in heartland of America. I cannot wait for 2018!

        God Bless America!!!!

      • Friday’s post is a response to your comment. Check it out.

        The only polling I have seen that sounds like what you’re talking about is Trump voters saying that they would vote for Trump again but Hillary voters saying that they would not vote for her again. But that doesn’t mean that Hillary voters would vote for Trump. It means they would vote for someone else like Bernie. When I heard the question asked I thought, “if I had it to do over again I would have supported Bernie in the primaries, not Hillary.”

        It’s sort of like all the people in Utah who said they would never vote for Trump, but did. If it were Trump versus Hillary I’ll bet Hillary would win given what people are witnessing, leaving Trump at historically low approval ratings for this early in office — 36-39% approval.

        Otherwise I suppose you are talking about sanctuary cities? People misunderstand that. They think that we are trying to shield people from being deported. The point of sanctuary cities is to make sure that people will report crimes without fearing being deported. Because if people fear reporting crimes the crime rate goes up, and that hurts everyone. So you have your police force. And then you have immigration officers.

    • Perhaps they are not wearing blinders?

      Maybe, as women, they know a liar when they see one.

      • Trump is the most lying Pres. candidate ever. 3/4 things he said untrue. Uninformed, he had to make stuff up.

        Plus, said he’d help workers but so far has sided w/ elite. Why do you all stick with him when he does that? At least why not push him to help workers instead of just defend him?

      • And Trump won’t fight for the people who voted for him. Witness Trumpcare:

        The most surprising aspect of the politics of the AHCA is that by and large the winners cast majorities for Clinton and the losers backed Trump.

        voters hit the hardest — eligible for at least $5,000 less in tax credits under the Republican plan — supported Mr. Trump by a margin of 59 percent to 36 percent.

  1. Double standards are so embedded in our culture we often don’t recognize when we’re reinforcing them.

    Many women share similar experiences of having their actions judged by a different yardstick than their male colleagues. I once had a client who, when she asked why she was passed over for a leadership role she felt she’d earned, was told she was “a little too nice for such a tough job

    Given the pervasiveness of everyday sexism, there is clearly much to be done to arrive at the day where gender is a non-issue in how we parent, speak, lead and pursue our ambitions.

    • Yes. And since we all internalize our culture (societies understandings and up in our heads) even people who are harmed have to work to overcome prejudices against themselves and their kind.

  2. I’m not sure “Patriarchy” can be tied to a political candidate or a political party. Would the world today really have been that much different had Clinton and the liberals won? You could say yes, but than was there no “Patriarchy” over the eight years of the prior administration.

    You could say there was, but it is now worse with this administration. I think one can overall see progress if they have a longer perspective, but in the end we all see what we want to see.

    I never saw the election as a vote for or a vote against “Patriarchy”, but more a mandate on the pro and con of an increasingly powerful federal government, foreign policy, open boarders, loss of manufacturing jobs, etc.

    • We definitely live in a patriarchal world no matter who is President. I was using the Republican convention to highlight how much sexism against women was being expressed by men and women alike. There is sexism in both parties because all of us have unconsciously internalized patriarchy to some degree. There is sexism in both parties.

      That said, it’s worse in the Republican Party because the Republicans are made of three collisions, two of which are culturally conservative (the Christian coalition and cultural conservatives). Conservatives tend to want to keep things the way they were, and the way they were was more sexist than making progress toward gender equality and racially quality – and recognizing the work and dignity of all of us. Progress. Progressives. Get it?

      If Clinton jad won the working class voters who wanted a better shot would be better off. Trump, as usual, created a fantasy that people fell for. But when he got in power he aligned with the moneyed elite on nearly every issue.

      Trump voters feel like they aren’t being heard and then Trump appointed someone to the Supreme Court who is likely to uphold big money in politics. Money talks and big money in politics drowns out the speech of ordinary citizens.

      Clinton also would have had policies that better helped working people. When you looked at both of their plans The only thing Trump was really clear on was tax cuts for the rich. Hillary was promoting the idea that if you get money into working people’s hands they will spend it, which creates demand, which makes sales and profits go up. Everyone wins.

      And we wouldn’t be having the constitutional crisis we are seeing now as Trump fired someone who was investigating possible ties between the Trump campaign and Russia.

      • I live in the rust belt, Clinton and the Democratic party didn’t do so well with the working class in the closed up factory towns. As for the Russians, didn’t they just reveal how the Democratic party did everything possible to keep Bernie from winning the nomination.

        Trump and Bernie were both anti-establishment candidates. I suspect Bernie’s supporters either stayed home or voted for Trump.

        Anyway, I always enjoy hearing your views.

      • Yeah, Hillary’s message was totally off for the times. Yet if you looked at their economic plans hers was better for the working class. She needed to get that message out. And Bernie shouldn’t have been thwarted.

      • “If Clinton had won the working class voters who wanted a better shot would be better off. ”

        Then why were they not better off under Obama? Our food stamp President!

        All she was going to do was to continue his lame bullshit policies.

      • GOP Congress blocked $ to stimulate economy, hoping for failed President. As hoped, the people largely blamed Obama, not Congress. Although employment greatly grew under him — just not as much as it could have.

  3. “Camille Paglia, Christina Hoff Sommers and Mona Charen are a few women who have gained both money and fame by complaining about feminism. But also misrepresenting it as man-hating.”

    WRONG!!!

    All of these women are feminist. The difference is they are critical of this new brand of feminism (modern feminism) that IS man hating to the core. They do not subscribe to modern feminist ideology which says men are bad. We are rapist (unless you are a Muslim man I suppose).

    It is criticism of men unabated.

  4. I really can’t get over the fact that someone would wear a T-shirt that says “Trump can grab my pussy.” Who are these people?

  5. Especially with this political climate it was very easy to notice women supporting Donald Trump, and it was astonishing to see that they would support someone who is demeaning them. Reading this post it is a little easier to understand that it was mostly white women of money who were supporting him, and they have been seen as second to men their whole life, so why should anything change now. It is very interesting to grow up and learn that even women can be brain washed into thinking in a male perspective, because that is the way America has been, unless Feminists keep fighting against it.

    • Yeah, and it was a mix of White women with money and poor women with money. What they have in common is being part of the Republican coalition which is constituted of the selfish moneyed elite (the unselfish ones vote Democratic), but they weren’t the early Trump supporters. They voted for him over Hillary. The core Trump supporters were mostly working class cultural conservatives — whether they are conservative on race or sex.

  6. As I progress in this course, I find it fascinating how many different instances in my every day life can be blamed on the internalized sexism within our culture. Throughout my life, I have met girls proud to say that they “can’t get along with girls” and proceed to label their own gender as “catty” and “fake”. I have always wondered why this perspective is not only accepted, but encouraged, and why women are comfortable with putting themselves down. It is so crucial to recognize this sexism within ourselves and understand that the female gender can only succeed when women can shed their internalized sexism and work together to form a proud, universally-fronted community.

  7. I feel like women who are supporting patriarchy to this level (wearing T-shirts like that), are in some way embarrassing themselves. For me it seems like they do not have any self respect as a women because how can you respect yourself if you disrespect other women in the way.

    As sad as it is, I also think that some women are so used to living in a patriarchal world that they have got comfortable in the world where men will take care of her and fulfill her dreams if she will follow his rules. What some women lack to understand that every one of us has a chance to fulfill those dreams and whatever it is you might want, yourself.
    Sometimes it’s the question of courage as well; once you have lived in world like this it might be hard and scary to step up to your voice and support equal rights for everyone.

  8. Amelia de Leon

    Women and girls are pitted against each other from day one. We’re basically led to believe that there is finite space for women to be successful in the world.Since it’s designed to look like a competition, the motivation to help and support other women gets sapped from the atmosphere as we fight to do everything we can to keep other women from getting what we want. Women often turn to using words as weapons, knowing how and where to hit to do the most damage to people’s emotions as well as their public image. Women forget or don’t realize that they’re basically just fighting the men’s battles for them and not breaking any sort of cycle. I think some women end up sexist because the patriarchy and society are determined to keep trying to separate women into factions to make us appear divided and weaker.

  9. Our community has created such culture where it seems normal to be in a world filled with sexism produced by both male or females. Women that subject themselves to this sexism just seem to egg on the problem at hand and don’t actually address it. Similar, to the “trump can grab my pussy” shirt is not a great slogan to advocate for and is pretty gross to be honest. Patriarchy has negatively affected our culture and will continue to poison our youth and will sadly be passed on to the next generation. It is difficult to fix the system in our society because it has been so deeply rooted that patriarchy seems normal, but hopefully feministic views will restore some balance to this problem. I never noticed the fact that in language males usually come first, which was an interesting thing to discover and shows how many little things prove the patriarchy in our society.

  10. I completely agree with you. I’ve seen so many cases, some in my own family, where women turn against women and truly, it makes them gain ‘something’ in one way or another. When the same thing happens with a big scenario, the gain naturally becomes greater. I’ve even seen women slut-shaming other young women just because of their ‘bold’ dress. I often wonder, why they do so. Perhaps this act is fuelled by some insecurity they feel while seeing a woman more beautiful, fashionable and successful than they are.

Thoughts? (Comments will appear after moderation)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: