By Erica Dalton
My brunette, Jewish mom was happy to have a blonde, blue-eyed daughter.
But then, she grew up being told that what’s desirable was the opposite of her. Sexy was blonde, from Cinderella to Grace Kelly to Marilyn Monroe.
Even though my mom grew to love herself, I guess she was glad that I would not have to feel unsexy.
Sure, men are privileged by being male, but attractive females are privileged, too. You are noticed more. You’re more popular. You get attractive guys.
If you don’t mind the stigmas attached to “sexy” you can milk it for all it’s worth. Read the rest of this entry
By Caitie Adler
In my kindergarten mind girls were beautiful and boys were tough. And since girls were beautiful, I was beautiful.
By middle school things looked a lot more complicated.
I’d learned that girls should be pretty. And I tried to be. But there was a downside. Read the rest of this entry
Imagine living a year without seeing your reflection in a mirror.
That’s what Kjerstin Gruys did when her engagement transformed her from intelligent grad student to “bridezilla.”
You’ve heard of the “bikini body.” Well, Kjerstin fretted over not having an adequate “bride body” in time for her wedding — if ever.
As she viewed dress after dress in the scrutiny of dressing room mirrors, and through the mind’s eye of her imagined wedding day — and after purchasing three different dresses — she knew she had a problem. One which echoed an earlier eating disorder.
So she pledged to give up mirrors for a year, in hopes of regaining her real values. Read the rest of this entry
Check out the side-by-side comparisons that show how strange it is when women and men get the same sex object treatment:
Women don’t seem to objectify men the way men do women.
It’s not that we’re any better. We just aren’t bombarded by a steady stream of sexualized and fetishized men and man-parts — that unconsciously seep into our brains. Thus, when men are turned into sex objects, it can look ridiculous.
But why’s objectification a problem? Read the rest of this entry
By Victoria King
Man clothes, dark, heavy makeup, scarcely a trace of femininity: that was me in high school. I hated the notion that girls had to be pretty and were valued only for their looks. I wanted people to appreciate me for being fun, funny and a good debater.
I felt like women made themselves out to be pretty idiots because they were naturally shallow and stupid.
And envious. I hated the competition between females, so I looked as weird as possible hoping no one would see me as a threat. Read the rest of this entry
Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.
Bunch of cows!
That’s what Rush Limbaugh wants everyone to think, anyway.
I watched him voice those words as I joined my class in watching Jackson Katz’s classic film, Tough Guise.
I could only wonder, “Who’s ugly? Who’s a cow?”
If I were Rush, I wouldn’t be inviting unflattering comparisons to yours truly. Read the rest of this entry
What do people want from sex? Most want pleasure and closeness. But they don’t act like it.
Instead, they’re preoccupied with how they look, what their partner is thinking, how they’re performing, and what is “normal.”
That’s what Dr. Marty Klein, a certified sex therapist and sociologist, says in his book, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex and How to Get It. Read the rest of this entry
When you have breasts that are larger than “average” (whatever that really means) even people you don’t know—males, in particular—automatically assume they have permission to comment on your boobs—“Nice tits! BIG BREASTED! Playboy-like, even”—and can touch them just because they feel like it…
Because of the way my body looked, some of my classmates thought I was sexually experienced even though I’d never been kissed yet. My date, whom I’d asked to a Sadie Hawkins Dance, stayed a polite arm’s length away from me all night, later explaining, “Girls like you probably want more than I’m ready to give.” I’d just been hoping that maybe he would hold my hand.
An excerpt from “Growing Up Like Skipper: On Breasts & Objectification”
This post from “Stories from the Belly” might surprise both envious women and men who have mistaken notions about how larger-breasted women experience their bodies.
Read more here:
Originally posted on Stories From the Belly:
My first Barbie was a Growing Up Skipper doll. Skipper is Barbie’s younger sister.
A gift from one of my aunts during the 1970’s, my Skipper doll wasn’t an ordinary doll. Living up to her name, she could “grow” from girl to young woman in an instant. All you had to do was take her arms and wind them forward in a circular motion. Not only would she grow taller but her bust would get bigger. Wind her arms in the opposite direction and all of her would shrink back to original size.
At age 6, all I knew was that I had a “2-for-1” doll. Growing Up Skipper even came with an extra outfit for her older self to wear, and she had a tank top that doubled as a bathing suit. Now, when I look back I am able to see how this doll was sexualized—just like when…
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