Sex Drive: How Men, Women Match Up

How-to-Increase-Sex-Drive[1]Data overwhelmingly show that men typically have a higher sex drive than women, says UNLV psychology professor, Marta Meana. At least as measured by the frequency of fantasy, masturbation and sexual activity.

WebMD concurs, noting that study after study shows men with the stronger drive: “Men want sex more often than women at the start of a relationship, in the middle of it, and after many years of it,” according to Roy Baumeister, a social psychologist at Florida State.

Most men under 60 think about sex at least once a day, but only one-quarter of women do. Older men fantasize less, but still twice as often as their female counterparts. Men say they want more sex partners in their lifetime, they are more interested in casual sex, and they are much more likely than women to buy sex.

Norah Vincent passed as a man in an attempt to get inside the male psyche. After living as a “man” among men for a year and a half, she described the male sex drive as “relentless,” an “obsession with f’ing.” Male reviewers of Self-Made Man found her insights credible.

Of course, the male sex drive exists along a continuum, but it’s hard to imagine a woman making this comment about her unrelenting thoughts of sex with men.

Someone needs to invent a drug which has no hormonal imbalance side-effects but is able to erase a man’s sex drive and attraction to women. It would increase productivity rates to incredible heights. I’d be free and happy. I’d feel complete. I’d be able to concentrate on my biochemistry studying.

Some women want more sex than their partners, but in general the pattern goes the other way.

Given their lower drive, it’s not surprising that women are also choosier. Most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all, according to the University of Texas, Austin researchers who wrote Why Women Have Sex.

And, women are pickier about both “who” and “how.” They tend to want more connection and romance. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, says that women’s desire “is more contextual, more subjective, more layered on a lattice of emotion.” She says, “For women there is a need for a plot — hence the romance novel. It is more about the anticipation, how you get there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire.”

Life can be difficult with such a large gap between the sexes.

See this post in which biological and cultural factors that create the gap are discussed, along with how we might even things out.

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About BroadBlogs

I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych, women's psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State University. And I have blogged for Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos.

Posted on December 24, 2012, in men, psychology, relationships, sex, women and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Reblogged this on Kidozier's Blog.

  2. Sounds tiring to be a man (and kind of boring).

  3. I truly believe this article is true because men are horny all the time. Women don’t really get horny as much as men. Men will have sex with anything that has a hole, because they think about sex all the time and are more likely to buy sex. I think that’s really dirty and desperate for a man to go buy sex. Why just not try looking for it? Or is this something they do because it’s earlier to get a woman in bed by paying them. Women want that connection that they’re looking for before they have sex. Men find most women sexually attractive and women don’t find men sexually attractive at all. I thought that was funny but I wouldn’t agree with it because I had found that some men are sexually attractive.

    • re “Men find most women sexually attractive and women don’t find men sexually attractive at all.”

      I’m afraid you read that line too fast. It says that MOST women don’t find MOST men sexually attractive at all.

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