Blog Archives

What Guys Won’t Admit

The Mask You Live In

The Mask You Live In

A guy sent me a link to a post called, “The One Thing All Men Feel, But Never Admit.”

He attached a note:

I can relate.

What is this thing that so many men feel but cannot say?  Read the rest of this entry

Men & Women React to Male & Female Nudity

Women and men showing skin

Women and men showing skin

By Lisa Wade @ Sociological Images

We’ve all heard the truism “sex sells.”

But whose sex is sold?  And to who?

If it was simply that sex sold,

…we’d see men and women equally sexually objectified in popular culture.  Instead, we see, primarily, women sold to (presumably heterosexual) men.  So what are we selling, exactly, if not “sex”?

Read the rest of this entry

How I’m Seen Differently in a Female Body

Joelle Circé, “Waving Pride”

Joelle Circé, “Waving Pride”

No aspect of my existence, no moment of the day, no contact, no arrangement, no response is not different for men and for women. The very tone of voice in which I was now addressed, the very posture of the person next in the line.

And if others’ responses shifted, so did my own. The more I was treated as a woman, the more woman I became. I adapted willy-nilly. If I was assumed to be incompetent at reversing cars, or opening bottles, oddly incompetent I found myself becoming. If the case was too heavy for me, inexplicably I found it so myself.

Women treated me with a frankness which was one of the happiest discoveries of my metamorphosis. But I also found men treating me more and more as junior. I discovered that even now men prefer women to be less informed, less able, less talkative, and certainly less self-centered than they are themselves; so I generally obliged.

Read the rest of this entry

Why Do I Care What Others Think?

Trumpeting our successes

Trumpeting our successes

Most people trumpet their successes and hide their failures.

When we win a race, a game, or an award, public recognition gives us a boost. We want to spread the word — and we hope that others will, too.

But when we fail at a project… or basic stair climbing… we hope no one sees the fall. And if they do, we hope they won’t gossip.

Rejection and humiliation make us think we’re no good.

But why do we care? Read the rest of this entry

Hand-Holding: More Intimate Than Sex?

HandholdingWhich is more intimate? Handholding or a hand job?

A young woman attending a college workshop on sexual assault was shocked to hear men say they thought handholding was more intimate than sex.

After all, they held hands with women they cared about. They could get a hand job — or even intercourse — from any old hookup.

Well, I’m perplexed, too.  Read the rest of this entry

Purse Turns Brave Men into Scaredy-Cats 

HandbagMen can act pretty courageous, but ask them to hold a purse and they become scaredy-cats.

A while back I tossed my handbag onto the back seat as I gave a couple of friends a ride. After parking I asked Mike to hand me my purse.

His hands sheepishly approached the worrisome object — and impulsively pulled away.

“How to grasp it?” he wondered. He considered the purse from different angles. Read the rest of this entry

Catcalled Men Don’t Like It, Either

Women catcalling men

Women catcalling men

If women catcalled men:

  • Damn boy! You look mo-no-ga-mous!
  • Hey baby! Hey baby! You hear me? Yeah, because you’re a good listener!
  • Oooooooo!! You look so emotionally stable!!!!
  • What you got under that shirt, sweetie? Bet it’s a good heart.
  • You look like a real mess. Let me fix you!

You can see the live version here: Read the rest of this entry

Nice Guys Are A Turnoff?

Feminist Ryan Gosling

Feminist Ryan Gosling

A lot of guys complain that being nice kills off the feminine libido.

But that doesn’t make sense to me because I’m only attracted to nice guys. So are my friends.

And plenty of women are attracted to these nice guys: Read the rest of this entry

More Suicide in “Values Voters” States

Your values are killing us

Your values are killing us

Values voter.

That’s what you’re called if you vote your principles on gay rights and reproductive rights.

So long as you vote anti-gay and anti-choice, anyway.

Really?

Are those the only values? And are they good ones?  Read the rest of this entry

Women Want Casual Sex? Yes and No

Women want casual sex as much as men, says one study. No they don’t, says another.

Which is it?

Maybe you’ve heard of this project: strangers approach students on college campuses and propose a one night stand or a short-term fling. Women almost always decline, but a lot of men accept.

Standard conclusion: evidence supports evolutionary psychology which claims women are picky, wanting faithful men with good genes, who will provide for their children. Men, on the other hand, will have sex with as many women as possible to better “spread their seed.”

But wait. Another study found that women were as likely to accept casual offers as men. So long as the possible partners were Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. Read the rest of this entry

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