By Erica Dalton
My brunette, Jewish mom was happy to have a blonde, blue-eyed daughter.
But then, she grew up being told that what’s desirable was the opposite of her. Sexy was blonde, from Cinderella to Grace Kelly to Marilyn Monroe.
Even though my mom grew to love herself, I guess she was glad that I would not have to feel unsexy.
Sure, men are privileged by being male, but attractive females are privileged, too. You are noticed more. You’re more popular. You get attractive guys.
If you don’t mind the stigmas attached to “sexy” you can milk it for all it’s worth. Read the rest of this entry
By Caitie Adler
In my kindergarten mind girls were beautiful and boys were tough. And since girls were beautiful, I was beautiful.
By middle school things looked a lot more complicated.
I’d learned that girls should be pretty. And I tried to be. But there was a downside. Read the rest of this entry
Imagine living a year without seeing your reflection in a mirror.
That’s what Kjerstin Gruys did when her engagement transformed her from intelligent grad student to “bridezilla.”
You’ve heard of the “bikini body.” Well, Kjerstin fretted over not having an adequate “bride body” in time for her wedding — if ever.
As she viewed dress after dress in the scrutiny of dressing room mirrors, and through the mind’s eye of her imagined wedding day — and after purchasing three different dresses — she knew she had a problem. One which echoed an earlier eating disorder.
So she pledged to give up mirrors for a year, in hopes of regaining her real values. Read the rest of this entry
Check out the side-by-side comparisons that show how strange it is when women and men get the same sex object treatment:
Women don’t seem to objectify men the way men do women.
It’s not that we’re any better. We just aren’t bombarded by a steady stream of sexualized and fetishized men and man-parts — that unconsciously seep into our brains. Thus, when men are turned into sex objects, it can look ridiculous.
But why’s objectification a problem? Read the rest of this entry
By Victoria King
Man clothes, dark, heavy makeup, scarcely a trace of femininity: that was me in high school. I hated the notion that girls had to be pretty and were valued only for their looks. I wanted people to appreciate me for being fun, funny and a good debater.
I felt like women made themselves out to be pretty idiots because they were naturally shallow and stupid.
And envious. I hated the competition between females, so I looked as weird as possible hoping no one would see me as a threat. Read the rest of this entry
Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.
Bunch of cows!
That’s what Rush Limbaugh wants everyone to think, anyway.
I watched him voice those words as I joined my class in watching Jackson Katz’s classic film, Tough Guise.
I could only wonder, “Who’s ugly? Who’s a cow?”
If I were Rush, I wouldn’t be inviting unflattering comparisons to yours truly. Read the rest of this entry
What do people want from sex? Most want pleasure and closeness. But they don’t act like it.
Instead, they’re preoccupied with how they look, what their partner is thinking, how they’re performing, and what is “normal.”
That’s what Dr. Marty Klein, a certified sex therapist and sociologist, says in his book, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex and How to Get It. Read the rest of this entry