The guy should always pay?
Posted by BroadBlogs
A young man and woman are out on a first date, and everything is going swimmingly. That is, until the check comes and the man’s card gets declined. With no cash and a bad credit card, what’s a guy to do?
Those words are from Tarnished Sophia, commenting on a scene from the ABC television show “What Would You Do?”
TS points out that the woman could have paid, or that people could have suggested that she pay. But no one does. She goes on:
But wait…it takes two to tango, and two people definitely ate the lunch and desert from this meal. Yet time after time the scenario runs it’s course without a single onlooker taking a moment to remind the gal that she has a wallet of her own. Instead, different men and couples voluntarily pay for this broke Romeo and his cheap Juliet. (Except for one segment, where no one offers to help, the woman leaves, and the man is left to wash dishes to pay off the meal.) Throughout the episode, female onlookers are heard to say that “this is his last date” and they “felt sorry for the girl”.
So what do I think?
The sort of sociology I do looks at how society gets in our heads — so much that no one feels like they have any choice outside of social scripts. That seems to be in play here.
We still live in a culture in which men are expected to pay, and so it never crosses anyone’s mind that the woman should pay for this first date. Everyone is too bound by gender roles to see anything else.
Actually, the reason I got involved in this sort of sociology is because I grew up in a very conservative religion where women fought — and continue to fight — against their own interests.
When I was growing up women in my church fought against women holding priesthood, battered women’s shelters, and many wouldn’t use birth control when they desperately wanted and needed it. One of these friends complains that, “It’s too bad that my husband is a man and I’m a woman because I would rather go to work and my husband would rather be at home.”
Really. You could live your life differently.
Maybe all of us should give some thought to how we might be limiting ourselves because we think we don’t have a choice when we actually do.
Related Posts on BroadBlogs
- Why Do Women Fight Against Their Own Interests?
- Are Women Brainwashed Into Polygamy?
- The Burqa and Individual Rights: It’s Complicated
About BroadBlogsI have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.
Posted on September 17, 2014, in feminism, gender, psychology, sexism, women and tagged ABC TV show "What Would You Do?", feminism, gender, psychology, sexism, social constructs, women. Bookmark the permalink. 75 Comments.