About

GeorgiaGeorgia Platts is the author of BroadBlogs.

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology and I teach soc and women’s studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, California. I have also lectured at San Jose State University.

My expertise lies in the areas of psychology of women and social psychology.

I have also blogged for Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos and some of my pieces have been picked up by The AlterNet and Democratic Underground. I’ve also written an op-ed for the San Jose Mercury News.

I first became interested in the issues I talk about here when I started wondering why women so often uphold laws and social norms that oppress them — whether insisting, generally, that they don’t want equality, to upholding specific policies like restrictions on voting or driving, or supporting government control of women’s bodies. Or buying into media ideals that tell them they aren’t attractive unless they have a body type that does not exist in nature (skinny with big boobs).

As I studied more, I learned about how, unconsciously, society gets into our heads.

I also learned about “the social construction of reality.” Turns out, humans have very few instincts — a general need for food and sex, for instance — but how those needs manifest varies greatly from culture to culture.

And as it turns out, sexism puts a real damper on women’s sexual interest and enjoyment.

Hmmmm, sex is socially constructed?

And so are notions of beauty. Which explains why something that does not exist in nature is the current beauty ideal.

While there is a physical reality “out there,” what it means to people is made up in different ways in different times and places.

I am also interested in relationships and how women and men get along — or fail to — when they are raised in very different ways. (Through those very different ways gender is socially constructed.)

Social justice issues are also very important to me, whether gender, race, class, LGBTQ… Here I’m especially interested in how the ideas of the privileged and powerful become dominant and seem like “reality” while the perspectives of the disempowered and underprivileged disappear — often from themselves. (Remember, women often support policies that oppress them.)

I teach and blog because of my teachers, who have had a big impact on my life, whether in the classroom, in books, through song or online. I’ve been offered so much and I would like to give back… pay it forward.

When I’m not blogging I enjoy reading, biking, painting (oil), and hanging out with my Women’s Spirituality Group. Oh, and I’m a political junkie. So not surprisingly, I’m involved with various social justice groups, including RESULTS (anti-poverty: helping people to help themselves) and Common Cause (getting the corrupting influence of money out of politics).

I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband, Rob, and my cat, Ms. Felix.

  1. What feminists in the world today do you identify with? (For example, Hilary Clinton)

    • I like to think more in terms of who inspires me: Love Hillary, of course, but also Gloria Steinem, Naomi Wolfe, Audre Lorde, Irshad Manji, Carol Gilligan, Margaret Atwood, Tina Fey. Going back in time: Simone de Beauvoir, Margaret Sanger, Jane Adams, Abigail Adams, and Mary Wollstonecraft. Cannot forget Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton! Among men: Michael Kimmel, Michael Messner, John Stuart Mill, and Plato.

      Just to name a few.

      • I am not saying that I agree with this, but I have heard the argument that Hillary does not live up to be a radical feminist at all because she stood by her husband after he was disloyal. I think that her personal life is her own and that taking something that personal into account is not appropriate, however I am interested in hearing your views on this. Men like Tiger Woods and Bill Clinton are respected and admired, so when they do things like this, it sets a bad example for male admirers. Likewise when Hillary stood by her husband after his disloyalty, she was saying that his behavior was forgivable and not bad enough for her to leave him, thereby setting a bad example for her female supporters. This is just a thought, this is not necessarily a statement that I agree with, and I would like to hear your thoughts. Thanks :)

      • Hillary is certainly a strong feminist in her public life, in all of her work and accomplishments.

        Private life? At this point I’d forgotten the Monica Lewinsky thing. Thanks for reminding me. (Or not?)

        It’s complicated.

        I don’t like the way Bill and Tiger have behaved. And I’m not personally thrilled with standing by your man (and then there’s the irony of Hillary quoting the Tammy Wynett song). And it’s odd, because you’d expect that sort of behavior from women who can’t support themselves, but Hillary clearly can.

        So based on what I personally know about the situation, I’m not a supporter of that.

        At the same time, I don’t know what is/was going on with her and her marriage, so feel I can’t really judge her personal decision.

      • I do think if Hillary was truly being forgiving of Bill Clinton is between them, though I’m not thrilled when men act like such “horn dogs”. And, I’m male.

      • And I appreciate that.

  2. Well depending on what you define as feminists. Many of the modern women from your list it would appear your definition is left or liberal democratic women.

    From that list Hillary for sure. I worked my tail off to try and get her elected.

    Then you switch to Conservative women – I am with you on all of those we also agree on Jane Adams, Abigail Adams, and Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton and I would add Alice Paul of course.

    I think however we are going to disagree on my comtemporary picks: Sarah Palin, Jan Brewer, Carly Fiorina, Nikki Haley, Meg Whitman all appear to be Feminists. They all work- have families are strong and educated and I don’t see anything that keeps them from being feminists except some Democrats who insist they are not simply becasue they belong to the wrong party.

    So what is a feminist – a Democrat? That would be news to me an activist fighting for ERA and women’s rights for 50 years!

    • I agree that conservative women like Carly Fiorena and Meg Whitman are feminists. You’re also right that I prefer the liberal/progressive types since Dem’s are closer to me on matters of class, race, gay/lesbian rights…

  3. Ahhhh Gay and lesbian rights – I know some conservatives are not as liberal unfortunately on that one issue but then even Hillary stated she didn’t agree with same sex marriage so I am not sure that is enough to rule out more than half of the population of women as not being feminists? I am totally lost in regard to your statement about dems being closer to you on matters of class and race? Oh please explain? That appears to be a very hasty generalization that shocks me!

    WE may need to do a study on this. first off the great growth right now is in Independents where would the independent women fall? As a somewhat conservative Feminist who is FOR same sex marriage , ERA not at all a racist or classist – I am taken aback whenever liberal women make such a statement.
    i am also taken aback when Conservatives generalize about Liberal women and I give them hell also.

    When are we going to stop this? Maybe we need to examine what feminism really means? If it only means abortion, homosexuality and color – what about the majority of females – don’t they count?

    When we split up into sub cultures we are weakened- we are women first – not gay women – left women – colored women – we are women. When will we get that?

    Imagine The Majority United? I do and I am fighting like hell to get others to do the same. What a job – it’s like hearding cats! This is a study perhaps one such as yourself and one such as myself should collaborate on? That is if one really wants to get to it?

    Let’s study women- let’s study feminism- conservative and independent women are feminists- liberal women do not own the term and it is time we share the term/ all women deserve to be respected for their decisions rather than be diminished because of differences. What do you think? Is there room for these questions? Does anyone care to discuss this and possibly make peace?

    • I grew up in a Republican family. Cast my first vote for Ronald Reagan. Then I saw that Reagan and a GOP congress continually aligned with the rich, powerful, and privilaged more often than the Dems did. So I’ve become more aligned w/Dems over time.

  4. Me- I was a Dem- at 63 I was in the women’s movement of course- ERA etc. etc. Then I went Republican when you did – even went BA Christian ran for office twice as a Conservative till Perot came on the scene. Then I saw the light- or my light anyway- neither party represents the people and certainly not women. I became in INDY!

    I think for myself- I have been both and kept the best part of each and tossed away the worst part of each- I’d like to think I am a Hybred– heheheheheh! Woman enough to think for myself and know when I am being played and used.

    After what they did to Hillary – I knew along with millions of other women that had no respect for us. Some of us had the cahonas to tell then to screw off but some grovelled and gave in like battered wives and let them have their way and gave them their votes anyway! What did we teach our daughters about feminism? That a women can get more votes and still loose? That a woman can run and be called a Bitch and worse and no one will do a damned thing about it? That the race card can be used against her and every dirty trick in the book and Democracy can be abrogated and her own party will turn their backs? Did we teach our daughters that part of feminism is sticking with their party at all costs even after that party allowed the media to humiliate and degrade the former first lady with locker room jargon? Feminism in my book is what Alice paul and her ladies with her did! they turned against their own party – they went to jail – they stood up against the POTUS and they hung in jail cells for what they believed in and they did not quit.

    But that is just my definition of feminism– what so I know? I believe in all women and all their rights not just some women and some of their rights. Independent women are free to fight for all their rights without the incumbrance of a prty affiliation.

    Susan B. Anthony: “I never was surer of my position that no self-respecting woman should wish or work for the success of a party that ignores her political rights.”

    But you are into sociology not philosophy right?

  5. Hey there,
    I’m currently in your womens studies class and just spent the past three hours reading your blog. You have very interesting and true things to say about issues women face and I can not wait to hear more from you!

  6. Georgia – first off, I am thrilled to have come across your blog – thanks! I’m a writer and blogger living in Saudi Arabia and much of what I’ve found on your site resonates strongly with my own experiences and insights into this culture and Islamic feminism. I’m wondering if you’d be willing to let me repost a couple of your pieces over at SGIME. Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you – Lori (sandgetsinmyeyes-blog at yahoo.com

  7. Interesting blog!
    and dialogue on this page. I wonder – why do we have to align ourselves as ‘feminists?’ Why can’t we all just be humanists?

  8. Dear Georgia,
    Thank you for writing compelling posts. I am bookmarking your blog.
    Sincerely,
    Writing Career Coach Teresa LeYung Ryan writingcoachteresa.com
    Author of Love Made of Heart–inspires adult-children of mentally-ill parents to speak openly about the stigmas. LoveMadeOfHeart.com

    • Thanks Teresa! Your workbook on blogging was really helpful! I understand you’ve changed the title to “Build Your Name…. to Build Your Writer’s Platform & Fanbase In 22 Days.”

  9. I was wondering how a person enters into a career in Women’s Studies? To teach WS at a university do you need a PhD or will a Masters do? How competitive is securing a WS university job? Are there any non-teaching jobs in the field at all? What are the requirements of getting into a WS higher degree (not just minor or certificate) program? Do you know which schools offer Masters/PhD in WS? I tried to find the answers online, but didn’t really know where to turn. Thanks in advance!

    • To teach in women’s studies, it greatly helps to have a Ph.D. (must-have for university level teaching, but you’re more likely to get a position at the community college level, too.)

      You can major in anything before getting a higher degree in women’s studies. My own Ph.D is in sociology, with an emphasis on women’s issues. (My undergrad was in business!)

      If you’re having a hard time finding programs in women’s studies, you can always major in sociology, w/emphasis on gender/women’s issues. That may actually be your best bet for university teaching. Most people I know who teach women’s studies have a Ph.D. in sociology.

      UC Santa Cruz is particularly great on women’s studies, though.

      But here’s a link that can guide you on women’s studies programs in U.S. http://www.artemisguide.com/

      I didn’t find getting a job to be too difficult. However, w/budget cuts in CA right now, I’m sure it would be much more difficult. In CA there is a lot of job insecurity in the state college system at all levels (UC, state, community college). If you’re in another state, you may be much better off.

      Careers in women’s studies include: human resources, social work (need MSW), health, teaching, government, counseling and community work such as sexual assault prevention and rape crises councilor.

      Here are a few specific jobs I know people who’ve majored in women’s studies have: educate school children on interpersonal violence, YWCA case manager for battered women, program director for discussion group for same-sex parents, family coach providing conflict management for families, law clerk to DC Superior Court Judge, program manager @ Nat’l Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, founded Women’s Business Initiative, fundraiser for non-profits, victims services, nursing home admin.

      Additionally, women’s studies can prepare students who seek to go into law, medicine and business.

      Hope that helps.

  10. Thank you for the good information. I will use it to research and see if that is a viable back-up plan for me.

  11. Jennifer Barry

    I saw this and immediately thought of broadblogs! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/09/human-barbie-boob-job-voucher_n_873705.html

    this is such a disturbing article

  12. I have to say that I am really enjoying this blog. The posts are interesting, informative and captivating. Thank you so much.

  13. Two really brilliant women who get too little credit, IMHO, are Marie Curie, who won several Nobel prizes, and carried on her husband’s research after his untimely death. She was, sadly, a victim of radiation before anything was known about it’s harm.

    The other was Queen Christina of Sweden. She seemed too “Tomboy” to some around here, but desired knowledge. Where these 2 feminists? In a way. They showed women could excel in the Scholarly realms.

  14. How have I missed out on this blog for over a year?! <3

  15. Hi! I love your blog and your contributions to Ms.Blog! I am a writer/artist out of Omaha. I’m curating a feminist art show in April. I’d love to share more information if you’re interested! Cheers!

  16. Your blog is interesting. I read this side by side with a Male empowerment blog. I like to know both sides of the coin.

  17. I was wondering if you would be willing to write something for my website? I was captivated by your comment on my site along with your own writings on yours.

  18. Hey I found your advice really helpful actually, so I mentioned it in this entry: http://misscompetitive.wordpress.com/2012/08/16/asking-for-advice-skype-scandal-conclusion/

    Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy!

  19. I love keeping up on this blog and what you’ve posted. You never fail to get the wheels turning in my head. :) I just wanted to let you know I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award at: http://unladylikemusings.wordpress.com/2012/09/14/one-lovely-blog-award/.

  20. I nominated your blog for the One Lovely Blog Award at: http://onewoman365.wordpress.com/2012/09/26/one-lovely-blog-award/ I love reading your posts!

  21. Love your blog!!!
    Absolute delight to read what you write!
    And your credibility makes it even more impressive!

    Keep writing!!

  22. Hello! I love your blog, and I nominated you for the beautiful blogger award. I realize not everyone is really big on the awards, but I just wanted to let you know you have given me some great insight into some of the topics on your blog, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts.

    http://scientificfemanomaly.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/beautiful-blogger-award/

  23. sunith sudakaran

    :)

  24. So, whats your Phd research topic was all about?

    • Women who enjoy motherhood live their lives differently from those who struggle. What can discontented moms learn from their happier counterparts? I wrote a series of portraits that gets beyond the mommy wars and lets women consider a variety of approaches to mothering which will help them to see what works, what doesn’t, and to consider what might work best for them.

  25. I adore your blog!

  26. That sounds amazing, any where to read that?

    • I’m shopping a book proposal. (Literary agents were interested and told me to start a blog, hence BroadBlogs.)

      I did find my originial dissertaion online at the New York Public Library, which focuses more on “the problem” — the more negative experiences. It’s called “Voices of Loss” by Georgia Platts (me).

  27. Awesome, thanks! I hope it becomes a book I can buy it! I think I have negative down…I’d love to hear your ideas for what might work! :)

  28. Love your blog! I nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. A link to the award rules and information is provided below:
    http://otrazhenie.wordpress.com/2012/12/02/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
    Enjoy!

  29. Hi Georgia,

    A commentator on my blog referred me to your site and I think it’s wonderful: insightful, punchy, articulate, forthright.

    Give us this day our daily Broad. (sorry!)

    Kind regards,

    Vivienne.

  30. Hi Georgia,

    Thanks for the rapid and helpful reply, and for taking a look at my blog. I read all of your links and found them (as expected) very insightful and interesting. I will amend a couple of posts on my blog to link to them, provided you have no objection.

    In turn, may I refer you to two posts of my own, which touch upon your themes? The titles speak pretty much for themselves:
    http://bluestockingblue.blogspot.co.nz/2012/07/is-pornography-ok.html
    http://bluestockingblue.blogspot.co.nz/2012/06/children-and-gender.html

    I would be most interested in your comments, if you have a minute.

    Vivienne,

    • Hope you don’t mind if I copy these answers on you blog posts (perhaps minus the links). Here goes:

      http://bluestockingblue.blogspot.co.nz/2012/06/children-and-gender.html

      Yeah, I don’t get why the mom would be angry that you didn’t recognize the gender with the way she dressed the boy.

      I’m less worried than you about not being taught a specific gender. From what I’ve heard of other parents who have tried this — maybe not so extreme but allowing a boy to wear a dress and play with a truck, for example (he chooses) — once they get to school they do tend to conform to avoid teasing, but at least they would have had a few years of exploring and developing different sides of themselves. Personality traits are found in each gender, anyway. But then, I’m more concerned about developing a wider personality range than in allowing a boy child, for example, to have an affinity for dresses or dolls.

      That said, I suppose there is a possibility it could be harmful. If I were the parent I would stress developing a broad personality over an affinity for dolls or trucks. So girls could become more assertive and strong and learn more teamwork while boys could become more nurturing and attuned a variety of emotions.

      Re: “I believe personality is innate and cannot be modified, not even by gender-non-normative parenting.”

      I believe that personality is formed in three major ways 1) the personality or porn with 2) social interactions you have with family, friends, and less so from others and 3) culture. The fact that you get both social patterns and individual differences suggests the role of all three.

      http://bluestockingblue.blogspot.co.nz/2012/07/is-pornography-ok.html

      I have many of the concerns you do about pornography but the results seem to be a bit different than MacKinnon had expected. Rather than becoming wild raping men many men are having trouble being aroused by real women who don’t look like porn stars. Apparently, when men continually orgasm to a particular type of look, that look gets attached to their arousal. Some men also seem to get sexually attached to their computers and the fireworks of online porn, more so than real women and real sex, causing ED in young men.

      Porn Can Cause E.D.?
      http://broadblogs.com/2012/05/14/porn-can-cause-e-d/
      Men Finding Fewer Women “Porn-Worthy”
      http://broadblogs.com/2012/07/30/men-find-fewer-women-porn-worthy/
      Real Women Competing With Porn Stars
      http://broadblogs.com/2011/01/18/real-women-competing-with-porn-stars/
      Should Women Give Men The Porn-Star Experience?
      http://broadblogs.com/2011/08/03/should-women-give-men-the-porn-star-experience/

      On the other hand, young men who have had plenty of experience with Internet porn seem to desire deep relationship with girlfriends, more so than past generations. Perhaps due to feminism.

      Guys Are Getting More Romantic
      http://broadblogs.com/2012/06/11/guys-are-getting-more-romantic/
      Guys Just Wanna Have Relationships?
      http://broadblogs.com/2012/11/28/guys-just-wanna-have-relationships/
      Porn Fantasy Mistaken for Reality
      http://broadblogs.com/2012/10/22/porn-fantasy-mistaken-for-reality/

      Other problems include women being exposed to violent and degrading porn (but also in mainstream society) and developing a craving for their own abuse. That doesn’t always happen, but when it does it worries me.

      I have more to write on this, but here’s this:

      What Do Top Model and Hard Core Porn Have in Common?
      http://broadblogs.com/2010/11/22/what-do-top-model-and-hard-core-porn-and-have-in-common/

      and mainstream effects:

      What Happens When You Beat A Sex Object?
      http://broadblogs.com/2011/01/12/what-happens-when-you-beat-a-sex-object/

      I can see the pro-sex feminist point of view too, that porn may be okay if it’s done, “right.” Like exploring sexuality and appreciating a variety of body types, consensual sex… unlike what is mostly out there right now.

      Porn: Pro and Con
      http://broadblogs.com/2010/12/27/porn-pro-and-con/

      You also state, “The idea that your average woman equates “I feel sexy” with “I want to give a blow job” is a remarkably male notion of women’s sexuality.”

      Interestingly, a lot of women learn that too. But then, women often come to see the world through male eyes. There’s a word for it: Androcentrism (a word I avoid in my blog). See these posts:

      Sex Objects Who Don’t Enjoy Sex
      http://broadblogs.com/2011/03/02/sex-objects-who-don%e2%80%99t-enjoy-sex/
      Being Sexual vs Looking Sexual
      http://broadblogs.com/2011/11/18/being-sexual-vs-looking-sexual/

      Also, you are right that men and women tend to steer toward different types of erotica. See:

      Men Watch Porn, Women Read Romance. Why?
      http://broadblogs.com/2011/05/16/men-watch-porn-women-read-romance-why/
      Twilight vs. Porn
      http://broadblogs.com/2012/11/19/twilight-vs-porn/

      I also agree that any pornography or sexual activity involving children is unacceptable. Kids can give consent, after all.

      Re: “I was thinking some more about pornography, and why some women deliberately create and display pornography involving themselves. It’s just a theory, but I wonder if those women are doing it (partly) to create a sensation of power. The ability (and apparent willingness) to give pleasure is a powerful thing. To prominently display that places the woman in a position of power: I’m showing you this. I know you want it! But you can’t have it, because I’m a stranger on the Internet thousands of miles away from you.”

      I hear this sort of thing a lot from men and I think it comes from a male perspective. The male role is all about power so they can project that motivation onto women. Also many men are reshuffled that women seem to take away their power. The women are probably seen a very differently. Women tend to see their beauty and sexuality — which are tied up together — as a measure of their worth. If they are seen as sexy than they are worthy and high status.
      Women may also get into porn for the money. Some get sidetracked from the desired career in Hollywood. Others are drawn to it, or forced into it, from prostitution. For those who enter voluntarily it’s about making a lot more money than they could otherwise.

      Re “I am stuck in the middle. Pornography is sexually arousing, but emotionally unpleasant for me. That creates a conflict worthy of Schlosser’s book. As a result, I recognise that, whatever it does to individuals and society, pornography is harmful to me. It’s not OK.”

      Sounds healthy to me.

      The way I see it is that porn is out there and it is protected by free speech so I am more interested in educating people on the pitfalls and they can do what they want with that information.

  31. Wow! Thanks for your very long and detailed reply. I have already read many of the posts you point towards, and will check out the others. I will cut and paste your replies into my blog.

    Porn is “junk sex”. Like junk food, it’s quick. cheap, widely-available, and popular. Most of us don’t eat junk food all that often. But there are people who don’t know the taste of a vegetable which isn’t deep fried and dunked in cheese sauce. In the same way as junk food leads to obesity and other unhealthy lifestyle sequelae, porn probably does the same. It doesn’t surprise me at all that some men become so conditioned to the appearance and behaviour of porn stars that “ordinary” women fail to measure up somehow. In a similar vein, there are probably some men who would prefer a burger and fries over a great home-cooked meal. I wouldn’t consider those men to be normal or healthy.

    Very glad to have opened this dialogue. I won’t monopolise this thread any further!

    Kind regards,

    Vivienne.

  32. Hi Georgia,

    I saw this and thought of you! Didn’t know where else to put it, but feel free not to post the comment and just use the link. (My email is on my “about me” page”). I also removed the anti-bot barriers to make it easier to post comments on my blog.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21033708

    Best wishes,

    Vivienne.

  33. I would like to thank you so much for this wonderful blog. I have read thirteen pages of it in the past week, and it has truly changed me into a more aware member of this world. Thank you for changing me.

  34. I really, really, really love your blog. Love your dedication, and passion to do something for the society. Hopefully, I’ll have a similar future too.
    Our sexist society needs more people like you.
    Really appreciate your work.

  35. Looking forward to reading your blog! I realised a long time ago the extent to which our ‘world’ and ‘ourselves’ are socially constructed, our entire consensus of what constitutes ‘reality’. When you strip that away…life becomes fascinating and so do we! We can step out of being limited little automated bundles of programming and become full of almost limitless potentiality…. :D

  36. Hi Georgia,

    I saw this article and thought you might find it interesting.

    http://blog.oup.com/2013/05/sperm-competition-pornography-dvds/

    Vivienne.

  37. In addition to the sociological issues and references, there has continued to be advances in understanding put forth in the psychoanalytic realm as well – on feminism. Notably, in my studies, Juliet Mitchell and Jacqueline Rose were early contributors, and many of the evolving theories influenced developmental theory, and other fundamental theories of psychoanalysis. Additionally, you may be interested in Marie Gournay – 16th century writer, editor of Montaigne’s essays….though this is my historical leanings getting involved…

  38. Thanks for the “likes”. I’m really enjoying your blog. Thank you for providing a safe and informative place for girls like myself to explore feminism.

  39. Hi Georgia,
    I have been reading your posts for last several months with great enthusiasm. I appreciate your style of analysis and the choice of topics. Thanks for such wonderful posts.
    Hug,
    Niranjan

    • Thank you!

      I enjoy your blog too, in your struggle with depression.

      I’m wondering if you will, over time, find yourself moving out of it and then educate us all on how you’ve managed to do so. BUT, hoping not to put more pressure on you in that way. A thought provoking blog whichever way it goes. And cathartic for many who are suffering now.

  40. I was curious as to what you feel/think about the “Silent Treatment”.

    • Could you be more specific?

      • I suppose, What are your thoughts on the psychological/emotional effects of the silent treatment? How should a person react and deal with the silent treatment when on the receiving end?

      • The silent treatment is a passive form of aggression, practiced more by women than men because women’s aggression is more punished, and repressed.

        Since its aggressive — meant to harm — it is harmful to the receiver, emotionally and psychologically.

        I don’t know the details of the circumstance you’re referring to. My most generous guess is that both sides are in the wrong, somehow. So the person who wants to end the silent treatment could admit where he was wrong, and be empathetic. That could be enough for her to admit where she was wrong, too. If she doesn’t admit wrongdoing, you could still take the high road and say that you care about her deeply and would like to talk things out so that you can both understand each other better and stop making the same mistakes. If you feel compelled to say why you feel hurt by her, try not to do it in an accusatory way, or you’ll likely end up with silent treatment, again. Try to be as generous as possible in communicating how you experienced what happened. That could encourage her to be more generous to you, in turn.

        If this isn’t helpful, maybe see a counselor. If you attend religious services, a pastor, or equivalent, would be free.

  41. Have you considered writing an article on why women are brainwashed by men into believeing why they love them? I was reading a book called ‘Cemetery Girl’ by David Bell, and I was trying to branch out into the psychology, the same goes fro Safe Haven and Nicholas Sparks. Something would be useful to help enrich society in knowing we should not be afraid of talking to someone, even if we fear the reaction of others.

  42. Well… To understand this concept further — you’d have to read those books to get a better idea of what’s being done here.
    In many cases where authors write about such ficticious events, they appear so life-like and it reminds me of things I have helped my acquaintances deal with when they have been forcing others not to run their moth. I have come to understand how to deal with someone who is timid and fear my reactions when they tell me their stories, but I would like to reassure them that I’m more than a soundboard, that I really do care as a person. So I began to think about that when I was proofreading a book for http://www.bookshare.org/
    I was thinking that there are psychological studies on Stockholm Syndrome and how women actually come to believe that they love the man that rapes them and stuff. Some,like in the book I read, don’t hurt them at all, but they take them from their parents, who don’t seem to care in most circumstances. One example would be parents who involved their children in human trafficking or drugs. This also accounts to the rope theory. This whole psychological aspect of the book was so profound I had to share it with others to ensure more word is out there and more holistic approaches are made.
    Cemetery Girl, by David J. Bell, has three hundred ninety-two pages. I really encourage you to look over it. In summary, Tom and Abby Stuart have always had a perfect marriage, with a beautiful little girl named Katelyn. One day, when Katelyn was twelve, she went missing, and for four years no evidence have been found. Finally, when she was sixteen, Katelyn return, all dirty and tired, but she refused to talk about the experiences she has been put through, and for this reason, the police couldn’t lawfully convict the suspect, so they were left with a choice, either to set the man free or take matters into their own hands. Tom decides to unyield the truth, but what he’s about to find out isn’t going to prepare him for what he already knew.
    When you read the book, you’ll discover that the author left some unanswered questions, many of which is a reminder that we may never know everything that has went by in such a time frame.

  43. Thank you. Your articles are quite interesting, hopefully we all get that true happiness rays began to warm our hearts and make the heart glad, when we can share with each other sincerely. Lots of love from Gede Prama :) :)

  44. I have to ask: Why “broad”blogs? Do you claim the word “broad” in a humorous and whimsical fashion, or is it something else?

    • All that and more.

      Broad = slang for woman. Not always positive. So taking the word and using it in an empowering way
      Broad = having wide scope. Blogging on a wide variety of issues related to women’s (broad’s) and men’s psychology

  45. Hi Georgia,

    My name is Alex and I am a Communications Manager at Barnard College. I am reaching out to you today with an idea for your blog. Being perfect and powerful, being a feminist: these are among the most popular topics of conversation among today’s young women. Barnard College’s new podcast series, Dare to Use the F-Word, tells the story of today’s feminists through the ideas, art, and activism that define them. Barnard President Debora Spar, in her new book Wonder Women: Sex, Power & the Quest for Perfection, explains that while most women today struggle with the idea of perfection, they also struggle with the concept of feminism itself. Are the two connected? Read President Spar’s thoughts in this exclusive post: https://barnard.edu/news/web-exclusive-president-spar.

    As a communications manager at Barnard, I want to continue these important conversations among feminist thought-leaders like you. I ask you to republish and share this post on your blog. Pose these questions to your audience; they may dare others to join us and use the f-word.

    Kindly,
    Alex

  46. This is definitely something worth posting. Although being mostly a historian and an advocate in the transhumanist community, this is just one of several things we can discuss, giving our own views on the subject.
    I’d be interested to track the feminist movement in today’s popular culture as opposed to how things were back in the day, to predict what we would see in future trends and know how to respond to these changes respectively. Good luck in your endeavours.

  47. From our class, I seem to remember that racism is more widely noticed than sexism now. It’s not surprising because it seems like some women don’t or refuse to see the sexism aspect. I guess some women may feel like we women already have equal rights, or men do enough for us so why bite the hand that feeds. Or is it that us women see it and we feel like we can’t do anything about it? Because it does have help to have numbers. Or are we still do divided feeling guilty that we would do such a thing to the men who put on a pedestal but then when things aren’t right throw us to the ground because we aren’t obedient like a dog? Thankfully most stable, well-mannered men do not act like this. But getting back to the point it would just seem in recent history that the Civil Rights Movement (thankfully) hasn’t lost steam (even though it’s not as strong as it use to be) has been more pressing on people’s mind as we remember that more recent than when women got the rights to vote and many other things. That was almost a century ago, than in the 1960’s finally African-Americans got the respect and the same rights as whites. But another reason I came up with is that maybe some women who are independent or pride on not being taken care of by a man, might view it as complaining, and therefore making the rest of us look like women are just being “brats”. When I say brats, I mean from the view point of a man being an adult while women just complain for no reasons like children often do

    • Well, maybe some women would feel that way. Yet there are so many inequalities that are invisible and yet that have been effects, that I would have to wonder if maybe the women simply weren’t aware of them. Or didn’t feel empowered enough to voice them– Which is a reflection of internalized sexism.

  48. I just wanted to tell you that I love, love, love your blog. Many of my questions about people have been answered here – both by yourself and your commentators. Thank you.

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