“I’m not really aware of this among the women I know: Men usually have to “prove” themselves to women in some way for her to date them.”

Yes, that’s my point and what I wrote…I’m confused, are you agreeing? You’re not really aware of the women you know? As in what?. Yes it’s more of a burden on men, because like I said, men have to prove themselves to women and not so often women proving themselves to men, except for the very few exceptions of men like I listed. So sitting back and having the other prove themselves to you doesn’t really work if you’re a man, because men are the pursuers and have to prove themselves and charm the women they meet and talk to, women don’t have to usually.

And, most men do eventually marry. Even guys who shop at Walmart — look around and you will see plenty of married men there.

It’s good to feel you’re attractive and confident. And yes, being happy is a big part and his view is that confidence is a big part of it. But what I think is key and left out is that it’s not always from people thinking they are unattractive or insecure that brings them down and makes them unattractive or atleast not irresistible to others. Like you’ve said how so many women feel bad about their bodies and that self consciousness deterring women from being and feeling sexy and irresistible and how these women don’t realize that confidence is a big thing for their sexiness. They may not be thin like a model or have some extra lbs but it’s much more from the self conscious vibe they give out nit picking their body that makes a woman not sexy than her actual body. Like many guys have said, a woman that carries herself well, and exudes that confidence is sexy and therefore her body and everything is sexy.

So while this is true. There are exceptions. I think a person can feel good or proud of themselves and not think bad of themselves and feel they are attractive, but things not go like the author says and it’s because of one big thing. Not confidence, but “faith” “hope” optimism and positive thinking. That’s key and huge. Trust me you can feel strongly about your attractivness and everything, but not exactly be happy, because frustration and failures blind you. Not because you don’t think you are not attractive or skilled, etc, but negative thinking of past frustrations and the “here we go again” when something seems to go wrong again. I wish I could just brush things off, but part of this seems easier for people like it’s a personality thing too. A personality like I am, well they not to sweat the small stuff, but that’s a thing I do a lot, so people who are impatient, proud and get frustrated easily. They can get unhinged easily or easier so this “things will be ok and good, etc” doesn’t come right out and a person who is more analytical, a personality, proud, etc is eventually more likely to have guarded optimism to not be let down again. It’s a “I have to see things fruition first, before I get too happy and excited” As it pisses me off to be excited and thinking things will change and be good and then something come out of knowhere or change and things go back to how they were and so next time, guarded as a result.

People with the “take things in stride” personality, they seem to handle frustrations better, failures etc, because maybe more humility, positive attitude, and patience. I think those are key and not simply confidence and loving yourself. You kind of have to have self confidence but humility too. Because humility is what kind of calms the flames to to speak when things go wrong or struggles on what you normally would accomplish. Humility allows a person to not fret things because they are grounded. That’s why it’s hard to me, and others. You have to temper that feeling about yourself. It’s easy if your not competitive. It’s tougher if you’re a person who wants to be better than everyone else and loves to stroke your own ego and is not satisfied with being “average” and have a high standard for yourself. The high standard creates high expectatiions, thus if those results or expecations not met of what you think you should accomplish especially if its something easy or usually routine and becomes a struggle it can be humiliatng and frustrating and to get really, really angry from that ego bruising and pride shooting out. The humble person is less likely to take themselves as serious. But it’s like something that people who aren’t that way really have to work at, even if they don’t lack belief in themselves and do think they are attractive, etc.