Am I “Doing It” Right?

Hannah and Adam from HBO's Girls

Hannah and Adam from HBO’s Girls

HBO’s “Girls” is an exploration of young women’s sexuality today, so I was struck by a scene that the New York Times’ Frank Bruni described as being all about what “he” wants “her” to do:

(“Hannah’s”) back is to her boyfriend, who seems to regard her as an inconveniently loquacious halfway point between partner and prop, and her concern is whether she’s correctly following instructions.

‘So I can just stay like this for a little while?’ she asks. ‘Do you need me to move more?’

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Witch Burning = Misogyny

witchesLast October, my neighbor stretched synthetic cobwebs among the branches of her tree. Against this creepy backdrop, she hung a broomstick and a badly made female figure, clearly a witch. The sight made me wince.

How did we evolve to find this display lightly amusing? Our forbearers did hang women from trees.

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Sexy Men Can Seem Gay

Men in Speedos. Sexy? Or gay?

Men in Speedos. Sexy? Or gay?

Imagine men in Speedos plastered all over billboards, drawing your attention to this product or that.

Sexy? Or does it seem kind of gay?

A lot of women think it seems kind of gay. But why is that? Read the rest of this entry

ED: The Best Thing to Happen to Intimacy

intimate sexualityBy Michael J. Russer @ The Good Men Project

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is the best thing to happen to me and my intimacy.

There, I said it. Actually, I say it a lot. On radio, TV, print, online and occasionally gatherings (it’s a great way to quiet a room down if things get rowdy). If some guy had made the same claim to me just two years ago, I would have thought he was either insane or just messing with me. Being fully impotent (i.e. can’t get it up to save my life, even with the pills) is not something most men would be willing to discuss. Or for that matter, even comfortable listening to men talk about. The way some men react, you would think that my “condition” is contagious.  Read the rest of this entry

Abuse: Shifting Us To Radio Silence


Thought-provoking post for domestic violence awareness month:

Originally posted on coffee and a blank page:

The signs of domestic violence are not always outward.

Sometimes, instead of mysterious bruises or inexplicable fractures, abuse looks more like an opinionated writer slowly shifting to radio silence.

I learned last week of yet another person who met me through my then-husband, and who was convinced — because of how reserved and distant I always seemed — that I disliked her immensely. And I’ve noticed that when Facebook shows me “memories” of what I posted in past years, any comments I made prior to 2011 are rarely a full sentence in length…and often so vague even I can’t tell what I was trying to say.

FB screenshots from 2009 I mean, c’mon. What are you even talking about, Isak.

Now, I can’t say for certain (and feel free to correct me, if you think I’ve got this wrong!), but I doubt most people who have met me post-divorce — or who knew me…

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Treated Kindly, He Became Kind

Rick Genest

Rick Genest

By Lisa Wade, Ph.D. @ Sociological Images

Studies show that people will often act in ways consistent with how they are treated.

Therefore, treating someone according to a stereotype will likely produce behavior that confirms the stereotype. This is called a self-fulfilling stereotype.

Consider Rick Genest. Read the rest of this entry

Sexual Fluidity, Images & Biology

Sexual fluidity

Sexual fluidity

Why are women more sexually fluid in the Western world today?

Here’s one theory from University of Utah professor, Lisa Diamond’s book, Sexual Fluidity. Read the rest of this entry

Taylor Swift V Ryan Adams: Who Wore It Better?

Taylor v Ryan: Who wore it better?

Taylor v Ryan: Who wore it better?

Ryan Adams totally copied Taylor Swift’s “1989” album — including the title. And now there’s controversy over to who deserves credit for the “depth” and “complexity” of Adams’ cover?

Okay, Ryan didn’t merely copy her. He did bring his own style to her music and lyrics.

But really? Maybe he deserves ALL the credit for his album’s profundity? Read the rest of this entry

I’ve Never Felt Sexual Desire

Asexual pride

Asexual pride

By Courtney Nahmens

I’m asexual with no desire for sex.

I’m also aromantic, feeling no desire for romance.

I do understand what is considered sexy, sexual innuendo, and words surrounding sexuality like whore, tease, sensual, etc. I understand the language and actions surrounding sex.

I just don’t feel aroused or any differently in the presence of sexual content.  Read the rest of this entry

Sex Objects Who Don’t Enjoy Sex

Self-objectification, defined.

Laci Green defines self-objectification.

Sexual objectification can have its perks in the bedroom, with breast fetishes and butt fetishes heightening men’s arousal.

But surprisingly, it can have the opposite effect, harming both men’s and women’s enjoyment. And in many ways. Here’s one: self-objectification. Read the rest of this entry

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