Blog Archives

Ritual Degradation & Male “Superiority”

Taking the walk of shame.

Taking the walk of shame.

“No means yes! Yes means anal!” 

That’s how the boys of Yale’s Delta Kappa Epsilon (DKE) serenaded the women’s dorms and the campus Women’s Center a couple years back.

Another frat had pledges shout epithets at young women returning to their dorms each Sunday morning.

Not so long ago Dartmouth’s Zeta Psi was shuttered for publishing a newsletter that named and derided women who had sex with fraternity brothers. It also promised “patented date-rape techniques” in a future issue.  Read the rest of this entry

Equal Marriage = Less Sex?

porn-for-women[1]Does an equal marriage mean less sex?

Maybe you’ve seen studies suggesting this unhappy possibility.

When men do feminine chores like laundry, cooking and vacuuming, couples have sex 1.5 fewer times per month compared with more traditional couples. But when men stick to masculine duties like fixing the car and taking out the trash, women report greater sexual satisfaction, according to University of Washington sociologists.

These findings disappoint progressives and cheer conservatives. And go against feminist expectations that men will get more sex when wives are less worn out.  Read the rest of this entry

No GOP War On Women? 

GOP war on women

GOP war on women

Republicans deny waging war on women. 

Well, how about the list below, which includes cuts to life-saving programs that mostly affect women.

Too many Republican legislators have:

  • Voted against equal pay for women
  • Sought to make miscarriage subject to criminal investigation
  • Sought to make women’s health insurance cost more than men’s
  • Cut funds to women’s clinics that screen for STDs and cancer of the breast and cervix
  • Insisted corporations should have more rights than women, when it comes to contraception. Even though it is women’s bodily and financial well-being that are at stake
  • Insisted that women seeking abortion undergo a vaginal probe — mirroring sexual assault
  • Refused to consider rape or incest, or a women’s health or life, when legislating against abortion
  • Said stupid stuff about rape, like insisting that it can’t cause pregnancy

Meanwhile, Paul Ryan’s budgetRead the rest of this entry

Only Virgins Can Be Sexually Assaulted

Indians protesting the way rape survivors are treated.

Indians protesting the way rape survivors are treated.

Once upon a time in America only virgins or married women could be raped, people thought. In some places people still think so.

The problem comes from failing to see the world through the eyes of victims.

And so an article from the 1952-53 Yale Law Journal explained that sexual assault is illegal because,

Women’s power to withhold or grant sexual access is an important bargaining weapon… it fosters, and is in turn bolstered by, a masculine pride in the exclusive possession of the sexual object… whose value is enhanced by sole ownership.

Even though this is the crime women most fear, outside of murder.  Read the rest of this entry

Game of Thrones ‘S Us

Daenerys Targaryen

Daenerys Targaryen

Set in some mythical time and place reminiscent of Paganism meets Christianity here on Earth, the mirror that is Game of Thrones reflects both our gender bias and our rising equality.

In this patriarchal world the virtuous Daenerys Targaryen and her evil brother, Viserys, march to take back the Iron Throne they were born to, but are now exiled from. While Daenerys is clearly the wiser of the two, she has no right to rule — at least not while her brother lives. Instead, she is used as a pawn —  sold off as a slave, really, to buy her brother an army.  Read the rest of this entry

Real vs Cartoonish Sexuality

Real sexuality? Or just cartoonish?

Real sexuality? Or just cartoonish?

I believe we should afford our daughters and ourselves a right to our own authentic sexuality. Not the cartoonish MTV kind, but the kind where we respect ourselves enough to listen to what our bodies and hearts feel is right for us.

Paraphrasing psychoanalyst and author Joyce McFadden, there.

What is authentic sexuality? In my last post, I suggested it is neither shameful nor a crutch for powerlessness or low self-esteem. But what else?  Read the rest of this entry

Authentic Sexuality v Dressing Like Prostitutes

Hello Kitty thong

Hello Kitty thong

Why do moms let their daughters “dress like prostitutes?” asked Jennifer Moses in a Wall Street Journal piece that got people talking a while back.

Moses thinks it’s because the moms had a sexually free past, which they now regret. “Not one woman I’ve ever asked about the subject,” she declared, “has said that she wishes she’d ‘experimented’ more.”

Well, wouldn’t you want your daughters to NOT look like prostitutes, then?  Read the rest of this entry

Your Pain: A Small Price for My Pleasure

scarsPolice in Salinas, California conducted a home welfare check after three children, ages 8, 5, and 3, didn’t arrive for an unspecified appointment. What they found was gruesome. The isolated children, who were ostensibly being homeschooled, were malnourished and bruised.

But the eight-year-old girl seems to have gotten it worse than her brothers. She was periodically locked in a closet or chained to a wall, 4 feet off the ground. She was sometimes shackled by the ankle, and other times by a collar around her small neck. And starving, she resembled a concentration camp victim.   Read the rest of this entry

Grandma and Susan B Anthony

Queen of the Platform by Laura Madeline Wiseman

Queen of the Platform by Laura Madeline Wiseman

Imagine having a great-great-great-grandmother who fought for “votes for women” alongside Susan B Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

Poet, Laura Madeline Wiseman’s great-great-great-grandmother, Matilda Fletcher Wiseman did just that.

Collected letters and newspaper clippings inspired a book of poetry that Ms. Wiseman calls, Queen of the Platform.

What prompted Matilda Fletcher Wiseman to join the lecture circuit? Luck, opportunity, the death of her only child, and a need for income. Talent and hope for the future, too.

It’s interesting to see the portrait Matilda Fletcher Wiseman paints of Susan B Anthony in her up-close-and-personal brushes with the icon:

Read the rest of this entry

How I Overcame My Misogyny

misogynyBy Laura Wolff

I was a pre-teen bitch.

I wasn’t exceptionally mean or catty — in fact, I was an anti-bullying advocate. But my deeply internalized sexism led me to disdain anything and everything considered “girly,” from “Twilight” to dresses to teenybopper Disney stars. And the girls who enjoyed them.  Read the rest of this entry

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