Anyone Crave The Male Gaze?
When it comes to feelings about this sort of gaze, women aren’t all of a kind.
I surveyed 44 of my women students for their thoughts.
Some love it. Some like it sometimes. Others… not so much.
Women who love it
Just over a quarter of the women I surveyed really enjoy the male gaze.
Most of these ladies think men are hardwired to do it and can’t help themselves.
And these gals like it regardless of circumstance. Doesn’t matter whether they have purposely dressed to look sexy, or who is looking at them. It’s all good in their minds.
Women’s self-esteem in our culture is often based on looks and this gaze probably makes them feel high status.
But do they feel any discomfort if a guy ogles in front of his partner? Half of this group didn’t mind one bit. Usually, they simply weren’t thinking about his significant other. Others relished a feeling of superiority over his lady.
But about a third of these women thought that any guy who would do that in front of his wife or girlfriend is kind of a jerk.
Sometimes I like it. It depends.
Just under 1/5 said the male gaze can lift their self-esteem and make them feel good.
But it depends.
Like, is she trying to dress sexy?
If not, the attention makes her feel self-conscious, like an object, and it feels like an invasion of privacy.
The attitude behind the gaze is crucial. A respectful, appreciating glance (not stare) can be a complement. Anything disrespectful is not.
But most importantly, is the man someone she’s interested in? If so, the attention is most definitely wanted.
The women in this group all feel like any guy who would ogle her in front of his partner is a jerk.
Do I like ogling? Not so much
More than half — 55% — don’t like it at all.
Ogling doesn’t make these women feel good about themselves; instead, stares from strangers make them feel uncomfortable. Like objects. And it makes them feel like the men feel entitled to their bodies.
But there’s an exception. If the male gaze is coming from someone she’s interested in, she likes his attention very much.
And these women just hate it when a man ogles her in front of his partner, which they find rude and disrespectful to all involved. Many worry that the wife or girlfriend will be upset with her, as well.
This group does not think that men are hardwired to behave that way, either.
So there you have it
Three different groups of women with three different attitudes toward men’s ogling. Maybe the variety of experience helps explain why some guys find it all so confusing.