Women Don’t Rape, They’re Merely Insatiable
A 43-year-old German man met a 47-year-old woman in a bar. He went to her home and had sex with her, but when he wanted to leave she trapped him and demanded more. Seeing no other choice he agreed, expecting that afterwards she would let him go. But more wasn’t enough. Desperate, he fled out a balcony and cried for help.
She met her next victim on a bus. After his ordeal he was found “sobbing in the street” and begging the police, “Oh God, it was hell. I can’t walk. Please help me.” Sounds like she wounded him to prevent his escape.
Police charged her with sexual assault and illegal restraint. Yet the press is not calling her what she is: a rapist.
Beneath a photo of a couple in bed, the Mirror described the woman as a “nymphomaniac” while the Province posted the story next to a couple pictured blissfully in bed, and called the woman merely “insatiable.”
The inability to see this as rape likely stems from stereotypes about what rape is and who commits it.
Some people simply can’t conceive that men can be raped or that women can rape men. And that is likely mixed up with notions that men always want sex, and are – or should be – insatiable, themselves. And then there’s the belief that men can always overpower women, regardless of “technical help.”
Other stereotypes hold for both male and female victims. Such as, “What do you expect if you go to his/her apartment?” Or, “Once you say ‘yes’ you can’t say ‘no.’”
Some believe “rape myths” (false notions about rape) because that’s what they’ve always heard. Others hold to them because they make them feel safe. If a woman believes that only “bad girls” get raped, then she can feel more safe and secure. If a man believes that women can’t rape men, then he can feel secure, too.
Some just don’t get that rape means “sex without consent.”
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Posted on May 18, 2012, in feminism, gender, men, psychology, rape, sexism, women and tagged feminism, gender, men, psychology, rape, sexism, women, women raping men. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.
This article kind of surprised me because most of the time we just hear that men rape women. There are so many reasons for this because people believe men super sexual and their physical strength is much stronger. There is no way women can rape men. However, some women’s sexual drive is very strong and never enough with them. Some people think that is one kind of sickness, and I think that was happened to this woman. I like the phrase in this article “more is never enough.” I think in this society, men or women always try to feel safe to protect themselves such as thinking only men beat women (making men feel safer) but there are still many cases where women beat men.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment. But keep in mind that rape isn’t primarily about sex, though sex is a component, it’s more about other things. See, for example:
Does Provocative Dress Ever Cause Rape?
http://broadblogs.com/2011/09/26/does-provocative-dress-ever-cause-rape/
Mind of a Rapist: Trying to Bridge a Gap between a Small Self and a Big Man
http://broadblogs.com/2010/10/26/mind-of-a-rapist-trying-to-bridge-a-gap-between-a-small-self-and-a-big-man/
Rape Epidemic in South Africa. Why?
http://broadblogs.com/2011/01/14/rape-epidemic-in-south-africa-why/
Males being raped is something that we don’t typically hear about in the news. When I think of rape, I think of a woman being assaulted, attacked violently (typically) by a man and being raped and the shame that follows. When I think of a male being raped I think of young boys being molested or men in prison being raped. Rarely do I think of a grown man being raped by woman.
I guess we have been socialized to believe that women are powerless and that men have all the power. This belief leads us to being so confused when men are raped. Because we think of rape as primarily being a female-related type of matter.
I think men that are subjected to rape by women are more likely to not be taken seriously because it is so uncommon for it to happen. I would not be surprised if men reported rape to the police at a lower rate than women because men feel a lot of shame and that they are less ”masculine”. Women also experience shame but I think women and men;s experience of rape differ somehow.
Yes, rape is sex without consent and the word doesn’t care what gender you are. It’s interesting. I’m sure there’ll be a follow-up when she gets sentenced.
What I like to do to test gender equality is take a situation like a man raping a women and merely switch the genders of the two people in my head and try to figure out how I or other people would perceive it any differently. In this case, I switched the script to a woman raping a man.
First of all, the only biological inherrent things I can come up with as to why most rapists are men are the fact that it’s easier to rape someone with a vagina than a penis and also, men have more testosterone which as we all know is linked to aggression.
The rest of it, I feel is gender. It’s easier for a woman to succeed in her pusuit of getting laid than it is for a man. They say one of the hardest parts of a man trying to make love to a woman is to prove to her that he cares about here as a person and doesn’t just want to conquer her. Guys aren’t like that and don’t think anything along the lines of “does she care about me because I don’t want to have sex with her if she doesn’t.
Rape is a crime of violence and boys are brought up to be more violent. However, I don’t think it’s-often- exclusively violence that motivates rapists because if they were motivated by nothing but violence then why do they choose rape instead of guns or baseball bats or other deadly weapons?
SO what was this woman thinking? I don’t know but maybe it raised peoples’ awareness that rape is a social probelem of both genders. Get it right.
Interesting thought experiment.
*with a penis than a vagina
People believe that men cannot be raped by women but it is myth. Why people merely know about the fact that men can be raped is because men rarely report being raped. After being sexually assaulted, he feels ashamed and is afraid of being treated harshly by other men who think he lost masculinity and he is not a “man” anymore. Therefore, he does not let anymore know about the sexual abuse and keeps hiding it. As the article points out, people generally believe that men cannot be rapid because they are physically stronger than women but it does not mean that they never be rapid for sure. Besides, men can be rapid not only women but also by other men. Therefore sexual assault is a serious problem that both men and women have to be aware.
Previous to this class, I was taught that rape was not a question of lust or intense sexual desire, but a proclamation of power over another person. Reading this blog post doesn’t shock me all that much. I think its completely possible for a women to over power a man in some way into doing something(sexually) he didn’t want to. Given rape and sexual assault against men is typically less common because of the size and strength factor, it still happens. A couple things that honestly bother me as a man though, is that A. its not talked about as much when a man is sexually violated even though it can be just as traumatizing and B. as you said in your post, the women is not called a rapist even though she is. Isn’t that sexism?
Sure. That’s my point.
This is a lot more common than you might think. According to the latest CDC survey, 4.8% of all men were “made to penetrate” and 79.2% of the perpetrators were women.
An example of “made to penetrate” is a woman who has sex with a man who is passed-out drunk. There is some confusion due to the fact that their definition of rape excluded “made to penetrate” and only included men who had been penetrated. That was far less common (1.4% of men) and was mostly perpetrated by men. However, if you include “made to penetrate” as rape, which you should, since it is forced sex, the majority of male rape victims were raped by women. You can read the report at:
http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf
Here are some stories from male victims: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/v73r4/men_who_have_been_raped_by_women_can_you_tell_us/
Thanks for the added info. Interesting.