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Using Men for Money, Sex and Self-Esteem 

self-esteemBy Adriana Martinez 

Life holds lessons. Some, you must learn first-hand.

As a young teen I had a crush on my brother’s friends. Once, when we were hanging out, my dad ordered me back in the house.

“What were you doing out there with them?”

“Just hanging out.”

“If you keep hanging out with boys you’ll grow up to be a slut.” Read the rest of this entry

The Hairy Gender Gap

However hair is styled, it says something about gender. Let’s take a look at recent Western history.

Men and women both have long hair, but…

In the 18th-century men and women both kept their hair long — but women’s stylings were more elaborate and ornate, as with King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette (as played by Kirsten Dunst and Jason Schwartzman, pictured here):

Marie Antoinette and King Louis XVI

Marie Antoinette and King Louis XVI

Read the rest of this entry

Making Peace With My Big Boobs

Actress, Christina Hendricks

The well-endowed actress, Christina Hendricks

I thought that with cleavage came power. But as my cleavage amassed, I found the opposite to be true. My ample cups seemed to hint at certain unpleasant possibilities. Like, maybe I was dumb. Maybe I was slutty. Maybe I liked it when people gawked at my breasts, and when the guy driving that van rolled down the window to say “nice tits, love” as I walked past in my school uniform.

Not!

That’s from Chloe Pantazi who wrote a piece for Salon entitled, “My boobs, my burden.” Read the rest of this entry

Women Must Be Fit; Men Can Be Flabby

Can men be valued even if their bodies appear flabby and “gross”? What about women? Can they be? Maybe. But men may have more leeway.

While looking thru the archives at Sociological Images, I ran into this. The pictures are from a few years back but they’re still relevant. Dr. Lisa Wade makes some interesting points here.

***

By Lisa Wade @ Sociological Images

Mercedes DeM. sent in this Vanity Fair cover (for April 2009)…

pu1p3ehapkkz1o5pwwcpbyn5o1_5001

…spoofing this previous coverRead the rest of this entry

Want To Be Objectified? Careful What You Wish For

Sexy David Beckham

Sexy David Beckham

I know women find fit men sexy, but I believe that is the wrong word in a way. If a woman can’t cum from just looking at the male body, then I don’t see that as sexy. Sexy to me means you’re deserving of someone’s desire or orgasm. Most guys are oblivious to the fact that most girls don’t get that aroused from looking at their abs, muscles and penis.

That’s from Eric U. We recently heard from him when I posted another of his comments, wishing that women objectified men.

Be careful what you wish for. Read the rest of this entry

Women Gazing At Men

Gazing at men

Lately I’ve been asking why women don’t get so excited by naked men

Elizabeth Hall Magill @ Yo Mama has asked the same question. And she wonders how women can better appreciate the male form, without objectifying them. Here’s an excerpt from one of her posts (with permission).

So—where does that leave a woman’s gaze? Read the rest of this entry

I Wish Women Saw Me As A Sex Object

Objectification side-by-side

In the video that this still illustrates, the girl comes across as sexy. The guy comes across as weird.

By Eric U

As a man I was once oblivious to my image, as if it didn’t matter. When viewing porn or having sex it was all about how the woman looked and whether I was giving her pleasure.

But then I started working out, in part, to be seen as sexy, to make women stop and stare and talk to me.

I did attain the sexy, fit look, with abs and muscles. But women never came “hootin and hollerin.”

So I started searching for what turns women on. Everything said they liked “broad shoulders, forearms, back muscles.” Yet it wasn’t working.

So I googled what type of porn women watch and found things like this: “Straight but masterbate to the thought of lesbian!” Read the rest of this entry

My Life in the Fat Lane

fatBy Carol Lynn Langdon

Nothing about me matters — except how I look.

I’m plus size.

I have big boobs and a tummy, thunder thighs and a humongous ass. Seats are almost always too small for my butt.

Still, I do yoga and sports. I like doing my hair and makeup and being flirty. Or doing dirty work or drinking disgusting beer. I also love kids. My friends would call me a sweetheart, a completely honest and wholesome friend.

But few try to get to know the real me.  Read the rest of this entry

Modesty Objectifies Me

modesty

Her body is all about sex.

You’re not going out dressed like that!

With those words, parents seek to protect their daughters from objectification: being seen as one-dimensional “things” that exist to titillate men.

But the attitude could help to create objectification.

A conservative Christian who calls herself Sierra says that a preoccupation with modesty had once objectified her.  Read the rest of this entry

You Don’t Have to Give It All Away

Colbie Caillat

Colbie Caillat

Some guys think girls flaunt skin to gain power and superiority over men.

But most do it because “hotness” so often measures a woman’s worth. And a girl likes to feel good about herself.

So plenty of young women feel pressed to put on the act, even if it feels awkward and overexposed.

I’ve created a string of thoughts that come from my women students, Colbie Caillat’s “Try” and Ashley Judd’s response to chiding over her “puffy” face:

* * *

An old boyfriend told me that I wasn’t as attractive as other girls. I asked him why he didn’t think so. He said,

I don’t know. You’re always all covered up. Maybe you’d look more attractive in a cocktail dress. You don’t open your clothes and let men in.

Read the rest of this entry

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