Blog Archives

Libido Killer: My Man Ogling Her

oglerYears ago I briefly dated a guy who ogled other women.

Ogle: To look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently; to eye; look or stare at.

I “get” noticing and appreciating an attractive gal. But he dissolved into her. The many hers. While I faded away.

He thought I was weird: “Most girlfriends wouldn’t mind!”

But it was a huge turnoff. Read the rest of this entry

Frat-Boy Rapists Are Okay?

University of Virginia protesters

University of Virginia protesters

Note: Rolling Stone issued a statement saying there are some discrepancies in Jackie’s story. (See note below).

Why do we blame victims of brutal violence and shield — or even reward — their attackers?

Maybe you’ve heard about 18-year-old Jackie who met “Drew” when they worked as lifeguards at a University of Virginia swimming pool. Drew invited Jackie to dinner and a “date function” at his upper tier fraternity, Phi Kappa Psi.

Jackie was excited, and spent hours getting ready for the date. At the frat party she sipped some spiked punch and discreetly poured the rest onto the sticky floor. And then Drew suggested they go upstairs, “Where it’s quieter.”  Read the rest of this entry

Why Dating Resists Gender Equality

How to ask a girl out

How to ask a girl out

Gender equality has grown by leaps and bounds. We now have women CEOs, heads of state, religious leaders, media pros, doctors, lawyers and accountants…

But dating — at least the early stages — has remained resistant.

In the early stages of relationship, most men take the lead and most women passively wait. Read the rest of this entry

Variety Is The Spice Of Life

Variety is the spice of life

Variety is the spice of life

“Find fits for every body type,” the ad says.

Hmmm, I see tall and skinny in the first frame. Tall and skinny in the second frame. Tall and skinny in the third frame. And tall and skinny in the last frame. Read the rest of this entry

Chimp Study: Assault Aids Procreation?

Mean chimps

Mean chimps

Violence against women may aid procreation?

Some evolutionary psychologists actually think so.

After all, mean male chimps sire more offspring than their friendlier brothers, an Arizona State study findsRead the rest of this entry

How to Deal with Repression

shame2Repression is not what you might think it is. I recently wrote:

A lot of us think it’s about working to suppress sexual desire. And while the early stages can be at least partly conscious, after a while you’re not actively blocking anything. You’ve simply lost sexual feelings and energy. Plus, plenty of punishing messages targeted at women’s desire get internalized. And sex is too often used as a weapon. Read the rest of this entry

Defacing Pro-Woman Messages

Defaced image that supports women

Defaced image that supports women

Why would someone feel so threatened by a poster asking to respect women and treat them with basic human dignity that they try to tear it down and write degrading comments on it?

That’s what one of my friends’ daughters wondered.

Amber had been walking downtown with her two kids when they saw this poster from a distance, proclaiming:  Read the rest of this entry

The Little Mermaid says, “You’ve come a long way, baby”

Little Mermaid coverDisney’s Little Mermaid will celebrate her 25th birthday in a few days.

Ariel was the first Disney Princess to be touched by feminism. And she is plenty different from her predecessors — good girls who never rocked the boat, and who all needed saving by their Prince Charmings.

In Ariel we find a young woman with a strong sense of self who seeks independence and empowerment.

But she reflects the early tensions of our feminist beginnings.  Read the rest of this entry

Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze

Della Calfee. Ass Like That

Della Calfee. Ass Like That

Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.

That’s what art critic John Berger famously observed.

But some feminist artists have turned the tables in the exhibit, Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze:

With a gallery filled with men stripped naked this body of work exposes women’s cheeky, provocative and sometimes shocking commentaries on the opposite sex (which) may make the viewer squirm a little. But that is precisely the point.

Read the rest of this entry

Using Racism to Excuse Sexism

You’ve probably seen this anti-street harassment video:

It’s part of Hollaback’s ongoing work to empower women by boosting empathy, understanding and change.

But the video has been called racist for over representing men of color.

Here’s what Dr. Brittany Cooper, a Rutgers University professor of women, gender and Africana studies, had to say about that: Read the rest of this entry

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