Why Do The “Isms” That Affect Men Seem More Important?
You’re never going to have this revolution happen unless there’s also a sexual revolution.
That was Bill Maher’s verdict on the push for Democracy in Egypt as he discussed the matter on his show, Real Time with Bill Maher.
Pro-feminist, Tavis Smiley, agreed that women need to be treated better. Yet he inserted a different spin: “When we have these conversations about how they treat women, as if we treat women better in our country, it demonizes Muslim men.”
The most well-meaning among us, men like Smiley, work hard to respect other cultures. Yet sometimes we need to discern whether powerful elements of a society are harming less powerful targets. And really, is pointing out a need for improvement “demonization”?
Mr. Smiley is a-okay in my book, and I appreciate his aim here. Yet there is plenty of room for change in cultures that (depending upon the country or province) stone women for being victims of rape, beat women for leaving home without a male relative, keep girls out of school, forbid women from driving, make divorce difficult for women but easy for men, remove battered women from shelters, and cut women’s genitals – leaving them in pain, crippled, or dead.
It’s a sad turn of events when early Islam did so much to improve women’s rights in the world. The Koran gave women the right to work, inherit and own property. Female infanticide and slavery were abolished. Women were given the right to consent to marry. Protections against abuse became instituted.
Today Islamic scholars like Dr. Jamal Badawi work to support women’s rights. Meanwhile, large majorities favor legal, political and professional freedoms for women in North Africa and many countries in the Middle East and the broader Muslim world, according to a 2007 Gallup poll. In fact, the Islamic culture of West Sumatra, Indonesia is one of the most peace-loving, egalitarian places on the planet.
Islam isn’t the problem. Neither are Muslim men.
Still, problems abound. Yet Smiley seems more concerned with ethnocentrism than sexism, given his desire to cut off conversation. Why do the “isms” that affect men seem more important? And did women have equal power to create the cultures that oppress them?
When ethnocentrism and sexism are at odds, which worries should prevail? Cultural relativism – don’t judge one culture from the perspective of another – is a good guide most of the time. But what if someone is being harmed? When people are killed for reasons other than self-defense, when they are crippled physically, emotionally, intellectually or spiritually, those circumstances must trump all others.
Must we worry more about offending those who create cultures that harm women than freeing women who are harmed by them?
Meanwhile, Islamic feminists complain that Western women can be too fearful of offending ethnic sensitivities to back their feminist sisters.
Now, is lecture the best way to handle this? Dialogue is better. Other cultures have perspectives that can benefit us, too. Perhaps we can learn from each other.
Love Tavis. But he insists we cannot criticize until we perfect ourselves. We’ll never be perfect. Still, we must fight oppression wherever it is found, here and there, to whatever degree we find it. Tolerating intolerance is not progressive.
I’m on vacation. This was originally posted on February 25, 2011
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Posted on July 27, 2012, in feminism, gender, psychology, sexism, violence against women, women and tagged feminism, gender, psychology, sexism, violence against women, women. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.
BroadBlogs 
I am that kind of person who really loves a dialogue, a confrontation, because I am aware that if things are a certain way, there must be a reason behind it, even a dark one. But confrontation, dialogue and views exchange may help to get into those reasons, analyze them and maybe eradicate some unuseful evil or change things altogether. I understand Muslim women taking a stand on this topic, Georgia, they have all right to do so and have my respect too.
Thank you for all you do!
You are so welcome.
Reblogged this on Week Woman.
Great. Thanks so much!
Great post – and such an important topic. Infuriating when Western countries see misogyny as somehow a secondary issue when holding talks.
Well-written and sensitive. If I learned anything from the Arab Spring and Mona Ellahawy, as well as an Egyptian feminist blogger here on WordPress, it’s that Muslim women want equality as much as Western women and are just as feminist. There is far less cultural difference than I previously thought.
Georgia–
When ethnocentrism and sexism are at odds, which worries should prevail? Cultural relativism – don’t judge one culture from the perspective of another – is a good guide most of the time. But what if someone is being harmed? When people are killed for reasons other than self-defense, when they are crippled physically, emotionally, intellectually or spiritually, those circumstances must trump all others.
This is so vital.
Whoever is being most harmed takes precidence.
If women are being raped and killed, that creates more harm than calling attention to the harmful cultural practice, and embarrassing or insulting the culture.