Do Men Want Women To Ask Them Out?
Out of a class of 46 I’ve just got nine men (this is women’s studies, after all) — and only seven of them showed up in time to take the survey, so this is a very small sampling. And between a willingness to take that class and living in the Bay Area, they may be more liberal than most.
Here’s what I asked them:
Has a woman ever asked you out? If yes, what did you think and why? If no, would you like a woman to ask you out, or would it make you feel uncomfortable? Should it be socially acceptable for women to ask men out?
And here’s what they said:
Most of them – six – said they had been asked out. Five of them liked it. One said, “I want to think about and value her first.”
Several were surprised, since it goes against gender norms. Most thought they were asked out because they were too shy to make the first move. One guy said,
I was surprised. Mostly because I had feelings for her as well.
I liked her too, so it was good.
At least one liked it so much that she is now his girlfriend.
I was asked out to the prom by my current girlfriend. I found it a little surprising but the feeling wasn’t what I would call emasculating. To be honest it made me feel a little lazy for not asking first. But she put a lot of effort into how she asked me. I did feel a sense of role reversal, but it’s fine. I love her.
Another guy said,
It’s nice to be asked out. I’m more than happy about it. But I haven’t been asked by a girl I’m interested in.
And another added,
I liked the gesture. I wasn’t uncomfortable at all.
All of the guys thought it should be socially acceptable for women to ask men out. A 2013 Match.com survey also found 92% of single men feeling comfortable with women asking them out.
Another 2011 study found that when it comes to preference – most women prefer to be asked out, and most men prefer to do the asking. I’ll discuss why that might be more later. But that may be the biggest reason why women don’t typically ask men out. On some level they are aware that most men prefer to do the asking.
But that said, most of the men who were asked out felt flattered, and some ended up with girlfriends.
Posted on February 14, 2014, in feminism, gender, men, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged feminism, gender, men, psychology, relationships, sex and sexuality, sexism, women, women ask men out. Bookmark the permalink. 73 Comments.