Blog Archives

Libido Killer: My Man Ogling Her

oglerYears ago I briefly dated a guy who ogled other women.

Ogle: To look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently; to eye; look or stare at.

I “get” noticing and appreciating an attractive gal. But he dissolved into her. The many hers. While I faded away.

He thought I was weird: “Most girlfriends wouldn’t mind!”

But it was a huge turnoff. Read the rest of this entry

Introverts Are Good At Relationships

loversBy   (Reposted from The Good Men Project)

First of all, what is an introvert?

Introversion and extroversion are some of the least properly understood terms in psychology. People assume it means whether or not you like to be around people. This is overly simplistic and simply not true.

Here is the best way that I’ve heard introversion explained. Read the rest of this entry

Why Dating Resists Gender Equality

How to ask a girl out

How to ask a girl out

Gender equality has grown by leaps and bounds. We now have women CEOs, heads of state, religious leaders, media pros, doctors, lawyers and accountants…

But dating — at least the early stages — has remained resistant.

In the early stages of relationship, most men take the lead and most women passively wait. Read the rest of this entry

Does Living Together Prevent Divorce? 

Thinking about living together before marriage?

Thinking about living together before marriage?

Many young people want to live with their intended before marriage, in hopes of avoiding divorce.

Like Ben, a 22-year-old from Pennsylvania:

I think if you do end up marrying that person, you can understand their habits better. You can be more sure.

Read the rest of this entry

We Like People Who Like Us

What attracts?

What attracts?

Just knowing that someone likes us spurs attraction to them.

In one experiment a young woman acted interested in men via eye contact, leaning toward them, and listening attentively. Afterward, the men said they liked her very much.

In fact, “liking” — or not — can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you expect someone won’t like you, you probably won’t act like you like them. And then they won’t like you. This has been borne out in experiments, too.  Read the rest of this entry

Repression: Not What You Think It Is

A culture of sexual repression

A culture of sexual repression

Misconceptions surround sexual repression. And both women and men can be confused.

Some women feel insulted if anyone suggests they might be repressed.

And conversations with guys have made me realize that plenty of them think that repression means, “I really want to have sex with you but I’m going to consciously repress the idea.”

Repression isn’t quite like that.  Read the rest of this entry

My Polyamory Journey

Polyamory 1By William Albert Baldwin

A few weeks ago, a woman invited me to her apartment, then proceeded to interview me for the role of her boyfriend/
lover/escort.

Since I write about polyamorous relationships and since I list myself as “in an open relationship” on Facebook, she figured I must be “available.”

Besides, I’m a guy; aren’t guys always ready for a willing woman?

In short: No. Read the rest of this entry

Do better looking people have better personalities?

Beauty: Just skin deep

Beauty: Just skin deep

By Lisa Wade, PhD @ Sociological Images

Do better looking people have better personalities?

People seem to think so.

At one time OkCupid gave users the opportunity to rate each other twice: once for personality and once for looks.  The two were strikingly correlated. Read the rest of this entry

Men: More Likely to Separate Love & Sex?

sex v love

sex v love

Men are more likely than women to separate love and sex, right?

Men are more interested in no-strings sex, and they are less likely to be distressed the next day.

A while back a New York Times piece advocating open relationships discussed how it’s typically easier for gay men, compared with straight or lesbian couples, to open their relationships — for that reason.

But is it true?  Read the rest of this entry

Guys Just Want One Thing

Guys want just one thing?Guys just want one thing.

The belief is so widespread that we needn’t say what the one thing is.

Yet the truism isn’t true.

You may have heard that since there are more women than men on college campuses these days, women are pressured to do sex the way men like it: No strings attached.  Read the rest of this entry

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