Category Archives: psychology

Should Women Give Men The Porn Star Experience?

The porn star experience?

The porn star experience?

A lot of guys have come to expect P.S.E. [the “Porn-Star Experience”] … and plenty of women are more than happy to oblige. A few might enjoy it, but for most it’s harrowing. I think there’s a fear that if they can’t make it happen, their boyfriend will retreat online.

Read the rest of this entry

Who Wants To Be A Piece Of Tail?

A piece of that?

Want a piece of that?

• Piece of tail

• Piece of ass

• Piece of “that”

That’s how a sexually attractive woman might be described.

Well, “attractive woman” is an overstatement. Attractive body part, maybe.

The whole woman isn’t wanted. Just a piece of her.  Read the rest of this entry

Sexy Women Only Want Attention of Sexy Men

Blake Lively walking down the street. (She's an actress, she probably wants everyone to notice her.)

Blake Lively walking down the street. (She’s an actress, she probably wants everyone to notice her.)

Sexy women don’t want attention from me. They only care about attractive men.

Guys sometimes complain about that on my blog.

To the extent that this may be true, the sexy woman and the unsexy man are actually just two sides of the same coin.

She may only care about sexy men.

But he probably only cares about sexy women. Read the rest of this entry

Relationship Terms That Dehumanize Women

By  @ The Good Men Project

Like most American boys, I grew up knowing dozens of terms that objectify women’s bodies and diminish women by reducing them to just a single part. It wasn’t until my 20s that someone taught me, and I started to understand, just how dehumanizing and common all this was. Jean Kilbourne’s Killing Us Softly videos have been particularly eye-opening.

Meanwhile, we do a very good job of dismissing relationships as unimportant in American culture, even though most guys value them very much. These expressions below need to go the way of the dodo. And yes, some of these could be applied directly to men by women or have easy parallels. Those expressions need to go away too. Read the rest of this entry

I Can’t Stop Staring At Other Women

He's all eyes.

He’s all eyes.

Looking at other women has become a big problem for me.

I want to learn how to stop. I mean no harm, but it upsets my wife and hurts her. She says I lose touch with reality and become a different person — and don’t even notice her.

That’s from a 42-year-old man whose been married 16 years. He’s totally satisfied with his wife, he says, and has no interest in anyone else.

But he feels he has no control over his ogling. Read the rest of this entry

Who Wears the Pants?

Men and women: a history of costume, gender, and power

Men and women: a history of costume, gender, and power

Pants symbolize power — partly because men wore them long before women dared try them on, and men have historically held power.

But pants empower in practical ways, too. Like allowing much more freedom to move.

Once upon a time, women wore heavy skirts and petticoats that were bogged down with wire machinery. So stair climbing required care to prevent tripping over skirts. Even sitting could be tricky, lest a hoop skirt rise and reveal all.

Big skirts meant horses were mounted “side saddle,” allowing women to exert only “gentle control.”

Meanwhile, running and biking were difficult, which limited a woman’s power and independence, as well. Read the rest of this entry

Men v Women: How Flexible Is Orientation?

Multiple partnersWomen’s sexual orientation is more fluid than men’s, says University of Utah professor, Lisa Diamond. Well, women have a basic orientation, she says, but it seems to be a bit easier for women to crossover. For both cultural and biological reasons.

Research from the University of Montréal seems to bear that out. The study had simply looked at how common different sex fantasies were. But comparing men and women, you see more fluidity among females. Read the rest of this entry

Women Are Passive? Think Again

Rosie the Riveter

Rosie the Riveter

Most of us think women are more passive than men. It’s natural, right? Men’s testosterone makes them tough and assertive.

Think again.

Actually, it’s hard to untangle the effects of biology and society.

In fact, it’s hard to untangle the effects of biology, alone.

Testosterone makes men aggressive?

Yes, men have more testosterone. But:  Read the rest of this entry

Cross-Dressing’s Erotic Side

Grayson Perry-sexy

Grayson Perry, in drag

Being a transvestite is a complex cocktail of motivations. It’s different for everyone, but there’s often a strong sexual component to cross-dressing, although trannies sometimes find it hard to admit this. I feel it’s like the elephant in the room. I feel it’s really there, but nobody’s talking about it.

Maybe it’s this erotic dimension which is the hardest part for others to accept.

That’s what artist and cross-dresser, Grayson Perry thinks.

“Vivienne,” over at Bluestocking Blue began blogging to better understand why “she” feels compelled to cross-dress male-to-female.  Read the rest of this entry

Confidence: A People Magnet

It works!

It works!

Confidence is a people magnet. It’s also good at drawing emotionally healthier people to you.

And, it’s healthy to have confidence even when you are alone.

But how do you get it?  Read the rest of this entry

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