Blog Archives

Women Dress Sexy To Wield Power Over Me

sexy woman walkingMen sometimes complain that women walk down the street, lookin’ sexy, just to gain power over them.

I can see how sexy ladies gain the power to get a man of her choosing. But I suspect that’s not what they mean. So I asked: What sort of power is that, exactly?

The answers goes something like this:  Read the rest of this entry

What’s Wrong With Objectification?

obectification 1I can’t appreciate an attractive woman without objectifying her? Because I don’t see her as a whole person? Because I don’t know her likes and dislikes? Her hopes and dreams? If she owns a dog?

A man asked me that question when I made a distinction between “sex object” and “sexy.”

Sexual objectification isn’t about being sexy or sexual so much as being sexy for someone else while you don’t matter. Read the rest of this entry

How Sex Creates Gender

Sex creates gender

Sex creates gender

Sex — the verb, and everything surrounding it — helps create gender.

Like when some guys discourage other guys from relationships, and pressure random sex.

What’s that got to do with gender? What it means to be a woman or a man? Read the rest of this entry

The Most Important Thing For a Woman: Be Hot

Las Vegas billboard

Las Vegas billboard

Many young women think that the most important thing is to be hot. And in a very narrow way.

It’s no wonder. They’re bombarded by narrowly sexy images.

Go to Google Images and type “sexy images” or “sexy fantasies.” About 99% of the pics will be of women.

What? Men aren’t sexy?

And why do they all look alike. Isn’t variety the spice of life?

Go to Las Vegas and take a look at the billboards. About 99% will be sexy ladies. Read the rest of this entry

Objectification & Male Self-Esteem

man objectifying womanWhy do men objectify women?

Jason Gavis asked men that question on his Facebook page and wrote about their replies for The Good Men Project. Here’s one answer he got:

For me it’s about seeking approval… the most fun and exciting and ego gratifying times in my life have been when I have embraced it and danced with it.

This reminded me of a woman who said (more like complained) that her guy seemed to get an ego-boost whenever a woman he ogled noticed him.

So I’m wondering why this is.  Read the rest of this entry

Gay Porn Stars Have More Fun

Why do women watch gay porn?

Why do women watch gay porn?

Why do women watch gay porn in large numbers if they don’t find penises arousing?

That’s what “Claire” wondered. Read the rest of this entry

Women Aren’t Visual? It Depends

Marky Mark

Marky Mark

You say that most women don’t find the penis visually arousing. Really? I, personally, find the penis arousing… Do you have any studies to back up your statement?

That’s a question from “Claire.” Read the rest of this entry

Caitlyn Jenner: More Than Sexy?

Caitlyn Jenner

Caitlyn Jenner

We rejoice at Caitlyn Jenner’s courage and happiness as she transitions, bodily, to womanhood.

But as she “came out” so did some disturbing truths about how we value women, says Rhonda Garelick in a New York Times piece. In a Vanity Fair spread,

Ms. Jenner poses in skintight dresses, a cinched black lace corset and two different gold evening gowns … She lounges on a sofa, peers into mirrors or reclines with her head thrown back, eyes closed… (appearing) languid and glamorous, her body still and on display rather than performing any activity…

This seems less the liberation of a true self than a reminder of the straitjacket requirements of acceptable, desirable womanhood.

Read the rest of this entry

Making Peace With My Big Boobs

Actress, Christina Hendricks

The well-endowed actress, Christina Hendricks

I thought that with cleavage came power. But as my cleavage amassed, I found the opposite to be true. My ample cups seemed to hint at certain unpleasant possibilities. Like, maybe I was dumb. Maybe I was slutty. Maybe I liked it when people gawked at my breasts, and when the guy driving that van rolled down the window to say “nice tits, love” as I walked past in my school uniform.


That’s from Chloe Pantazi who wrote a piece for Salon entitled, “My boobs, my burden.” Read the rest of this entry

Want To Be Objectified? Careful What You Wish For

Sexy David Beckham

Sexy David Beckham

I know women find fit men sexy, but I believe that is the wrong word in a way. If a woman can’t cum from just looking at the male body, then I don’t see that as sexy. Sexy to me means you’re deserving of someone’s desire or orgasm. Most guys are oblivious to the fact that most girls don’t get that aroused from looking at their abs, muscles and penis.

That’s from Eric U. We recently heard from him when I posted another of his comments, wishing that women objectified men.

Be careful what you wish for. Read the rest of this entry

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