Pornographic images seem to activate a man’s visual system in a manner that goes beyond just looking at trees or even people. It’s almost like a high-definition signal compared with a standard signal.
That’s from William Struthers, Ph.D., a biopsychologist who wrote Wired for Intimacy.
He says the signal feels a lot like a drug. Some men call porn a “drug” and say it gives them a “rush” and makes them “high.” One man called it, “More mind altering than alcohol or any drug I’ve used.” Read the rest of this entry
By Lisa Wade @ Sociological Images
We’ve all heard the truism “sex sells.”
But whose sex is sold? And to who?
If it was simply that sex sold,
…we’d see men and women equally sexually objectified in popular culture. Instead, we see, primarily, women sold to (presumably heterosexual) men. So what are we selling, exactly, if not “sex”?
A young woman attending a college workshop on sexual assault was shocked to hear men say they thought handholding was more intimate than sex.
After all, they held hands with women they cared about. They could get a hand job — or even intercourse — from any old hookup.
Well, I’m perplexed, too. Read the rest of this entry
A lot of guys complain that being nice kills off the feminine libido.
But that doesn’t make sense to me because I’m only attracted to nice guys. So are my friends.
And plenty of women are attracted to these nice guys: Read the rest of this entry
Which is it?
Maybe you’ve heard of this project: strangers approach students on college campuses and propose a one night stand or a short-term fling. Women almost always decline, but a lot of men accept.
Standard conclusion: evidence supports evolutionary psychology which claims women are picky, wanting faithful men with good genes, who will provide for their children. Men, on the other hand, will have sex with as many women as possible to better “spread their seed.”
They’re so fun that we’ve named them funbags, squeezeboxes, jugs, hooters, racks, boobs, and tits.
They’re fun to look at, fun to touch and squeeze. They bounce. Men like them, and that is a good thing.
Breasts can be fun to own.
They give a woman pleasure, and that is a good thing. They are an important part of a woman’s body—emblematic of her femininity, her sexuality. When a girl begins to develop breasts, it is her body’s way of saying she will one day be a woman, and a girl listens to that. She listens as the growing pains shoot through her chest, she listens as her mother and grandmother talk about finding a bra. Breasts are such an important part of the transition from girlhood to womanhood that we sometimes call them girls. Read the rest of this entry
Ogle: To look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently; to eye; look or stare at.
I “get” noticing and appreciating an attractive gal. But he dissolved into her. The many hers. While I faded away.
He thought I was weird: “Most girlfriends wouldn’t mind!”
But it was a huge turnoff. Read the rest of this entry
Repression is not what you might think it is. I recently wrote:
A lot of us think it’s about working to suppress sexual desire. And while the early stages can be at least partly conscious, after a while you’re not actively blocking anything. You’ve simply lost sexual feelings and energy. Plus, plenty of punishing messages targeted at women’s desire get internalized. And sex is too often used as a weapon. Read the rest of this entry
Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.
That’s what art critic John Berger famously observed.
But some feminist artists have turned the tables in the exhibit, Man as Object: Reversing the Gaze:
With a gallery filled with men stripped naked this body of work exposes women’s cheeky, provocative and sometimes shocking commentaries on the opposite sex (which) may make the viewer squirm a little. But that is precisely the point.
Misconceptions surround sexual repression. And both women and men can be confused.
Some women feel insulted if anyone suggests they might be repressed.
And conversations with guys have made me realize that plenty of them think that repression means, “I really want to have sex with you but I’m going to consciously repress the idea.”
Repression isn’t quite like that. Read the rest of this entry