Secrets To A Strong Marriage
Have you ever wondered how couples manage to stay married for decades and still enjoy spending time together? Finding the right person is important, but the truth is that you have to make efforts within your marriage to make it enjoyable for you both. Building a strong marriage is possible if you are ready to truly make a commitment to your marriage and family and to make the efforts daily to be kind and loving every day. Treat your loved ones like you normally naturally treat guests or strangers every day.
Learn To Communicate
You need to build a space where both spouses can express themselves and talk about their dreams and the things they wished were different. Both spouses should be able to express themselves without having to worry about being judged or put down. Avoid using negative language when talking with your spouse and always try to have a conversation when you encounter an issue instead of escalating things into a fight.
Learn To Have Fair Fights
Fighting or disagreeing is an important part of a healthy marriage but your fights should look like discussions where both sides get to state their points of view. If your fights look like shouting matches or if negative words are used, you need to change the way you fight. You might find that it is better to wait until you are in the right mood to discuss the issues you are encountering. Be receptive to what your spouse has to say and do not avoid having a conversation because you know you will have to make a compromise.
Keep Things Interesting
The happiest marriages are the ones where the spouses always do small things for each other and constantly re-invent themselves and their relationship. You need to figure out what works for your marriage. You might for instance want to try a new activity together, travel, surprise your spouse with a small gift or change your look regularly. Trying new things together is important and small romantic gestures are what will keep your relationship interesting.
Build A Happy Life Outside of Your Marriage
You need to build a friendship with your spouse but you might end up expecting too much from your spouse if you have no other friendships outside of the marriage. Spend some time with your friends regularly, make new friends, work on your career and look for new activities you enjoy. Having a happy life outside of the marriage will make it easier to bring a positive attitude to the marriage. Living a rich life will help you grow as a person and so will your spouse if they also have an interesting life filled with friends and hobbies.
Just to clarify, I do not mean having inappropriate interactions with someone of the opposite sex. For example, if you are texting or having phone conversations that you do not want your spouse to read or hear, you know you are off track completely.
This might seem like a detail, but laughing together will really help you build a strong marriage. Laughter is one of the most positive ways to interact with each other and finding stuff you can laugh at together is the best way to make sure spending time with your spouse is never dull. Being able to laugh together will help you get through the rough patches and make your life more enjoyable.
These five tips will help you build a strong and healthy marriage. Share them with your spouse and talk about the things you might need to work on!
Reposted by permission from Marriage Counseling Online
Waverly J. Hanson is a licensed professional counselor, licensed marriage coach, military and family life consultant, professional trainer and author of How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage. She has more than 25 years of experience helping individuals and couples improve their lives. To learn more about her effective methods, visit her site.
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