I’m in a relationship with a long-term partner who wants a threesome — he says it would just be fun and wouldn’t mean anything. I laughed it off and said I wasn’t into it because I’m a monogamous person.
But we went camping and all I heard about were the hot bodies around us — and joking about getting into someone else’s pants while I’m at work, just to see if fantasy lives up to reality.
I don’t know what to do. Honestly, I’ve never found anyone else attractive. Plus, the true love bit [insert violin music here].
I’m getting worried that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants something better. This worries me because although I may not be the one for him he is definitely the one for me… Its like my soul loves him as much as my heart does.
I don’t know what to do.
A lot of guys have come to expect P.S.E. [the “Porn-Star Experience”] … and plenty of women are more than happy to oblige. A few might enjoy it, but for most it’s harrowing. I think there’s a fear that if they can’t make it happen, their boyfriend will retreat online.
Birth control sabotage is a common form of partner abuse. In a report released by the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 25 percent of women callers to the hot line, who voluntarily answered questions about birth control and pressure to get pregnant in their relationships, reported some form of reproductive coercion.
The callers said their partners hid birth control pills or flushed them down the toilet. Some refused to wear condoms or poked holes in them. One woman’s partner became furious when she got her period. Read the rest of this entry
Meanwhile, we do a very good job of dismissing relationships as unimportant in American culture, even though most guys value them very much. These expressions below need to go the way of the dodo. And yes, some of these could be applied directly to men by women or have easy parallels. Those expressions need to go away too. Read the rest of this entry
Looking at other women has become a big problem for me.
I want to learn how to stop. I mean no harm, but it upsets my wife and hurts her. She says I lose touch with reality and become a different person — and don’t even notice her.
That’s from a 42-year-old man whose been married 16 years. He’s totally satisfied with his wife, he says, and has no interest in anyone else.
But he feels he has no control over his ogling. Read the rest of this entry
I recently admitted my surprise that some people find handholding more intimate than a hand job.
And I admitted that, for me, the “aloof intimacy” of non-emotional sex ranges from unappealing to disturbing.
And then I asked people who saw things differently — both on my blog and among my friends — to tell me how they felt.
Here’s what they said — plus a few more thoughts: Read the rest of this entry
Pornographic images seem to activate a man’s visual system in a manner that goes beyond just looking at trees or even people. It’s almost like a high-definition signal compared with a standard signal.
That’s from William Struthers, Ph.D., a biopsychologist who wrote Wired for Intimacy.
He says the signal feels a lot like a drug. Some men call porn a “drug” and say it gives them a “rush” and makes them “high.” One man called it, “More mind altering than alcohol or any drug I’ve used.” Read the rest of this entry
A young woman attending a college workshop on sexual assault was shocked to hear men say they thought handholding was more intimate than sex.
After all, they held hands with women they cared about. They could get a hand job — or even intercourse — from any old hookup.
Well, I’m perplexed, too. Read the rest of this entry
A lot of guys complain that being nice kills off the feminine libido.
But that doesn’t make sense to me because I’m only attracted to nice guys. So are my friends.
And plenty of women are attracted to these nice guys: Read the rest of this entry
Ogle: To look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently; to eye; look or stare at.
I “get” noticing and appreciating an attractive gal. But he dissolved into her. The many hers. While I faded away.
He thought I was weird: “Most girlfriends wouldn’t mind!”
But it was a huge turnoff. Read the rest of this entry