Blog Archives

Do better looking people have better personalities?

Beauty: Just skin deep

Beauty: Just skin deep

By Lisa Wade, PhD @ Sociological Images

Do better looking people have better personalities?

People seem to think so.

At one time OkCupid gave users the opportunity to rate each other twice: once for personality and once for looks.  The two were strikingly correlated. Read the rest of this entry

Men: More Likely to Separate Love & Sex?

sex v love

sex v love

Men are more likely than women to separate love and sex, right?

Men are more interested in no-strings sex, and they are less likely to be distressed the next day.

A while back a New York Times piece advocating open relationships discussed how it’s typically easier for gay men, compared with straight or lesbian couples, to open their relationships — for that reason.

But is it true?  Read the rest of this entry

Guys Just Want One Thing

Guys want just one thing?Guys just want one thing.

The belief is so widespread that we needn’t say what the one thing is.

Yet the truism isn’t true.

You may have heard that since there are more women than men on college campuses these days, women are pressured to do sex the way men like it: No strings attached.  Read the rest of this entry

Red sex is for girls; Blue is for boys? 

Red sex, Blue sex

Red sex, Blue sex

When you think of red state sexuality, images of Bible believers saving themselves for marriage — or at least keeping their numbers down — may come to mind.

No wonder plenty of Southerners favor pastors and politicians who preach sex after marriage, abstinence education, no contraception, and shuttering Planned Parenthood.

And blue state sexuality? Full of “friends with benefits” and casual hookups, right?  Read the rest of this entry

His & Hers Objectification

Check out the side-by-side comparisons that show how strange it is when women and men get the same sex object treatment:

Women don’t seem to objectify men the way men do women.

It’s not that we’re any better. We just aren’t bombarded by a steady stream of sexualized and fetishized men and man-parts — that unconsciously seep into our brains. Thus, when men are turned into sex objects, it can look ridiculous.

But why’s objectification a problem? Read the rest of this entry

Men, Myths & Female Pleasure

Originally posted on Scott Williams:

Young Couple in Relationship Conflict

You understand how to fix your car. You can recite hockey stats like a scout. You understand renovations. You are good at your job. So why can’t you figure out a clitoris? The G-Spot? Do you really know if she’s faking it?

It is staggering the number of females in a longterm heterosexual marriage or relationship who tell me they rarely orgasm unless they do it themselves. The percentage is so high that I am nervous about how believable it would sound if I ventured a guess. The words, vast majority, have a truthful ring to them. Many women admit that they used to have more pleasure. Often women will tell me that their partner tries to pleasure them. More often than not, however, it’s tempting to just “lie back and dream of England”. So what is the big deal? Why is this so hard?

It really isn’t. It…

View original 476 more words

Empowered v Scripted Sex

Want pleasure? Intimacy? Fun? Empower yourself.

Want pleasure? Intimacy? Fun? Empower yourself.

You can’t be autonomous and empowered if you are being run by sexual scripts.

Whether the script says everyone should be pure or the script says everyone should hookup.

Plenty of women worry that they will be punished for being sexual, “You slut, ho, skank…”

Even after marriage, the negativity won’t magically disappear. No wonder nearly half of American women have experienced sexual dysfunction.

The only message our moms or grandmas got, premaritally, was “sex is bad.” Today, messages are mixed. But can still be disempowering. Read the rest of this entry

Men Using Sex To Gain Intimacy

Sex + Emotion

Sex + Emotion

By Jonathan Cadet

Women need intimacy to get to sex, they say. Well, it may be weak for a man to admit this, but we don’t have sex just for sex. A lot of us have sex because it’s one of the few ways we can express our emotions and gain intimacy.

I’d never thought about it until my women’s psych professor talked about how hard it is for men to express emotion.

But now I think it’s one reason why we seem to crave sex more than women do.  Read the rest of this entry

Early Sex = Less Sex, Short Relationships

Quick sex = quick relationships?

Quick sex = quick relationships?

Having sex early on is associated with short-term relationships. And less sex while in them.

That’s what sociologists, Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, learned after researching young adults for their book, Premarital Sex in America.

When couples in their 20’s went to bed the first day or the first week of knowing someone, only 14% were still in a relationship a year later. If they waited a month or two, 26% remained together. After six months one-third were still a couple.  Read the rest of this entry

How Not To Do Open Relationships

open

By Dr. NerdLove

Reddit apparently saw fit to provide me with a story about open relationships and dating that’s so perfectly crafted and ironic that it’s practically an O. Henry story.

In case you missed it, a gentleman posted the (now deleted) story of how he pressured his girlfriend into an open relationship to the site’s Relationship subreddit. This Reddit Romeo expected that life in an open relationship would be hot and cold running blowjobs for him while his girlfriend – a heavier woman, although he rushes to point out “she was like this when we started” – would be getting whatever crumbs of affection she could scrounge.

I’ll give you three guesses as to how that all turned out.  Read the rest of this entry

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