We rejoice at Caitlyn Jenner’s courage and happiness as she transitions, bodily, to womanhood.
Ms. Jenner poses in skintight dresses, a cinched black lace corset and two different gold evening gowns … She lounges on a sofa, peers into mirrors or reclines with her head thrown back, eyes closed… (appearing) languid and glamorous, her body still and on display rather than performing any activity…
This seems less the liberation of a true self than a reminder of the straitjacket requirements of acceptable, desirable womanhood.
I thought that with cleavage came power. But as my cleavage amassed, I found the opposite to be true. My ample cups seemed to hint at certain unpleasant possibilities. Like, maybe I was dumb. Maybe I was slutty. Maybe I liked it when people gawked at my breasts, and when the guy driving that van rolled down the window to say “nice tits, love” as I walked past in my school uniform.
I know women find fit men sexy, but I believe that is the wrong word in a way. If a woman can’t cum from just looking at the male body, then I don’t see that as sexy. Sexy to me means you’re deserving of someone’s desire or orgasm. Most guys are oblivious to the fact that most girls don’t get that aroused from looking at their abs, muscles and penis.
Be careful what you wish for. Read the rest of this entry
Women do find men sexy. But we don’t objectify and fetishize their body parts. Not too many of us, anyway.
And so Playgirl goes bankrupt while a plethora of “girlie” magazines thrive.
Yet in some places women’s bodies aren’t fetishized, either. Like in tribal societies where women walk around wearing the equivalent of a G-string. And no one cares.
That clues us in to why male body parts aren’t fetishized. Read the rest of this entry
Elizabeth Hall Magill @ Yo Mama has asked the same question. And she wonders how women can better appreciate the male form, without objectifying them. Here’s an excerpt from one of her posts (with permission).
So—where does that leave a woman’s gaze? Read the rest of this entry
By Eric U
As a man I was once oblivious to my image, as if it didn’t matter. When viewing porn or having sex it was all about how the woman looked and whether I was giving her pleasure.
But then I started working out, in part, to be seen as sexy, to make women stop and stare and talk to me.
I did attain the sexy, fit look, with abs and muscles. But women never came “hootin and hollerin.”
So I started searching for what turns women on. Everything said they liked “broad shoulders, forearms, back muscles.” Yet it wasn’t working.
You’re not going out dressed like that!
With those words, parents seek to protect their daughters from objectification: being seen as one-dimensional “things” that exist to titillate men.
But the attitude could help to create objectification.
Some guys think girls flaunt skin to gain power and superiority over men.
But most do it because “hotness” so often measures a woman’s worth. And a girl likes to feel good about herself.
So plenty of young women feel pressed to put on the act, even if it feels awkward and overexposed.
I’ve created a string of thoughts that come from my women students, Colbie Caillat’s “Try” and Ashley Judd’s response to chiding over her “puffy” face:
* * *
An old boyfriend told me that I wasn’t as attractive as other girls. I asked him why he didn’t think so. He said,
I don’t know. You’re always all covered up. Maybe you’d look more attractive in a cocktail dress. You don’t open your clothes and let men in.
• Piece of tail
• Piece of ass
• Piece of “that”
That’s how a sexually attractive woman might be described.
Well, “attractive woman” is an overstatement. Attractive body part, maybe.
The whole woman isn’t wanted. Just a piece of her. Read the rest of this entry