Why Guys Think They Almost Got Laid
You walk into the library and there is an attractive woman behind the counter. You check out books or get a library card and you dare to “connect” with the librarian by chatting a bit about something other than books.
Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, in this scenario, the guy might think that he just almost had sex. He thinks that he not only could have her but that he almost did. That isn’t, of course, how the librarian probably views it. She is just doing her job.
That’s Male Sexuality Myth # 3 as Jerry Stocking described it at The Good Men Project. Jerry’s a spirituality author and blogger who helps people eliminate fear, stress and worry. He thinks Myth #3 distracts from reality and real relationships.
I’m not sure why some men believe this. Maybe they are a little like one of my old boyfriends.
My past lover-in-question would get unusually distracted by women with certain attributes, shall we say? And I was none too pleased at disappearing as the heavenly bodies overtook him.
As we discussed it, along with how he could overcome the inane behavior, I began to see what was happening in his mind. As he focused on them, complemented them and began conversations, he was actually trying to “create connection” in an act of “virtual sex” — or so he thought.
I doubt they thought so.
So he thought his ogling was arousing them. Instead of annoying them. (Lost in La La Land he never seemed to notice their actual reactions.)
Here’s what is true about what he’d heard: The more turned on a woman thinks her lover is, the more turned on she tends to get. That happens in the context of relationship, not random gawkers.
Unfortunately, he had interpreted the truism in exactly the wrong way. He thought he was “turning on” strangers and that the behavior had no effect on my interest in him.
Yet his behavior made me lose interest.
So yeah, it does distract from reality and real relationships.
Jerry Stocking continued,
Notice, guys, how often you get laid and how often you think you almost got laid. The math of these two, if you will pardon the expression, is out of whack.
Guys, relax; notice your sexual energy. Stop directing it toward librarians, random women in the grocery store, life guards and women on TV. Really.
Keeping and then flowing sexual energy within will have you be happier, healthier and more satisfied. It will also make it more likely that you can satisfy the women in your life.
Posted on May 12, 2014, in men, objectification, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, women and tagged getting laid, men, objectification, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, women. Bookmark the permalink. 39 Comments.