Blog Archives

The guy should always pay?

A young man and woman are out on a first date, and everything is going swimmingly. That is, until the check comes and the man’s card gets declined. With no cash and a bad credit card, what’s a guy to do?

Those words are from Tarnished Sophia, commenting on a scene from the ABC television show “What Would You Do?”

TS points out that the woman could have paid, or that people could have suggested that she pay. But no one does. She goes on:

But wait…it takes two to tango, and two people definitely ate the lunch and desert from this meal. Yet time after time the scenario runs it’s course without a single onlooker taking a moment to remind the gal that she has a wallet of her own. Instead, different men and couples voluntarily pay for this broke Romeo and his cheap Juliet. (Except for one segment, where no one offers to help, the woman leaves, and the man is left to wash dishes to pay off the meal.) Throughout the episode, female onlookers are heard to say that “this is his last date” and they “felt sorry for the girl”.

So what do I think?

The sort of sociology I do looks at how society gets in our heads — so much that no one feels like they have any choice outside of social scripts. That seems to be in play here. Read the rest of this entry

Rape: Not as bad as seeming prejudiced

Children raped, trafficked

Children raped, trafficked

Around 1,400 children were beaten, raped, tortured and trafficked for over a decade in the lower-class town of Rotherham, in north England.

As authorities stood by. Or fined parents of the missing children for wasting their time.

Some of the girls were splattered with gasoline and told they’d be set afire if they reported the abuse. Some were forced to watch other kids being raped. Others were told that their parents or siblings would be killed or gang raped if they went to authorities, according to the New York Times.  Read the rest of this entry

What If Men Menstruated?

A visit from Aunt Flo

A visit from Aunt Flo

Society has taught us that a girl on her period is weak, bitchy and occasionally psychotic… That time of the month is basically a pissed-off uterus.

Stacey, a student of mine, made that observation. She continued to talk about her shame-filled sister:  Read the rest of this entry

Nude Men Seem Less Intelligent

Justin Timberlake, showing some skin

Justin Timberlake, showing some skin

The more skin women reveal, the less men see them as intelligent or empowered.

Instead, nudity promotes the notion that women are sensitive, “feeling” creatures.

Turns out the perception runs both ways with women seeing men as less intelligent and less competent when they show skin, too. In fact, simply “taking off a sweater — or otherwise revealing flesh — can significantly change the way a mind is perceived” say researchers.

And as psychologist, Kurt Gray of the University of Maryland observed: Read the rest of this entry

Before Killing, Pistorius Resembled Abuser

Reeva Steenkamp, Oscar Pistorius

Reeva Steenkamp, Oscar Pistorius

South Africa’s Olympian sprinter, Oscar Pistorius, stands accused of murdering his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp. She had locked herself in the bathroom of their apartment when he shot her. He claims he’d mistaken her for an intruder. A verdict is due next week.

I can’t say for sure that he’s a murderer, but abusive men are more likely than others to kill their mates. And he definitely sounds like an abuser, as suggested by text messages sent in the weeks before the killing.

The warning signs could caution others in similar circumstances. Read the rest of this entry

Men Have Torpedos; Women Have “No-No’s”

A Rhetorische Torpedo

A Rhetorische Torpedo

By Raissa Mbassa

Have you ever thought about slang for our privates?

Some of my guy friends call theirs a “pocket rocket” or a “torpedo.”

Let’s see, a rocket is an incendiary weapon, while a torpedo is a tube-shaped bomb that’s fired underwater. Both cause tremendous destruction to whatever they’re aimed at.

It’s all painted in glorification. Victory. A magic stick of supernatural powers. A man’s best friend.  Read the rest of this entry

Moms Jailed Cause Childcare Unaffordable. GOP Superego Hides Solutions

Kids playing in a park

Kids playing in a park

Poor moms face no-win situations where conservatives are concerned.

Moms shouldn’t work outside the home, because kids need them every second.

But POOR moms SHOULD work outside the home.

Which leads to another double-blind:

Poor moms must work outside the home, even when they can’t afford childcare.  Read the rest of this entry

A Year Without Mirrors

Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall

Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall

Imagine living a year without seeing your reflection in a mirror.

That’s what Kjerstin Gruys did when her engagement transformed her from intelligent grad student to “bridezilla.”

You’ve heard of the “bikini body.” Well, Kjerstin fretted over not having an adequate “bride body” in time for her wedding — if ever.

As she viewed dress after dress in the scrutiny of dressing room mirrors, and through the mind’s eye of her imagined wedding day — and after purchasing three different dresses — she knew she had a problem. One which echoed an earlier eating disorder.

So she pledged to give up mirrors for a year, in hopes of regaining her real values.  Read the rest of this entry

Shackling elephants is sad. Shackling women is hot.

The PETA ad below deplores cruelty to elephants.

Yet cruelty to women seems okay.

PETA: cruelty to women vs animals

PETA: cruelty to women vs animals

Animal cruelty depresses me and creates a lot of anxiety. So I’m with PETA on that.

But their advertising often troubles me.  Read the rest of this entry

Red sex is for girls; Blue is for boys? 

Red sex, Blue sex

Red sex, Blue sex

When you think of red state sexuality, images of Bible believers saving themselves for marriage — or at least keeping their numbers down — may come to mind.

No wonder plenty of Southerners favor pastors and politicians who preach sex after marriage, abstinence education, no contraception, and shuttering Planned Parenthood.

And blue state sexuality? Full of “friends with benefits” and casual hookups, right?  Read the rest of this entry

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