Think We’ve Overcome Victorian Repression?
Some girls make it difficult for the rest of us to get respect.
That’s what a sorority sister said about girls who “give it away” too easily.
When I ask my students in the progressive San Francisco Bay Area what they think about this, I often hear thoughts like this:
Yeah that’s true. Some girls do give it up too easily and make it hard on the rest of us.
Their mamas didn’t teach them right.
Shaming girls for being “too easy”
All of my American students have witnessed slut-shaming in high school. And some of them have been shamed. Even without being sexually active.
One had transformed herself from tomboy to fashion-plate over the summer. But when she returned to school in the fall the kids at her middle school mocked her as “easy” and a “slut.” She spent lunch hours hiding in the bathroom — she didn’t want to eat because she’d lost her appetite, and she felt safer there. Eventually she began home schooling to escape the abuse and was put on suicide watch.
Another girl was shamed just because she had C cups by 6th grade. And when she eventually became sexually active, she was humiliated — although the boys she had sex with were not.
These girls often blame themselves instead of questioning the double standard.
Against fears of punishment for being sexual young women damp down their desire, oftentimes until it actually goes away, leaving about half of us with low to no interest in sex.
We don’t guilt guys that way. In fact, we cheer them on. Sometimes even for sexual assault. And too often we humiliate girls who are assaulted! More on that soon.